Family
by Yami Dragoness of Dark
Summary: When Xanxus's and Squalo's lives couldn't get any weirder, Squalo gets pregnant. Join them on their journey from pregnancy through the tra-I mean dramas of parenting. Told through connected dabblers and oneshots. XS mpreg future lemon/lime warning. Warning: some explicit content!
1. Startling

I have NO idea why I started writing these dabblers. Probably bored and thinking that Squalo looked too much like a girl for his own good...and then wondering if he really was one, and what happens when he and Xanxus f*. Yeah...that probably lead to the birth of these dabblers/oneshots.

This is a large collection of connected dabblers and oneshots that focus on Xanxus and Squalo's screwed up relationship when you throw a baby and unexpected male pregnancy into the mix.

I do not claim these to be the best damn mpreg stories out there. A far cry actually, since I make Squalo and Xanxus f*ing half the time. Squalo has an excuse. It's called hormones which suuuuuuuuck! Xanxus really doesn't, but oh well, enjoy. Just to keep some people coming back, I'll throw in a lemon down the line :D

Ratings vary between k+ and M based on language and-later-bloody details and probably sex. And Mpreg gets an M rating anyways so yeah!

If anyone actually has any requests for certain scenes, like say, baby stuff shopping or whatnot, tell me and I'll squeeze it in. I want to win a bet with Toitsu that I can make this thing at least fifty chapters :D help me please! Fifty bucks and four manga ride on this!

* * *

1: **Startling**

Xanxus prided himself in staying in control in the worst of time. Sure, he had a bad temper. He also had a bad habit of either throwing something at or shooting whatever was annoyinghim. And there were plenty of people-most of the Mafia-that could vouch for Xanxus's famous indifference and uncaring, if violent, attitude. The only ones who were relevantly safe around him were his Family, the Varia, and even they had to watch out. Xanxus knew all of this. It made him smirk.

So it took a little longer than most people to identify the emotion he was feeling when Xanxus found Squalo out cold in the training room. The swordsman woke up relevantly fast once Lussuria was called in and he had been showered with a bit of sun flame. Though once he was awake, he sprinted away faster than anyone who had just been unconscious should. They heard him throwing up in the bathroom a minute later.

That was the first of many episodes. For the next several weeks it wasn't uncommon to see Squalo ditching meals in favor of throwing up, or finding him out cold on the floor. The first thought in everyone's mind was he had become bulimic. But there were no previous symptoms and despite hardly keeping down any food, he was gaining weight slowly and steadily.

Two weeks after the first fainting spell, Squalo and Bel got into an argument. This wasn't unusual by far. It was unusual for the two not to fight at least once a day. What is unusual is for Squalo to burst into tears halfway through said argument. No one knew what to do, and in the end, a few passing maids offered to take him to the kitchen to calm him down. When they next saw Squalo, he was back to his normal self, albeit a little quieter and with a more subdue manner. It vanished the next day, which Squalo spent training in the training hall. Luckily, he didn't pass out again.

It was three weeks after the first of many crying fits. Only Xanxus noticed at first because he went to sleep every night and woke up with Squalo everyone morning, but instead of the usual black pants and tight workout shirt with bandages wrapped around his torso, the shark had taken to wearing loose sweat pants and a loose-usually large-t-shirt. The bindings stayed in place, but it noticeably caused him pain to put them on, and they were usually removed before lunch.

The fits of crying and fainting were getting worse, as was the nausea. Xanxus finally ordered his lover to go to the doctor. Squalo didn't need telling twice. He went the next day, refusing all offers to accompany him. He returned four hours later- the wait was long he said -and shut himself up in his and Xanxus's room. A maid brought him some tea and soup for dinner.

It was the two days after the doctor visit when Squalo got into a fight with Levi and Bel. Not just words, but punches as well. While he was usually the one who threw a good number of the punches, everyone noticed that Squalo spent most of the time dodging any hit thrown at him, and blocking all ones aimed at his stomach. Ten minutes in, Lussuria, Mammon, and Xanxus managed to separate the three combatants. Bel yelled some nasty things. Squalo burst into angry tears and yelled, "You'd be the same if you found out you were pregnant!"

Silence filled the room. Everyone wore thunder struck expressions, staring at their swordsman. A passing maid dropped her bundle of clothes, jaw loose. There was a thud and everyone panicked as Xanxus fainted. He woke up a little later, and spent some time thinking. Squalo joined him, apparently in a better mood now that everyone wasn't being mean to him.

The only negative thing about revealing the truth was Bel asking where babies came from.

* * *

Because Bel is a twisted little psyco, but we love him :D. Yeah, first part done. As I said before, these are dabblers! All of them are less than a thousand words unless otherwise noted in the A/N, at which point it is a one shot. R&R peeps


	2. Movement

Next dabbler! And as you all are bound to ask, I shall inform you now. Squalo was around three months when he finally found out he was pregnant. -Delayed much?- Now for a little note. I spend about two or three hours a day writing. Of those two/three hours, I spend an hour to an hour and a half doing research. Just because our mother is a baby nurse doesn't mean I know everything about it. babycenter .com offers a week by week account of pre and postnatal development of the child-and mother-I got info from there so...

Squalo: F* THIS! WHY THE F* AM _**I**_ THE ONE SUFFERING?  
Yami: -raises eyebrow-do you **_want _**Xanxus to be pregnant?  
Squalo: well...  
Yami: think of him on women hormones! You wouldn't last a day of him on estrogen and proestrogen!  
Squalo: You spelled the last one wrong.  
Yami: LIES! -hits Squalo with a ttranquilizer gun- Now that he's unconscious, let's continue with the story.

Shit and since I forgot the disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Katekyo Hitman Reborn. If I did it would be very different. Gokuera and Yamamoto would be screwing each other, Chrome and Hibari would have several kids, Viper would be female and with Bel, Xanxus and Squalo would be married with three kids, and the Arcobaleno would be uncursed.

* * *

**Movement**

In many sports, a strong balance is required. Swordsmanship is one of them. Without good balance and stable center of gravity you cannot do many of the complicated-or even basic-moves. By the time Squalo hit his seventeen week mark, he could no longer train. Xanxus took him off all missions. This was a massive blow to the swordsman, who had cried, more over the loss of his ability to train than the suspension from missions.

On the plus side, he felt the baby move. Lying on his side-he couldn't lie on his back anymore- on the living room couch, watching reruns of CSI, he felt a light fluttering. Bel, who loved CSI very much and used any excuse to watch it, was in the room at the time. Under his curtain of blonde hair, an eyebrow rose when Squalo jumped. "What?"

"I just felt the baby f*ing moved!" He sounded excited.

Bel wondered over and placed his hand on Squalo's lower abdomen. The bump was barely noticeable until you touched it or were looking for it. A frown appeared on the psycho's face. "I don't feel anything."

"You can't, not yet," Squalo informed him, brushing the cold hand off his tummy.

Bel, a little disappointed-he'd never admit to it-returned to his seat and continued to watch his show.

Several weeks passed by with little incident, except Squalo had taken to swimming for increasing amounts of time. His appetite had mostly returned, as had his habit of being loud, though he spent longer periods being quiet or talking softly to the baby growing inside of him. The only real problem now was his sleeping habits. He spent several hours each day taking quick naps because he got less sleep at night, Xanxus could vouch for this. Tossing and turning kept Xanxus up as well, and it wasn't until Squalo discovered that Xanxus's shoulder made a good pillow that either got a full night's sleep.

The twenty-first week rolled around. Xanxus was glaring at the computer screen, wondering if he would get in trouble again if he destroyed the blasted thing. New technology wasn't his thing. Being frozen for eight years can do that. They'd gone through three cell phones for him at least every six months. He had just decided that they could afford a new screen when Squalo plopped down in his lap. Startled-he hadn't noticed the shark entering-Xanxus demanded to know what he wanted. It was nerve wracking talking to Squalo nowadays because he had no idea what would set him off yelling-or worse-crying.

Squalo didn't answer, just grabbed Xanxus's hands and placed them on his slightly enlarged stomach. For a moment, Xanxus thought Squalo had gone insane. Then he felt it. A light push against his left hand. It was such a small and fleeting movement he almost didn't notice it. Another push against his right hand this time. Squalo looked up at him with a half smirk half smile on his face. Xanxus kissed him; hands now busy rubbing the bump that was his growing child.

As soon as people knew you could feel the baby move, everyone wanted to touch his stomach. Feeling a little annoyed, Squalo let them. Bel seemed particularly interested, and grinned whenever he felt the baby kick his hand, or in some cases ear as he was determined to hear the baby.

"Why do you feel the need to do that?" demanded Squalo one afternoon when Bel pressed his ear to the shark's stomach.

Bel smirked. "The prince needs to determine if the baby is common born or royalty."

Lussuria sighed when Bel was brought to him beat up and unconscious. "I wanted to bake cookies today!"

* * *

Yami: HA! DONE! TAKE THAT BITCHES!  
Bel: Ushishishi, any child of the Boss's would be royalty.  
Yami: It's with Squalo, and ten bucks says he epic common born.  
Mammon: Not really, he was in a mafia school as a child along with next generation leaders, like the Bucking Horse. -holds out hand for money-  
Yami: F*! -hands it over-  
Bel: R&R you low born fools.  
Yami: BEL!


	3. Add in Punishment

Yami: As you have no doubt noticed, the chapter says ADD IN.  
Kenshin: These are chapters added after-the-fact. This one takes place between **Nesting** and **Movement.  
**Yami: These will be added at any time, whether suggested by you people, by a friend, or by my sisters. You people give me ideas, I put them where I see fit. So LOOk at the chapters for ADD INs, it will say ADD IN.  
Kenshin: Now for the real author's note. This chapter contains adult material, such as sex.  
Yami: It hardly counts as a sex scene. I suck at writing those! -is depressed as she rereads her crappy third grade level sex scene-  
Kenshin: It is your first yaoi one, Yami-dono, do not dispair.  
Yami: Whatever...in anycase, we have a guest to do the disclaimer, say hello to Xanxus.  
Xanxus: I'm not a f*ing guest you idiot.  
Yami: say the f*ing disclaimer man!  
Xanxus: Yami doesn't own anything to do with Reborn!. Thank God.  
Yami: F* YOU!

* * *

**Punishment**

Mafia men and women tend to have violent tendencies. Try to keep them calm for too long and they snap. It is in their nature so you can't blame them too much. However, Xanxus felt very close to killing his Family as he looked at the mess in front of him. Bel, Squalo, and Levi stood in the middle of the disaster zone. Now, Bel and Levi were understandable. The two fought on a regular basis. They normally went outside to fight nowadays, but they still fought. But Squalo!

"Explain this you shitty pieces of trash," Xanxus ordered, a vein throbbing in his temple. They were all sporting cuts and bruises were beginning to show. Lussuria was complaining as he gathered up the first aid kit. Mammon was mumbling as he examined what remained of the living room. "We just renovated this room six months ago and you _idiots_ go and SCREW IT UP!"

They all visibly flinched before quickly pointing at each other. "HE STARTED IT!"

"I DON'T CARE WHO F*ING STARTED IT! I'M F*ING ENDING IT!" Xanxus roared, punching a new whole in the wall. Mammon whined weakly. "LEVI! CLEANING DUTY! BEL! KITCHEN DUTY! NOW GET THE F* OUT OF MY SIGHT!" They ran, looking back at Squalo, who looked nervous. Xanxus smirked, and walked over to his lover. Grabbing him by his hair, he began to drag him from the room. "You're coming with me."

"VOOII! LET MY HAIR F*ING GO! XANXUUUUUS! F******…." He was cut off as Xanxus jerked him into a room and threw him unceremoniously onto the bed. "F*! NO NO NO NO NOOOO!" He scrambled to get the bed between him and Xanxus as the man shut, locked, and bared the door. "Hell no you horny bastard! I'm f*ing pregnant! Who knows what your idea of a good f* will do to me!"

"I'm not giving you much choice shit head," Xanxus told him, already circling the bed. Squalo scrambled onto the bed to get to the other side. With a quick pounce, Xanxus grabbed Squalo's ankle and dragged him back. "Think of this as your punishment."

"I'll take laundry duty, thanks!" He kicked out, trying to get away, only to find himself trapped as Xanxus grabbed his wrists and bound them with his belt. "F*! Come on Xanxus! I'm not in the f*ing mo-" His complaints were cut off as Xanxus smashed their lips together. One hand worked at getting Squalo's loose button up shirt off while the other made quick work of their pants. The kiss ended with a slight pop as Xanxus moved on to biting and kissing Squalo's neck and collar bone.

"VO-OII! S-s-stop! F*!" Squalo squirmed, still trying to get away even as Xanxus pushed his shirt off his shoulders and began to assault his very tender nipples. He groaned. "Xanxus!"

Back when they first became lovers, Squalo quickly discovered that when Xanxus wanted sex, nothing less than beating him with a steel two by four would stop him. He had no two by fours handy at the moment. And what was worse. As Squalo had also discovered the first time they had had sex against his will, Xanxus was very good at getting him excited enough to want the sex. And what was worse, he would usually tease Squalo till the shark was begging to be pounded into the mattress. It sucked. No pun intended.

This was a perfect example of one of those times.

"F* XANXUS!" Squalo swore when his lover thrust into him without warning. "SHIIIIT! THAT F*ING HUUUUUURTS!" His voice was horse from the screaming, and there were angry red lines on his wrists from where he had tried so hard to free his wrists from their bindings. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could have done something to cause Xanxus pain, or even to have just grasped something, but the f*ing dickhead had to tie his hands up.

Xanxus smirked as Squalo moaned again, quite pleased to finally f* him. He had been meaning to for a while now, seeing as Squalo was acting like a sex deprived slut with his horrible mood swings. "You asked for it trash," he told Squalo, thrusting into him again. Squalo yelled, tugging fruitlessly at the belt around his wrists. "This is your punishment."

"F*! JUST LET MY WRISTS G…" He bit his bottom lip as a surge of painful pleasure made him arch his back.

"What were you saying?"

"Sh-sh-shit!" Squalo gasped. It hurt like hell. He hadn't had sex in months, and Xanxus hadn't even prepared him properly. He usually did. Though it was probably part of his supposed 'punishment.'

Satisfied when the shark only replied by moaning, Xanxus hitched his legs a little steadier over his shoulder and jammed into him again, electing a very arousing moan. If it continued like this much longer, he'd want to go again. The thought made his smirk grow.

Leaning over, he capture Squalo's already abused lips in a heated kiss. The swordsman leaned in hungrily, allowing Xanxus to assault his mouth with his tongue. He could feel Xanxus's blood pounding, his heart thudding, and himself nearing his max.

The baby gave a kick. Xanxus pulled away to stare at his lover's stomach as the baby gave another kick. A soft expression crossed his face. He bent his head, and kissed the bump tenderly.

The baby kicked again.

"I hate you," Squalo groaned into his pillow thirty minutes later. He was lying on his side, winching at every movement, and unable to move. Normally after such rough sex, he'd be lying on his stomach, but since his stomach region was carrying a precious treasure, he was stuck on his side.

Xanxus rolled his eyes as he pulled his pants back on and slipped the belt through the loops. "Sure, whatever. You want something?"

"Yes, ice for my throbbing _ass_!"

"If your screams of, "Harder Xanxus! Harder!" were any indication you loved it," Xanxus replied, doing a rather unflattering impression of Squalo only a few minutes earlier. Reaching over, he slapped his lover's sore ass and got up. Squalo yelped, and hid his face in his pillow, grumbling obscenities. "I'll send a Rosalina in with some ice cream." With that he left, leaving Squalo sticky, hot, sweaty, and stuck in bed till the bastard got back.

One thing was for sure, Squalo was never going without sex for more than five months. He couldn't take another round of this 'punishment.' The baby kicked. And neither could the baby. Little bastard hadn't stopped moving since it kicked during sex.

* * *

Yami: There you peeps go, my first attempt at yaoi sex.  
Xanxus: It sucks.  
Yami: Could you be nier about it.  
Xanxus: It doesn't suck as bad as your first attempt at drawing people.  
Yami: Go f* yourself with a f*ing cactis!  
Kenshin: Oh dear, well, while Yami-dono and Xanxus-dono fight, this one requests that you R&R, and tell Yami-dono what you think...and possibly give her some advice -sweatdrops-Good day.


	4. Nesting

Part three! Yeah, I still don't know what the f* is wrong with me to keep writing these. In this one, Squalo gets really upset, so prepare for hormonal OOCness on his part.

Squalo: shit bitch, I'm going to kill you!  
Yami: Sure you are, but before you do, I'd also like to introduce a co-host to these A/Ns. Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. Say hello.  
Kenshin: greetings everyone, I shall try to co-host well.  
Yami: Kenshin, and probably Squalo unless I knock him out, are my permanent co-hosts from now on, though we'll drag other people in every now and then. So, for starters, Squalo, say the disclaimer.  
Squalo: VOOOIII! She doesn't own a f*ing thing! So don't sue her!  
Yami: you could have done that without cussing shit head.  
Squalo: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!

* * *

**Nesting**

Nesting: a term used to describe a pregnant animal's need to find a place to give birth, noted most in cats, dogs, birds, rodents, and lagomorphs. In humans takes place between the fifth and eight month of pregnancy, or not occur at all. Pregnant women feel the need to clean, arrange, and reorganize their house and surroundings. Also call…

Xanxus put down the book. He didn't give a damn what else it was called. All he wanted to know was how to make it _stop_! For the past three weeks, Squalo had been in every room, on every f*ing floor, cleaning every god f*ing damn spot! At first, it had been amusing. That was when he was obsessed with just cleaning the Varia's area. He cleared that in a week. Then he moved on to the center of the mansion. The Varia area was located in the west wing, leaving the east, north (center), and south east wings for everything else. Living quarters was in the south east and east wing, business in the north. After tackling the west wing, he set off for the north wing. The ninth, who had been very patient with all of Squalo's pregnant antics up till now, finally snapped when the silver haired swordsman rearranged everything in the Document room.

Luckily that was the last room he had needed to clean. So, after being forbidden to clean the north wing ever again, Squalo moved on to the south east wing. That took another week. Now he was working on the east wing and Basil and Iemitsu were whining.

"Boss!" the cheery voice of Lussuria called. Said man stuck his head into the office. "Boss, have you seen Squalo?"

"He's in the east wing."

"Oh…what's he doing there?"

A vein in Xanxus's temple throbbed. "Cleaning," he ground out.

Bel popped into view. "The prince wants to know why Squalo is cleaning everything."

"He's f*ing nesting," snapped the leader, shoving the unhelpful book he had previously been reading into a drawer.

"Nesting?" Now Levi was there too. "I thought only animals did that."

"Well you're f*ing wrong, trash."

Mammon appeared. "Why is he nesting?"

"BECAUSE HE'S F*ING PREGNANT!" They all ducked as a glass of scotch hit the door. "AND HE WON'T F*ING STOP F*ING CLEANING EVERY GOD F*ING DAMN SURFACE IN THE F*ING MANSION!"

They all left rather quickly, content to leave their boss to his ranting and fuming. Lussuria set off to find Squalo with Bel and Mammon right behind him. Levi disappeared along the way. They found Squalo in the east wing, as Xanxus had said. His hair, most unusual, was braided and twisted into two buns on his head, held together with some pencils. A bandana was tied around his head, protecting his hair from the dust, and a mask over his face as he sprayed something that gave off a _heavy_ smell of pinesall. Other than that, and the loose clothing he was wearing, he might have looked normal. At least once a month he got into these fits on cleanliness where he would clean the main Varia rooms, cook, and do the laundry. The only difference was the noticable bump in the lower region of his stomach.

Squalo sent them away before they could ask if he wanted help. Several hours later, Lussuria returned to inform Squalo that Xanxus demanded he come to dinner now because he was not dealing with his lover whining about joint pains all night! Again!

Leaving the hall of portraits unfinished, Squalo returned to his side of the mansion. He was greeted with a large array of his favorite foods, and a rather annoyed Xanxus. "Stop trying to clean the whole f*ing house before the baby is born," Xanxus snapped right off the bat.

Squalo glared. "F* you!"

"Oh believe me, if a good f* would stop your cleaning rampage, I would in an instant."

"Horny bastard!"

"Most likely."

"F* off! I'll do what I f*ing want! I'm the pregnant one!"

"It's my f*ing kid too!"

"Not legally! Mother gets rights to the child, and we aren't married!"

"Is that why you've been f*ing avoiding me? Fine, I'll get you a f*ing ring and a whole goddamn wedding!"

"I hate weddings!"

"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT!?"

"I DON'T F*ING KNOW!" And with that, he stared crying. Again. Lussuria hurried over to comfort him. The other Varia members didn't look up from their food. It was a common enough occurrence now. The tears, while they still bothered them to some degree-no one wants to see a strong man cry-they had learned to ignore it.

"I hate this!" Squalo suddenly yelled. He swiped the plates and dishes in front of him off the table and onto the Persian rug. "I HATE THIS! I F*ING HATE THIS!" His fists slammed down on the expensive carved mahogany wood table, cracking four layers of polish. Xanxus didn't look up from his food.

Lussuria pulled Squalo from his seat and tried to lead him out of the dining room before more people came. There were already several maids and a few butlers outside listening and watching the drama unfold. Halfway to the door, Squalo's legs gave out and he crumbled to the floor, sobbing.

Now everyone was on their feet. The maids and butlers hurried in, some hastening away to get a doctor, others going to get some water or tea. Lussuria tried to get Squalo to sit up, but it was like he had lost all ability to hold himself up. His arms were wrapped around his bulging midsection, knuckles white, and shoulders trembling. "It f*ing hurts! I CAN'T TAKE IT! I CAN'T EVEN F*ING SLEEP! IT WON'T STOP F*ING MOVING ALL THE F*ING TIME!"

Dr. Shamal rushed in, followed by the maid who had gotten him. He took one look at Squalo's pitiful state, ordered him to be carried to his room and given some strong tea, and then left alone. Once Lussuria and Levi had left, each holding one of Squalo's arms, Dr. Shamal turned to the gathered people. "What happened?"

A maid pointed at Xanxus. "Master Xanxus and Master Squalo were fighting," she said, "And Master Squalo got very upset."

Dr. Shamal turned abnormally serious eyes on Xanxus. He didn't get a chance to reprimand the boy. One of the senior maids, Anita, who had been there since before Xanxus had arrived at the mansion, had stepped forward and gave him a good hard lady's slap; the kind with palm open, and all the strength of years of manual labor behind it. Xanxus's head jerked to the side, but he remained on his feet, albeit stunned. His cheek stung something awful, and he remembered all the times Anita had scolded him, or spanked him for doing horrible things as a child. For some reason, this hurt worse than all those times.

"Never," she said, her voice quivering with rage, "have I been more ashamed of my cousin's son. I have seen you do stupid things as a child, I have seen you attempt to kill your father, and the Tenth Vongola, but never, in all my years have I seen you been so stupid, so foolish, and so cruel. That boy is already at his wits end, and you have the atrocity to go and upset him and then ignore him! If you weren't an adult I'd put you to my knee, and give you the worst spanking of your life! But you're an adult now. Instead, you can go apologize to the one carrying _your_ child, and putting up with _your _cruelty!" With one last slap, she turned and strolled out of the room, everyone watching her leave with a look of awe etched upon their faces. Xanxus rubbed his cheek wirily.

An hour later found Xanxus quietly walking into the room he shared with Squalo. Dr. Shamal had kindly looked him over, pronounced him in good health physically, but mentally and emotionally drained. After a rather rude remark to Xanxus that made the Varia leader winch, the perverted doctor returned to whatever the hell he had been doing in the first place. This left Xanxus to apologize to Squalo.

The person he sought was laying on the king sized bed, curled up on his left side with pillows all around him. It usually took an hour at minimal to get the pillows just right so he could sleep. Either the doctor had given him something, or Squalo was just too tired, for he was fast asleep.

Xanxus hated apologizing. He had never apologized to anyone as a child, except to Anita because she was the only one crazy enough to spank him or punish him. She always required an apology after said punishments or he would get another ten minutes in time out, or ten more spankings. Time outs were boring and he hated being bored, and spankings _hurt_! But apologizing to any other living being was down right insulting to his pride as a bad ass assassin. There had only been one occasion he had apologized to someone other than Anita, and it had been to a girl from school, whose arm he had broken after accidentally knocking her out of a tree.

And now he had to do it again. Given, he knew he should. He actually felt bad about causing Squalo to have a break down. He had just been so annoyed…

Squalo woke the moment Xanxus sat on the bed. He remained motionless, keeping his breathing steady and even. Maybe the bastard would leave if he thought Squalo was sleeping. Instead, he found himself pulled into Xanxus's lap, and a warm, callused hand rubbing his sore back. It didn't take long before he fell back asleep to the lull of his lover's heart.

Before he descended to blissful unconsciousness, he heard Xanxus murmur, "Sorry."

* * *

Xanxus: Do you want to die quickly or slowly?  
Yami: Neither...  
Xanxus: Torture then.  
Yami: OH COME ON! I had to have you apologize! If you didn't say sorry, Squalo would have still been upset and...  
Squalo: He doesn't apologize now! What's the difference.  
Kenshin: This one thinks she is trying to give Xanxus-dono a conscious.  
Yami: thank you Ken-kun, tha's exactly it. Anyways, since you decided to appear out of nowhere, tell them what to do.  
Xanxus: R&R you f*ing trash.


	5. Red or Blue

Yami: Welcome to the next installment of Family.

Kenshin: Orinigally, this chapter was to be another add-in.

Yami: But I wrote it up quick. It's just a random little thing, rather crappy, but Hikari said Xanxus and Squalo needed to go shopping. Speaking of Hikari...

Hikari: HI!!! I'm the guest! :D anyways, I should be tellng you the disclaimer, but instead I'm trying to get Yami to write another add in chapter between the first and second chapters about the loving family to be going out to get the crib. Wish me luck!

Yami:...can anyone else see Xanxus and Squalo shopping for a crib? Or a rocking chair? I CAN'T!

Hikari: no own no sue!

* * *

**Red or Blue**

"I think this would look good on the baby," cooed Lussuria, holding up a little pink hat.

"Why the f* are you so sure it's a girl," demanded Squalo, as he stood at a nearby rack. He ignored the scandalous looks from other women in the store. "It could be a boy." He looked at a little green jumper, rolled his eyes, and put it back. Groaning, he sat on one of the many benches throughout the store. "How did you convince me to come here again?"

"Better question," a voice growled. "Why am I here?" Xanxus glared at Lussuria. The flamboyant sun guardian had dragged him along when he told him he and Squalo were going baby shopping. His first response was: don't spend too much, the second one was: F* no, I am not going baby shopping, the third was: Fine, just shut your f*ing mouth! So here he was, surrounded by women, most of whom were showing, sitting on a bench with a bunch of other very annoyed looking fathers-to-be.

"They have ways," a man mumbled.

"Mine told me she's so far along; she could go into labor at anytime. Scared the shit out of me."

"Mine has a f*ing companion who dragged me here," Xanxus sighed. "We already have the crib, a rocking chair, a changing table, a few toys, and I don't know what else."

"Then why are you here?" asked a third man.

Xanxus pointed lazily at Squalo, who was debating with Lussuria over purple verses red for a jumper and hat set. "They made me."

All four let out another depressed sigh.

"Your's doesn't look too far along," the first man commented, looking at Squalo.

"Small baby," Xanxus replied automatically. It had been the same wherever they went. Pregnant women seemed to gravitate to each other, and the first comment out of their mouths were either, "You're so big!" or "You're so small!" Squalo got the latter comment every time. Each time he replied, "Small baby."

"Lucky," sighed the second man. "I've got triplets coming."

The other three winced and offered their sympathies. "I'd die if I had to deal with three new ones at once," the first man admitted. "My brother had triplets when he and his girl were eighteen. It was a nightmare."

"I've got a large Family," Xanxus announced. "I could get an infinite number of babysitters. But dealing with three little brats crying…" He stopped as many murderous gazes fixed on him. The fourth man leaned over and whispered that the "B" word was forbidden. Grumbling, the Varia leader kept his head down, and waited for the womenz to get back to shopping.

The silence except for sighs went on for several minutes before a voice called out to Xanxus. "Hey, idiot!" He held up a blue jumper and a red one. "Red or blue."

"Why are you f*ing asking me?" Xanxus's asked, horrified at the thought that Squalo was asking _him_ what f*ing color they should get. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!"

"Red then!"

"Why red, I like the blue."

"THEN BLUE! FOR F* SAKES!"

"Well…"

"Oh!" God, Lussuria sounded like an excited aunt. "I know, why not get both!"

"Good idea."

Xanxus swore.

The next time Squalo and Lussuria went out shopping, Xanxus sent Mammon.

* * *

Yami: Ten guesses who the guy with triplets was :D

Hikari: That's our dad! He made a camo appearance! :D

Kenshin: Interesting. Well, this one will say it this time R&R.

Hikari: And don't forget to send in Add in requests!


	6. Pepare

Kenshin: This one thinks it is far too early to be up.

Yami: This one agrees but this one also can't get back to sleep, so zip it!

Kenshin: O.o

Yami: Okay, this one is an explination like chapter. Unless you all want me to put to gory details of how Squalo is capable of carrying a child, I won't, though a later chapter does give some explinations. So yeah...-yawns-

Kenshin: We thank you all for the reviews. They are much loved. And the disclaimer: do not sue, for we don't own a thing.

Yami: Well...the baby yes.

Kenshin: What is the gender anyways. Come one tell us!

Yami: :D NEVER! Let's have our wonderful readers try and guess!

QUESTION: What do _you_ all think the baby is. Boy, girl, or twins.

Yami: The answers will in no way affect the story, since I already have 33 chapters written, and most are well past birth, but go ahead and try to guess what my devious plan is.

* * *

**Prepare**

As both Xanxus and Squalo quickly discovered, the baby did not know what night and day meant. Up at all hours of the day, and doing somersaults in mommy's tummy at odd hours of the night. Propped up on pillows didn't work as the books had suggested. Squalo usually ended up on his back by morning, and in a lot of pain. Sleeping with pillows arranged around him took too long, and Squalo tended to get frustrated to the point of tears and cussing after forty-five minutes of constant rearranging.

Finally, _finally_ they found the position to sleep in. Curled up with his back to Xanxus as the other man held him, with a pillow tucked between his knees. The baby still kicked, and moved around, but at least in this position Squalo-and in turn Xanxus-could get some sleep. It was very welcome sleep. At thirty-three weeks along, they both needed it, Squalo especially.

He had finally stopped his cleaning rampage and spent an increasing amount of time in Xanxus's office with his new spouse. A few days after the argument that ended in Squalo having an emotional breakdown Xanxus had gone out and brought a simple silver wedding band with a small sapphire. His own band had an orange stone in it. At Squalo's request, there had been no wedding, though they had both signed a marriage license and decided to wait till after the baby was born to announce the marriage to the Mafia world.

Now instead of cleaning, Squalo spent the time reading. And reading. Pause to complain to Xanxus and maybe get a back rub. Back to reading. The only other things he did were nap, swim, and eat. Of course, the napping was becoming difficult. Before, he had just curled up on the sofa in Xanxus's office and napped. Now he had to spend a long time just getting comfortable, and let's not forget needing to move whenever the baby moved. More than once he had fallen off the couch-a relevantly short one thank god- because there wasn't enough room to accommodate a baby and him. Oh the annoyance! Not to mention the frequent trips to the bathroom.

Another problem had managed to arise by this point as well. The doctor had originally assured them both Squalo would give birth normally. Now the doctor saw a problem in the form of the pelvis.

Many people had commented on Squalo's feminine looks when he was growing up, even more so when he had let his hair grow-his feminine side trying to show through?-but now it became obvious why this was. It wasn't just the face, or the hair, or the smooth pale skin. It was the figure, the thin, skinny figure that held no fat, only wire like muscles, and a rather female like curve in the region of the hips. No one had ever pin pointed that as the cause of the girl comments that got many a people mutilated or killed. That is, until the doctor took a second look.

"Your pelvis is somewhere in the middle of male and female," he had told them, adjusting his glasses. "The arch is much wider than a male's, which gives room for the baby to grow, but at the same time it is smaller than a female's. That might explain your baby's smaller size and weight." The baby was a about ¾ a pound under weight. "Complications shouldn't arise since it is smaller, but be careful. For the rest of your term, I suggest you rest. Feet up. Get up every now and then to get your blood circulating. Eat right, and take regular naps. And I would look into a massage for your back." His eyes caught and held Xanxus's as he said this before looking back at his papers.

He handed them some papers to fill out. "Pre-registration and a birth plan," he answered when prompted. "Best get it out of the way now. The pre-registration will allow you to come right to the maternity ward upon arrival, and the birth plan details who you want in the room with you-" Squalo grabbed a pen and wrote down Xanxus's name. "-and if you want pain killers, and whether your baby stays in the room with you or in the nursery. Also…" he pulled out another piece of paper and handed it to Squalo. "Keep track of your baby's movements. 'Counting kicks' is what we call it. Settle down for an hour or two every day at the same time and count how many kicks you feel. Plus ten, everything is fine, otherwise call me strait away."

They got up to leave. Squalo dropped the papers he was holding. The doctor picked them up and handed them to Xanxus. "One other thing; I've noticed you have a tendency to ignore my orders to avoid carrying objects over fifteen pounds. That will not do. Rest is what you need my dear." He insisted on calling Squalo "my dear" even though he considered himself male as the doctor should very well know.

He waved them all. They left, Squalo grumbling obscenities under his breath.

True to the doctor's orders, the Varia and miscellaneous maids kept Squalo off his feet as often as possible. Cooking was off limits (a big problem, as Squalo often woke up in the middle of the night craving sweets, and was unable to get anything except the chocolates he had stashed in his bed side table), he was banned from lifting _anything_ except the blasted remote or a glass of water, and god forbid he be without an escort for more then five minutes. That included the shower or bath, though then it was Xanxus who was with him, and Squalo had absolutely no complaints about that.

The only other things bothering Squalo-and scaring the living daylights out of the hardened mafia assassins-were the frequent-and very annoying- contractions. Braxton Hicks contractions the doctor had said. "Nothing to worry about. Just be sure to count the contractions as you get closer to your due date." The BH contractions had been going on for several weeks now, but had recently become more frequent, causing the poor mother much discomfort.

Just a few more weeks to go Squalo often thought as he lay resting. And then I can _kill _something!

Aww, the sweet thoughts of motherhood.

* * *

Yami: Because Squalo is a violent bastard, no matter how feminine you make him XD

Kenshin: How rude.

Yami: It's true.

Kenshin: True. Well you all know the drill, R&R


	7. Story

Yami: -is soaking wet- F*! F*! F*! F*!

Kenshin: O.o what is wrong?

Yami: Ever try giving a hyper active dog with fleas a bath? It isn't easy, and you get soaking wet, and fleas jump on you, and F*ING EWWWW! -hates all bugs-

Kenshin: -coughs-well um...while Yami-dono is ranting and raving over there, I shall do the author's note. This idea came from a commented from Yami-dono's mother as they went through a box of old books. One of them was the Cat in the Hat, which Yami-dono was informed she and her sisters were read before they were born. As for the disclaimer, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Story**

You always have vague childhood memories. Building a block tower and knocking it down. Watching a TV show. Opening a present. Just little things that have no real value or meaning. Squalo could remember running to his mother with a skinned knee, crying. He could remember the first time his unborn sister kicked his hand. He could even remember his mother singing a lullaby to him. But the most vivid memory he had was of the time he and his mother had visited his grandparents. The house was old, and smelled of freshly baked biscotti. It had started to rain. His mother sat with him in an old rocking chair, and read him a book. Even now, he could quote it word for word.

""This little fish," I said to Mr. Carp, "I want him. I like him. And he likes me. I will call him Otto."" Squalo read from the children's book. His mother used to replace little fish with little shark, and Otto with Squalo. She had a great sense of humor.

"_Mamma," Squalo called as he walked over. His mother's stomach was large, carrying his little sister. "Why you weading to Awianna? She can't heaw you."_

_She looked over at him and smiled. "Of course she can." Motioning for him to come over, and pressed his ear against her enlarged stomach. "Hear her moving? She can hear us too. Every word we say, every song we sing, and every story we read. I read to you when you were inside me as well." Squalo stared at her before quickly climbing into her lap and looking at the book. His face was serious as he pretended to read the book._

The memory was vivid in his mind, despite how young he had been. Now, he sat, his own stomach enlarged with a new life growing inside of him, reading the very same book his mother had read to both him and his sister. "Fish Out Of Water" by an American author, Helen Palmer. After his mother's untimely death, his grandmother had taken to reading it to him every night.

Now, he sat in the rocking chair, reading the book.

""Very well," Said Mr. Carp. "Now I will tell you how to feed him." Then Mr. Carp told me:…"

"Why are you reading to your stomach?" Looking up, Squalo spotted Bel and Mammon, both peeking in curiously. Kids, the Varia battle commander thought, smirking.

"It helps the baby," he informed them. "Babies are comforted by their mother's voice."

"You yell enough for it to hear you," Mammon pointed out as they both entered the room. Bel plopped down on the floor next to Squalo and put a hand on his stomach. The baby kicked. He smirked.

Squalo flicked the ex-Arcobaleno off, before saying in an annoyed voice. "They like to hear their mother talking to them."

"You do that enough too," Mammon told him, also putting his hand on Squalo's stomach. Another kick.

"Are you two here for a f*ing reason, or should I kick you out?"

"We wanna listen," Mammon admitted. "I've never heard this story."

Bel insisted that he was just bored.

Squalo told them if they wanted to hear the story to shut up and get their cold hands off his stomach. ""When you feed a fish, never feed him a lot. So much and no more! Never more than a spot, or something may happen! You never know what." Then I took Otto home. I gave him some food…"

Outside a fork of lightning suddenly flashed followed seconds later by the roar of thunder. The lights flickered, and then went out. "F*."

"I demand the lights come on," Bel ordered in his princely manner. "By order of the prince!"

"Vooii, it's fine," Squalo sighed, sounding a little tired. He closed the book, and recited from memory. "I did not give him much. Just one little spot! But this did not make Otto happy. He wanted more food. He had to have more. Poor Otto! He just HAD to have more!"

Several hours later, Xanxus pushed open the door to the nursery holding his lit hand aloft. The electricity was still out and he was vaguely worried. Squalo disliked it when the air conditioner went out because then the rooms got stuffy and he felt sick. He was met with the oddest sight.

Squalo was sitting in the stupid black rocking chair he just had to get, wearing the girly white maternity shirt Rosalina had lent him with his own pair of sweat pants, fast asleep. Sitting on either side of him, using his legs as pillows were the two youngest of the Varia six, Bel and Mammon. They too were asleep. A book lay on Squalo's lap, its colorful cover dancing in the light cast by the flame.

The urge to take a picture was too much. He turned and left. A few minutes later he returned with a camera and snapped a quick picture. Tucking the camera away, he walked over and gently shook Squalo's shoulder. "Wake up," he ordered gruffly. Nothing. Squalo's head lulled to the other side, letting out a light snore. "Hey, f*ing nurse shark, wake up," he called, using the new nickname he had come up with.

Groaning, Squalo woke slowly. Blinking in the fire light, he looked up at Xanxus. "What?"

"It's ten," he told him. "Come to bed. And send the f*ing kids to bed."

A look of confusion flashed across Squalo's face before looking down. Comprehension dawned as he looked at the Varia kids sleeping against his legs. With a grunt, he tried to get up. His large belly prevented him. Xanxus smirked while Squalo swore violently, waking Mammon and Bel. "Help him up," Xanxus ordered, turning to leave, "and make sure he gets to our room."

For once, neither Varia member laughed at Squalo's misfortunes and instead just helped him stand.

The next time Squalo read to the baby, they both appeared to listen as well.

* * *

Yami: Yeah, it wasn't the cat in the hat, I figured Squalo's Mamma would read him "A Fish Out Of Water" by Helen Palmer. Which I don't own!

Kenshin: Was this one supposed to say that earlier?

Yami: Yes, but I forgive you. It made the joke a little funnier I guess. Well whatever. Next chapter Squalo goes into labor! :D

Squalo: WHY THE F* ARE YOU HAPPY ABOUT THAT!? LABOR HURTS LIKE F*!

Yami: -smirks-because I love seeing you in pain. R&R everyone!


	8. Labor

Yami: And what you all have been waiting for! The birth...or start of it. Labor, what makes strong women-and men-cry like babies. Fear not for all you sick perverts out there, I'll actually write the birth later...maybe the next chapter...if I feel like it. KENSHIN!

Kenshin: Hai Yami-dono! This one is here to tell you once again that Yami-dono doesn't own Reborn! Except the child of course.

Yami: Damn strait!

Kenshin: And to enjoy watching Squalo being tortured by an unborn child :D

Yami: XD

* * *

**Labor**

When he had been small, Squalo had hated when his mother or grandparents played the waiting game with him. It wasn't really a game, just a way to get an overactive and loud child to be silent and calm for a while. It took him quite awhile to realize this, and by the time he did, his grandparents and mother were dead and he was alone in the world. Since no one made him play the waiting game anymore he took it upon himself to be as loud and active as possible.

To find that once again he had to play the hated game was killing him. It didn't help that all around him, the normally violent, loud, and active Varia were rather subdued. In fact it was down right creepy! Even Levi, who Squalo had never managed to get along well with, was respectfully quiet whenever he passed Squalo in the hall or the man's room. At least Bel was being mostly normal, that is to say, annoying. He had taken to poking Squalo's swollen stomach, which always caused the baby inside to move, and Squalo to have to sit down quickly.

Speaking of the baby, it moved; a lot! At the latest visits to the doctor, he had told them it would be a very active baby. Xanxus had given Squalo a smirk, who had given him the finger. When asked, they both stubbornly refused knowledge of the gender. "Male or female, it is going to be the next leader of the Varia," Xanxus had said.

Squalo hit him and snapped, "VOOOOI! Don't call our baby an "it"!"

Back to the present. It sucked being 37 weeks. He was officially full term, meaning the baby could come at any time. Xanxus had ordered that he should have someone with him at all times. If that wasn't annoying enough, most of the time it was one of the Varia who, as previously mentioned, were acting weirder than he was. And he spent half the time crying! To avoid said guards, Squalo had taken to napping in Xanxus's office. He spent a lot of time sleeping nowadays. It was a common occurrence for him to sit down and wake up three hours later with no recollection of falling asleep.

"It's because you're tired," Xanxus had told him when Squalo had woken up after a four hour nap and complained about it. "Take naps more often." He'd never admit to having read any of those stupid baby books Squalo had gotten cover to cover. His reputation was already at stack with a baby on the way, he wouldn't ruin it more.

Week 37 day 4 rolled around. Squalo felt sick. His contractions were closer together and longer than normal. It hurt. He hid in Xanxus's office to avoid his guards again. After half an hour of listening to his spouse complain, Xanxus sent him away, telling him to go drink some tea or something. Squalo left in a huff, ignoring the now frequent pains. Deciding to return to his room and nap, he turned left at the nearest corner. He got about ten steps before a horrible feeling overwhelmed him.

Putting a hand to the wall to steady himself, he put the other on his lower stomach. The baby had shifted again, curled up much to low. He swore loudly as something wet trickled down his leg. Taking a deep breath, he held it for a minute to see if the pain would go away. It didn't. He screamed.

The first one on the scene was Mammon, whose room was only a few feet from where Squalo was now curled up. "What's wrong?"

Gasping, the sword wielding assassin ground out that his water just broke. Mammon began to panic as did Lussuria, who had arrived just in time to hear Squalo's words.

"The baby isn't due for three more weeks!" the flamboyant sun guardian shrieked.

"Stop giving birth!" Mammon ordered stupidly.

Squalo glared at the two of them. "If I could, I WOULD! NOW DO SOMETHING!" He doubled over again, letting out a painful scream. The world blurred then went black.

He woke hearing Xanxus shouting at someone to grab his other arm. A moment later he was hefted up into two pairs of arms. The one of his left was obviously Xanxus; the one of the right was Lussuria. Grabbing a fistful of his husband's hair, Squalo began cursing him to hell and back. To the Varia leader's merit, he said nothing in response to the abuse as both he and Lussuria ran pell-mell to a car waiting outside.

Ten minutes later they were all rushing into the hospital, Bel ordering for assistance. A nurse hurried over, pushing a wheelchair.

If things had gone normally, the narration would stop here because a male pregnancy is complicated enough without going into details of the birth. However, as is often with Tsuna and his Family, nothing is ever normal with the Varia when they are in an unusual situation. So let's continue the narration.

Their normal doctor wasn't in. He was on a house call out in the country helping someone else give birth. Luckily-or unluckily-Dr. Shamal was there, flirting with some of the nurses. Upon spotting the Varia after their loud entrance, he hurried over, offering assistance. They later discovered he had been sent by the ninth to ensure the safe birth of his first grandchild. That aside, at one point Squalo grabbed the doctor's tie and told him with a lovely array of colorful language not suitable for younger readers to "get this baby out of me." It wasn't said like that, but that quick sentence sums up everything he did said without the rude adjectives or verbs.

Nineteen hours of shouting, crying, trying to break Xanxus's hands, threatening, and various other things later, the Varia princess was born.

* * *

Yami: Okay everyone give faithful reviewer ktina21 a round of applause, she correctly guessed that Xanxus and Squalo were having a girl.

Squalo: -appears out of nowhere-not for kicks though, right?

Yami: Nope! If I had given you and Xanxus a boy first off, you'd have pressured him a lot more, plus been more...guy like I guess. Giving you a girl meant that you learned to be gentle and kind.

Squalo: Because the mafia takes care of its women.

Kenshin: Exactly.

Squalo: Fine then, R&R you brats!


	9. Pained

Yami: F* YES F* YES F* YES!

Xanxus: The f* is wrong with you?

Kenshin: Yami-dono got a 18 out of twenty on her physcology final, and a 94 average in the class. She is happy.

Xanxus: Is that why she's giving the trash two chapters today?

Kenshin: Yes.

Xanxus: Whatever. The brat doesn't own f*ing KHR, so don't try to sue her or I'll kill you!

* * *

**Pained**

When he was two he had broken his arm falling out of his bed. When he was three, he had split his lip running up the stairs. When he was four he had accidentally stabbed himself in the hand. When he was five he was shot three times in the back, got up, and cut his father to ribbons. He woke up two weeks later in the hospital with his maternal grandparents watching over him. His mother and baby sister were dead. At the age of seven he came home from school to find his grandfather dead. His grandmother followed a year later. He was shipped to a mafia school and left there.

That was just Squalo's early childhood. He knew pain. He knew suffering. He had been shot, stabbed, nearly eaten alive, beaten, bruised, f*ed till he passed out-don't ask-and tortured. All of this led up to a colorful medical history that had the nurses raving.

Upon arriving at the hospital in labor, Squalo had been taken to the maternity ward and placed in a birthing room. Xanxus followed. Lussuria was allowed in for a few minutes to set up cameras. "We need a tape of this! First minutes of life! First cry, first opening of the eyes, first…"

"VOOOOOI! SHUT THE F* UP AND GET THE F* O-F*********K!" He grabbed Xanxus's hand and squeezed hard as another contraction hit.

"Almost baby time," one of the L&D nurses chuckled. Squalo fell back against the pile of pillows, tears leaking out of his eyes. Xanxus kissed his wife's forehead, and in a rare show of affection, grabbed a wet cloth and began wiping away the trickles of sweat that had appeared. This was one of those times he couldn't do anything but be there, and it bothered him. A lot!

The door opened and in walked Timoteo, dressed in a surgical gown like Xanxus with a mask on. The crinkles around the edges of his eyes told them he was smiling. "How are you feeling Squalo?"

"Like someone is f*ing me with a medieval torture device," the silver haired man admitted. He knew Xanxus was rather put off about having his father in the room too, but Squalo had loved his grandfather, and had been horribly upset when the old man had died. He wanted his baby to know their grandfather.

Another figure clad in the pastel green surgical gown walked in. "What the f* are you doing here?" demanded Squalo when Dr. Shamal strolled over.

"Your regular doctor is away at the moment. I'll be taking over," he informed the patient before lifting up the blanket and checking. "You're progressing rather fast. Six centimeters already. Odd for a first timer."

"STOP STARING!"

"I wouldn't yell at the person who is delivering your baby," Dr. Shamal said in a warning tone. Squalo fell silent, but continued to fidget every time Shamal looked under the blanket.

An hour later, the contractions were worse. Shamal said he was fully dilated and suggested that he start pushing if, "You want the baby out tonight."

He pushed; squeezing Xanxus's hand till it was cracking under the pressure and screaming all sorts of nastys at his spouse.

Outside the delivery room, the rest of the Varia, Iemitsu, Basil, Dino, and Xanxus's aunt, Timoteo's younger sister, Isabella sat in plastic chairs watching the TV, which was playing a soap opera. They could vaguely hear screaming in the distance, and it took no amount of brain power to guess who it was. Dino shifted nervously. Iemitsu coughed. Bel adjusted his tiara. Basil looked at the clock. One hour and thirty-two minutes.

"F******************!" Squalo screamed, four hours later. He stared at the ceiling, swearing in every language he knew, with every curse word he knew, damning Xanxus, the woman who spawned him, the people who spawned her, and the people who spawned them. The pushing didn't seem to get him far. Now in-between contractions, he had a moment's rest. The nurses were running around, babbling to each other. Shamal was grumbling in an annoyed fashion. Xanxus was trying to pry his nearly broken hand from Squalo's grip, and Timoteo was smiling behind his mask as he helped his son-in-law shift to a more comfortable position.

A sudden urge made his stomach grumble. "I want gelato," he announced to Xanxus, finally releasing the man's hand. "Go get me chocolate gelato."

No was what Xanxus wanted to say, but at a look from the two older males, he quickly got up and left to go find the elusive frozen treat.

"How he is?" Dino asked when he spotted Xanxus.

Xanxus ignored him in favor of asking a passing nurse where the chocolate gelato was. She pointed him in the direction of the nurses' kitchen and he hurried off.

"Apparently good, if he's asking for food," Iemitsu chuckled. "Nana kept asking for cuttlefish and plums."

Xanxus ran past them again as a crying started up in the delivery room. It wasn't a shrieking crying, like that of a newborn. The Varia quickly identified it as Squalo, who was probably upset by something or another.

Sure enough, when Xanxus sat back down and tried to give Squalo his damned gelato, the swordsman threw his arms around him, and cried. He only cried louder when the next contraction hit.

"I CAN'T F*ING DO THIS!" he screamed, about to tear the IV from his arm. Timoteo quickly held his hand steady. "I CAN'T I CAN'T I F*ING CAN'T! GOD, MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP!"

"And push," Shamal ordered as though his patient was in hysterics. "The baby is small; it should come out easier, despite your narrow pelvis. Push man, push!"

"I F*ING CAN'T!" He collapsed against Xanxus.

Twelve hours ticked by at a sluggish pace. At one point Squalo actually fell asleep during a lull in the contractions. By the time he woke up, the baby had pulled back a centimeter or two.

The next hour could be compared to torture, both for Xanxus, whose hand was breaking, and Squalo, who was attempting to birth a baby with a too small pelvis, and a too small cervix, and Shamal was only making it worse with his casual comments.

Finally, nineteen hours after the initial start, the baby was born, screaming into the world. Timoteo left to inform the others. "F*…" Squalo groaned, collapsing against a pillow. "I'm never doing that again."

* * *

Yami: :D That's what Squalo thinks...

Xanxus: -raises eyebrow-You aren't...

Yami: Yeah, probably not. But it's fun to say that and scare poor Squalo -points to the shark, who fainted upon hearing Yami's comment-

Kenshin: Yami-dono, that was mean.

Yami: STFU! GTFO!

Kenshin: O.O

Xanxus: XD R&R trash


	10. Stalker

Yami: Here's a second chapter for today. Reasons are A) The previous chapter is reaaaally short. B) I'm f*ing happy! and C) these two chapter go together.

Xanxus: I thought this one went with the other one.

Kenshin: Yeah...

Yami: Shut up Xanxie! Ken-kun, just say it.

Xanxus: O.O

Kenshin: O.O ummm, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Stalker**

Being part of the mafia sets you up for a lot of strange occurrences. The least of them, for Xanxus at least, was turning out to be gay. He had been shot, stabbed, frozen, beaten by a junior high kid, had his head busted open once, broken his nose and several other important bones, been sent ten years in the future for five minutes, had a floating baby-now floating teen-on his team, and those were the relevantly normal things! Okay, so Mammon and the trip to the future were a little unusual. When you are part of the Varia, the top assassin squad of the top mafia Family, the Vongola, you learn to expect weird and strange things.

Xanxus still freaked out when his lover informed him that he was pregnant. That was the one and only time the great Xanxus, the adoptive son of the Ninth Boss, wielder of the flames of wrath and dying will guns, ever fainted from anything less than a steel two by four smashing point black against his head, repeatedly, for three minutes. Such incident was what broke open his head that one time.

He woke up an hour later with his head in his lover's lap, the rest of the Varia, a doctor, and two nurses around him. The rest of the day was spent in quite contemplation about the news that he would be a father, and his second in command, Squalo, was the mother. That in itself would have been weird enough. But Squalo just had to make things three times weirder, and sat leaning against Xanxus while he did his contemplating, reading a book on babies and pregnancy. This lead to a series of questions best left out of this narration.

Moving on!!

Several months later the silver haired Varia assassin gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She came into the world screaming. "She sounds like Squalo," Dr. Shamal had said as he handed the squirming newborn to a nurse to be cleaned and weighed.

"She looks like that idiot," Squalo had said, indicating the near comatose Xanxus. Well comatose wasn't the word. He was standing there, staring at the baby in the nurse's hands. While his body remained still as a scarecrow that wasn't looking for a brain his eyes followed the child closely. "VOOOOI! You look like a stalker!"

Xanxus woke from the semi-comatose state long enough to tell his spouse where to go.

* * *

Yami: There you go. The title of the chapter is funny, but what the f* ever!

Xanxus: -raises eyebrow- are you that happy?

Yami: YES! I don't have to take the class again. And I got an A!!!!

Kenshin: O.O

Xanxus: O.O


	11. Father's Smile

Yami: Here's your chapter, you strange little yaoi freaks. Hey, has anyone ever just typed in Mpreg in the search bar and looked at all the mpreg stories? There's a f*ing shit load of them! I'm serious! But my favorites are probably "Why Do I Believe in Angels? Because I have three" by Lina Da Echidna. It's a really cute Mpreg story. And the other one is a Reporn-

Reborn: -pops up-HEY!

Yami: I mean, Reborn one, "A Deviation" by FroggyFran, that's a Xanxus/Squalo story too, and she does a much better job of getting Xanxus's character right.

Kenshin: You just look them up when you're bored?

Yami: -looks over and nods-yeah. Most of them have sex too :D

Reborn: You sick twisted child. Why was I called here?

Yami: To do the disclaimer!

Reborn: Don't own, don't sue or I'll kill you.

* * *

**Father's Smile**

Births, he discovered, were quite bloody. For all the blood and guts he'd seen. For all the people he'd killed by splattering their brains with a bullet, he still felt horribly squeamish when Dr. Shamal caught the baby before it hit the floor. Holding said newborn up, he pronounced her female, and held her in front of Xanxus so he could cut the umbilical cord. A nurse handed him a pair of scissors and put a clip on the cord so it didn't bleed.

It took a lot of effort to cut the cord. It was an odd spiritual moment for him. He was cutting the final physical attachment between mother and child. Doing so felt a little…mean. But at a few snide words from Squalo, he did cut the cord. The nurse ferried the screaming infant away to be washed and weighed. Xanxus watched. Squalo grumbled as he lay on the bed, winching at every few movements and complaining to Dr. Shamal about wanting more pain killers and that the man's hands were cold.

Another nurse appeared, blocking Xanxus's view of his daughter. He fell into a chair, spent. And he hadn't even been the one giving birth! Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes. Things felt very surreal. His lover, now wife, had just given birth to their first-Squalo swore last-child. A beautiful baby girl, who sounded perfectly healthy if the screaming was any indication.

"VOOOI!" Squalo exclaimed a few minutes later. "What are you doing to my baby!?" She was still crying loudly.

"Most babies don't like their first bath," said the first nurse, a motherly woman in her mid-fifties. Her face held several deep wrinkles, and her brown red was flecked with gray, but she moved with the grace of a much younger woman. "She'll calm down once she is in her mamma's arms."

Squalo smiled slightly. "Let Xanxus hold her first," he requested, relaxing against the pile of pillows behind him.

Xanxus was jolted out of his deep contemplation when the nurse walked over and offered him the baby. "Your daughter, sir." She smiled encouragingly when she noticed the horrified look upon the scarred man's face. "Hold her gently, you won't drop her." Carefully, with the skill gained from years of practice, she slid the screaming infant from her arms into her papà's. They had wrapped her in a pink blanket, encasing both arms and legs in the blanket's folds. She looked like a little pink worm.

The moment she had been settled in Xanxus's arms, her crying ceased. Her struggles did not. Whining softly, she struggled to free her arms. A little nervous, he nudged the blanket, loosening it enough so that she could move her arms. Tiny, pudgy arms shot out. Before he could pull his hand back, the two tiny hands grabbed hold of his index finger and held on tight. Xanxus jumped; eyes wide with alarm.

Squalo, watching from the bed, let out a sound that might have been a coo. The two nurses giggled and clapped their hands together. Even Dr. Shamal couldn't hold back a grin.

The baby slowly opened her eyes, and looked up at Xanxus, new born blue eyes latching onto his face. He had read the books. She couldn't see clearly yet and wouldn't for several weeks. But she could see his face, and probably see the red of his eyes. They continued to look at each other while around them the nurses began to clean up and Dr. Shamal double checked that Squalo's vitals were stable.

If anyone had asked him a year ago what his opinion of children, particularly babies was, he would tell them, with several rude words added, that he hated them. They were ugly, loud, smelly, and worthless. Sitting there holding the new born baby girl, Xanxus's opinion had drastically changed. She was beautiful. Her face was round and bright pink. Tuffs of silky soft black hair sat atop her head. Almond shaped eyes were slightly narrowed, promising to further narrow in future years. Right now her eyebrows were nothing more than tiny thin lines. A tiny nose that vaguely resembled Squalo's twitched as she breathed in her papà's unusual scent. She was a perfect mixture of parents.

"Xanxus," Squalo called after five minutes. "Can I hold her now or are you just going to stare at her?"

He blinked. She blinked. Slowly, her eyes drifted shut again, and she began to float away to dream land. Her grip on his finger loosened a little, but did not release.

"Xanxus!"

Xanxus looked up. And smiled.

* * *

Yami: Ha-ha, I made Xanxus smile! And not in a sinister OMFG IMA GONNA DIE NOW way.

Reborn: His smiles do have that effect on people.

Yami: I know, creepy right?

Reborn: Whatever, I have a student to go tor-I mean teach. R&R


	12. Worry or insert baby

Yami: As some people have asked, what is the child's name? I thought long and hard about it...

Xanxus: She means five seconds.

Yami: And after much careful consideration.

Squalo: Vooii! You f*ing liar!

Yami: I have decided on this!

Kenshin:...I think she wants you to read the chapter -sweat drops- anyways, don't sue, don't own, and Yami-dono has thrown out another question.

**QUESTION**: Why do you think I named the baby the name I gave her?

* * *

**Worry** or... **Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola**

"Shit," Squalo groaned. He had wanted to start training after the baby was out. He wanted to beat Bel to a pulp for all the annoying things he did during the pregnancy. He wanted to fight; he wanted to go out on missions. Hell! He was willing to just do the f*ing laundry, as long as it was something!

Instead he was stuck in bed. Three days after the birth and he was still in pain. His whole body hurt, muscles tried from the nineteen hours spent tensed. His insides were rearranging themselves back to their previous positions, and god help his chest. Actually breasts I guess you could say, since that was the area that hurt despite the shark's complete lack of anything that could be considered boobs.

When Squalo had complained about it, Xanxus had laughed and said he wouldn't have married him if he had boobs. "Of course, lets completely ignore the fact that you have a whole set of female reproductive organs and are capable of giving birth. You lack the outward signs, I'm fine with that."

Squalo had thrown the hot bowl of soup at him, and screamed at him till he ran from the room with his arms over his head. Furious, the swordsman leaned back against the pillows and looked at the nests of blankets next to him. A tender look overcame his face. Reaching out, he gently caressed his daughter's cheek. Turning towards his touch, her tiny fists grabbed hold of his finger and popped it into her mouth. He laughed softly.

She was beautiful. Soft black hair, and light skin, with the cutest little nose, and the more adorable eyes that were growing lighter and more silver with each day. He loved her. Despite all the problems she had put him through, despite the pain, and trauma, he loved her; his angel, Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola.

Her. The single gender defining word scared him. He hadn't had much dealing with those of the female gender since he was very young. Once his grandmother died, the only people he had associated with were males. Strong, brutal, murderous, savage men. Guys were easy to deal with. Squalo had hoped for a boy simply because he would know how to handle him.

But girls were different. They were more emotional. Their needs were different. And even the strongest mafia women had their weaknesses that were so easy to exploit. They needed constant attention, and a gentle touch. And worse, when they got older you had to explain things like sex to them, and pray that they didn't do something stupid and get pregnant. The very thought of what was to come scared the new mother so much. More so than when the shark had bitten into him, more than when he had seen Xanxus frozen in the ice-though they were a very close second and third. He knew guys, he was raised male. He didn't know females. The uncertainty scared him.

Xiana finally released his finger and let out a whine. Leaning over, he plucked her from her nest and settled her in his arms. He had barely pulled his shirt away when she began the nurse, her little fists resting against his chest. It felt weird. Not arousing like when Xanxus did this-though he had yet to get a mouthful of milk while doing it-just plan weird. He had complained to Rosalina, who told him he would get used to it.

Twenty minutes later, with a little burp and much cleaning of a milky face, Squalo rocked her back and forth gently, singing the song his mother and grandmother had sung to him.

"Più guardo qui, intorno a me  
Più mi vien voglia di cambiare  
Non sento più, la frenesia  
Ho solo voglia di giocare  
La vecchia via, io lascerò  
Indietro no, non tornerò  
Crederei a tutto se  
non ci fossi tu  
Ora so che tu esisti,  
dubbi non ho più  
Ti amo ti amo"

The door opened and Xanxus cautiously looked in. Upon seeing his wife busy rocking their daughter to sleep, he felt it was safe enough to enter, which he did. Placing himself on the bed next to Squalo, he reached out and gently caressed Xiana's little face. She let out the smallest sigh, the cutest yawn.

"Senza chiedere, amo  
Crederei a tutto se  
non ci fossi tu  
Ora so che tu esisti,  
dubbi non ho più  
Ti amo."

Finally asleep, Squalo gently laid Xiana back in her nest of blankets and covered her in her favorite blanket. Sitting back, he leaned against Xanxus, eyes closed. "Vooii. What are we going to do?" he asked softly.

"F* up," Xanxus suggested honestly.

"Not helping, you f*er."

"At least I'm being realistic," grumbled Xanxus. Squalo punched him in the side. With a grunt, he responded by slapping his 'wife's' sore ass and smirked when the man clapped his hands over his mouth to contain a yelp. Squalo was still _very_ sore down there. "We'll figure something out," he finally said, looking down at the little angel.

"Hopefully," mumbled Squalo. He yawned.

A peaceful silence descended upon the new family. Xiana slept soundly with her mamma about to join her…till her papà commented off handedly, "Did you know you sound like a girl when you sing?"

"VOOII! GO F* YOURSELF!"

It was a miracle Xiana slept on.

* * *

Yami: Because Xanxus is an ass and doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

Xanxus: I thought that was Squalo.

Yami: Sweetie, it's both of you.

Kenshin: The song used here is from Road to El Dorado, Without Question.

Yami: I thought it worked as a lullaby when sung a little slower and softer, plus the words were nice...and I didn't know what else to use XD I got the Italian translation of it because...well Squalo's Italian, and so was his mother, grandmother, great grandmother, great great grandmother, great great great grandmother, great great great great grandmother, great great-

Squalo: THEY F*ING GET IT ALREADY! I'M F*ING ITALIAN!

Yami: Really? I hadn't noticed.

Squalo: -miffed- my family goes all the way back to the Dark Ages.

Yami: XD Lol, Squalo's from the dark ages.

Squalo: F* OFF!

Kenshin and Xanxus: -watching Yami and Squalo fight-R&R everyone.


	13. Crying

Yami: Wow, this update almost didn't happen.

Squalo: Why?

Kenshin: Yami-dono and her sisters were stuck at a friend's house due to the rain.

Yami: Yeah, so that means be greatful I managed to get us a ride home in time for this update!

Squalo: Whatever, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Crying**

Crying. Xanxus quickly learned that when you have a new baby in the house, you will spend most of your time with ear plugs in your ears or face a nasty headache later. He had gone through ten pairs in the last two weeks alone just trying to find the perfect ones. The other Varia tended to avoid whatever room contained the screaming baby, and whenever they couldn't, also brought ear plugs.

The only two in the Varia that seemed immune to the horrible shrieking of the newborn was Squalo and Lussuria. Squalo was expected. He was Xiana's mamma. Mammas got a free pass in tolerating their baby's cries. That was probably a good thing, since Squalo was the one who always had to deal with the baby when she cried.

Why Lussuria was impervious was anyone's guess. Bel said it was because he was so gay. Levi called him a fruit. Mammon suggested it had something to do with the ridiculous hair style. Xanxus was of the impression it was just because Lussuria was so much like a girl that he could take it. The maids that cleaned the mansion never seemed bothered by the crying, though the younger ones that didn't have children yet did get irritated after several hours of crying. The ones who were mothers just continued working as if nothing was wrong.

One particular maid who was in charge of the kitchens had taken a liking to Squalo when he was pregnant, and now felt it was her sworn duty to help the new mother deal with his baby. Rosalina was in her late twenties, though gray was appearing prematurely in her dirty blonde hair. Her green eyes-proof of her Irish heritage-always seemed to laugh. She had five kids of her own. The first batch had been triplets, and she had them when she was barely legal at twenty-one. As such, she knew a thing or two about babies and mammas.

Squalo had been pretty emotional-and hormonal- when he was pregnant. Most hormones he hadn't encountered much during his life except two or three days a month. As such, no one really knew how to handle the assassin when he had burst into tears over seemingly nothing, or started throwing anything within reach at offenders. It had been during these times Rosalina had removed Squalo from outside influences, and forced him to drink cup after cup of lavender tea. Everyone had hoped that after the baby was born these random bursts of emotions would stop. They didn't. "Not for awhile," Rosalina told them after Squalo had thrown a knife at Bel for complaining about Xiana's endless crying and telling the young mother to do something about it.

Today was no different. Xiana had been crying for an hour now. Squalo had tried everything, from offering her favorite pacifier, blanket, and a wide variety of toys, to singing to her while rocking her. Nothing worked. After an hour of it, Bel was complaining loudly. Mammon made his opinions obvious as well. Xanxus had locked his office door and was sitting in it with the stereo turned up, and ear plugs in his ears. Levi kept glaring daggers at the screaming infant whenever he passed. Lussuria had even grown tired of the crying and left in search of advice from the older maids. Finally, when Bel made one more demand that the child be silenced by order of the prince, Squalo snapped. Grabbing the nearest object-a baby rattle-he chucked it as hard as he could at Bel.

"VOOOOOOOI! SHUT UP!" he roared. "I'LL KI-KILL Y-YOU!" Collapsing into the nearest chair Squalo began to wail as well. Bel hurried away in search of Rosalina leaving Mammon to try to calm the shark down.

Five minutes later, the prince returned with Rosalina, who quickly stole Xiana from Squalo's arms and placed her in Bel's. "Hold her," she ordered, pulling a handkerchief from a pocket and dabbing at Squalo's face with it. "Come now Master Squalo, this won't do. You're upsetting Mistress Xiana. Where is Master Xanxus?"

Squalo's reply was a mess of discombobulated words, curses, and sobs making a translation impossible. She looked to the other two in the room. Bel was holding the wailing infant as far out as he could without dropping her. "He locked himself in his office," Mammon told her, having to yell to make himself heard.

"That won't do," said Rosalina, standing up. She snatched Xiana from Bel, and pulled Squalo to his feet. "Come now, let's go settle things." She marched away. Bel and Mammon followed curiously. Four hallways and six turns later, they were in front of Xanxus's office. The kitchen maid was pounding on the heavy oak door, shouting at the top of her lungs. Music blasted from speaker so loud that she couldn't hear herself think. "MASTER XANXUS! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" When calling out to him didn't work she turned to Mammon. "Master Mammon, please get him to unlock the door." The teen nodded.

The minutes ticked by. Three minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, the music was apparently cut off. Three minutes and forty-two seconds later, the lock clicked and the door opened. Xanxus looked at them all, glaring. He raised an eyebrow when his eyes fell on his sobbing spouse and daughter. He didn't need Rosalina's glare to tell him he'd better deal with this problem. Accepting his daughter from the maid, he grabbed Squalo and pulled him into the room. The door slammed shut and the lock slid into place. Rosalina left to make tea. Bel sulked away to find someone else to annoy, Mammon following him.

When Rosalina returned thirty minutes later with a tray of tea and snacks the door to the office was unlocked and it was mostly quiet inside the room. Knocking, she received the okay and entered. Xanxus was reclining in a large comfy arm chair, Squalo fast asleep in his lap, Xiana sound asleep in Squalo's arms. With a smile, she placed the tea tray on the desk and left.

The best cure for crying is to cuddle up with a loved one and nap.

* * *

Squalo: This doesn't seem fair to me -holding baby Xiana-

Yami: Xanxus is a pretencious prick, who doesn't know how to handle a baby. Get used to it.

Xanxus: -glare- I resent those words.

Yami: You may resent them, but they are the truth, so everyone R&R!!!!


	14. Spontanious Combustion

Yami sorry it took so long peeps, but we have an English project due tomorrow, had to make Egyptian cake and pita bread, and then we helped our mom make our abba-Egyptian women's clothes back in the old day-and it took all day!

Xanxus: I think you spelled that wrong.

Yami: WHAT DO YOU KNOW! SHUT UP! -attacks Xanxus-

Squalo: While those two are fighting, we'll answer a question posed before. Xiana's b-day is November 5.

Kenshin: and also Yami-dono doesn't own this, so please don't sue.

* * *

**Spontaneous Combustion**

The crying had filled the house for hours now. Bel had long since stopped complaining. Levi was thankfully on a mission. If he had been home, he would have probably tried to suffocate the child by now. He hated her, and she him. Lussuria was outside helping Squalo hang the laundry. Neither could hear the screaming. Mammon had long ago sound proofed his room.

The mansion was otherwise empty. At least the Varia side was. The main house was filled with people, all still celebrating the ninth's first grandchild. When a new child is born into a mafia Family to the son of the current boss, the Family spends weeks in celebration. Well, either weeks, or less, depends how long the alcohol lasted.

Okay, I lied. There was one more person. Sitting in the same room as the screaming infant, wondering vaguely if it was possible to go deaf from all the crying. In a little basket next to his desk, nestled in a nest of blankets, was Xiana. At two weeks old, the Varia Princess-as she was now known-Xiana Arianna Vongola was in one word: loud. Like her mother.

"VOOOI!" was her mother's signature phrase.

"VAI! VAI! VAI!" was Xiana's signature cry.

To say that Xanxus wasn't happy about that was the understatement of the century. Especially now since he was the one listening to it while his 'wife' was outside doing the bloody laundry!

"VAAAI! VAI! VAAAAAI!"

And what was worse…

"VAAAAAAAAI!"

She was hungry.

"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!"

The explosion was small. The damage minimal. Squalo or Lussuria would have to repair the blankets again though. And they would need a new basket. Now Xiana lay on the floor in a mess of singed blankets, and whatever the hell the basket had been made of. The flames still engulfed her tiny, pudgy hands.

Grumbling obscenities that would get him yelled at if Squalo heard him, Xanxus leaned over and scooped his daughter off the floor. His clothes were mostly burn proof. He wrapped her in his jacket incase she decided to spontaneously combust again. She had a bad habit of doing so when she was left hungry for more than five minutes.

"She has your horrible temper," Squalo had said the other day as he brushed ash from his face. "And your pickiness when it comes to food. I haven't had curry in days!"

Why Squalo would even want curry was a mystery to Xanxus. He had hated the stuff during his pregnancy.

Just another mystery he was left to deal with.

"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!"

BANG!

He coughed, and rubbed the ash from his eyes.

Screw the mystery, he thought as he got up. Where's my f*ing wife?

"SQUUUUAAAAALLLOOOOOO!"

"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!"

Ah, the sweet sounds of a happy family.

* * *

Xanxus: Why is it always me?

Yami: Because you are fun to torture.

Xanxus: I don't even get sex in here!

Yami: Untrue, I spent yesturday writing the next lemon chapter. I think it is much better than the first. If any of you little pervert want to read a good smut story, read "Want Me" by: Ashinan I spent all of the previous day rereading the chapters so I could write a better lemon, so when it comes up, you all better be greatful!

Hikari: Her face was soooooooooo read! And she freaked when mom stuck her head in the room XD

Yami: SHUT THE F* UP! -attacks Hikari-

Kenshin: R&R everyone!


	15. Peekaboo

Hikari/Yami/Toitsu: -dancing around-WE GOT A HUUUUDRED! WE GOT A HUUUUUUUDRED!

Kenshin: Yami-dono and her sisters got a hundred on their English project and also found out they can excempt 6 out of seven of their final exam classes. Math class is still in limbo right now. So they are very happy.

Yami: So you people who had a sucky day get an extra chapter!!!!!!!

All three: DON'T OWN DON'T SUUUUUUUUUUUUE!

* * *

**Peek-A-Boo**

"Peek-a-boo!"

A shriek.

"Peek-a-boo!"

Giggling.

"Peek-a-boo!"

Laughing.

"Peek-a…"

"Squalo please stop," Mammon requested with only the barest hint of annoyance in his voice. The Varia was currently gathered in the main living room. The TV was on, featuring a relevantly bloodless episode of CSI. Mammon was going over his expenses. Bel, lounging on a sofa, was watching the TV. Levi was busy trying to fix one of his umbrellas that had broken. Xanxus was sitting in his favorite Laz-E boy arm chair, watching his family who were both on the ground. At three weeks, Xiana was finally able to lift her head when she was on her tummy. Squalo, who had read every book he could on child care, was flat on his stomach, playing peek-a-boo with their daughter. Lussuria sat close by, taping the event for future generations and/or black mail.

"Vooooi! Go to hell! I'm getting her to lift her head up," snapped Squalo. "It helps her muscles grow strong." He said this last part with an air of snootiness most unlike the silver haired assassin. Content to ignore Mammon, Squalo went back to playing peek-a-boo with his three week old daughter.

Amidst Levi finally fixing his damn umbrella, Sarah having a breakdown, and Mammon finally putting away his expenses, the door opened. The Ninth Vongola boss Timoteo walked in. He smiled upon spotting his son-in-law playing with his favorite-and only-granddaughter. "Hello everyone, I hope your day has been good."

There were scattered and varied replies. The only one that can be considered positive came from Xiana. Now able to recognize the major voices in her life: mamma, papà, grandpa, Lussuria, and Rosalina; she quickly greeted the old man's voice with a loud laugh that sent her pacifier tumbling out of her mouth. Squalo caught it. Popping it back into the baby's mouth, he sat up, pulling his daughter into his arms. "Want to hold her?" He offered the squirming infant to her grandfather, who happily took her. Upon being settled in his arms, Xiana grabbed hold of the old man's tie, and contented herself with tugging at it.

"What do you want?" Xanxus demanded once the Ninth had taken a seat.

Timoteo looked at his son, putting on an innocent expression. "Do I need an excuse to see my son and his family?"

"Yes," came the blunt response.

Timoteo rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Yes, there is something now that you mention it." He paused to adjust Xiana so that she more comfortably cradled in his arms. "Tsunayoshi and his guardians are coming here for Christmas. Just thought I'd warn you."

Everyone stared at Timoteo as though he were insane. Which he probably was. "What?" Xanxus finally spluttered. "You…you invited that…that BRAT over here!?"

"Well why not? It's a good idea he see what he should expect in a few years. Besides, you all need to learn to get along."

Xanxus let out a derisive laugh, stood up, and stormed away.

Everyone else sighed.

"VAI!" shrieked Xiana, apparently amused by the situation.

* * *

All three: -still dancing-

Kenshin:-sweatdrops- R&R


	16. Camera

Yami/Hikari/Toitsu: -STILL dancing around-

Kenshin: ummm....don't own don't sue...and enjoy your extra chapter...

* * *

**Camera**

The camera flashed. Xanxus scowled. The half empty-or half full-glass shattered against the unfortunate photographer's forehead. Lussuria hit the ground with a loud crash. He lay there twitching, much to the amusement of everyone else in the room. A high pitched shriek sounded, soon followed by much lower pitched laughing.

"VOOOI! Serves you right," Squalo cackled, stealing the camera from the almost unconscious martial artist and snapping a very unflattering picture.

"But it was such a cute picture!" cried Lussuria once he had regained his senses several minutes later. "How often do we actually see Boss playing with Xiana!?"

The term 'playing' was used very loosely in this situation. Xiana, barely a month old, was lying in her papa's arms, his thumb in her mouth. She had previously been sucking her own thumb but Xanxus pulled it out-worrying over her possible need for braces in the future no doubt. Whining, she had popped her other thumb in. He pulled that one out. She had bitten-or would have if she had teeth-his thumb, and clamped both tiny hands around his. Squalo, laughing, had informed him he was fighting a loosing battle.

"It's either the thumb or a pacifier, take your pick."

So, he was left cradling the infant till she was either hungry or fell asleep.

"I got to admit, it is cute," Squalo mumbled to himself, lifted the camera to his eyes. "Vooooi! Xanxus, smile!"

Click!

Squalo scowled. "You're not supposed to flick the camera off!"

Lussuria sighed dramatically. "Why doesn't he get anything thrown at him?"

Xanxus smirked. "Because he's her mamma." He indicated Xiana, who was still sucking on his thumb. "And he is her portable bottle. If he gets knocked out, we get to listen to her screaming till he wakes up."

Speaking of food…

Xiana blinked, as though the word had reminded her she was hungry. Releasing her father's captive thumb, she took in a deep breath, and screamed. Xanxus held her out just incase she decided that spontaneously combusting would be fun.

"Wife!"

"I hear her," Squalo growled, getting up. He swept his daughter out of her papà's arms. Landing in his favorite spinning, rocking Laz-E boy armchair, Squalo turned it away from the others. A moment later, Xiana fell silent. "Voooi! Take that! I can get her quiet in less than a minute."

Bel mumbled something under his breath. Lavi growled. Lussuria smiled and cooed. Xanxus rolled his eyes. Oddly enough, it was Mammon who said, "That's because you have breast milk, which she likes. If you didn't have that, you wouldn't have any advantage."

"F**k off!"

* * *

All three: -drinking sparkling apple cider now-

Kenshin: This one fears they will get drunk off that stuff, excuse me...and R&R


	17. Add In Bath Time

Yami: Yeah add in chapter! This one popped into my head a little bit ago, but I just wrote it yesturday along with two or three other chapters. T-T my haaaaands huuuuuurt.

Kenshin: And there Yami-dono goes complaining again.

Yami: DX SHUT UP!

Kenshin: O.o don't own don't sue -carefully leaves-

* * *

**Bath Time **

Squalo often wondered at what point humans evolved enough to wash their children in water instead of with their tongues like animals do. Mainly he wondered this as he attempted to bath his own off spring in the kitchen sink. At two months, she was still much too small to wash in the bath tub, and the sink was just high enough so Squalo didn't have to lean over or sit on his knees.

That didn't mean she liked bath time though. Everyone always vacated the area whenever it was bath time. As the book had suggested, a bed time ritual would help later on, so Squalo gave her a bath every night after her final feeding, though most times it was just a quick wash to clean her up after her messy feeding. She wanted to nurse with her thumb in her mouth, which did _not_ work and caused both baby and mother to get messy.

So here the two were standing in the kitchen, which echoed with the baby's incessant screaming. And poor Squalo was trying to avoid being splashed too much as his daughter slapped the water she was submerged in up to her belly button.

"Vooii, come on, it's not that bad," Squalo said, almost begging. "It's just water!"

But Xiana continued to cry.

Sighing, the shark leaned in closer, bringing the wash cloth up to wipe at her milk splattered face. "Avrai forza per lottare. Sarai saggio per decidere. Quando il tuo momento arriverà…"

Xiana fell silent, blinking up at her mother.

"Perchè è in questo tuo vagare. Che risposte troverai. Sarai tu sulla montagna. E tu che in cima andrai."

She let out a happy gurgle, and grabbed a few loose stands of her mamma's silver hair.

"Figlio di chi è padre ormai. Libero camminerai. E quando un padre tu sarai. In tuo figlio un padre scoprirai."

Heads appeared at the entrance of the kitchen, awe etched on their faces.

"E anche se sarai da solo. I dubbi vincerai. E' di sola andata il viaggio. Da ragazzo un uomo sarai. Figlio di chi è padre ormai. Libero camminerai. E quando un padre tu sarai. In tuo figlio un padre scoprirai."

Carefully, he lifted Xiana from the sink and wrapped her in a warm fluffy towel, still singing. He hadn't noticed his extra audience yet, too focused on the happy expression dancing in his daughter's silver eyes.

"Imparerai insegnando. E imparando insegnerai. Finchè l'amore un giorno incontrerai. Tutti i sogni che hai sognato. E le tue fantasie. Non per molto lo saranno. Questo tempo vola via."

Smirking, one of the watchers held out a hand, accepting wads of cash from the other watchers, all of whom grumbled as they handed over the money.

"Figlio di chi è padre ormai. Libero camminerai. E quando un padre tu sarai. In tuo figlio un padre scoprirai. E tuo figlio. E tuo figlio è padre già da un po'."

Squalo ended the song, smiling down at Xiana who was now wearing her diaper and her rose patterned pajamas. "See? Bath time isn't so bad?"

Xiana let out a gurgle that sounded almost like a giggle.

From the door way, applause broke out. Squalo whipped around and turned brick red upon seeing most of the occupants of the Varia wing standing there. In front was Xanxus, who was smirking.

"You still sound like a girl when you sing."

"VOOOIIII!!! GO F* YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Everyone ran as knives began to fly towards the door.

Xiana cooed and let out a cute yawn, before tugging at her mamma's hair, demanding her bed time story. She wished to know if Eragon made it through the battle alive.

* * *

Yami: Once again, another Disney song in Italian. This one is "Son of Man" by Phil Colins from Tarzan. XD Squalo's mamma and grandma forced him to watch Disney as a child!

Squalo: And you're having me read her Eragon why?

Yami: Cause it's awesome!! XD

Squalo: -sighs- whatever, R&R


	18. Stormy Night

Yami: Once again, I am in a f*ing good mood. I have the news that I can excempt 6/7 classes, and I'll know tomorrow if I can excempt them all, so...first the fluff chapter, the next one will be puuuuure smut :D for all you little pervs out there.

Kenshin: O.o oro, you mean sex?

Squalo: Yes you f*ing twit, she means sex!

Yami: -evil grin- let the games begin!

Squalo: she doesn't own a f*ing thing, so don't sue her.

* * *

**Stormy Night**

The night was cold. Rain pelted the roof, and the windows rattled as hail and wind bashed against them. The storm had begun earlier in the day with light rain, but by nightfall, it had worsened to its current intensity. Most everyone was asleep. The Ninth was still up; doing the final bits of paper work that was for ordering a special present for his beloved granddaughter.

In the Varia portion of the mansion Squalo was up, bending over a black crib. Lying in the center of a nest of blankets and stuff animals was Xiana, screaming. Large salty tears spilled out of her eyes, shut tight to block out the scary shadows cast by the frequent lightning. She seemed completely oblivious to her mother's desperate attempts to gain her attention. Flames began to appear around her tiny fists.

Squalo swore under his breath as the flames began to form. Normally, the flames only manifested when Xiana was kept hungry for too long. But this was her first dealing with nature's storms. It was a bad one so her reaction could only be expected. Reaching in, he picked up his month old daughter, making sure to wrap her baby blanket around her. The Ninth's sister, Xanxus's aunt, had made a beautiful soft red and black blanket with silk blue satin edges. Xiana adored the blanket. It was one of the few things that comforted her when she was scared.

The silver haired swordsman left the nursery, gently bouncing the wailing infant as he went. Less than a minute later he was kicking the door to his room shut. On the bed Xanxus lay, propped up on his elbow. One eye was closed, the other only half open. "Wha's wrong?" he inquired, barely containing a yawn.

"The storm woke her," Squalo replied. He crawled onto the bed and quickly slipped under the covers. Once comfortably situated, he returned his attention to the sobbing Varia princess. Her tears had increased in quality and quantity during the short walk from one room to the other. The flames now completely engulfed her hands, and had spread up her arms. Any flesh they touched turned bright red and poor Squalo wasn't wearing a shirt. "It would nice if she was just hungry, then she'd be easy to calm down."

Grumbling incoherent words, Xanxus laid back down. He reached over and dragged Squalo down as well. Now squished between her mamma and papà, Xiana's tears began to wane. When her mamma started humming and her papà's large, callused, gentle hand began smoothing the little bit of hair atop her head, she stopped sobbing all together except for the occasion hiccup or water sniff. The dying will flames diminished to nothing.

"Didn't take much to shut her up," Xanxus commented a few minutes later. Xiana, once she had calmed down, realized how hungry she was. Without waiting for an invitation she had latched on to her mamma, and began to drink. Xanxus smirked, Squalo glared, commenting on how she got her horrible manners from Xanxus.

A quarter of an hour later, Xiana, burped and changed, was fast asleep, lying between her mamma and papà. Outside, the storm continued to rage. Inside, Xiana, Squalo, nor Xanxus cared. They were all fast asleep.

* * *

Yami: There you go, fluff. Next chapter is M rated so no one who isn't over 18 should read it.

Squalo: You were reading yaoi when you were 15.

Yami: LIES! -shocks Squalo with a cattle prod-

Squalo: THE F* IS THAT FOR!?

Yami: For getting the boys in my Libary assistant class to work -evil laugh-

Squalo: What the f* ever. R&R shitfaces.

Yami: SQUALO! -shocks-


	19. Almost

Yami: Here's the second chapter, and I must say, I am getting way better at sex scenes. I spent two hours writing this, rereading several chapters of "Want Me" by Ashinan. If you want a good smut story with a funny and twisted plot, read that!

Squalo: Have you no shame?

Yami: I sold it on Ebay, now on with the chapter!

Kenshin: Yami-dono doesn't own so don't sue.

* * *

**Almost**

Squalo exhaled slowly as he spun around, swinging his sword in a complicated arch movement that cut the air. Spinning around, he sliced at a dummy, decapitating it seamlessly. As the head bounced away, he turned and cut through a second and third dummy at the same time. Sliding back into his starting position, he exhaled again, and unbelted the sword from his arm. He caught it before it hit the floor and set it up against the wall. Returning to the center of the room, he moved into a martial arts position to begin his work down.

About this time, Xanxus was walking in, holding several reports in his hand. "Squalo, I…" He stopped, staring. The swordsman's eyes were closed, body moving in complicated motions like a fish through water. Sweat upon his skin made him almost sparkle in the odd lighting of the dojo. Without thinking, Xanxus dropped the reports, pulled off his jacket, and dived at Squalo.

A hand raised up in defense and with a speed quicker than Xanxus had expected, effectively blocking him and giving Squalo to opportunity to get around him. Growling, Xanxus lashed out again, attempting a round house kick. Squalo dropped to the floor and knocked Xanxus's feet out from under him. Before Xanxus could recover Squalo had saddled his waist and was smirking down at him, hands wrapped loosely around his neck.

"Want to try that again?" Squalo inquired a slight purr to his voice. He could feel the tight coil of heat in his lower stomach, and Xanxus's blood pulsing faster. He was dead tired and had only meant to spend an hour training before getting back to Xiana, but if the man could make it worth his while, he'd postpone his return.

"F*," Xanxus groaned, though it sounded more like a moan, before reaching up and pulling Squalo down. Their lips crashed together, and Squalo was quick to open his mouth, letting Xanxus slip his tongue in. The hands that had been around his neck slipped away to tangle themselves in the ebony hair, pulling Xanxus closer so the kiss deepened.

An eep sounded in Squalo's throat when he was suddenly slammed into the cold floor. Arching his back to keep it from the cold surface, he pressed closer to Xanxus. Heat pulsed from the man on top of him, and the weight against his lower extremities was making him squirm, but the more he did it, the more weight appeared.

Xanxus pulled away with an almost audible pop, before beginning to nip and kiss at Squalo's neck. One hand found its way behind the swordsman and was cupping his ass, keeping the two as close as possible in that area.

"F*," Squalo cried when Xanxus bit down on a sensitive part of his neck, sending waves of pleasure and pain through his body.

"Stop moving," Xanxus suddenly growled, "Unless you want me to f* you on the floor."

A playful smirk appeared on Squalo's face. "Try me." He had about two seconds to regret his words before he found himself missing his shirt and Xanxus's talented tongue trailing a path down from his collar bone, stopping every few inches to kiss and bite the heated skin. His hands were busy removing the shark's pants. "Wa-wait, Xa-AH!" His protests were cut short when he was carelessly flipped onto his stomach, pants and boxers now bunched around his knees. "S-s-stop!"

Leaning forward, Xanxus grabbed hold of the shark's excited member, smirking when he received a horse cry. Teasingly, he said, "You asked for it." Blearily, Squalo turned his head, lips connecting with Xanxus's again. His nails scrapped the floor as Xanxus began to pump. He couldn't breath through the moans and cries coming from his throat, and Xanxus certainly wasn't about to give him a break.

He heard a dark chuckle and a husky voice breathing hot air next to his ear, "You sound like a bitch in heat. What happened to you wanting to stop?"

Squalo didn't reply. He could barely get a coherent thought to stay in his head for more than a few seconds, let alone speak. The feeling of Xanxus's hand on his erection and the man's own leather clad erection rubbing up against his was too much.

The hand suddenly vanished. Squalo keened at the loose till he heard a pop of a button being undone. "Now hold still," Xanxus's voice panted, as he leaned back over the swordsman, finger placed at his entrance.

Normally, it would have continued from here, because by this time, Squalo would be complete goo in Xanxus's hands, to be molded and played with as the Varia leader saw fit. However, that was before the baby…

A high pitched wailing sounded through the halls. The next seconds, Xanxus found himself lying on his back on the cold dojo floor while Squalo hurriedly replaced his pants. Before he could make a move to get up, the shark was gone. "F*!!!!!" Xanxus panted. No one heard him. Getting up, he went off to take a cold shower.

He found Squalo in their room, nursing Xiana. Squalo's face was still flushed red, though now he wore a gentle, calm expression, eyes fixed on the infant cradled lovingly in his arms. Xanxus took one look at the scene-and Squalo's lack of a shirt-before turning and going into the adjoining bathroom. The sound of the shower and a loud exclamation of, "F*!" echoed from the room a moment later.

Squalo laughed, upsetting Xiana from her meal. She coughed, milk spilling from her mouth. Her mamma spent the next ten minutes panicking and calming her down.

* * *

Yami: XD I'm so damn evil aren't I? Sooooo close to getting laid...and Xiana cries. Truth is, most couples don't feel like having sex till at least the second month or later. But Xanxus and Squalo are both healthy men, and what men love as much as they love food is sex. :D

Squalo/Xanxus/Kenshin: AMEN!

Yami: O.o KEN-KUN! You aren't supposed to admit to that! You're the innocent one!!!!

Kenshin: errr...-sweat-drops-

Xanxus: R&R trash, and be grateful for this chapter -is upset he didn't get sex-


	20. Greetings and Smiles

Yami: -sighs-

Kenshin: Yami-dono?

Yaim: -sighs again-

Squalo: She has to take her government and possibly her math final. You know she sucks at pre-cal.

Kenshin: O. Well...does she want us to talk or just do the disclaimer?

Xanxus: Just the disclaimer.

Kenshin: Okay, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Greetings and Smiles**

Xanxus looked down at Tsuna. Tsuna stared up at him, obviously trying not to look scared. He raised an eyebrow. Tsuna straitened up. Behind the Varia leader, his men stood in formation, Squalo to his right, Bel to his left, and the rest in back. Tsuna's guardians were in the same formation, Gokudera on his right, Yamamoto on his left. The only people who didn't seem tense were Nana, who was smiling at the group before her, and the girls, whose expressions mirrored the mother.

Finally, Tsuna stuttered out a, "H-hello Xanxus."

Xanxus smirked. Two years and the kid was still a brat. But at least he was able to stand up to the man that had previously sent him running. He vaguely wondered if the kid actually had balls or just developed a backbone.

Opening his mouth to reply, a crying interrupted him. Glancing back at Squalo, he jerked his head. Squalo left at a run. The brats-for Xanxus would always call them that-traded confused glances. "Let's go to the living room," ordered the black haired leader. Without waiting, he turned and led the large group past many doors and hallways to the central living room. Nana, Iemitsu, and Timoteo settled in a corner to chat. Rosalina appeared with a cart piled high with tea and snacks. Haru, Hana, Bianchi, and Kyoko happily started up a chat with the maid. Tsuna and his guardians sat tensely, trying to calm down enough to talk to their corresponding Varia.

Tsuna cleared his throat nervously. "S-so, how are you Xanxus?"

The smirk on Xanxus's face didn't make him feel any better, even less so when the scarred man snorted. "Stop trying to be polite brat."

"S-sorry!"

Reborn looked over from where he was talking to Mammon. "Dame-Tsuna, act like a man, you…" He stopped. All the guests had fallen silence, staring in shock as the door opened and Squalo hurried in, a baby in his arms. There was an excited gleam in his eyes as he quickly made his way over to Xanxus.

"VOOOOI! She smiled!" he exclaimed. He stopped and settled on the arm of Xanxus's chair. "Look. Baby," he called in a coo of a voice, "say hi to papà."

For a second nothing, than with a shriek of laughter, Xiana smiled toothlessly up at Xanxus, whose eyes widened. The look melted away and a smile replaced it. "Took her long enough." He got a smack on the back of the head for his comment.

The other Varia gathered around the princess. Everyone but Levi was smiling. Lussuria had pulled a camera out of nowhere and was taping Xiana's first smiles.

"W-w-w-what's that?" Gokudera demanded his stutter worse than Tsuna's.

The Varia members smirked. Even the ninth couldn't hold back a snort.

"This," Squalo said slowly, pointing to Xiana, "is a baby. A little human."

"I KNOW THAT!" Gokudera shouted before anyone could stop him. This proved a mistake, as Xiana let out a wail, and began to cry. Disapproving looks from the women, and annoyed ones from were directed at the bomb wielding guardian. "Sorry," he grumbled while Squalo attempted to calm the babe. "I meant who is she?"

"She's so cute," Nana cooed. "Mind if I hold her?"

Squalo shrugged and handed the crying child over. He watched, amazed, as Nana expertly rocked and bounced Xiana till her crying had stopped, replaced by laughter. Nana smiled. Iemitsu grinned. The girls cooed. "Oh, it's just like with Tsuna all over again, he was such a fussy baby," Nana sighed, a reminiscent smile on her face. She handed the Varia princess back to Squalo. "There sweetie."

"Thanks," Squalo said, still a little stunned at how easy the woman had made it look.

Nana smiled sweetly. "Happy to help. We girls have to stick together, right?"

It took a lot of effort to keep from laughing. Everyone who knew had to turn away, covering their laughter as coughs.

"Er…thanks," Squalo mumbled.

"No problem."

* * *

Yami: -is still huddled in a corner, sighing-

Squalo: Shoud we snap her out of it?

Xanxus: F* no! She didn't let me f* you in the last chapter. The bitch can rot!

Kenshin: O.o how rude.

Squalo: What the f* ever. R&R. Voooiii! Brat!! -wanders over-


	21. Confusion

Yami: YEEEEEES! I can excempt my math final! Now all I have to take is the gov. one, and we can use the review on it, which IS the test. Yes!

Squalo: And then you'll be done with high school and in the big scary adult world. -smirks-

Yami: F* you Squalo, f* you with something hard and sandpapery! Besides, I'm going to college first!

Xanxus: What the f* ever. don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Confusion**

Tsuna was used to seeing weird things. After being trapped in the future, coming home to find everyone had been looking for them-even the Varia- Tsuna had a much greater respect for weird things, and had learned to live with them. With Reborn as a tutor, it was expected. In fact, if a day went by without something weird happening, Tsuna knew something was wrong. So when Squalo entered the Varia living room, holding a baby that looked remarkably like Xanxus, Tsuna was surprised and relieved. The day had been too ordinary till then.

And of course, he hadn't been surprised when Squalo had told the baby-he still didn't know the child's name-to smile for papà, well that wasn't unexpected, since she looked so much like him. This left Tsuna-and the rest of his guardians-to consider what woman had given birth to the child. Actually what Gokudera had said was, "What poor woman puts up with him?" Basil, who had been with them at the time, had laughed.

Everyone had turned to look at him. After his laughter died down, he told them they'd be surprised who the mother was. He left, laughing again. Tsuna had turned to Fuuta and asked him if he could do a ranking on who was most likely the baby's mother. The lack of name caused a problem though. So they went to dinner, still ignorant of the babe's name and mother.

Dinner was enjoyable. Dino was there. Hibari-who had disappeared as soon as they got to the mansion-appeared to eat. He took a seat next to Dino and Chrome with the excuse that the older male wasn't an herbivore and Chrome was quiet. Timoteo sat at the head of the table, with Tsuna and his family and Family on the right and Xanxus and his family and Family on the left. Both Xanxus and Squalo were busy attempting to get a sleepy and irritable baby to drink from an offered bottle. She wouldn't. By the time the salad was taken away and the main course put on the table, she was screaming up a storm. Squalo left to put her to bed.

"What's her name?" Tsuna asked, now that he could hear again.

"Xiana Arianna," Xanxus answered, cutting up his meat. He took a bit, chewed, swallowed, then added, "Arianna is a family name. On her mother's side." He amended upon seeing the look on Tsuan's face.

"Oh." Does that mean the mother's name is Arianna?

Silence except for the clattering of silverware on plates and the tinkle of glasses being set on the table.

"How old is she?"

"A month and a week old."

"She's very cute."

"Thank you."

Tsuna fell silent again, unsure what to say next. He was saved by Squalo reentering. The silver hair assassin sat down, and began to eat. In between bits, he informed Xanxus that apparently an ear infection was bothering Xiana again, and she had been given medicine that would hopefully knock her out for a few hours. "Not sure if I agree with the doctor's prescription of the stuff. It doesn't seem to make the infection better, just make her sleepy."

"A lot of medicine does that," Nana assured Squalo. Everyone still found it amusing how she thought Squalo to be female. "Don't worry; it shouldn't have any negative effects."

"I get to sleep," Squalo replied. "I'm not complaining."

The second course arrived. Tsuna excused himself to the bathroom. Two turns later, and he was lost. Groaning, the tenth Vongola continued to wander around, in hopes of finding the bathroom. A soft whining reached his ears. Curious, as children often are, Tsuna followed the sound. He ended up at a door. Pushing it open, he peeked inside. The room was painted a soft dull blue, with red and black accents. Primary colored toys lay scattered around. A changing table, a rocking chair, and a crib made it obvious who inhabited the room. Pictures hung on the wall, one displaying a foot print and a hand print. Another had a picture of a new born babe in a hospital crib.

Entering the room, Tsuna wandered over to the crib. Inside was Xiana. Her fists were clinched, beating the blankets and stuffed animals around her. She was whining, slowly gaining in volume. The medicine didn't seem to have worked. "H-hey," he called, waving at the baby.

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him with beautiful silver eyes. They looked familiar. Water filled them, and spilt outward. Sobbing weakly, she reached her tiny arms towards him. He reached in and carefully picked her up. Tsuna's experience with babies-real babies-was very limited. His mother had a friend who gave birth a few years back and he had watched the baby while his mother and her friend chatted in the kitchen. The baby hadn't liked Tsuna very much and whenever he hadn't been sleeping, he had been crying or tugging at the older boy's hair.

At least she doesn't pull my hair Tsuna thought once Xiana was settled in his arms. He quickly sat down, nervous about standing up while holding the infant. "Does your ear hurt?" he asked, not expecting an answer. He didn't get one, just Xiana crying louder. "Um…want me to find your mamma? Or papà? I know where your papà is, but not your mamma."

She hiccupped.

Maybe she was hungry. Remembering the bottle that had been sitting in the corner of the crib, Tsuna carefully got up and retrieved it. But like before, she refused to drink. It only served to make her cry louder. Abandoning the bottle, he balanced her in one arm, and with the other lit a dying will flame. Her crying stilled. This was a nifty trick Tsuna had discovered one day after the return from the future two years ago. Flames that were his own could be manipulated to take on a small shape such as an animal and moved like a puppet. He had even surprised Reborn with this making it all the better.

Ten minutes went by, during which Tsuna entertained Xiana with various animals and making them move. It was a peaceful ten minutes. Peaceful never lasts in Tsuna's life. All too soon she was crying again, and this time flames were engulfing her hands.

The door opened as Tsuna began to panic. Squalo strolled in, paused to look at the scene, smirked, and hurried over. He scooped Xiana from Tsuna, settled her with her head on his shoulder, and gently rubbed her back. The flames diminished. The tears didn't.

"Is she okay?" Tsuna inquired.

"In pain, hungry, and tired. That's making her very fussy," Squalo told him planting a kiss atop the babe's head. "The medicine is probably making her stomach hurt too."

"How do you know so much about her?" asked Tsuna. "And shouldn't her mamma be taking care of her?"

A comical expression over came Squalo's face, and he turned away, obviously trying not to laugh. When he spoke, the mirth in his voice was barely contained. "I am her mother."

* * *

Yami: :D traumatizing children is so enjoyable.

Squalo: Agreed.

Kenshin: How crude!

Yami: Hush Kenshin! R&R peeps, R...&...R.


	22. Truth

Yami: Okay, how much trouble am I in?

Xanxus: A lot.

Squalo: Yeah, you usually update everyday, some people are pissed.

Yami: Sorry guys! We were up at our cousin's graduation, and its a five hour drive up there and we woke up too late to update! And it was 1 in the morning when we got home and I just fell into bed fully clothes, and was out like a preverbial light.

Kenshin: So don't be too angry with Yami-dono please! And don't sue since she doesn't own!

* * *

**Truth**

Fainting was something Tsuna had learned long ago he was very good at. It wasn't the best skill, nor the most admirable. But there it was. When he woke twenty minutes later, lying on a couch in another room, he was considerably confused. The last thing he remembered was Squalo telling him he was Xiana's mother. Of course, it isn't possible; the ration part of his brain told him. Remember health class-he blushed-only girls can have babies. He was probably joking.

With this comforting thought in his head, Tsuna got up and looked around the room. It was simple, with a large bed, a dresser, a bureau with a large mirror against the wall behind it. A window seat against the large high windows, some seating, and a couple of bookshelves. There were also lots of pictures. Sitting on the various surfaces and hanging on the wall. All of them contained at least one person from the Varia, and several contained Xiana.

Hearing noise from the next room over, Tsuna left the room he was in and entered the other room. Squalo was in there, sitting in the rocking chair. Xiana lay in his arms, drifting off to sleep. Squalo was wiping something from the corner of her mouth with a cloth. He looked up upon hearing the door open. Nodding in greeting, he returned his attention to the infant in his arms.

"How long was I out?" Tsuna asked.

Squalo snickered. "Twenty minutes. You're still a brat if you faint so easily."

"It was a bit of shocking news," Tsuna grumbled. "But fainting at a joke is pretty stupid I guess."

He was met with a raised eyebrow. "I wasn't kidding," Squalo said seriously.

"B-b-but you're a GUY!" He fell quiet at the hiss from Squalo and a soft whine from the baby. "Sorry," he whispered, "but I thought only girls could have babies."

"Only girls can have babies," Squalo agreed, "however, it helps that I have the reproductive organs of a female. Biologically, I am female and physically I am male. A little more female every now and then."

Tsuna sat down to take this all in. The thought was a little creepy. But he had seen worse. The room fell into silence. Xiana finally fell asleep. Squalo sat there rocking her for several minutes before getting up and placing her gently in her crib. After tucking her in, and laying her pacifier in her hand, and headed towards to door, motioning for Tsuna to follow.

"Do you still need to use the bathroom?" the shark inquired once he had shut the door.

Blushing, Tsuna nodded.

Squalo pointed at a door three doors down. "That's a bathroom, use it, then I'll take you back to dinner. They should be having dessert by now."

After relieving himself and washing his hands, Tsuna let Squalo lead him back to the dining hall where everyone was. The diners looked up upon their entry. Laughing embarrassedly, Tsuna told them he had gotten lost. He sat down next to Gokudera, and quickly busied himself with the chocolate gelato that was sitting in front of him. It was delicious.

"What really took you so long?" Gokudera asked, once dinner had ended and everyone was returning to either their room or the living room.

"I heard Xiana crying," Tsuna explained. "So I tried to calm her down. It worked for a little while but then she started crying again and then Squalo appeared."

"He offered to look for you since he needed to check on Xiana," Yamamoto chimed in.

"Well I asked him why he was checking on Xiana in the first place and where was her mamma," Tsuna continued and then finished his tale with the shocking truth he had discovered. The expressions of shock were incredibly funny.

Finally, Yamamoto wandered aloud, "Then why didn't I feel any breasts on him when we were training in the future?"

Gokudera hit him. The others laughed. Hibari grunted and quickly left, saying something about crowding and too much noise.

* * *

Yami: Don't let his innocent act fool you! Yamamoto is a pervert! Poor Gokudera has to watch his ass when he's around him or he'll get groped XD

Squalo: Actually, it's true.

Yami: O.O

Kenshin: R&R


	23. Songs

Yami: -sighs happily- three more days and we'll graduate.

Hikari: -grins- soooo clooose.

Toitsu: and then we're off!

Kenshin: Yami-dono, Hikari-dono, and Toitsu-dono are quite excited as you can guess, so I shall do the disclaimer. Don't own, don't sue!

Yami: OH! And Ktina21, your smut is coming within the next two or three chapters! XD

* * *

**Songs**

Christmas, as Tsuna quickly discovered, was a big deal in Italy. Most of the population was either Christian or Catholic. 90% of the mafia families were Catholic, and therefore deeply affected by the coming of the Holy Son's birthday. Even the most hardened of mafia veterans was getting into the thrill of the season. That included all of the Vongola Family, including the Varia branch.

As it was Tsuna's first real Christmas, he had no idea what to do. In Japan, Christmas was for couples to get together, share a bucket of KFC and a strawberry cake. New Years was for family. Here it was different. Gokudera was quick to explain to all the ignorant Japanese people what to do, and the basic story behind it all. That still didn't stop Tsuna from jumping the first time he heard someone singing a Christmas carol in a loud, boisterous voice. What made it worse was it was his father.

"Couldn't you be a little quieter," Tsuna begged as everyone sat in the main living room. Unlike the Varia living room, the main living room was in the center of the mansion, second floor, with enough room to fit at least forty people. Everyone who was there for Christmas was gathered there, even Hibari, though he was sitting as far from everyone else as possible. The only one to approach him was Chrome, who did so blushing slightly. "You might scare Xiana." The old man had certainly scared Tsuna.

"Voooi! Let him sing," Squalo called out. He was settled on the floor, smiling at Xiana as she played with her hanging gym. The colorful toys and interesting sounds they made amused her to no end. Xanxus sat next to Squalo, occasionally poking one of the toys into movement, elating his six week old daughter.

"Music is good for babies," Kyoko informed Tsuna.

Tsuna raised an eyebrow in disbelief but was ignored when Squalo turned to talk to Kyoko. He asked her if she had read any studies about music and babies. "Oh yeah, for a project in health class," she replied. "Playing music for babies before they are born helps them with language development. Reading to them helps too."

"Good thing I did both," Squalo mused. Tsuna and his male guardians blinked, trying to imagine Squalo, the violent, loud, rude, crude, kick ass, killer assassin reading to the lump in his stomach…actually they couldn't get passed trying to imagine him pregnant in the first place. Picture proof would be needed.

Someone turned on the TV, which began to blast out another Christmas carol. "…to the new born king…" the singer sang.

Xiana giggled.

"See, she loves music," Squalo said to Tsuna, smirking triumphantly.

Tsuna rolled his eyes. The door opening caught his attention. Several men and a woman walked in. The ninth's old sun, rain, and thunder guardians. Each was carrying a box. "What are those for?" inquired the teen curiously.

"Decorations," Isabella replied, setting the box down. The sun guardian straitened up, leaned back to stretch her back, then left the room again, calling back, "You boys can help bring them out if you want."

Gokudera leapt to his feet, followed by Lussuria, Bail, Ryohei, Ken, and surprisingly Levi. Even he seemed un-immune to the Christmas spirit. The rest stayed behind, some because they had better things to do, and others because they were confused again.

"What are the decorations for?" Yamamoto asked, plopping himself down next to the family of three. He tickled Xiana's feet, gaining several loud laughs from her.

"The tree, most likely," Hana replied from her place on a couch two yards away. She was determinedly not looking at Xiana or any of the small children. "Christmas is celebrated by giving gifts and putting up a Christmas tree, which is an ever green pine tree, decorated with lights and barbules and an array of other things."

"I've seen them before," Haru exclaimed excitedly. "They're so pretty! May we help decorate it?" She directed this question at Timoteo, who was sitting in an arm chair by the fire, reading a book.

The old man looked up and smiled. "Of course, you're Family aren't you? It is tradition to decorate the Christmas tree with Family."

Haru and Kyoko both cheered in delight. Xiana cooed. The two girls sat down to play with the baby as well.

Over on the couch, Tsuna sighed. "Christmas sounds more complicated here than in Japan."

"Obviously," was the response he got from most of the room.

* * *

Yami: Christmas, to all you nonChristan people, is a religious holiday celebrated on the 25th of December in celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It is celebrated by inviting the family over for a dinner, gathering around a ever green pine tree that is decorated with lights and decorations, and exhanging presents. Children hang stockings and little presents are put in them. More info next chapter.

Christmas in Japan is different than in Christan/Catholic countries. Instead of gathering family together, couples get together, share a strawberry cake, and dig through a bucket of KFC -I kid you not. New Years is for family, Christmas for couples.

Squalo: And with that little tidbit out of the way R&R.


	24. Smex

Yami: In all actuality, this chapter wasn't supposed to be up yet...but then I got bored and said, "Well why the f* not." And here it is. I really don't LIKE this chapter because it kinda sucks in my opinion. I know I f*ed up somewhere, but oh well. You all tell me where I royally f*ed up at, and I'll improve next time.

For Ktina-chan, who is a faitful reader and stalks me waiting for smut.

Squalo: Doesn't that bother you?

Yami: What? That people are requesting you two have sex more and more?...not really XD gives me more chances to practice writing the stuff. The more I write, the better I get, and the more reviews I'll get! My ultimate goal is to give this one friend of mine a nose bleed with my story -evil laugh-

Squalo: O.o you sick twisted bitch.

Yami: Thanks! You all know the drill, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Smex**

_When a new baby comes into the household, there are many things you give up. Alcohol for one._

Squalo wasn't sure how many shots Xanxus had had, but he knew he had only had a few, despite constant warning not to have any. It was just this once.

_You also give up time alone with your significant other. The baby takes up all your time, that and work._

They had been alone for only a few hours. The brats were playing Xiana today. The papers fluttered to the floor in a mess as Xanxus swept them and everything else aside.

_Most likely for the first few months, sexual encounters will be few and far in between since you'll both be tired._

They hadn't had sex since before Xiana was born. That was too long. Too f*ing long without sex! Honest to god, neither knew how that had happened.

_But sooner or later, you'll get back into the swing of things. Just be sure to use protection or birth control so you don't give you little one a siblings when they're still a baby._

Squalo found himself sitting on the desk, fingers tangled in his husband's ebony hair while their lips crushed against each other, tongues fighting for dominance. Xanxus was winning easily, one arm wrapped around Squalo's waist, the other resting on his hip.

"The brats will…keep Xiana occupied…right?" Squalo panted, as Xanxus's lips placed teasing kissing along his jaw and down his neck. The grunt he got in response seemed positive enough. In all actuality, he didn't care if it was the brats or Mammon or Bel or god forbid Levi keeping Xiana entertained, as long as they all stayed away for the next few hours.

Without warning Xanxus lifted Squalo off the desk and all but slammed him into the wall, pinning him there with his taller and more muscular body. The hand that had previously been on his hip was making quick work of the shark's shirt, the other cupping his ass and pulling him forward.

"Shit," Squalo hissed as the friction sent a wave of pleasure through him. A moment later he found himself shirtless and his sensitive nipples being teased. His back arched, bringing them closer. A moment later, he groaned deep in his throat as Xanxus captured one of the nubs between his teeth, the other massaged by the free hand.

Xanxus smirked, and after a few minutes switched his actions. Squalo's hands were working feverishly to rid Xanxus of his troublesome shirt while his mind tried desperately to regain some semblance of thinking. It failed when the hand that was cupping his ass suddenly vanished, as did the lips and chest on his hand. He whined at the loose till he found himself pressed face first into the wall, and the button on his pants being popped off. He'd need to fix that.

"Bet you're tight," Xanxus panted, his hot breath tickling Squalo's ear. "Haven't f*ed you in months."

"Y-y-yeah…" Why is it that no matter what, Xanxus was always in control, even when he was about to f* someone senseless! Squalo could feel the erection pressing against his backside as his own strained against his boxers. Turning his head to the side, he let Xanxus capture his lips in a heated kiss, once again taking complete control, and making Squalo weak kneed.

"Ah!" He gasped as Xanxus's hand plunged into his pants, grabbing his erect member. "F*!" he panted. All coherent thoughts had long since left him, leaving him with just the sense of pleasure administered by the man currently teasing him as he pumped excruciatingly slowly. "F* FASTER!"

"You always seem to say that," Xanxus chuckled, but complied, every now and then thrusting forward. The coil in Squalo's stomach tightened. He bit his bottom lip to keep from cuming so soon. It might have worked…if Xanxus hadn't decided to bit into his neck. Shock mixed with painful pleasure made him lose it. "That's once."

"Ch-cheat!" he gasped out.

"Perhaps," Xanxus purred, smirking down at his victim. "But it appears you like it." He held up the sticky fingers and popped them one by one into his mouth. Squalo's gulped, his heart already racing again. Then, all of a sudden, Xanxus pulled away. Squalo fell to his knees with nothing to hold him up, whining at the sudden lack of warmth and pleasure.

"Stop whining, you sound like a bitch in heat," Xanxus snapped, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes. When he noticed Squalo wasn't moving, he added, "Strip, or I'll do it for you." The temptation was there, but if he let Xanxus do it, he'd need to buy new clothes again. Before he had reached a decision, he found himself with his back to the wall again, his pants and boxers missing. "Warned you." And with that said, he captured Squalo's mouth yet again.

Squalo arched his back away from the cold wall, a deep throated moan escaping his throat as Xanxus's ever so talented hands made quick work of him. A tap on his thigh and he reached out, wrapping his arms around Xanxus's shoulders, and legs around his waist. Then, with a jolt and a horrible ripping pain, he felt Xanxus enter. "F*!"

"Shit," hissed Xanxus, thrusting in again without giving Squalo a chance to prepare. "You are tight. Should have loosened you up." He seemed oblivious to the tears of pain streaming from his spouse's eyes, much more interested in kissing and biting his neck and collar bone. It wasn't until he heard a half sob half moan coming from Squalo that he eased up a little.

"F*," panted Squalo. "F*. F*. F*. F*. You dickhead! That f*ing hurt!" despite his loud protests, his eyes were glazed over, and his own member was standing at full attention.

"We should have done this sooner than," grunted Xanxus. He grabbed Squalo's hips and pulled his forward, going in deep. Squalo let out a hoarse cry, his back arching to the breaking point. "That's better." He did it again, and within moments had the silver haired man screaming his name.

Squalo broke first, after another half hour, followed shortly by Xanxus. He slid out and the both sat on the floor, panting as they regained control of their breathing. Squalo moved first. Shivering, he crawled into his ebony haired spouse's lap and curled up there, pressing butterfly kissing to his neck. Arms came up and wrapped around him. Looking up, their lips met in a much gentler kiss than the ones before.

For some people, they got their pleasure from the activities-whatever they may be- during sex. Others enjoyed the foreplay. For the two assassins, it was the after glow, enjoying each other's presences with nothing between then and no one around.

A hand slapped against the door, making them both jump. "Xiana no!"

An unmistakable babbling sounded from the other side of the door. Xiana.

"Mamma and papà are busy!" Squalo lied quickly. "Lots of work! We'll play later! Promise!"

More babbling and cooing. The person holding her walked off, probably towards the kitchen for a snack.

Squalo and Xanxus looked at each other, before bursting out into laughter. It ended when Xanxus pushed Squalo onto the ground, ready for another go.

* * *

Squalo: O.o

Xanxus: -imagining Squalo bound to the bed in epic uke position-

Yami: -slaps Xanxus- Squalo is never going to be the innocent uke! He will fight!

Kenshin: There is something wrong with you Yami-dono. I know a good doctor who...

Xanxus: -hits Kenshin-put him in a maids outfit next time.

Squalo: O.O VOOII! F* NO!

Xanxus: Or waitress, I'll take either.

Yami: -evil smirk- I like what you're thinking my dear Xanxus. Let us see what I can do.

Squalo: Nooooooooooooo

Kenshin: -sighs- R&R


	25. Mistletoe

Yami: OGFM I GOT CIRQUE DU FREAK MANGA AND IT'S AWESOME! DARREN SHAN I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Kenshin: O.o

Squalo: O.o

Xanxus: O.o

Xiana: Il f*

Xanxus: ummmm....don't own, don't sue. Squalo! Get the wand of sanity!

Squalo: -pulls out large metal baseball bat-

* * *

**Mistletoe**

Five days to Christmas the tree arrived. It took six full grown men to drag it in, up the stairs, and an additional two people to help set it standing strait. Once done, they all stepped back to survey their work while everyone else clapped. The decoration boxes were opened and everyone went about decorating, not only the tree, but the room as well.

After twenty minutes of this, Tsuna had to admit it was fun. Everyone was smiling, laughing, or singing along to the music playing from the radio. He found himself joking with people he didn't even know as he stood on tiptoe to put up tinsel. Just a foot too short to reach the desired shelf, he settled for the one lower when two hands grabbed him under his arms and lifted him up. He quickly hooked the tinsel onto a protruding nail. "Thanks," he said to Levi once he was back on the floor. The thunder guardian grunted and walked away.

Gokudera was sitting on Yamamoto's shoulders, attaching a sprig of something above the fireplace. It had leaves and berries, and several people were watching it suspiciously. The two putting it up were snickering in an evil fashion that would have made Mukuro proud.

The smaller children, Lambo, I-Pin, Fuuta, and other kids were helping Kyoko, Haru, and Hana put hanging attachments on the tree ornaments. Nana was talking to Rosalina, who had brought her five kids to help with the decorations.

"HA! Done," Gokudera exclaimed, before ordering Yamamoto to put him down carefully. Both made sure to avoid getting under the leaves they had put up, and once down, they both ran away at top speed.

"…just want you for my own. More than you could ever know…" some American singer sang.

Xiana, laying on her tummy as she watched the goings on, smacked a glass ball, sending it clattering towards the fireplace. Squalo sighed and picked up the other balls around her, putting them out of reach. "Vooooi," he sighed tiredly. "Don't hit everything you see." He turned her onto her back and brought over her hanging gym. When she was occupied with that he went to retrieve the Christmas ornament.

Gokudera smirked as his trap was sprung. "Hey Xanxus," he called. The man looked over. He pointed at the ceiling above Squalo's head. The swordsman didn't appear to have noticed it yet. All of Tsuna's guardians paused to watch. There was a running bet to see if Xanxus and Squalo were really together-they all had trouble believing it.

Xanxus blinked. Once, twice, three times. Then strolled over to Squalo, grabbed the silver haired assassin and gave him a full blown kiss on the mouth. Tongue included. Tsuna turned away blushing. Chrome giggled. The others groaned as they each handed the mist guardian a wad of cash. There were catcalls and whistles from people in the room, and Nana and the girls squealed. When Xanxus tried to pull away, Squalo pulled him back into a kiss, a lot more forceful than Xanxus's own kiss had been.

"Told you," Chrome chortled.

The others rolled their eyes, trying to ignore the pair under the mistletoe. After a minute, Gokudera, face a wonderful shade of red, yelled, "WE GET IT! STOP MAKING OUT ALREADY!"

Squalo broke the kiss and leaned his head back, smirking at the storm brat. "But we're giving helpful advice to your little boyfriend for when he attempts to jump you in the near future."

A confused look appeared on Gokudera's face before it was replaced with horror. Looking around, he saw Yamamoto watching the pair under the mistletoe with a serious expression usually reserved for swordsmanship or baseball. "Oh f* no!"

* * *

Yami: -sporting large bleeding head wound- now that the chapter is over, lets do something different today.

Squalo: F*

Yami: An interview!!!! With Xanxus.

Squalo: Double f*

Yami: -sits in random chair- so Xanxus, the readers want to know, how is Squalo in bed?

Squalo: Triple f*

Xanxus: -ignores Squalo-good enough for a trashy shark. -smirks- he screams like a bitch in heat most of the time.

Squalo: VOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!

Yami: I see. Out of all the cosplay outfits out there, what would you prefer him in?

Xanxus: Maid outfit. The short skirts allow easy access.

Squalo: -groans and beings hitting head against wall-

Yami: And exactly hwo rough do you two get?

Xanxus: -pauses to think-well...that depends on if I'm pissed...

Squalo: or being a horny f*ing dick!

Xanxus: But we can get pretty rough. Handcuffs or some bondage involved.

Yami: -pinches nose to keep blood from spilling out- very interesting. Now here's a question posed by a reader, how did you two get together in the first place? Was there some connection you two felt or...

Squalo: HE RAPED ME!

Xanxus: It wasn't rape if you liked it!

Squalo: -blushes and stutters-

Yami: XD It wasn't rape it was surprise sex!

Xanxus: Lets leave this question alone for the moment.

Yami: Very well, and do you two plan to have anymore kids?

Xanxus: Yes.

Squalo: NO! -pulls out sword- I'll slice your dick off before you can get me pregnant again!!!

Yami: And that's the end of the interview! SQUALO STOP! LEAVE THAT DICK IN PLACE! -grabs wand of sanity and clubs Squalo with it-

Squalo: X.x -out of commission-

Yamamoto: O.O WOOOOW! A hard hitter! Join the baseball team!

Kenshin: -is disturbed- umm...R&R...and never ask for an interview again, this has traumatized this one beyond belief.

Xanxus: Really? I had fun!


	26. Picture Proof

Yami: We're graduating! We're graduating! -dancing the conga-

Kenshin: Yami-dono and her sisters are graduating tonight :D

Xanxus: F*ing finally.

Yami: dont own dont sue, we're graduating~

A/N: oh, and Hikari put up a picture of Xiana when she's older. http://water master /art/Varia-Pri ncess-12 4805919 go check it out, just remove the spaces :D

* * *

**Picture Proof**

Yawning, Tsuna entered the living room, still half asleep. He still wasn't used to sleeping in such a big bed, or in such a big room. It took forever to get the sleep the previous night, ignoring the sounds of Yamamoto and Gokudera fighting again. Over what he wasn't sure and really didn't want to know.

Dropping into a chair, he curled up, yawning again. Someone was singing a lullaby, making it near impossible to keep his eyes open. The voice was sweet and soft, a little rough around the edges, but it reminded him of his mother when she used to sing him to sleep. Just about to fall asleep, his mind finally recognized the voice. He sat up with a start and stared at the TV where the voice was coming from.

From a slightly awkward view that looked like it was peek around a door, Squalo appeared on the screen. Lying on a couch, one hand rubbing a large lump under his shirt, the other tangled in the ebony strands of Xanxus's hair was none other than the Varia swordsman. The Varia leader was sitting on the floor, head leaning up against the couch. Tsuna had never seen such a peaceful expression on either man's face before.

The door to the living room opened and a screech filled the room. "VOOOOOIIII! I TOLD YOU TO DESTROY THAT YOU F*KERS!!!"

"But Squalo-chaaaan," Lussuria cooed, "It's so cute seeing you singing to the baby! And I don't have any other recordings of you singing!"

"GOOD!" He stalked over to the DVD player and yanked the DVD out, throwing it like a Frisbee. It shattered upon impact against the wall. Lussuria wailed. Xanxus smirked and sat down in his arm chair.

"Your own fault trash," he told his sun guardian when the man complained to him. "Stick to the pictures."

"Yeah," growled Squalo, sitting with a huff in Xanxus's lap. "I hated that time."

"But didn't you feel so motherly?" asked Lussuria.

"I felt fat," said Squalo.

"You were glowing!" exclaimed Lussuria.

"Those were flames of rage fag," said Squalo.

"But," started Lussuria only to be interrupted by a curious Tsuna.

"Can I see the pictures?" he asked sheepishly.

Squalo glared at him, but Xanxus shrugged and ordered Lussuria to get the books. The man raced away, giggling madly. He returned a few minutes later with the rest of Tsuna's guardians –minus Hibari of course –on his heels, two books in his arms. One was much smaller than the other.

"Here," Lussuria said, dropping the two albums in Tsuna's lap. The others gathered around, excitedly looking over their boss's shoulder as he opened the larger book. The first page showed a very pissed off Squalo, flicking the camera off. Bel stood behind him holding a sign that said five months. Yamamoto laughed.

Page after page all of Squalo, his stomach slowly expanding as the days and weeks went by. One that made everyone laugh, and Squalo turn bright red showed the poor swordsman standing in a maternity dress. Stuttering, he had exclaimed that his clothes weren't fitting and they couldn't get him anything new till the next day. Didn't stop Gokudera from falling to the floor, howling.

And the pictures weren't just of Squalo. Some showed the other Varia. Lussuria and Levi moving a black crib into a newly painted nursery. All of them and some butlers working on painting previously mentioned room. One showed Squalo with a children's book in hand, Bel and Mammon sitting on the floor before him obviously listening.

The last picture in the album showed Squalo and Xanxus, the former viciously tugging on the hair of the latter who looked slightly panicked.

The next album contained pictures of the Varia with the new addition. The first one was the Varia gathered around a hospital bed where Squalo and Xanxus sat, holding a little bundle.

Chrome smirked as Tsuna handed the albums back to Lussuria. Holding out her hands she accepted the wads of cash.

Squalo glared, "What the f* did you all bet on?"

Still smirking in a way reminiscent of Mukuro, the female half of the mist guardian replied, "On whether or not you gave birth to Xiana. I said you did."

Now he was confused. Even he had been in disbelief over being announced pregnant. "And why were you for it?"

Letting loose a blindingly innocent and happy smile, Chrome replied, "Because I've read enough mpreg fanfictions to believe in it!"

Everyone fell over.

* * *

Yami: :D Chrome is a secret yaoi fan girl!! And as ones ourselves, we all know what Goku-kun and Yama-kun were 'fighting' about last night. XD raaaaaaape!!!

Squalo: You are one f*ing twisted sista.

Yami: And you're weird.

Kenshin: Things just keep getting weirder and weirder.-sighs- R&R everyone.


	27. Tumble

Yami: WE HAVE GRADUATED! TA~DA!!! XD I flicked the camera off.

Toitsu: I stripped out of the dress I had to wear...I had clothes under it! You perverts!!!

Hikari: I jumped on our friends shoulders and yelled bitches to the heavens!!!!

Squalo: We heard! We all heard and saw! God there is something wrong with you three!

Xanxus: Squalo, shut the f* up. You all, don't sue since the brat doesn't own. God I need a drink.

* * *

**Tumble**

Only four days till Christmas now. Everyone was rushing around fixing up the mansion. There would be Christmas ball on Christmas Eve. The grand hall had to be prepared. Five trees were being brought in, four smaller ones for each corner, and one sixteen foot tall tree for the center. Today, everyone was in there, helping to decorate the trees with shining gold, silver, emerald, ruby, and sapphire ornaments. Music was once again playing in the background, and every now and then people would break off to dance. Iemitsu had dragged Nana into a dance already, and Tsuna was dancing with Kyoko and Haru at the moment, their faces red from laughing so hard.

Lussuria was running around with a camcorder, exclaiming how he would tape this beautiful Christmas pastime for future generations to watch and enjoy. Most figured he was just getting out of doing any of the work. Mammon was up near the roof, hanging the tinsel with Chrome, who was being supported by Mukuro's illusions. Ken and Chikusa were right below her in case she fell.

In the center of the hall, Squalo was precariously balanced, standing on Xanxus's shoulders in an attempt to get some more ornaments up while some underlings were looking for an extra tall ladder. "VOOOOI!" Squalo yelped, windmilling his arms in an attempt to steady himself. "STOP MOVING SO MUCH YOU F*ING BASTARD!"

"I'M NOT MOVING YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHARK TRASH!"

They spent a good five minutes trading insults before Xanxus finally got pissed off and let Squalo fall. The shark landed on a passing underling. "F*!" Squalo roared, jumping to his feet. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?"

"Of course not," Xanxus replied coolly, putting a bauble on a branch. "Then I would have to find a wet nurse for Xiana, and god knows that will take forever." He received a punch for that comment, and Squalo stormed off, cursing Xanxus to hell and back. When Squalo was out of ear shot, the Varia leader noticed several people shaking their heads. "WHAT?" he demanded, furiously. "You got an f*ing problem?"

"That wasn't very nice," Tsuna said bravely. "You shouldn't be so mean to Squalo, especially since he is the main caregiver."

"He f*ing feeds her, and keeps her quiet," growled Xanxus. When all he received was disapproving looks, he stormed out of the hall, swearing.

Angry and annoyed, Xanxus wandered the halls, ignoring stupid people calling out cheery Christmas greetings. Figuring Squalo would have returned to their room, or possibly to the training hall to blow off steam, Xanxus took a left and instead of going to his office he went to see Xiana. Her ear infection was gone which meant she was a little less irritable, and a lot more fun to be around. She could make expressions now, and she spent more time making eye contact now. The books said that was good.

The door was already open when he got there. Looking inside, he found Squalo lying on the floor with Xiana, pushing a toy car back and forth. Both sets of silver eyes were glued to the car, following its progress left and right. The mamma was also having an animated conversation with the baby about sword styles.

"What if she wants to use guns?" Xanxus inquired, walking in. Squalo spared him a quick glare before returning all his attention to the little toy car and the baby.

"I'll be sure to school you in all of the styles of course, but we'll probably get the sword brat to teach you his style too."

"I asked you a question trash!"

"And I know the best sword smith in Europe. We'll take you there for your swords."

"Wife!"

"That would make a nice Christmas gift, your first sword. What do you think?"

"F* Squalo, sorry you whiny bitch!"

"Of course, papà just _might_ want to teach you some gunslinger techniques."

Xiana cooed as her mamma stood up and lifted her off the floor. Walking to the door, he looked back over his shoulder at Xanxus. "Get the sling will you f*ing bastard?"

"Bitch." But Xanxus got the beautiful sling given to them by the aunt who had made the blanket. They returned to the hall, fit Xiana in the sling, and got back to work decorating as though nothing had happened.

* * *

Yami: -sighs- soooo f*ing happy X)

Hikari: -purrs-

Toitsu: -drinking green tea-

Squalo: -grumbling in the corner-

Xanxus: -drinking scotch-

Kenshing: um...since no one else will do it, R&R everyone. And see you tomorrow!!!


	28. Introductions

Yamik: Okay people, you know I love you, so I expect not to be killed when I announce this.

**_I WILL NOT BE UPDATING TILL FRIDAY_**

Don't kill me! My sisters, mother, aunt, and I are going to a dude ranch in celebration of our graduation. We went to Disney World last year for our sister's and we want to ride horses this year so here we are. I highly doubt there will be internet up there, and if there is, mom won't let me take the laptop. So I'm sorry. I love you all, but for f*ks sake, don't kil me!

Xanxus: Brat, don't beg, order them!

Yami: I need to keep the readers happy, and ordering them does not make them happy shit head.

Xanxus: The f* did you call me brat?

Yami: I called you a f*ing shit head!

Xanxus: -attacks Yami-

Squalo/Kenshin: O.o umm....don't own, don't sue...and don't be angry...

* * *

**Introductions**

"Where's the ribbon?"

"Here Master Squalo."

"Thanks Rosalina." Squalo quickly positioned the red ribbon in Xiana's hair before picking her up. She cooed and reached up, her tiny hand landing on Squalo's cheek. The assassin smiled, took her little hand, and kissed it. "Yes, you look very cute."

"I think she was saying you look like a woman wearing men's clothes," a voice called. Squalo stuck his tongue out at Xanxus. The man stood there in a crisp black suit that was the official uniform for every male that was to attend the Christmas ball. The women would wear beautiful evening gowns, even the children had to be dressed up.

Xanxus walked over, and adjusted the red dress Xiana was in. Tonight was important, not only because it was Christmas Eve, but because tonight was Xiana's introduction to the Mafia world, and the announcement of Squalo and Xanxus's union. Neither showed it, but everyone could tell both parents were nervous. Their daughter's success within the Mafia would depend heavily on tonight, and alliances could be broken because of their union.

"You all look wonderful," Rosalina informed them, smiling. "Should you need me, just call." After adjusting Squalo's tie and trying to fix Xanxus's hair -impossible- she bowed and left. Together, the family left to join the others, who were waiting in a hall just off the ball room. They would all make their entrance at eight sharp, when all the guests had arrived.

Lussuria happily began taking pictures once everyone was there, insisting he get the Christmas pictures. That took twenty minutes, and the remainder of their waiting time. Timoteo gave the doors a sharp knock. On the other side, they could all hear someone calling over a loud speaker.

"Attention honored guests. Allow me to introduce the Vongola Family. Current boss, the ninth, Timoteo Vongola, and his advisor Iemitsu Sawada, wife Nana Sawada, and Iemitsu's assistant Bailicum." The three exited the waiting hall and entered the Grand Hall to loud applause. "Next is the future Tenth Vongola, Tsunayoshi Sawada, his Storm Guardian and right hand man Gokudera Hayato. Rain Guardian Yamamoto Takeshi. Sun Guardian Ryohei Sasagawa. Mist Guardians Chrome Dokuro and Mukuro Rokudo. Thunder Guardian Lambo Bovino. And Cloud Guardian Kyoya Hibari!" The seven of them entered the hall after the ninth.

"The Arcobaleno, leaders Luche and Reborn of orange and yellow pacifiers. Of the blue pacifiers: Lal Mirch, Collonnello, of the red pacifier: Fon, of the purple pacifier: Skull, and Verde of the green pacifier." The Arcobaleno minus Viper followed the kids.

"And last but not least, the Varia. Leader Xanxus Vongola, second in command and rain guardian Squalo Superbia Vongola-" for the first time whispers raced through the hall "Prince Belphegor the storm guardian. Lussuria the sun guardian. Mammon the mist guardian. Leviathan the thunder guardian. And Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola, daughter of Xanxus and Squalo Vongola." The applause was wide and scattered as the Varia made their entrance with Xanxus and Squalo and Xiana in her mamma's arms in the front. Everyone's eyes seemed fixed on the three in front.

Squalo felt the eyes, and many glares directed towards him and adjusted Xiana a little nervously. Xanxus put his hand on his spouse's shoulder to calm him as they made their way into the crowd to mingle.

"Everyone please enjoy the party!"

People converged on the Vongolas. Squalo held his daughter tighter as people approached them. He almost sighed when he saw Dino was with the group. "Hey Squalo, Xanxus," the Chiavorone boss called. He smiled and gave Xiana a kiss on the cheek. "Hello beautiful." Xiana cooed and reached out her tiny hand. Dino took it and gave it a little shake, now grinning. Looking at her parents he told them, "You'll have to watch this one; she'll be beating boys away within a few years."

Both looked horrified at the thought. "VOOOI! No boy is touching my baby girl!" Some women nearby sniffed. They ignored them. A man stepped forward, gave the two a quick bow. "Hello Antonio."

"Greetings Xanxus, Squalo. How are you two?" Seeing that he wouldn't get another word in, Dino abandoned the Varia in favor of talking to Tsuna.

"Well," replied Xanxus bluntly.

"Tired," Squalo added.

Antonio chuckled. "Yes, I would suppose so. Having a new baby in the house does mean less time sleeping. Was she adopted?"

Suddenly everyone around them had fallen silent to listen in. Xanxus was the one who answered. "No, Squalo gave birth to her." Raised eyebrows and sneers. "Biologically he is female, physically a male."

Antonio's other eyebrow joined it fellow by the man's hairline. "Interesting."

* * *

Yami: There, this is the first part of the Christmas party. It comes in three parts. The other two will be up soon, since I love you all.

Xanxus: THat means R&R them ALL brats.

Yami: STOP CALLING EVERYONE A BRAT!

Xanxus: Fine bitch.

Yami: -.- I can't win.


	29. Cat Fight

Yami: Second part. Enjoy it, sigh of the cheeze I put in it. Laugh at it. I don't care, just be grateful and don't kill me!

Xanxus: And you all get to see the first sign of Xiana's powers.

Squalo: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Cat Fight**

The party was taking far too long in Squalo's opinion. He hated parties to begin with. He hated all these stuck up people, and hated their need to put each other down, and prove they are a little higher than someone else. It was politics, and the shark hated politics.

Xiana yawned. She was getting tired. The party didn't end till midnight. It was only ten. The food tasted bad. Normally it was some of his favorite foods but his tastes still hadn't gone back to normal. At least he wasn't as hormonal as he had been or else he might very well be crying by now with all the whispers and narrowed eyes following him.

Xanxus was off talking to some men he knew, leaving Squalo to find something to do. Preferably get something to drink. He was thirsty. Sadly, all the drinks that were circulating around were alcoholic. As if to answer his wishes, a maid walked over. "Excuse me Master Squalo, you look thirsty. Juice or water?" She held up a tray of drinks. Squalo selected the water, thanked her, and went in search of someone he knew to talk to. Actually, scratched that, someone he liked. He could name almost every person in the hall. He didn't like most of them.

A soft whine sounded from the baby in his arms. Squalo put the glass of water down on a table, and held Xiana up. "Voi, what's wrong?"

She whimpered. Tears spilt from her silver eyes as her mamma attempted to find the cause of her distress.

"What's this?" a northern Italian accent demanded. Squalo looked around. Several women stood there. All close in age, with varying hair styles and colors. Their dresses were expensive, matching perfectly with the Christmas trees in the hall. Gold, silver, sapphire, ruby, emerald, and even one of amethyst color. The one who had spoken wore the gold dress, accenting her curly blonde hair well. "Look girls, its Squalo."

"Matilda," Squalo inclined his head just barely. Matilda had been in school with him and Dino, a year above them. She and her friends were what you call opportunistic girls. They went for the hot, single, rich, powerful men, and clung to them till someone else fitted the mold better and they went to that man. Matilda was the ring leader of the girls.

"She's precious," cooed the silver girl. "And you're her mother?"

"I am."

"She looks just like Xanxus."

"Except the eyes," another girl, the ruby one, commented. "The pretty silver of the Canella line." Quietly she whispered to the emerald girl, "Hopefully this one will last."

Squalo glared. It had often been considered a curse within him family that the women should die young. His mother died when he was five at the age of twenty-four, his grandmother had only been forty-five, and his little sister had been two.

"You named her after your sister, and mamma, and grandma, correct?" inquired Sapphire. "How sweet, I'm sure they appreciate the sentiment." Softly she added, "Probably gonna die before she reaches two."

Growling, the Varia swordsman demanded what they wanted.

"Nothing," Matilda said innocently. "We just wanted to see an old school friend."

"You hated me," he hissed softly so that those nearby wouldn't hear. "You hated any boy that didn't fall for you and your underlings."

The smile had disappeared from Matilda's face. "True, I don't like you. Of course, how can I hate you so much when you're just like us? You went for the most powerful single man in the mafia. You even had his child so he would wed you. How you managed that I'll never know."

Xiana stared up at her mother, whose eyes were narrowed dangerously, hair almost raised like a cats. She reached up, patting his cheek with one of her tiny hands. "Maaaaaaaaaa!"

Matilda cast Xiana a vindictive look. "Little brat is a freak," she told Squalo. "Both her parents are male. What do you think will happen to her in years to come? Not to mention no one will accept her in the Mafia."

"Voooi! Take that back you little whore!"

"Whose a whore? The only one I see is you!"

"You little slut!"

The raised voices had gathered the attention of those around the group. Luche, who was nearby, hurried over with Mammon not far behind as Matilda raised her hand. They didn't get there in time.

Squalo's head jerked to the side and he stumbled, knocking over the table. His glass shattered upon the floor, sending glass and water everywhere. Now everyone was staring. The Vongola and Varia were hurrying over. Matilda gave him one final push, knocking Squalo off his feet. His free arm flailed, grabbing for anything to stop his fall. When none appeared, he wrapped both arms around Xiana and let himself fall against the glass strewed floor.

Several sharp shards pierced the skin of his back. Someone screamed. There was a roar of rage. "TAKE THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE SLUT!" Squalo opened his eyes and glared at Matilda. People were converging on the group, shouting and yelling. Someone was calling for a sun guardian who could heal.

Amidst the chaos, a lone wail erupted from the center. Xiana's fists were engulfed in flames. Within seconds it had spread up her arms and engulfed her. Clenching the pacifier in her hand, she pulled her arm back, and chucked the chew toy-now completely surrounded by flames- as hard as she could at Matilda. It missed hitting her, but it hit the ground right in front of her. The explosion that followed sent Matilda and her girls flying ten feet away.

Xanxus finally reached his wife and daughter. Carefully he helped Squalo sit up while Lussuria looked at his back. He tsked, pulled out the glass, and healed the cuts with a bit of sun flame. "There, all done." Neither was paying attention. Xanxus had captured Squalo's lip in a heated kiss. One arm was wrapped around his spouse's shoulders, the other around Xiana, who was crying into his shoulder.

Oddly enough, someone started clapping. Soon the entire room had started applauding as Xanxus helped Squalo to his feet, still holding the sobbing baby who got a kiss on the top of her head. Squalo blushed. Xanxus smirked.

* * *

Yami: A little back story. The name Arianna is a family name on the maternal side of Squalo's family. His mother, grandmother, great-grandother and so on are all named Arianna, an Italian name that means holy. Xiana has it as her middle name because Xiana represents her being the eleventh boss of the Varia hence the XI.

The Canella line is once again following Squalo's maternal family. His grandmother's madien name was Canella. Superbia is his maternal grandfather's name, and that's where he gets the silver hair from.

Squalo: And now that my backstory is noted, R&R


	30. Count Down

Yami: Final part, enojy.

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Count Down**

After the disturbance with Matilda and her group, the party continued as normal. Matilda was asked to leave by the ninth and tenth Vongola. She left swearing, her head held high. One last venomous glare was saved for Squalo, who flicked her off from his place amongst his Family. When she disappeared a whole crowd of mothers converged on the Varia's second in command.

"That was an amazing save," one exclaimed. "Risking your life to keep your daughter safe! You really are a mother!"

"Huh!?" the startled shark said.

"Only a real mother would take a shot instead of let their baby take it, just like you did!"

"It was beautiful!"

"And the kiss afterwards!"

"It was so romantic!"

Xanxus disappeared into the crowd, leaving poor Squalo with the throng of mothers congratulating him and giving him advice.

The band struck up some dance songs at eleven. Once again, Tsuna took the floor, alternating between Kyoko and Haru, and sometimes dancing with both. Ryohei, stuttering, asked Hana to dance with him. She did so. Lambo dragged I-pin onto the dance floor. Iemitsu danced with Nana. Colonnello managed to get Lal to dance with him and she appeared to be having fun. For one reason or another, Reborn was dancing with Luche, who smiled sweetly at Bianchi when she stole him away from her. Bianchi calmly accepted to dance with Dr. Shamal as long as he kept his hands where they belonged. Yamamoto was dancing with Gokudera, who was blushing a lovely shade of red. Oddly enough, Bel was dancing with Mammon. No comment there. Xanxus and Squalo were on the dance floor too, holding Xiana between them.

The music stopped a minute to midnight. Everyone stood in place, watching the giant clock. Counting down.

Fifty-five seconds. Verde closed his laptop and stood.

Forty-six seconds. Colonnello slung an arm around Lal, who pinched his side.

Thirty-seven seconds. Tsuna's family and Family gathered around him.

Twenty-eight seconds. The Varia gathered.

Nineteen seconds. The Arcobaleno gathered together.

Ten seconds. Maids and butlers were rushing out, handing out glasses and poppers.

Five seconds. Everyone readied their glass or popper.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Xiana yawned.

One.

Men swept their women into their arms as the clock chimed Midnight and gave them their first Christmas kiss. Poppers exploded. Glasses clinched together. A cheer of "Merry Christmas" went around. Tsuna blushed as both Kyoko and Haru gave him a peck on the cheek. Chrome, shyly, touched her lips to Hibari's cheek. He looked away, his cheeks dusted pink. Luche and Lal grabbed their men (Reborn and Colonnello) and kissed them while the others laughed.

Xanxus kissed Squalo on the lips, and then Xiana on her cheek as her mamma kissed her other cheek. "Merry Christmas," they said to her as she cooed.

* * *

Yami: And I'm done. Remember, reviews boots my ego and make me happy, so please review all the chapters. I do require people's opinions.

AND YES! I SUPPORT REBORN/LUCHE and LAL/COLONNELLO! XD blame Hikari for the first pairing.

Kenshin: -sighs- Yami-dono, please keep all outlandish pairings out of view.

Yami: Make me you whore! -cracks pig whip-

Squalo/Kenshin/Xanxus: OxO

Yami: -laughs- R&R everyone


	31. Christmas

Listen my children, and you shall hear, of the daytime rides of us three here. Up and down the trails we rode, from dawn till dusk in our cowgirl mode. THe horses they raced along the trails, blazing new paths for the contrabane. And the meals were hot and steamy good to eat. And my ryhming sucks so screw this.

Squalo: And let's get on with the f*ing story.

Kenshin: Welcome back Yami-dono.

Yami: Hello my darling readers. See, I didn't leave you hanging. A chapter for mon/tue/wen, and here is your thursday update. And you thought I didn't love you.

Xanxus: F* that, don't own, don't sue and...PUT THE F*ING ROPE DOWN!

Yami: XD -lassos Xanxus-

* * *

**Christmas**

"This one is for Xiana too!" Timoteo called. Xanxus took the brightly wrapped package. The Family was sitting in the main living room passing around the gifts that had appeared under the tree. And there were a _lot_ of presents. "And this one is for Haru."

"Why am I here again?" demanded Verde, sounding a little annoyed. He was sitting in an overstuffed arm chair, looking half asleep with his laptop on his lap. "I'm tired!" To prove his point, he yawned widely.

Lal rolled her eyes, and gave him the Look. "Because everyone is supposed to be here. The only reason Luche isn't is because she is spending time with her Family. She'll be by later. Christmas is for Family." She accepted the box Skull handed her.

"Sempai, here's one for you too," Skull called, handing Reborn another box. He turned to Timoteo, who had passed out most of the boxes. "Can we start opening them yet?" His lip piercing and excessive purple make-up couldn't hide the childish excitement shining in his eyes.

The ninth nodded, and everyone dove into their piles of presents. Squalo, sitting next to Xanxus with Xiana lying in his lap, sat Xiana up, and held her present in front of her. "Here, you grab a fistful of paper and pull…" Xiana had ignored her mother's words and grabbed at the present, in effect ripping the paper, which she then began to try to eat. Xanxus pulled the paper from her hands and stuffed her pacifier in. Squalo went about opening the presents after that.

An hour later, the presents had all been opened. Squalo was attempting to kill Lussuria, who had gotten him a frilly maid's outfit, complete with apron that said "Mamma's Kitchen." Ryohei was punching the air with brand new boxing gloves. The girls were cooing over jewelry they had received. Lal smiled as she fixed a beautifully hand crafted necklace around her neck.

Skull was exclaiming over a joint gift from Reborn, Verde, and Colonnello: a new motor bike. Mammon shoved a new helmet on the youngest Arcobaleno's head. Lal had pitched in to get him new gloves. Fon had given him new boots, and Luche a new leather jumpsuit.

Reborn got a new holster for a new gun, which he was busy polishing now. Colonnello got upgrades for his rifle. Verde got new upgrades for his computer. He began installing them at once. Fon had received meditation crystals, and other meditation equipment, and a new outfit. Mammon was enjoying several new books and a bunch of money.

Tsuna grinned as he read the new manga given to him by his friends: Hyde and Closer. He felt he had something in common with Closer, for sure. (Read it on One Manga, it ROCKS! It's like Reborn mixed with Shaman King )

Gokudera was at the piano, playing songs from the new music books he had gotten while Yamamoto sat nearby, examining the sword given to him by Squalo. "You need more than one, just incase."

Levi had gotten more umbrellas-his old ones were breaking. Lussuria had gotten cook books, and a few other books that Squalo had pointedly forbidden the kids from even glancing at. Xanxus was examining the holsters he had gotten, pointedly ignoring the presents the rest of the Varia had gotten him as jokes. Squalo had groaned and blushed when the presents had been unwrapped. Bel was busy fixing a new tiara on his head, and examining the new clothes and knives.

I-Pin and Lambo were sharing their candy with Fuuta and playing with their new toys.

Basil was contently reading his new books while his master laughed over his questionable presents, and Bianchi read her cook books.

Hibari was listening to an iPod, effectively blocking out everyone else. Chrome was exclaiming and stammering over the new eye patch, cute/cool clothes, and jewelry/accessories she had gotten. When Hibari had personally handed her a necklace with a small skylark on it, she had quickly put it on, and kept looking down at the pendant every few minutes. Mukuro shared her gifts, minus the cute clothes and jewelry. Ken was munching on new flavors of gum, and Chikusa was inspecting a book on yo-yo tricks.

The youngest of the people was busy playing with the paper and ribbons from her presents, ignoring the mountain of things she had gotten, including but not limited to: a new play pen, toys, games, puzzles, rattles, stuffed animals, clothes, extra pacifiers, a kangaroo, a swing, a new stroller, and scented baby shampoo.

"She says thank you," Squalo told everyone after successfully attacking Lussuria and opening the rest of his presents, some of which were no better than the perverted martial artist's.

"We'll have to use those some time," commented Xanxus lazily.

"F* YOU!"

"I don't think you're well enough yet for me to f* you, trash. But if you really want to, wear the maid outfit."

Nana, Iemitsu, Timoteo, Bianchi, and the other older people quickly covered the ears of the innocent while Squalo attacked Xanxus, speaking rudely enough to make a sailor blush. Reborn looked down at Mammon, who he had protected from the onslaught of words when the psychic said he'd heard worse.

"You should hear them at night."

"VOOOOI! SHUT THE F* UP F*ING BRAT!"

"Sweet normalcy," sighed Lussuria, bouncing the cooing baby.

* * *

Yami: And yes, that maid outfit and other such things will be used in future chapters :3

Squalo: -blushing- V-v-v-voooi! The f-f-f* is wrong with you!?

Xanxus: A lot, but I like these ideas. What else did we get?

Yami: You want an honest answer?

Xanxus: Yes!

Yami: XD Can't tell, it would ruin some of the surprises!!!

Xanxus: F*

Squalo: -still blushing-

Yami: -insane laughter-

Kenshin: -sighs- R&R everyone.


	32. Snow

Yami: okay everyone, now don't hate me...I'm leaving again...for the weekend. SORRY! -dived behind Squalo holding Xiana to avoid being attacked- but I'm going waaaaaaay out of state for college starting in august and everyone wants me to be with them this summer. So there will be times when it's either I go willingly or they will kidnap me!

Squalo: Stop whining like a bitch and take it like a man!

Kenshin: Oro? But Yami-dono is female!!

Xanxus: -smirks- that is yet to be seen, don't own, don't sue.

Yami: ARG! -chasing Xanxus with a metal two by four- I'M A F*ING GIRL YOU F*ING DICK!

* * *

**Snow**

Snow had fallen three weeks ago, coating the lands in the powdery substance. Squalo wasn't a fan of the cold and Xanxus hated most frozen things with a passion. But when the brats all ran outside to have fun, they found themselves getting dragged outside as chaperons. "Most of them don't know what sex is!" Squalo exclaimed furiously as he dressed Xiana in her warn booties. "They don't need a chaperon!"

Xiana kicked her feet, knocking one of the booties off her feet. She cooed. Squalo replaced it only to have to other fly off. Xanxus came over to help. Ten minutes later, completely bundled up, with hats and scarves and gloves, the family escorted the young members of the Family outside.

Immediately, everyone split into teams, and began to build forts of snow. Dino appeared at some point or another, and not five minutes later Skull popped up, dragging Mammon. Luche sidled over to the family, and stood watching the "babies" of the Arcobaleno chasing reach other around. Mammon was pelting Skull with snowballs while Skull ran away laughing. "Having fun?" she asked, smirking.

Squalo glared. Xanxus told her where to go.

"How rude," huffed the arcobaleno of the orange pacifier. "I just came out to tell you both you can go inside. The others are coming out too."

Far from bringing them relief it only served to annoy the two Varia members more. "I spent twenty minutes getting Xiana dressed to stand outside for ten minutes!?" Growling, he took off across the snowy yard, intending to take a nice, calming walk. The invitation to join the snowball fight was ignored.

Soon, snowballs were flying back and forth. Squalo was safely out of the line of fire by a line of trees that usually bore fruit. As it was winter, all the trees were bare and dead looking. Watching the branches sway menacingly scared Xiana, but the beautiful snow flakes that kept landing on her nose sent the fear away with fits of giggles.

"Goddamn snow," grumbled Xanxus from a few feet behind his wife. The Varia leader had followed Squalo, having no intention to go back inside, where the only thing that waited for him were adults drinking wine and eggnog and telling stupid stories.

Rolling his eyes, Squalo opened his mouth to answer. A snowball pelted him in the face. Xiana let out a shriek of laughter. Xanxus snorted. "WHO THREW THAT!?" demanded the shark, whipping around. He ducked in time to avoid getting hit with another snowball. Xanxus wasn't so lucky. Tsuna and Yamamoto raced away, laughing. "GET BACK HERE!"

Three hours later, the kids and a good number of adults trudged in, dropping their wet clothes carelessly in the hall. Rosalina and another maid brought in two trays of treats and hot coco, coffee, and tea. "Just what you need to warm you up," they both said, smiling.

Everyone sat down, ignoring the adults who had stayed inside, half of whom were buzzed, and laughing hysterically at something the ninth had said. They sat near the giant fireplace, shivering till the hot drinks and warmth of the fire took over.

"You'll all need warm baths tonight," giggled Nana when she noticed the group. Their cheeks and noses were red from the cold, and a few people's lips were tinted blue.

Xiana was the only one not shivering or cold in anyway. With booties and mittens and a wool jumper with a baby's winter jacket and finally a thick blanket wrapped around her, she had been snug as a bug in a rug by the fire on a cold winter's night. She was busy enjoying some warm milk, hidden from the world in the folds of a blanket covering her and her parents.

"At least she's not cold," Tsuna commented through chattering teeth. He had fallen under the snow five different times, each time getting snow down his shirt and in his boots.

Xanxus stared at the boy for a moment as though considering something. Apparently he came to a decision before he reached over, snagged a cup of what looked like white hot chocolate, and handed it to the boy. He drank it without thinking. Smirking, Squalo handed a cup of the same stuff to Yamamoto. Five cups later, everyone was enjoying the sight of a drunk Tsuna and Yamamoto.

Sweet revenge.

* * *

Yami: Xanxus, you shouldn't give alcohol to minors- staring at bleeding Xanxus on the ground and smirking-

Xanxus: b-b-bitch.

Yami: What was that you said? I am queen of this story, ruler of your lives, and commander of hell? Why thank you!

Squalo/Xiana/Kenshin: O.o R&R


	33. Bye

Yami: AAAAND I'm back. I can't promise this will be my last multiy day leave. One friend is already saying she is taking us and our other friends to her family's farm. And that will be a week or weekend. This summer is the last time they'll see us till Christmas, so I'm sure you all understand.

Squalo: In short, this is your party summer.

Yami: F* yes! We're high school graduates, we're semi-legal. What do you think we're going to do?!

Kenshin: As long as you do update everyday you're home Yami-dono, no one will complain. Oh and don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Bye**

Christmas had ended, leaving everyone to excite over New Years. In tribute to their Japanese Family, the Vongola mansion was being decorated for the Chinese New Year. The Christmas trees came down, replaced with paper statues and paper lanterns. Everyone was ordered a full kimono. After listening carefully to Iemitsu's description of how the New Year celebration went, everyone prepared things accordingly.

On the 28th the house was thoroughly cleaned. Every inch, every dish, every little corner was dusted, washed, and polished. Even the secret passages were cleaned-though they received a sprinkle of flour once they had been cleaned.

Alters were put up in the kitchens and living rooms. The food for the next day was prepared. Squalo quickly became annoyed with all the extra work. He understood the excitement for Christmas. Being part of a Catholic Family meant you had to be excited about Christmas. But this New Years thing was for the Asian people. Squalo was not Asian.

Xanxus and Mammon shared the same thoughts. Mammon because he refused to change out of his customary hooded cloak and wear a kimono. Xanxus because the paperwork was piling up on his desk and spilling onto the floor. If he wasted any more time goofing off, he'd spend a week just trying to get through the papers on his desk, and another week for the ones of the floor.

"I'll celebrate at dinner," Squalo had said before ditching. Two months, two f*ing months without training! He spent a nice long time scolding himself for being so lazy. Xiana went with her mother to the training hall and spent the days watching as Squalo went through every beginner stance, every basic move, and explained them to her. Her eyes followed the movements, mentally memorizing them for future use.

Xanxus didn't appear for a week. When he finally came out of his office to join them all for dinner a week later, he was rude, annoying, and irritable…more so than usual. The paperwork was taking longer than expected, and if there was one thing Xanxus hated, it was paper work. No one talked much to him till his daughter's gleeful coos managed to make him smile.

"You all really shouldn't work so much," Lussuria told the couple when they appeared for dinner one night. "It's not healthy."

Having that much paperwork still to do wasn't healthy was Xanxus's snappy response.

Two months of not exorcising right isn't healthy was what Squalo said.

"VAAAAAAAIIII!!!" was what Xiana cooed.

And the next day there were back to training or working. Squalo woke up at eight and trained till seven. The only breaks he took were to feed or change Xiana and a brief stop for lunch.

Xanxus woke at the same time. He stayed in his office all day, taking lunch, and sometimes dinner there as well. The wasteland of paper slowly diminished.

Finally, the New Year ended, and it was time for the Japanese people to return to Japan for the new school term. "See you brats," Squalo said, before the group stepped onto the air plane. Xiana cooed.

"Bye," Tsuna said, giving the baby a peck on the cheek, which she returned. "We'll see you later."

"Train sword brat!"

"Ha-ha, of course."

"Ushishishi, don't die before I can kill you."

"SHUT UP!"

"Bye bi Ryohei dear!"

"Bye to the EXTREME!"

"Later, and remember, you owe me a hundred dollars."

"I'll send you a check."

They boarded the plane, and left without another word. Xanxus finally spoke. "They're still brats." With that, he turned and departed wife and daughter hurrying after him.

* * *

Yami: There we go. Now that Christmas is over, I can have a hell of a lot of fun with the next chapters.

Squalo: Suddenly I'm scared.

Yami: You should be.

Squalo: I know.

Kenshin: R&R everybody!


	34. Add In Drooling

Yami: Hikari mentioned how most people don't like baby drool, and find it rather gross. The Varia, being how they are, would be just like that. Then I came up with this add-in chapter and it turned into two add-in chapters!

Squalo: In short, it explains why that f*er changes her diapers.

Yami: That too.

Kenshin: Don't own don't sue! Now lets get on with the story!

* * *

**Drooling**

"Babies tend to drool a lot but do not let this upset you. The saliva is actually helpful, as by this time your baby will be putting everything in his/her mouth. The drool coats everything in disease-preventing proteins." Squalo snapped the book shut and glared at the people in front of him. "Now are you bastards satisfied? There is a reason for the f*ing drool!"

"It's still gross," Levi grumbled.

"Well yeah but…Xiana no!" Squalo dived forwards; pulling the sharp and pointy object from Xiana's grabbing hands. "F*! BEL!"

The prince grinned, "Ushishishi, she knows a good weapon when she sees one."

"I'M GONNA F*ING KILL YOU IF YOU LEAVE YOUR F*ING KNIVES AROUND!" Squalo roared, throwing said knife at Bel. He dodged and looked towards Levi and Xanxus, as if searching for backup.

Neither appeared with the required backup, meaning that poor Bel was left at the mercy of a very pissed off Squalo. It had been like this for a few weeks now. Squalo was getting back to his normal pre-pregnant self now that most-but not all-of the hormones were flushed from his system. This left a lot of testosterone, some estrogen, and a few other female hormones related with breast milk, all of this added to a slightly insane Squalo…well at least more so than usual.

Xiana was now two months and three weeks old. She was moving around and rolling onto her sides. She reached and grabbed at everything within reach and stuffing it into her mouth. This left Squalo very stressed, as he was normally the one who had to dropped whatever he was doing and pull the item in question from his young child's hand. And most of the time it was dangerous! She had grabbed a gun earlier that day, left by some stupid, inattentive underling. The new mother nearly had a heart attack.

It didn't help that Mammon, who happened to be very good with Xiana, was currently absent. His latest mission would keep him away for another two weeks at least. Lussuria was also gone, due back next week. This left Squalo with Levi who still didn't get along with Xiana, Xanxus who was slightly awkward around the child, and Bel who shouldn't be aloud near little children. AT ALL!

Swearing under his breath, Squalo lifted Xiana into his arms, and fell onto the nearest couch. It was empty luckily, since the annoyed mother would have kicked anyone sitting on it off. Lounging on it on his back, he put Xiana on his chest and watched as she blew spit bubbles, much to her own amusement. He smiled. The others visibly cringed at the sight of more drool.

"VOOOIII! Why the f* does it bother you idiots so much?" Squalo demanded when Levi made a squeamish noise. "You f*ing drool in your sleep!"

"How does it _not_ bother you, trash?" countered Xanxus, sounding annoyed. "She drools all over you and you never bat an eye."

"I'm her f*ing mother!"

A bubble popped. Xiana squealed, ignorant to the tension growing in the air.

"Why does it bother you!? You're her f*ing father!"

"Because drool is f*ing disgusting. Normal people are usually disgusted by it."

"I repeat: you are her father," the shark snapped.

"I repeat: It is disgusting," retorted Xanxus.

"Well f*, I didn't realize the perfect Xanxus was disgusted by such a little thing. No wonder you never f*ing change her."

"That's your f*ing job, shit head!"

"Why is everything my f*ing job!?" Squalo had sat up now. Xiana stopped laughing. She stared up at her mother with shock written on her little face. "Why am I the only one who does a f*ing thing! I f*ing change her, feed her, rock her to sleep, read to her, sing to her, clean her, play with her. You sit on your f*ing ass in your f*ing office!"

"I can't very well feed her," Xanxus growled. "She doesn't like the f*ing bottles and I'm not a halfa like you."

"A HALFA!?"

"Yes halfa, someone who is half a dumb ass, and half a shit head!"

"F* YOU!"

"I WISH I HADN'T F*ED YOU!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Xanxus regretted it. Squalo stood abruptly, strolled to the door, grabbing Xiana's discarded blanket and bib, and left without another word. "F*."

* * *

Kenshin: -gasp- how **mean **of Xanxus-dono!

Yami: I know! How could he be such a **horrible** father and husband!

Kenshin: And to think, he makes Squalo-dono do **everything**!

Yami: Absolutely **disgusting** of him!

Xanxus: Oh shut the f* up!

Squalo: No, let them continue, I'm enjoying this.

Xanxus: -growls-

Squalo: -smirks- R&R everyone!


	35. Add in Drooling pt 2

Yami: Second part to Drooling! I noticed everyone seems to have a little trouble reviewing since FF is a **. Just go to the next chapter...It should work (I think)

Kenshin: Or do what Fangirl666-dono did. PM the review.

Yami: That's right, because reviews are to me as sweets are to L :D

Squalo: Dumbass. -sighs- don't own, don't sue and by the way I...

Yami: :D MAMA'S MAKING BACON! -runs out of the room-

Squalo: O.o

Kenshin: -.-'

* * *

**Drooling Part 2**

Two weeks. Two f*ing weeks. Two f*ing long weeks. Two f*ing long quiet weeks. Xanxus hated quiet. After leaving them two weeks ago, Squalo had gone strait to Xiana's room and locked himself and the baby in. Upon attempting to enter, he was met with extreme prejudice. After a maid tended the stab wound, he didn't try again.

That alone wouldn't have bothered him. No, but other people were allowed in! Timoteo had gone in five times during Squalo's…could it be called a stake out? Whatever it was, the old man had gotten in. Rosalina and several other maids were allowed in and out as well. Lussuria and Mammon came and went as they pleased, and even Bel managed to get in a few times. The only one completely bared was Xanxus. This irked him.

How can someone stay stuck in a f*ing baby's room for two goddamn weeks! There wasn't even a bed in there! There was a crib! A f*ing crib, and a stupid annoying rocking chair!

And that wasn't the worst part! Squalo left the room occasionally. Xanxus had spotted him five times in the past week alone. But he never said anything to Xanxus, and always managed to disappear whenever the Varia leader got too close. This was nothing like the fights he and Squalo had gotten into before Xiana came. Sure, they once didn't speak for three weeks, and upon seeing each other they either ignored each other or attempted to mutilate the other in some fashion. But not this time. Xanxus almost preferred the fighting. At least then they were seeing each other.

The Varia was suffering. Literally split in two by the feuding couple, they all kept getting into fights. Bel and Levi were on Xanxus's side as expected. But Mammon and Lussuria sided with Squalo. And not just them, but half of the underlings did as well-mostly those with children-and all the maids! Rosalina wasn't speaking to him, and Anita was furious. It had only been his crafty escape -jumping out of the nearest window- that had saved his ass from the old woman's wrath.

And as if all this wasn't bad enough, but the guilt and sense of loneliness was! He had long gotten used to Squalo being there whenever he had called upon him. Even when the f*ing shark was pregnant, all Xanxus had to do was yell for him, and he would come to see what was so important he had been woken from a nap. Also, he missed Xiana. The baby was one of only two people who could make the otherwise stoic Varia leader smile. And with one gone, she went too. The days were much more boring, time passing slower without Squalo sitting on the floor of his office, playing with the little angel who was now three months and one week old.

All of this came together to royally piss off Xanxus. So great was his anger that, after finally getting sick off all this bullshit, he stormed to Xiana's room, and forced the door open. He was greeted with the sight of Squalo's still form on the floor next to the crib, and Xiana sobbing in his arms.

Squalo woke to the horribly annoying sound of something beeping in a steady and irritating rhythm. Something itched the inside of his elbow, and it took all his might not to rip out whatever the f* it was. And worse, it smelled of antibacterial wash. Blinked his vision clear, he was greeted with a sterilized white ceiling. Turning his head to the left, he spotted what was annoying his elbow. An IV connected to a bag and drip containing a clear solution.

Groaning he made to sit up, only to stop. Sitting to his right in what must have been a very uncomfortable hospital chair was Xanxus. But he wasn't alone. Nestled in his arms was their child, who was sound asleep like her papà, though without the light snoring. With a sigh he let himself drop back, and reached out for his spouse.

The lightest touches woke Xanxus, as Squalo quickly learned. Life in the mafia did that to you. So when a hand wrapped around his upper arm, Xanxus jolted away, automatically reaching for a gun that wasn't there.

He spotted Squalo, blinked for a moment as though unsure of what he was seeing. It usually took several minutes for Xanxus to fully wake up, even if he did wake so easily. "Vooii! What the f* are you staring at, dickhead?" That was enough for Xanxus. Getting up carefully so as not to wake the slumbering babe, he leaned over and captured Squalo in a heated kiss.

"Don't you ever f*ing do that again," he growled once they had drawn apart. He sat back down, now fully awake.

"Well what happened?" demanded Squalo, pulling his hair back and braiding it. It was far too tangled to let it stay down, and hospital pillows never agreed with his hair. "Why the f* am I here?"

The door opened and a nurse walked in. Upon seeing Squalo awake and talking, she hurried over to him, checked his vitals, pulse, blood pressure, asked how he felt- "Tired, hungry, and f*ing confused." and left to inform the doctor. When the door finally shut, Xanxus told him. "You fainted in Xiana's room a week ago. Something about a hormone imbalance, low blood sugar, and stress." Squalo had the decency to blush and look away. "You weren't taking care of yourself, were you shit head?"

"I felt fine till that day."

"Your blood sugar was boarder line. You should have been shaking like a f*ing leaf."

"I was, to tell you the truth, but I was f*ing tired too, didn't think much of it."

"Shit for brains."

"Dick for brains."

"Possibly."

Xiana let out of soft coo and opened her eyes. The brilliant silver gaze fell on Squalo. With a shrieking laugh she reached for him. Xanxus slid her from his arms into those of her mother. Now babbling excitedly, the Varia princess rubbed her head against Squalo's chest, a sure sign of hunger. "I just woke up and you're asking for some f*ing milk!?" he demanded incredulously. "What am I? Your personal chef?" She cooed.

Xanxus sat back and watched as Squalo shrugged off half of the horrid hospital gown they had stuck him in, and cradled the baby so she could easily drink. Once she was suckling happily, Squalo turned his gaze upon Xanxus. "Who's been feeding her?"

"We had Rosalina be her wet nurse for the week," Xanxus replied.

A silver eyebrow rose. "Oh, so Rosalina had been taking care of her?"

"No," Xanxus snapped, now sounding annoyed. "I have. I washed her every night before bed, just like you. I read her that stupid book you were reading her, "Brisinger". F*, it was boring as shit! Why do you read such trash?" Squalo glared. "I've also changed her, played with her-she can sit up when someone supports her now-and everything else you always complain about doing. It was easy," he finished smugly.

The other eyebrow joined its companion. "Easy? Is that so? Well then, I think I'll stay here another week while you keep up these _easy_ jobs." He smirked as a look of panic briefly crossed Xanxus's face. "Not so easy is it?"

"No. She wouldn't stop crying. First because I used the wrong shampoo, then because I wasn't reading the f*ing book right. Then I forgot the stupid lyrics to that lullaby you sing her, and I was rocking her too fast. I didn't change her fast enough, I didn't talk enough, and she was fussy because she didn't like Rosalina's milk." He ran a hand through his hair, the picture of a father at his wits end. "I didn't do anything right! All she did was cry and cry and f*ing cry!"

Squalo offered him a gentle smile like the ones he usually reserved just for Xiana. "You took care of her, you did that right." Then he snorted. "Even if you did f* up everything."

"Shut the f* up trash."

"Well now that you know what to do and how hard it is for one person to do it. You can help me take care of her," Squalo announced. Xiana hiccupped. Milk and drool dribbled out of her mouth. Xanxus didn't flinch this time, though he looked mildly disgusted. To his merit, he grabbed a tissue from the table and wiping away the mess.

"Fine, what the f* ever, if it will get you to shut your f*ing flytrap."

"Good, then you can change her in an hour or two," Squalo laughed

"F*!"

* * *

Yami: -munching on crispy bacon- yummy only just got the last few pieces.

Toitsu: You mean STOLE them! Those were MINE T^T

Yami: Sit down and shut up!

Squalo: hey, has anyone else noticed parents spend the first five years of our lives trying to get us to walk and talk, and the rest trying to get us to sit down and shut up?

Hikari: hmm...yes, I think you're right! :D

Kenshin: Master just wanted me to shut up period T^T

Yami: DOn't worry Ken-kun, we love you.

Squalo: R&R you brats! -munching on Yami's last piece of bacon-

Yami: O.O MY BACON!!!! RAAAAWR!! -attacks-


	36. Baking Biscotti

Yami: Yeah, new mildstone reached. We still have a few more things I want to go over before we get to more of the story. Once Xiana hits a year old -which won't be long now that we aren't going week by week- than the real story begins since that is when her real personality will show through and she can start giving the world hell XD

Squalo: Bitch.

Yami: That I am. Kenshin!

Kenshin: Yes Yami-dono, she doesn't own, so don't sue...please.

* * *

**Baking Biscotti**

Squalo looked up briefly from his cooking when the sound of Xiana crying filled his ears. Looking over his shoulder, his eyes fell on Xanxus, who was sitting at the kitchen island, working on some late paperwork. The baby was lying in her basket. And judging by the way she was squirming uncomfortably, Squalo could guess what was wrong. "Xanxus, change her."

"I did last time. You change her."

"I'm baking biscotti!"

"You can put it down for a moment."

"No I can't! The mix will harden!"

"F*."

"Xanxus, change her f*ing diaper! NOW!"

Growling, Xanxus threw down his pen, stood up, and gathered Xiana in his arms. A quick check to see if she needed a change-boy did she! Sighing, he grabbed a towel from a drawer, placed it on a free space on the island, and placed the baby gently on it. She continued to scream. After quickly gathering the things he needed, Xanxus went about changing her very dirty diaper.

He wrinkled his nose when faced with the contents of his daughter's diaper. "When do we potty train her?"

"Not for awhile," Squalo replied, smirking.

"F*."

"Xanxus, she's only three months and three weeks old," Squalo sighed. "She's going to be using a diaper or at least a pull-up for a few years."

"It smells."

"So do you when you forget to shower." There was a thud as he dropped the dough onto a slab and began to separate it into six loaves. "You don't hear me complaining."

Xanxus grunted a response before pulling the tabs out and finally closing up the new clean diaper. Now that she was nice and clean, Xiana let out a sigh, reached out, and grabbed Xanxus's pen. He pulled it out of her hand before she put it in her mouth, and replaced it with a plastic ladle lying on the counter. She began to suck on it and drooled all over it. Again with the drool!

"Hey, when do I get a mission?" demanded Squalo suddenly, as he put the biscotti loaves into the oven.

He received a raised eyebrow. "You want a mission? A f*ing dangerous mission where you could die and leave Xiana without a mamma?"

"NO!" Squalo yelled, slamming the oven shut. Taking a deep breath, he sat on one of the stools, and said as calmly as possible. "I'm tired of just sitting around doing nothing. I train myself, I eat, I do paperwork, I take care of Xiana, and I train new recruits. But I haven't had a real mission in months. I WANNA F*ING KILL SOMEONE!"

Xanxus stared at him. Xiana gaped at him, the ladle forgotten. Finally, Xanxus found his voice again. "There is one. Just kill a snitch. No protection, no nothing. You can have that one if you want."

"VOOOOIII! FINALLY!"

Sighing, he pulled some of the sheets to him and looked over them, before grabbing a pen from his pocket and signing. Xanxus grabbed his own pen and returned to signing. Silence fell upon the kitchen with only the scratching of the pens. Both started when Xiana started crying without warning.

Looking over all they found was her, lying on her stomach…

"Didn't you put her on her back?" Squalo asked slowly.

"Yes…" They stared at each other, then at Xiana, who seemed horribly stressed at the fact that she had just rolled over.

Letting out a happy coo, Squalo leapt to his feet and scooped his baby into his arms, congratulating her. Xanxus even joined in, patting her on the head and kissing her forehead. The books -which he didn't read…_really!_- all said that finally rolling over was a big milestone.

The next time Xiana rolled over, she laughed, and Squalo caught it on camera.

* * *

Yami: yes, some children do cry when they finally roll over. It is a startling thing for them to do, and you can guess a little scary at first.

Squalo: as are a lot of things.

Kenshin: but smile and praise them and they'll learn good habits.

Xanxus: so f* off and R&R.

Yami: O.O XANXUS!!! STOP INSULTING MY F*ING READERS!!!


	37. Assassination

okay, i'm typing with 1 hand -other hurts like f*- at midnight after a shitty day, so forgive the crappy A/Ns. Don't own don't sue and all that shit.

* * *

**Assassination**

Squalo smirked as he approached the old rundown apartments. Inside was the snitch that had leaked some information to another family. His heart was thudding against his rib cage in anticipation. Oh the joy of the kill. He hadn't felt it in so long.

Up the rickety old stairs. They creaked and swayed. Eyes peered at him from behind broken windows. Upon seeing the crest that adorned his chest, they disappeared. He approached the door slowly. 203. The sounds of scuttling inside. The rat was scared. He knew someone was after him.

The door was barely a barrier. It broke with one kick. A scream. The other rats were moving in their holes, trying to get away. He entered, swords raised. A shadow ran into another room. A thud. Scrambling. Whimpering. He entered the doorway.

There he was. A skinny little man, barely five six, with sharp cheek bones and greasy hair. His clothes were once very good and very expensive but had since gone bad. He stared at Squalo, stuttering and stammering to the point of hysterics. The assassin slammed his foot down on the man's stomach, knocking him to the ground. He barely had a chance to breathe before Squalo slammed the same foot onto the snitch's hand. Bones snapped He screamed. "P-p-p-please!" he begged, trying in vain to pull his broken hand from under the taller man's shoe. "Please let me go! I swear I'll never talk again."

Squalo grabbed him by his shirt front and slammed him into the wall. Groaning, he slumped to the ground. A sword stabbed through his shoulder and twisted. He screamed. Sobbing, he struggles to free himself. Another blade glinted in the weak light. Explosive gun powder hit his face as a short sword sliced through his wrist, bone and all. His screams echoed through the apartment complex.

Blood was gushing from the wound. He was crying. The assassin was smirking, even as the blood soaked his hair and clothes. "VOOOIII! You listen here you f*er," he hissed, the fist holding the dragger dragging at his hair. "You betrayed my Family. You betrayed the Vongola. For some money. Did you think you'd last more than a month? Did you?"

"P-p-please!" he spluttered. "P-p-please I'm s-so-sorry!"

Squalo sighed, and grabbed the man's free shoulder. "You might want to turn your head, this will hurt." Without waiting for a reply, he gave it a swift jerk. The snap of bone was sickening. The scream was almost deafening. Almost, but not quite. Squalo had caused many more to scream in pain as he tortured them to death.

Pausing to look at his watch, the shark noticed the late hour. "Hm…I need to get back. Let's end this then, shall we?"

"N-n-no," the rat gasped. Another scream tore at his throat as Squalo jerked his sword free. "Please! PLEASE! DON'T…" His pleads ended as his head was disconnected from his body. The spray of blood fell like rain on the bloodthirsty shark.

"Bastard better not have an STD," Squalo grumbled, storming out of the crappy building. He needed to get home soon. There was a bad rainstorm due to start within the next hour. Xiana hated storms and without a doubt would wake up crying.

He arrived home, soaked, blood and mud splattered, and irritated that he had miscalculated his return. People were still up, which was odd. Most went to bed a few hours after the sun set. It was a quarter to one. Following a group of Mammon's squad, he soon found himself in the main living room and met an odd sight.

It seemed as though the top five members of each squad were in there, along with their squad leaders, the main Varia members, Xanxus, Xiana, and a few maids and butlers. They were all in pajamas, staring at the large plasma HD flat screen TV. Playing on it was… "Is that Star Wars?" Everyone turned around to stare. His squad called out excited greetings. Xiana let out a coo and reached for him. Squalo walked over and reached for her.

"Mama!" Squalo paused, staring down at the four month old. She was reaching for him, giving him a full blown gum smile, her eyes alight with joy. "Mama!"

Letting out an excited coo, Squalo swept Xiana into his arms, kissing her cheeks, and cuddling her. "She said mama! She can talk! She can talk!" Grinning, he gave her another kiss, realizing belatedly that he had gotten her filthy.

Everyone in the room was grinning or smirking. Lussuria had a video camera out, and was taping the whole thing. Xanxus was commentating, "From killer bloodthirsty assassin, to cooing new mother, the shark is a strange creature."

"F* YOU!" Squalo yelled, immediately puffing up. Taking a deep breath, he turned and strolled out of the room. "We're going to take a bath."

They appeared an hour later, both squeaky clean, and Squalo in his pajamas, hair pulled up into a loose braid. He sat down next to Xanxus on an available loveseat, and placed Xiana on his lap. Apparently, when she had worked up crying two hours ago, Xanxus had wandered into the living room to find Bel and Mammon watching Star Wars. The noises attached Xiana's attention, and before long she was laughing and cooing. Once Xanxus sat down, Lussuria appeared. Rosalina brought some treats in, and before long everyone was there. The only Varia members besides the top six that lived on the third floor were the top five in each squad. This is why they were there now.

"You all are freaks, you know that," Squalo informed the gathering as someone turned off the lights, and the snacks started to circulate. "And if anyone starts a fight, I'll hang them by their dick from the tower."

Needless to stay, no one started a fight.

* * *

okay, i'm tired! good night see you all later today! R&R


	38. Teething

Yami: Okay friends, now we move at a faster pace through teething, walking, friendships and more. Instead of going month by month or week by week as we were doing, we shall be skipping months at a time. Once a baby startes really moving around, it's all down hill from there :D

Squalo: You say it so negatively.

Yami: -.- if you know my brother, you'd agree with me.

Keshin: he isn't that bad Yami-dono. Anyways, let us begin.

Squalo: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Teething**

When Xiana was born, she was under sized and under weight to compensate for her mother's smaller pelvis. Everyone was worried. The fears were in vain. She began to grow normally, slowly at first, then much faster. Her communication and motor skills developed much faster than her mental ones. While she sat up on her own a couple of weeks ahead of normal babies, and was laughing and babbling long before others, her abilities to discern between colors and other mental things were only average. Her parents thought nothing of it.

By the time she reached five months of age, she was rolling from her stomach to back, and back to stomach. She was also sitting up without help and had even begun to crawl. Backwards.

But that wasn't the problem right now. Oh no.

"VAAAI! VAI! VAI! VAAAAAI!"

"Where the f* is her pacifier!?"

"I don't f*ing know! Where is the f*ing ring!?"

"Hell if I know!"

"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!" Xiana's fists beat against Squalo's shoulder. Said man was running around, looking desperately for either her pacifier or a teething ring. Because the worst time had finally come.

Xiana was teething.

Teething meant two things. One was that they finally had to wean Xiana off her usual meal of mama milk and get her to drink from a bottle-something she had refused to do until now-and eat real food-another thing she had refused to do. When Squalo had first felt the little nubs coming in, he had gone to Rosalina and Anita for help. Anita told him kindly to rub a bit of alcohol on the gums. It helps numb to pain. Rosalina had sighed and told him to get her off the breast.

Easier said than done. The first day on the bottle, Xiana blew up two bottles, sent a third flying at Lussuria, who fainted upon the bottle impacting with his skull, and spent an hour blowing up till Squalo gave in and fed her. It hurt. He returned to Rosalina for answers.

This time, Rosalina had presented him with the idea of mixing. After a process she called 'milking', Squalo just had to put the milk into a bottle or mix it with food. Easy, because, "She responds to the smell," Rosalina told him. "The smell of your milk will be just what you need to get her to eat."

It had helped…a little. The first try, Squalo sat down in the living room-for once empty- and offered the bottle to her. She whined, rubbing her face against his chest. He offered the bottle again. Another whine but she looked at the offered drink suspiciously.

"It's my f*ing milk," groaned mamma Squalo. "Why won't you drink!?"

Xiana huffed. She actually huffed and reached out her small now coordinated hands grabbing the bottle and pulling it closer to her. Latching onto the rubble nipple-she winched-she began to drink. The disgruntled expression slowly disappeared. Opening her eyes, she looked up at her silver haired mother with a raised eyebrow.

Squalo stuck his tongue out at her. "You're not supposed to give me looks like your papà for another year," he complained.

She smiled and continued to drink.

That was step 1 of a two step plan. The next two steps involved getting her to eat real foods.

"Mashed bananas don't count as real food in my book," Xanxus complained when he tried to feed her said fruit mixed with milk. Xiana threw it back at him and laughed. After twelve more tries, Xanxus ordered Bel-who was busy laughing his ass off-to fed her. To the leader's rage, he did.

"To become a true princess, you must eat the peasant foods so you know the true refine foods," Bel had told her. She grudgingly ate after that.

All of this went fine.

Still didn't stop her from crying when the pain in her gums became too much. And that's where we are now.

"Here," Squalo said, dropping Xiana into Mammon's arms. "Hold her." He dropped to his hands and knees and looked under the crib. "F*! Nothing!"

Xanxus reached out and felt along the top of a high bookshelf. He didn't find a pacifier or a teething ring. What he did find was the fifty year old bottle of scotch he had hidden a few months back. Quickly shoving it back into hiding, Xanxus informed the room that there was nothing up there. He was just about to go look in the kitchen when the room fell silent.

Squalo and Xanxus turned to stare at their mist guardian in shock. The teen was standing there as if nothing was wrong, but Xiana was chewing on…

"Vooii, is that your pacifier!?"

The Arcobalenos were no longer confined to their baby form, but that did not dismiss them from the duty of protecting the pacifiers. Mammon disliked wearing his, and often left it hidden in his room. Why he was wearing it now was anyone's guess.

Xiana currently had the blasted thing in her mouth, chewing incessantly on it as tears leaked from her eyes.

"Thank god," Xanxus groaned, dropping into the rocking chair. "Until she's stopped, you're on baby duty," he ordered. "And wear the pacifier."

Mammon groaned.

* * *

Yami: And the torturing of Varia members continues. I'm working on getting a chapter with Bel up, but Bel is so hard for me to write, espically when you hand him something as percious and breakable as a baby.

Squalo: That's why I don't let him cook.

Xanxus: Or hold the Irish imported Waterford Crystle Goblets.

Mammon: Or touch the computers or other epensive electronics.

Levi: Hmm...

Fran: Can we add not touching me to the list?

Everyone: O.O

Yami: BEL! Stop molesting kids! You sick pedophile. -hugs Fran-

Bel: Ushishishi, he isn't a kid. I can molest him and Mammon as much as I want.

Everyone: O.o

Mammon: -sighs-

Kenshin: This one thinks we'll end here for today. R&R


	39. Step

Yami:...eeeeh, I got nothing to say today. -yawns-

Kenshin: -yawns- it is ratherr early.

Squalo: -yawns- agreed.

Xanxus: STOP F*ING YA-yawns-...f*.

Yami: XD lol don't own don't su-yawns-

* * *

**Step**

All around her, people were talking. Actually the proper word was arguing. And they had been arguing for awhile now. There were many people she didn't know standing in the room, all waving their hands wildly, pointing out of the window towards the rising sun. East, she told herself. Mamma says the sun rises in the east.

Speaking of mamma, he was yelling too. She didn't like it. One of the strangers was slamming his hand on grandpa's desk every now and then. He seemed the most agitated out of everyone in the room, aside from papà. Carefully, she grabbed onto the nearest object-a sofa-and pulled herself to her feet. She had watched them all doing this. Using two feet instead of hands and feet. They got places faster. She wanted to get to papà fast, before he started blowing things up like he did when he got really upset.

Taking a step, she released the couch, and began her progress towards papà.

This doesn't seem faster, she thought to herself, slipping through somebody's legs. Papà and the agitated stranger were shaking their fists at each other.

"HE'S NOT READY!"

"AND THE OLD MAN DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME!"

"Will you two stop it!? This isn't going to help!" That was the female stranger.

"Yeah, kora!" The third stranger. "Yelling at each other won't get anything solved."

"Vai!" Xiana called when she was only a few feet from papà. No one paid her any attention.

"He is only in high school!" the first stranger growled. "A freshmen! Starting it now is throwing him to the sharks."

"VOOOI! WHAT ABOUT SHARKS!?"

"Shut the f* up Squalo. And you, you were always so happy to throw the kid into any fight before this. You _made_ him fight. Why change now?"

"BECAUSE HE'S TOO YOUNG TO KILL!"

"Reborn stop it!"

She stepped over a bullet casing. Why there was a casing in here, she didn't know. She didn't care either, because there were flames engulfing papà's hands and that meant trouble for mamma and her uncles later. Whenever papà got angry enough to release his flames, mamma took her from the house for a day on the town, whether it was day or night. She enjoyed those times because she got to go to the zoo, and to parks and play with the other kids, and sometimes mamma even brought her gelato. Not a lot though.

"Both of you stop it," grandpa sighed, sounding tired. "We'll put it to a vote, who here thinks that Tsunayoshi and his Family should be brought here over the summer holidays to begin the next phase of his training?"

Four people raised their hands. Papà, uncle Bel, uncle Mammon, and uncle Levi.

"All opposed?"

The three strangers and mamma.

"Lussuria, you didn't vote," said grandpa.

"I don't think the poor kids should be brought for the bloody training yet, but they will need it soon. I'm conflicted," answered Uncle Lussuria.

"We're tied then," groaned grandpa. "How about we bring them here for the break, and let them decide."

There was a loud yelp. Everyone looked down. Xiana lay flat on her stomach, tears building in her eyes, a foot from Xanxus. Squalo stared at his daughter before looking back at the sofa, at least ten feet from Xanxus where Xiana had originally been. She couldn't have crawled over with all these people standing in the way.

With a loud sob, Xiana pushed herself back onto her feet, swayed, and then stumbled the last foot to Xanxus. He bent quickly and caught her as she fell again. The fire and anger died away almost instantly as the black haired flame wielder straitened up, hugging his sobbing daughter.

"She's walking!" Squalo yelled excitedly, hurrying over to his husband and daughter. Pressing a kiss to her forehead he hugged her, constantly repeated the phrase over and over again.

The tension in the room drained as everyone surged forward to congratulate and applaud the baby who was still crying.

The next time she took a step they caught it on camera.

* * *

Yami: There you go, she took her first step. So now we're almost done with going at the slow pace. After she meets ___, and starts to ____ better, we'll be ready to skip a year! -is tired of doing such short intervals-

Kenshin: But please remember, add-in chapters will still occur.

Squalo: So R&R


	40. Away

Yami: -eyes sparkling- I have a new suggestion for all people who love XS, it's called _No Sleep Tonight_ by Marraskuu. It is awesome! The songs fit perfectly, and Squalo is being B.A.D. -loves it-

Squalo: I thought this was the f*ing author's note, but instead it's an advertisement for sex!?

Yami: O.O it's not SEX! It's the joyful union of two soul into one for a short time.

Xanxus: sounds like marriage.

Yami: No, that's bondage. Sex is a beautiful union.

Xanxus: I prefer the bondage.

Squalo: O.O leave me out of this!

Kenshin: This one is a little worried about this conversation.

Squalo: So am I!

Yami: -evil laughter-

Kenshin: -gulps- um, don't own, don't sue...

* * *

**Away**

The crying that had filled the house for three strait hours had finally abated. It might not have lasted so long if Squalo was there. But his leaving was the reason behind the sobs. Now nine months old, Xiana was old enough to be without her mother for extended periods of times, and as such, the large amounts of missions that had been piling up, missions especially for Squalo, could no longer be ignored. He left with a quick goodbye kiss for his daughter and husband. The moment the front door shut, Xiana had started to cry.

Xanxus had tried everything. He rocked her, showered her with attention, tried singing several songs he had heard Squalo sing, gave her food, drink, and toys. Nothing worked. Finally, after three hours of listening to, "MAMMA! MAMMA!" Over and over again, Xiana had fallen asleep in her crib, face wet with tears.

Everyone in the Varia wing had hidden in their rooms when the crying had reached its peak an hour and a half ago. Now that all had fallen silent, they emerged. Rosalina came out of the kitchens, grumbling as she pushed a tea cart towards Xanxus's office. Even her advice hadn't helped in silencing the child. Now, at nine months, she was old enough to feel the full force of separation anxiety. There wasn't much that _could_ be done!

Outside, the sky darkened as a storm approached.

Somewhere in the mansion, a grandfather clock struck midnight. Xanxus stood and stretched, rather surprised that he had managed to get this much work done. Since Xiana had fallen asleep five hours earlier, all he had done was work. When the storm started two hours ago, he had expected her to start crying. Terrified of lightning she was, and had been since her first big storm.

He cast a look at his desk. There was still a good sized pile of paperwork left. Weighing the options, he decided to leave it for tomorrow and left his office, locking the door behind him as he always did. Now that Xiana could walk, there were a great many locked doors.

Often, Xanxus stayed up late working. At seven, Squalo gave Xiana her last feed, a bath, then a story-they were now reading the Harry Potter series-, and finally sung her the lullaby. After tucking her in, he would come join Xanxus, help him for an hour or two before finally going to sleep. He was always fast asleep when Xanxus came in an hour later after checking on Xiana.

The door opened silently. They kept the hinges well oiled so they didn't wake her with their constant checks. Inside it was dark except for the seconds when the lightning illuminated the sky. A soft whimpering, almost inaudible, was coming from the crib. He hurried over, almost tripping over his own feet when he realized that Xiana was awake, and crying.

She lay in her nest of blankets and stuffed animals face buried in her blankey. It was soaked with tears. When she sensed her papà looking down at her, she let out a louder whimper, and reached out a shaking hand. He scooped her up, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. She hid her face in his shirt, getting drool and snot and tears all over it. He didn't mind.

"Mamma," she whimpered. Squalo was usually the one who held her when she was scared. He had that mother's intuition that was so helpful.

"Mamma is away for work for a few days," Xanxus told her, sitting down in the rocking chair.

Xiana beat her fists against his shoulder, now yelling discombobulated words; though he was sure he heard what sounded like the start of a few cuss words. He really hoped they weren't.

He let her cry herself out. After thirty minutes of constantly beating her fists and sobbing, she finally let her head dropped wirily onto his shoulder. "Papà," she cried, little hands grabbing fistful of his shirt. He kissed her cheek and stood up. The kitchen staff had long since gone to bed. Waking Rosalina at this time would be suicide. Anita was old and needed her sleep. The only thing left to do was think of a way to keep his baby girl calm till she could sleep.

"Do you want to watch some TV with me?" he asked. She nodded, tears dripping from her eyes. It took only a moment to gather up her blanket and favorite stuffed animal-a white tiger plushy from Japan-and even less time to get to his room. Falling onto the bed, he purposefully bounced, getting a little giggle out of Xiana. He grabbed the remote and pressed a few buttons. A panel of wood moved aside, showing a flat screen, already playing a TV show.

"CSI, NCIS, Bones, or other?" He inquired, holding up a finger for each one he mentioned. She held up four fingers. "Disney movie or other?" One. "Musical or other?" One. "Children's or other?" Two. "Tim Burton or other?" One. "Nightmare, or Corpse?" One. ""Nightmare Before Christmas" it is." A few buttons later, the movie was playing on the screen and Xiana was snuggled up against Xanxus, watching it with her pacifier in her mouth.

The rain had stopped by the morning. Rosalina looked around the breakfast table as she pushed the tray laden with food in. "Where's Master Xanxus and Mistress Xiana?" The Varia shrugged. Curious, she left the food there and went in search of the Master. Not in his office, or the living room. The nursery was empty, as were the other rooms. Finally, she looked into the room he shared with Squalo. Her lips tilted up in a smile.

Xanxus was still fast asleep, lying on his bed with Xiana curled up in the crock of his arm. The TV was on, playing "Nightmare Before Christmas" on infinite repeat. Carefully, she shut the door and left them to sleep.

* * *

Yami: :D can anyone guess some of my favorite shows and movies?

Kenshin: -.- you made it obvious Yami-dono.

Yami: So very true...where's Xanxus and Squalo?

Kenshin: Xanxus dragged Squalo away a few minutes ago. This one doesn't want to know where o.o

Yami: hmmm -grabs video camera- foooooootage -evil cackle-

Kenshin: -sighs- R&R


	41. Boxes

Yami: To reviewer Min: my story isn't 'the best' mpreg but I do feel confident in saying that it is one of the better ones, possibly in the top fifty in the anime region. But that's just me and my lovely ego.

Kenshin: And what a big ego it is Yami-dono.

Yami: Thank you, now you all know the drill, don't own, don't sue, and wait till next chapter when we have the next delicious smex scene :3

Squalo: You aren't supposed to tell them!

Yami: -shrugs- eh, fair warning to all those innocent people out there (not that there are many out there -no looking at Hikari-)

* * *

**Boxes**

Squalo knew he'd been away for far too long. The mission had originally been a two day mission, but when the target fled to Japan he had followed. He managed to find and kill the target before he could get out of Japan, but by this point he was tried from three days of no sleep and constant fighting and collapsed near a high school. By some grace of god, the brats were there and after making some pretty lame excuses, they rushed him back to Tsuna's house. He woke up a day later, tired, cranky, and feeling worse when Tsuna told him they had called Xanxus.

He left the next day on an express flight to Italy with a box clutched in his hands. Tsuna had forced it on him before he got on the plane, telling him it was very important he get these things to the Varia. Without waiting to ask what was in it, he had run onto the plane moments before it took off.

Now he was disembarking, berating himself for not asking the brat more about what was in the box. It sounded like there were a lot of things in there, all rattling. He hadn't opened it though. Who knew what it was. He was ripped from his self abuse when a happy voice exclaimed, "MAMMA!" And he was assaulted by a tiny baby hugging his left leg.

"Hey baby," Squalo cooed, dropping to one knee and picking Xiana up. He kissed her nose, received a kiss on his own in return. Standing, he let Xanxus pull him into a hug and kiss. "Vooii. What are you two doing here?" he asked, as Xanxus grabbed Squalo's bag.

"Xiana wanted to pick you up," Xanxus replied as they walked out of the air port. He opened the door to a limo and let Squalo crawl in before helping Xiana in and getting in himself. "Plus I needed to get out of the house." He waved at the driver, who started up the car and they set off for home.

The ride home was filled with conversation, mostly supplied by Xiana. Her words were still just babbling, but both Squalo and Xanxus smiled whenever she stopped and said encouragingly, "Is that so? What else?" or "How interesting, what happened then?" which got a smile out of her and she continued to babble.

Returning home, the family was greeted with the maids and butlers of the Varia wing, bowing and saying with a smile, "Welcome home Mistress Squalo."

"VOOOII! F* you all!" Squalo swore, storming past them, his cheeks dusted pink. Xiana laughed, Xanxus smirked.

Thirty minutes later, the Varia were gathered in the living room, all staring at the contents of the box Tsuna had given the swordsman before he left. Cubes. Little cubes with strange designs and a place on the top. Also in the box were rings, carved with the Varia crest on them.

"The f* are these?" Xanxus demanded, picking on up. Xiana reached out and grabbed one as well, babbling over it.

Mammon reached in and picked out a letter. His mouth dropped. "It's from Verde!"

"Verde? The scientist?"

"He never writes to anyone," Mammon mused to himself, reading through the note. To the others, he read, "_Dear Varia, at the request of the tenth Vongola, I have gathered my fellows and quickly finished the work I started several years ago. Box Weapons. Each box contains an animal, weapon, or support object. To activate, put the rings on and ignite a flame around the ring. Insert into the hole in the top. These were specially made for you. I have included an extra ring and box for little Xiana for future use. Contact me via the Arcobaleno secure link for questions or requests. Complaints go to the normal place."_

Everyone stared at the rings and boxes. Upon spotting Xiana attempting to put the box in her mouth, Bel reached over and pulled it away. "No," he told her firmly. She pouted. "So we just…put the rings on…"

Xanxus was already putting his ring on and lighting the flame. He pressed the ring into the indention on the top and everyone watched, fascinated, as a form shot out and began to take shape near the door. With a roar and a shake of its mane, a liger sat there. Xiana let out a shrieking laugh, and toddled over to it, throwing herself at what to her was a life sized stuffed animal.

"A liger!?"

"The f*!"

Xanxus looked at the liger as it began to lick Xiana's face. She laughed. When it sensed its master's eyes on it, the liger looked up. The two stared at each other for a moment. Then Xanxus smirked. "I think I'll call him Bester."

* * *

Yami: YES! I added the box animals earlier than I had originally planed. Why? BECAUSE I F*ING LOVE THEM! This sets up several wonderful chapters in the future, and come on!? What kid wouldn't love to ride around on the back of a liger!? Or a shark!?

Squalo: In short, you're living out a childhood fansty here?

Yami: NO! I always want to ride horses! So I'd be over with Dino :D

Squalo: You whore.

Kenshin: How rude, Yami-dono would not whore herself out. She would woe him with food.

Yami: Yes, because the way to a man's heart is food. Remember that ladies, I have pages of proof on this -personal experiances- XD

Squalo: What. The. F*. Ever. R&R


	42. Shower Sex

Yami: Okay, two things! A) this chapter was made possible by donates from people like you. Thank you. XD no, ktina-chan gave me the idea. Thank her and her twisted little mind. 2) Boo-chan!? Are you still alive D: ?

Squalo: Just cause she doesn't review you freak out. There are thousands of reason why a person doesn't review.

Yami: T^T but Boo-chan is missing! I know it! Kidnapped! Stolen!

Kenshin: ...I think you are worrying too much Yami-dono.

Yami: -sob- shut up and do the f*ing disclaimer!!

Kenshin: O.O don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Shower Sex AKA you all asked for it!**

The sound of water running was very calming. Good thing too, because Squalo was pissed! He had gone into Xiana's room to look for something. Reaching up to the top of the shelf, he had knocked over a bottle of scotch. The damn thing shattered against his forehead. When he woke up thirty minutes later, Fran and Mammon were staring down at him. "Have a nice trip?" Mammon had asked a slight twitch at the edge of his mouth.

"Shut the f* up and clean up the glass." Sluggishly, he had stood, the two illusionists catching him when he teetered dangerously. Slapping their hands away, he stumbled away. At one point, he had to stop and lean against the wall. His head hurt like f*! Somehow, he made it to the on suite bathroom. The hot water washing over his body and the gentle sound, almost like rain, slowly dulled his headache.

The scotch had dyed his hair a lovely ginger color. He scrubbed furiously at it with special shampoo mixed with honey and oats. It kept the pesky oil off his hair for days, just incase he couldn't bathe for some reason.

Sighing, he dumped more shampoo on it. His second rinse. Rubbing viciously, he kept to his work, listening to the wonderful sounds of falling water.

About this time, Xanxus was leaving his office, pissed, tired, and a bit horny. He had been stuck in his office since last night working on the same goddamn problem because there was no one else in the whole f*ing mansion who could deal with this problem! So not only had he missed dinner, but he'd missed out on sleep, breakfast, lunch, and it was another three hours until dinner was served!

With a groan, he walked into his room, intent on taking a shower. The sound of water already running reached his ears. He had a quick mental image of Squalo taking a shower, naked and wet in the claustrophobic inducing shower. The pain in his head dulled as a fair amount of blood traveled south. Suddenly feeling better, he stalked –for Xanxus never _strolled_ anywhere –into the bathroom and began to strip off his clothes. He was down his shoes, socks, tie, and shirts by the time he reached the shower door and threw it open.

A blast of cold air hit Squalo. He shivered, but didn't stop washing the conditioner from his hair. He knew who it was. He knew what the man wanted. Personally, the idea sounded appealing as well.

A rough, calloused hand grabbed his chin and forced his head to turn. A husk voice whispered in his ear, "Fancy meeting you here." The shark didn't get a chance to reply. Chapped lips –he really needed to get Xanxus to use chap stick –smashed against his own. He returned the kiss, eagerly letting Xanxus invade his mouth with his slick, tongue.

While he kept his pet shark occupied at the mouth, Xanxus's free hand roamed, starting at the shark's neck and slipping downward, gently scratching, probing, and prodding at every sensitive part of his lover's body. Squalo let out a trembling moan, his owns hands fisted against the wall of the shower. When Xanxus shoved a leg between Squalo's own, brushing against Squalo's sausage (XD sorry ktina-chan, had to) he gasped, his back arching.

Xanxus chuckled darkly, and pulled out of the kiss, drawing a mewl of loss from Squalo. He slapped his wive's bare ass. "Stop your whining, you sound like a slut." His wandered hand found a hard little bud. Pinching it, he smirked as the action made Squalo cry out. "Odd, I didn't think you'd gone so sensitive since the last time we'd done this." His fingers left the abused nub. Squalo keened. "Or is it that you just want to be f*ed like a lowly whore?"

"X-xanxus," Squalo panted, "P-please."

"Thought so, slut."

He managed to let out a small laugh, "Only for you A-aaah Xanxus!" Either too eager to wait, or eager to torture, Xanxus had grabbed hold of Squalo's throbbing member, giving it two hard pumps. Squalo's hips bucked, doing nothing more than to rub against Xanxus's still clothed erection.

"What was that?"

"F-faster," Squalo begged.

Xanxus tsk-ed and went slower, whispering evilly, "Now, we can't you having all the fun, can we?"

"Xanxus!"

For every two hard fast pumps Xanxus did five agonizingly slow. While he worked on that, his lips and talented tongue were leaving a line of love bits training from Squalo's jaw, and down his throat. He stopped at the pulsing spot of the swordsman's neck, and licked it before biting down none too gently. Squalo threw his back, crying out again.

All of a sudden, Xanxus pulled away. Squalo fell, weak kneed to the floor of the shower. Keening in a wanton fashion, he looked up at Xanxus, a look of betrayal on his face. His face was flushed red, and he was trembling. "W-w-why the f* did you s-stop!?"

His answer came in the form of Xanxus striping off his soaked pants and boxers. The taller man knelt before Squalo, and leaned forward, his lips pressing against Squalo's bruised ones. Squalo reached up, wrapping his arms around his ebony haired lover's neck. The fingers of his right hand tangled in the wet strands. Pulling away, Xanxus smirked down at Squalo like a lion looking down at it's pray.

Squalo stuck his tongue out at him in a rather childish act of defiance. "We c-can't do anything like t-this," he said, as his brain started to put itself back in order. The words were barely out of his mouth before he found himself in Xanxus's lap, and the man trailing rough kisses down his neck and chest. "A-aaahn!"

"Still sound like a slut," mumbled Xanxus. Squalo slapped his back earning him a grunt. "Well I wonder what will happen if I do this?" A hoarse cry erupted from Squalo's throat as Xanxus took one of the rosy nipples between his teeth and bit down. Pain and pleasure sent shivers down his back, and he squirmed, grinding his hips against Xanxus's.

Xanxus was finding great amusement in his current activity. The first bite had been for fun, but then he got a mouthful of milk. The milk was warm, sweet, and had a delicious taste to it. Much better than the regular milk that was sitting in the fridge. He gulped it down, smirked and said teasingly, "Maybe I should keep you having kids. A house full of them, and as much milk as I want."

Squalo punched him.

Laughing, Xanxus turned his attention to the other nipple, getting another mouthful of the milk. He swallowed that before grabbing Squalo's silver sheet of hair and tugging his head down so their lips mashed against each other. While he distracted Squalo with this, his hands wandered towards the silver haired man's backside.

Usually, Xanxus tasted like a mix of alcohol, and musk. Now there was a sweet milky taste as well and Squalo drank it up. His tongue fought against Xanxus's, failing to win for dominance, but he managed to make Xanxus moan as he grinded their hips together again.

"You know, we still need to use those Christmas presents," Squalo murmured into the kiss.

"Later," Xanxus said, moving slightly so Squalo's back was pressed up against the corner of the shower, still settled comfortably in Xanxus's lap. The hands that had been traveling down finally reached their destination and before Squalo knew what had happened Xanxus had driven a finger into his unprepared ass.

His initial yell turned into wanton mewls and whines as Xanxus moved the finger in an out, then scissoring in a second one, and a third. He was torturing Squalo again, moving quickly, then slowly, smirking as Squalo keened and begged for more. He wasn't even hitting the prostate yet.

"P-please," Squalo begged.

"Please what?" Xanxus asked, though he already knew what the other man wanted.

"Damn it! F* me!"

"F* you what?"

Squalo's face turned bright red. He tried to hide his face in Xanxus's shoulder, but the evil leader grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him "F* you what? Gently? Fast? Slow? Hard? Like you're a f*ing whore? Be specific, because you'll get what you asked for."

He mumbled something. Xanxus grabbed his hips and ground them against his own. "I didn't hear you."

"F* ME HARD! F* ME HA-AAAAH! NNNG!" He threw his head back before letting it fall against Xanxus's chest as, without warning Xanxus rammed into him, completely sheathing himself in his second-in-command. "Nnng, mmm." Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes, washed away instantly by the water that had long since gone from hot to warm.

"You like that?" Xanxus asked. He lifted Squalo up, then slammed into him again, revealing in the screams that emitted from his lover. He thrust in again, and stars appeared in Squalo's sights. He heard Xanxus moan, and himself yell out Xanxus's name. "Louder trash." Squalo complied with the demand. In return, Xanxus hit that pleasure spot each and every time he thrust in.

His mind had long since stopped functioning. Now, Squalo just hung on, crying out Xnaxus's name as loud as he could each time the man went into him, and keening wantonly every time he pulled out. They could have gone at this for hours, and he wouldn't have known. The pain and pleasure of it all was too much, and endless cycle and in and our, screaming and whimpering. His breaths were coming in shorter, faster pants now. The coils of heat in his lower stomach were coiling tighter and tighter.

Finally, Squalo let out one more hoarse cry, and hit his climax. Xanxus followed a few thrusts later, whispering Squalo's name softly, almost lovingly. They sat there, letting the now freezing water wash away all evidence of their love making. Lazy kisses were exchanged before Xanxus finally got tired of being hit with cold water and pulled out of Squalo, stood, and turned off the water.

In a show of affection that in the old days were very rare, Xanxus picked Squalo up, and carried him out of the shower before dumping him in the tub and grabbing a towel for each of them. He had just thrown Squalo his and wrapped the other around his waist when the door burst open. Both of them jumped and stared in horror as Xiana toddled in. She looked up at Xanxus then Squalo lying in the bath tub. For a moment, she seemed to consider something. Then she turned and toddled over to the bathtub. After a bit of struggle, she managed to climb in. Once she was settled in Squalo's lap, she looked over at Xanxus. "Bawf!"

* * *

Yami: Translations! Bawf: bath. She's a baby! Don't expect her to talk well for awhile.

Squalo: -blushing- th-tha-that...y-you...I-i-i...

Yami: :3 what? Saying that you liked it? Well no surprise. I am getting better at writing these aren't I?

Kenshin: -embarrassed- yes.

Yami: Now, Squalo-chaaaaaaaan, would you pleeeeeeease let me put you in a maids outfit?

Squalo: F* NO!

Yami: An apron?

Squalo: You want to put me in just an apron! F* NO! YOU TWISTED PERVERTED CHILD!

Kenshin: This one agrees.

Yami: I am shocked at you two! Fine, I'll just have xanxus rape you next time.

Xanxus: Yes!

Squalo: NOOOO! T^T

Yami: HA! R&R


	43. Tigon Shark

Yami: Introducing Loki, the tigon!...yes, yes, clique, I know. But don't knock it till you read. Explanation at the end of the chapter.

Squalo: Have you no pride?

Yami: Do you want me to put you in the apron?

Squalo: NO!

Xanxus: YES!

Yami: Then shut up, or I'll let Xanxus sex you senseless.

Kenshin: O.O Yami-dono! Don't be crude!

Yami: Don't tempt me Ken-kun. Don't own, don't sue everyone.

**Poll time!!!** What would you prefer for the Dinner, Bath, Or Me First? scene? The choices are:

1) Squalo in a maids outfit. Complete including under garments, hair prettied up, and maybe makeup.

2) Squalo in nothing up an apron.

3) Other, include details.

Asnwer in PM or review. Don't be shy, I won't think you're perverted because the biggest pervert I know (my best friend) is passed out on my floor XD The more answers, the faster the chapter gets written X3

* * *

**Tigon Shark**

The first time Xiana released her box animal it was by accident. She had been playing with her box and ring which were both given to her by her sleepy babysitter. Fran, Mammon's understudy, was half asleep as he watched Xiana played with the weapons. Everyone released their box animals at least once a day to give them exercise. It hadn't taken long for the Varia to become attached to their animals, even Mammon, who still had Phantasm. The little reptile got along fine with Mammon's box animal, which was of the same species as him.

Xiana adored all the animals. It had become a game of hers to catch every animal every time she saw it. Bester was the easiest, as he usually just lay near papà and slept, much like papà did. He would grunt when she pounced on him, then lick her face, which sent her into a fit of giggles. Mamma's shark, whom Xiana had named Fishy, tended to go in search of her upon being released, and returned to Squalo's side with her on either his back or hanging by her shirt that was in his jaw.

Back to the present. Fran had just about fallen asleep when there was a flash of light, and a loud meow that was certainly not made by Xiana. Opening his eyes, he looked down and spotted a new addition to the room's occupants. A little white tiger was lying there, mewing pitifully as it attempted to stand. The black stripes were bold against the white fur as were a few spots on the cub's chin and tummy, but lighter than on normal tigers. Some of it's fur stuck up on the back, almost like a cowlick, and the webbing between the paws was more pronounced.

"HA! A tigon shark," Fran joked. He yawned, rubbed his eyes, and upon looking back at the spot where Xiana and the cub had been, he discovered they were gone. "XIANA!" Jumping to his feet and cursing his master for making him watch the kid, he ran out of the room in time to see a tail disappearing around a corner. He hurried over. There was no one there. "Damn."

"Fran?" He jumped and turned around nervously. Mammon stood there, watching his underling with suspicious curiosity on his half hidden face. "What are you doing?"

"Playing hide and seek with Xiana," he lied honestly.

Mammon opened his mouth to say something, paused, shook his head, and left.

Fran took this as his queue to hurry up and find Xiana before someone with a bad temper found him.

He checked the living room. Bel was there, an empty box weapon on the table by his foot.

Xanxus was in his office. His own empty box weapon suggested that Bester was out. Fran didn't see the giant hybrid beast sitting around.

Squalo was in the kitchen wearing an apron and talking animatedly to Rosalina as they made biscotti. Squalo tossed him an apple upon noticing the young boy standing in the doorway. "Here kid, a snack. Does Xiana want anything?"

"We're playing hide and seek," he lied again.

The two mothers laughed as though the game was a private joke. Turning back to kid, Squalo said, "Just look for the animals. They're all out."

Don't I know it, Fran thought before leaving. He had finished the apple before he came across Lussuria, who was busy trying to decide if he wanted to wear the green shirt or the pink one tomorrow. His equally gay bird was absent and Fran didn't stick around to help.

Levi was the next one he found, and he was meditating. Fran knew better than to get within a few feet of the man. He didn't like Fran and Fran didn't like him. Simple as that. It could also have something to do with the fact that the old man sucked at dealing with children.

Twenty more rooms, five extra hallways, and multiple dead ends later, Fran felt the need to cry. If Squalo or Xanxus found out he'd lost their daughter, he'd be in so much trouble! Why couldn't they have gotten Master to watch her, he thought, tears gathering at the edges of his eyes. Why ask a kid to watch her!?

Now openly weeping, Fran pushed open another door and looked inside. He blinked. There, lying against Bester with her new tigon shark cub and multiple other animals cuddled around her, was Xiana. She was fast asleep. For a moment, Fran wanted to shake her awake for scaring him so much. He didn't. Yawning, he decided on another plan of action.

"Has anyone seen Fran?" Mammon asked, floating over to the other Varia, who were sitting down to eat dinner. "He was playing with Xiana a few hours ago…"

"He came into the kitchen for a few minutes," Squalo mused, looking up at the ceiling as though it would tell him where the missing kid was. "Speaking of which, Xiana is probably hungry by now." Pushing away his food and getting up, Squalo followed the psychic out of the dining room in search of the missing children.

Fifty rooms, twelve hallways, and multiple dead ends later, they were worried.

"Nothing bad could have happened while they are in the Varia area," Squalo said, more to himself than to Mammon. "But in the other parts…other Mafioso come and go…"

Mammon was getting nervous at the thought of his youngest and most promising student wandering around the mansion near Mafioso not of their Family. The boy didn't know when to keep his mouth shut and had a bad habit of crying.

They pushed open the last door on the last hallway and looked in. Looks of relief overcame their worried expressions. Squalo pulled out a camera and started taking pictures.

Fran and Xiana were curled up against Bester's chest, using the large beast as a pillow. Cuddled around them were the other box animals, and a new one was sleeping between them. Even as the two watched the littlest cub yawned, stretched, and turned over, moving closer to Xiana.

Smiling, the two older males shut the door and left the kids to their nap.

* * *

Tigon: Opposite the liger in terms of parents, the tigon was more common in the late 19th early 20th century. The males are smaller than male Ligers because they aren't stuck in the prepuberty stage (means that Bester will grow as long as he lives and can't reproduce) Male tigon's also can't reproduce, so any later mating will be done with male lions or tigers, creating ti-tigons, or li-tigons. Same with ligers. Male tigons will produce a small mane that isn't very noticable.

Yami: If you want more info, go to wiki.

Kenshin: So, Xanxus has a liger and Xiana has a Tigon?

Yami: Yes, she has a bit of sky flame, with storm and rain as well. Children often inherit a flame type from parents, and as Xiana's parents have very different flames, she gets them all. She's a perfect combination of them, I thought it was appropriate.

Kenshin: But what about future children?

Squalo: O.O F* NO! I AM NOT HAVING ANYMORE!

Yami: If there are anymore, they'll side with one parent or another.

Squalo: NOOOOO! T^T NO MORE KIDS!

Kenshin: Is it really a tigon shark?

Yami: XD no, that's a private joke with meh sistas! Fran just said that cause Baby Loki has a cowlick. Tigers are natural water cats and have a bit more webbing of the foot.

Kenshin: That makes sense. R&R


	44. 1st Birthday

Yami: Okay people, this is how things stand.

Maids outfit: 2 (wolf-chan, and Eva_angel-chan)

Apron/ one piece of clothing: 2 (boo-chan, and ktina-chan)

Other: 2 (Yorin-chan and Tsumi-chan) Bunny suit/nurse outfit

Squalo: In short, you bitches are ALL TRYING TO KILL ME!!!

Yami: No they aren't, stop that. In short, all of you who didn't vote, for f*'s sake, vote! We need tie breakers! I'll do them all in the end, but I need an order here!

Kenshin: On a side not, don't own, don't sue.

Yami: Yes! And it's Xiana very first birthday! YEAH!

* * *

**1st Birthday**

"Mamma!" Squalo looked down at the little body standing next to him. A pair of brilliant silver eyes stared up at him, a smile nearly splitting her face in half. "Mamma!" she exclaimed again, and reached her small arms up.

"Hey baby," cooed Squalo, bending down. He lifted her up, summoned his shark, and placed her on the shark's back. "Why don't you go see papà while mamma makes your birthday cake you're not supposed to know about."

Giggling, Xiana let Fishy take her out of the kitchen and off towards the mansion's main living room, where papà, her uncles, and multiple other people were putting up decorations. "Papà! Papà," she cooed, holding her arms up to him.

Xanxus put the ribbon down and plucked Xiana from Fishy's back. She touched her nose to his, and giggled. "What are you doing here on Nanny?" Xanxus inquired, referring to the shark. He refused to call it Fishy, but Nanny didn't seem too inappropriate for a mafia assassin to say.

"Pay!" Xiana ordered. "Pay, pay." She was suddenly on Bester's back, and the liger was trotting away. "PAPÀ!"

"Go play with grandpa while we set up the party you aren't supposed to know about."

Bester trotted with Nanny floating next to him all the way to the ninth's office. People were talking in raised voices. Bester scratched at the door. The loud voices in the room fell silent. Someone opened the door just a little. The three stared at whoever it was. "It's Mistress Xiana Ninth!" a man's voice called.

"Send her away; we need to finish this meeting now!"

The man turned back to them and made a shooing motion with his hand before slamming the door shut. Xiana stared at the closed door before bursting into tears. Bester and Nanny turned and left in search of someone else to keep the child entertained. They passed Fran at one point, but when they headed in his direction, he had vanished. Basil also pulled a Houdini, as did anyone else they came across. By this time, Xiana was screaming from her place atop Bester's back.

Nanny and Bester looked at each other before turning and heading back to where Xanxus was. "Does she need a nap?" he asked, not turning around when they appeared again. "Go put her down then."

They tried Squalo next, and his response was no different. Sighing, Nanny took Xiana's shirt in his mouth and dropped her in the crib, and left, as Squalo was summoning him. Bester settled down to nap by her crib till he was summoned back as well.

"There, done," Squalo sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. There on the counter was the perfect cake, fit for a large number of people with a single candle at the top. Nodding to Nanny, he recalled the shark to his box, ignoring the disgruntled snort. "Okay, now to move it. VOOOIII! FAGGETS!" Several butlers popped up. "Take the cake to the party room. Don't you dare drop it or else, got it?" They nodded, settled the cake on a moving cart, and carefully began to push it towards the waiting party. Squalo quickly cleaned up, threw off the apron, and followed them.

The last streamer was just being put up when Squalo entered. The entire room was decked out in party decorations that would keep a child happy for hours. Already there were many guests gathering in the room, most notably the allied Families. The Ninth entered just as Squalo spotted Xanxus, a large number of men following after him. "Where's my darling granddaughter?" asked Timoteo, looking around expectantly.

"She needed a nap, so I had Nanny put her down," Squalo explained, motioning Xanxus over. "We'll get her now." He left the room, Xanxus following right after him. "She was acting really fuss," Squalo informed his boss and husband. Xanxus nodded and pushed open the door to the nursery.

The room was silent and dark, despite the brightness of the day. Upon entering, the two heard an angry hiss that could only have come from little Loki. Curious, as the cub had never hissed at them before, the pair approached the crib. Xiana was curled up under her mass of blankets and stuffed animals. Loki was standing over her, hissing, all of his fur sticking up. When Squalo reached in to pick up Xiana, the cub scratched his hand and spat.

"VOOOII! The f* is wrong with you cat?" the swordsman demanded, pulling his injured hand back. Blood dribbled out.

Xanxus reached in quickly, catching the kitten by the scruff of his neck and holding him up. Loki continued to try to attack, but to no avail. "Get her now."

Squalo leaned over and picked up Xiana. She didn't respond to his touch or call when he said her name. Loki was yowling now, and with a quick twist, he managed to catch Xanxus on the wrist. With a yelp, the Varia leader dropped him. Loki dived at Squalo, who nearly dropped Xiana, startled. Instead, he found her wriggling out of his hold, and after a moment she dropped to the floor with a soft thud. Standing stubbornly, she stalked away, Loki hurrying after her, leaving her shocked parents behind.

It doesn't matter how angry you are, if a noise makes you curious, you go towards said noise. That is how Xiana found herself wandering to her own party, and falling flat on her butt when everyone called surprise without warning. She stared at them as though everyone in the room was insane. Upon spotting a good many people who had disappeared or ignored her, she turned and toddled back out of the room, leaving shocked guests in her wake. A yowl later and she was toddling back into the room, standing as strait as a baby her age could, with an air of smug disinterest around her.

She didn't pay attention to anyone, making a point to ignore everyone till she had reached the throne like chair in the middle of the room. Usually, Timoteo was sitting in it, but as he was busy talking to some associates, Xiana decided that it would be her chair for today. She clambered onto it, Loki leaping up after her. Settled, she crossed her arms, and glared at the gathered crowd.

"I do believe she is angry at someone," Dino announced to the room at large before walking over to the birthday girl. He knelt in front of her and smiled. "Hiya sweetie, are you angry at Uncle Dino?"

"Ino!" She cooed happily, reaching out for him. Loki purred as Dino scratched behind his ears and placed a kiss upon Xiana's forehead.

"Thought not." He sat down, and started up an animated conversation with the child, who happily replied in babbles and random words.

The ignored crowd turned when Squalo and Xanxus both walked in, cursing, and nursing their injuries. "What happened?" inquired one of the allied bosses.

"F*ing cat attacked us," snarled Xanxus, offering his sliced wrist to Lussuria for healing. The cut was just a little too close to an artery for comfort. The sun guardian tsk-ed and quickly healed him up before commenting on Xiana's rather rude entrance. "Hell if I know what's up with her," he grumbled shooting an annoyed look at his daughter, who had crawled down from her chair and was sitting on Dino's lap now. "She wanted to play but I was busy, so I sent her to the old man."

Timoteo coughed. "I sent her away." When he caught the angry looks from said child's parents, he explained he'd been in a meeting.

"She appeared a little while later crying," Squalo mused, tapping his chin with a finger. "I figured she just needed a nap and told Nanny to put her down."

"Is that so?" Dino asked loudly, for all accounts still talking to Xiana. "Everyone ignored you? Well that wasn't very nice." The baby nodded and babbled a few words. "Yes, and on your birthday too. For shame on them."

"Oh shut the f* up, Bucking Horse," snapped Xanxus, a vein in his forehead throbbing. "How the f* do you expect me to understand what she f*ing wants all the time!" But Squalo had forgone the cussing and hurried over, dropping down to sit next to Xiana.

"Xiana, mamma is sorry," he said sincerely, holding out his real hand. "Mamma was busy getting your cake ready. Forgive mamma?"

Xiana looked at Squalo, looked at Dino, who smiled and nodded, and finally cooed and reached out for Squalo. She gave his a peck on the cheek and buried her face in his shoulder, content. One by one, the others who had ignored the child came up and requested forgiveness. She granted it to all, though she gave her father a rather pointed glare.

With that out of the way, the party started up again in full swing. Xanxus and Squalo both got their dues when Xiana grabbed two handfuls of cake and threw it at them with perfect accuracy. Her laughter echoed through the house.

* * *

Yami: This is why my parents never gave us a surprise party. A) I know when people are lying to me and B) if it involves sneaking around and lying to us, Hikari would start crying and I would cuss people out.

Kenshin: So it would be a fail.

Yami: -nods- And all you people who didn't vote, VOTE! So I can write the next scenes!!!

Kenshin: R&R everyone -goes back to watching final season of Yu-Gi-Oh with Yami and her sisters- Pass the popcorn please.

Yami: -hands it over- Why is it we see more hot shirtless guys in a 4Kids production than in Reborn!. Tsuna in his underwear and Ryohei don't count! I mean like Squalo, Xanxus, Yama, and Goku. I want shirtlessness! DX

Kenshin: -pats Yami on the shoulder- Don't worry Yami-dono, you'll get you nakedness later.


	45. Grades

Yami: The results are in! It's the maid outfit first, followed by apron, nurse, and then bunny suit XD

Squalo: F*. No.

Yami: But Squalo-chaaaaaaaaan the readers asked for it.

Squalo: I repeat. F*. No!

Yami: F*. Yes!

Squalo: NO!

Yami: YES OR ELSE! I'll do something much worse -evil laughter-

Squalo: -groans- f* me.

Yami: Don't worry, Xanxus will. Just wait.

Squalo: -glare- don't own, but go ahead and sue her.

Yami: OoO how mean!

* * *

**Grades**

_Xiana: age 13 months. Able to walk, and chatter in babble or sign language. Exceptional aim and arm strength. Swings any object given to her in sword fashion. Has a bad temperament. No mental problems noted._

_Language skills: E_

_Motor skills: O_

_Cognitive thinking skills: A_

_Manners: P_

_Perception: E_

_Temperament: D_

_Health: E_

_Suggestions: Have her take more naps, and increase her experience with the outside world for better temperament. Seek out memory and mental skill building games and toys. Work on her manners, do not spoil her. Completely wean her from breast milk and introduce her to more real foods. Introduce her to more children her own age._

_Notes: Feared leaving parents upon being dropped off. Threw a tantrum when they tried to leave. Rude to or ignored other children. Threw toys. Managed to set fire to the curtains. More interested in being by herself. Refused to share at snack time. Refused to take a nap. All in all spoiled._

Squalo glared at the paper in his hand. They had dropped Xiana off at a special center for child development for a day to have her evaluated incase of mental problems. The only one the specialists saw was that she had a bad temper and was rude to the other kids. Not unexpected. She lived with the Varia. She was raised like a princess. They all knew this, but to see it on paper and see the grades they gave her irked Squalo more than he wanted to admit.

_Introduce her to more children her own age._

Well how the f* could they do that? No babies lived in the manor, apart from Xiana, and daycare was out of the question! Her habit of spontaneous combustion was something they could just not break. And Loki had forced himself out of his box an hour after Xiana had left, and spent the day crying and meowing.

"What we need to do," Xanxus said after reading the paper, "Is to find other Families with young children. That way, the children will be under the same circumstances as her, and we gain a strong ally."

"Ushishishi, the prince doesn't like that idea," Bel said. He was sitting on the floor, happily playing with Xiana. Now that she was older, it didn't worry the parents so much to let the psycho near her. "She must be surrounded with royalty that is befitting of her stature."

"She needs friends," Mammon explained to the prince. "If she doesn't, she won't be able to handle relations later in life. She's already shown she has a bad temperament, like the Boss and Squalo. No friends will make things worse."

The group lapsed into silence. Xiana, sensing the tension in the room, stood up and toddled over to Xanxus. It took her a moment, but soon she had climbed up onto his lap and was grinning toothily at him in a very Squalo like way. "Papà!" She pointed at him, holding her thumb up and her index finger pointing at her old man's forehead. "Scoppio!" (1)

Throwing back his head, Xanxus laughed. Bel grinned wolfishly. Squalo snickered. Levi rolled his eyes. Mammon chuckled. Lussuria cooed, and exclaimed, "Il nostro piccolo angelo(2)!" (The point in using Italian here and for what Xiana just said is to point out that she speaks Italian only, and a bit of sign language)

After their laughter had subsided, Xanxus pecked his daughter on the cheek. She returned the kiss before slipping off his lap and toddling over to Squalo, and giving him a kiss too, before plopping back in front of Bel to continue their clapping game.

"The Antonios have a young daughter," said Lussuria after a moment. "And a son a year older than her. We could introduce them."

"No boys!" growled Xanxus, but Squalo rolled his eyes.

"Vooii, she's only a baby! It doesn't matter what gender she hangs out with right now!"

Grudgingly, Xanxus accepted it, and went to talk to Timoteo about other possibly playmates for his daughter.

* * *

(1) bang- like a gun shot

(2) our little angel.

Yami: This and next chapter set up a relationship that will be there for the rest of the story and play a MAJOR role in parts. For all of you who were worried, Xiana will have friends.

Kenshin: This one is happy Xiana-dono will have friends.

Yami: Yeah, friends are important, as you should know Ken-kun.

Kenshin: :)

Yami: R&R everyone, and I'll start working on the maid chapter!


	46. Friends

Yami: Okay, here it is, the friendship chapter you all have been waiting for since yesturday. I know I made you all wait for so f*ing long, but you love me too much to kill me.

Kenshin: Yami-dono seems very confident today.

Yami: Eh, I've got jasmine green tea, Air Gear, and the preview for the next Sherlock Holmes movie up. I'm good. But seriously, will Robert D. Jr really make a good detective.

Kenshin: That is for you to decide, Yami-dono.

Yami: Tsk, whatever. Don't own, don't sue. And I finished the maid chapter. I stayed up till two in the f*ing morning writing it so you all better f*ing adore it! And it is my BEST ONE YET! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kenshin: -.-' sigh, I'll get the wand of sanity -pulls out metal baseball bat-

THUNK!

* * *

**Friends**

Since her birth over a year ago, Xiana had very little experience with children her own age. While out with mamma during papà's angry phases, she had seen and chatted with a few babies. No more than a hi, or other salutations, though at times if they insulted her she snapped back with brutal words. She was used to dealing with people at least eight years older than her, usually more. The youngest person she had had prolonged contact with was Lambo and I-Pin for Christmas, and she didn't even remember them!

Now she found herself facing two children, a boy with rich blonde hair and chocolate eyes who was at least a year older than her. The second was a smaller girl, with the same blonde hair but it was curly, and she had green eyes. She stared at them. They stared at her. Off to the side, their parents were watching a little nervously.

Finally Xiana opened her mouth. To the adults it was no more than the usual infant babbling. To the other babies, it registered as, "Vaai! Who the f* are you?"

"I'm Ariel," the girl exclaimed excitedly. "That's my brother, Isaac." Isaac didn't speak.

"Is he stupid?" asked Xiana.

"No he just doesn't talk much," replied Ariel. "Who are you?"

"I am Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola," said Xiana.

"Oh," said Ariel.

"Why are you in my house?" asked Xiana.

"Mamma brought us," replied Ariel.

A pause.

"Wanna play patty cake?" asked Xiana.

"Sure," replied Ariel. The pair sat down and happily started up a game of patty cake. Isaac sat down and watched them carefully.

The adults visibly relaxed. Now that their children had apparently accepted each others' presence, they settled down to talk.

"Is it difficult handling two young children?" inquired Squalo, as politely as he could. The Antonio Family was one of the power houses under the Vongola. The Ninth had given the Varia specific instructions to be polite to them, and he enforced his order with a threat of punishment should they do or say anything insulting. As such, Levi and Bel were shipped out on a mission.

"Isaac is a quiet child, so he's never caused much trouble," laughed Maria. She, like her children, had the beautiful blonde hair, curled –like her daughter's. Her husband, Dmitri, was the one with the chocolate eyes. "Ariel does all the talking anyways, so it evens out."

"Wasn't it difficult when you were pregnant?"

Seeing that the 'wives' were going to be discussing children and babies and pregnancy and all that unmanily stuff, Xanxus and Dmitri walked over to the wine cabinet. Xanxus poured them each a cup of scotch –for real men drink scotch –and sat in the far corner, still in view of their families, but out of the way. Dmitri started talking about soccer –or football –which Xanxus had never really loved but did enjoy watching every now and then.

An hour or so passed. Xiana and Ariel were toddling around the room, giggling and laughing while Isaac followed silently in their wake. Maria and Squalo had moved on to talk about the ways their got their children to take a bath. Xanxus and Dmitri were arguing over Italy's failure in the Olympics the previous year.

So engrossed in their talks, neither group noticed when the littlest group of three snuck out of the room and vanished down the hall. It was a good ten minutes before Squalo realized it was too quiet and looked around. He groaned. "They're gone."

"Are you sure we should be out here?" Ariel inquired, looking around nervously.

Xiana nodded. "Yeah, I walk around all the time, and never get yelled at." She jumped and grabbed a door knob, pulling it down and opening the door. Pushing it open she walked in to reveal her room. "This is my room," she explained. "I've got better toys in here."

Isaac was the only one who was able to open the toy chest and get out of the toys, which he did, all of them. The three sat around and began to play.

Thirty minutes later, the door opened again and in ran Xanxus. He sighed upon spotting the three and called into the hallway. "They're in here!" And so the rest of the visit was spent in the nursery, with the kids playing with the mountain of toys.

The visit finally ended. Maria promised to bring the kids over for another play date soon. Squalo suggested they all visit the zoo some time. Dmitri and Xanxus talked about something in low whispers so their wives couldn't hear. Xiana waved good bye to Ariel and Isaac as they left, calling after them, "See you later trash!"

"And to think we were worried," sighed Squalo, once they were all in front of the TV, watching CSI.

"She was f*ing politer than either of us," mumbled Xanxus, yawning slightly.

Xiana snickered, and clapped as a man was decapitated.

* * *

Yami: And we have here a better look into Xiana's personality and future habits. AKA, using trash to refer to people, and having foul language.

Kenshin: That's to be expected with her parents though.

Yami: I know, I know. Well, next chapter will either be the sex -I'm a little undecided right now- or a glimpse into what will be a very important part of Xiana's life in the future. I'll let you all decide.

**1) Important chapter!**

**2) SEX!!!**

I know it's a little pointless to ask, but for the hell of it, I will! R&R


	47. Fairy

Yami: My god, I am honestly surprised.

Kenshin: As is this one, as this one assumed your readers happened to be pretty perverted.

Squalo: They are, they just decided to be up-perverted yesturday.

Yami: By an overwelling odds, the chapter for today is the informative one. O.O shocked does not even being to describe what I am feeling right now.

Squalo: Hungry does, I can hear your stomach from across the room.

Yami: T-T I want bacon!!!

Kenshin: don't own, don't sue.

Yami: So tomorrow, Monday, the shittiest day of the week, will be made happy with porn. -nods- that sounds reasonable. XD

* * *

**Fairy**

Xiana stared transfixed at the TV screen, eyes wide, and face filled with awe. Adults were running around the mansion, getting the final preparations for the Christmas party ready. Soon, Squalo or Xanxus would come in and get her to put her in the annoying dress grandpa had gotten her just for the occasion. A lovely silver dress this year, "To match her adorable eyes!" Doddering old coot. But for now, she was captivated by the woman on the screen.

Mao Asada, third best figure skater in the world was doing a beautiful routine. The finals were today, and showing live all over the world. The little girl's eyes followed every move, speechless by the beauty of it. I wanna do that! She thought excitedly. I wanna be a fairy!

"Where's Xiana!? We have fifteen minutes!"

"She's in the living room, watching the figure skating finals, Mistress Squalo."

"VOOOOII! FOR F*&K'S SAKE! STOP CALLING ME MISTRESS!"

The TV suddenly went off, just as Asada landed a beautiful double axel. Xiana let out a wail of despair, and began crying as her mother snatched her off the floor and hurried to the nursery to get her ready.

One tantrum and ten minutes later, Squalo was running to where everyone else was waiting, Xiana bouncing on his hip. "She got fussy," was his only explanation as he let Xiana slid out of his old and onto her feet. Giving him a reproachful look, and toddled over to Xanxus and buried her face in his pant's leg.

A loud voice from the other side of the door announced their names once again. As one, the Varia entered with the ninth, his outside adviser, and Basil. This year, Xiana walked in herself, clutching her papà's and mamma's hands.

Once set up with a bottle of juice, she wandered off, having no interest in being cooed over by a bunch of foolish adults. Looking around, she noted with much dissatisfaction that Ariel was not present. Isaac was. He walked over to her, bowed politely, and grabbed her hand, leading her away from a gathering crowd of sub-bosses. "Upset?" he inquired in his usual one word way.

"I was watching a fairy dance," Xiana exclaimed in her babbling way. "She was really good and she did a cool jump and was flying across ice!" Then her mood soured. "Then mamma turned it off and put me in the stupid shoes!" She glared down at the uncomfortable dress shoes she was forced to wear. Stopping suddenly, she plopped down and began taking them off, throwing the first and then second over her shoulder. She didn't look around when someone tripped over one of the shoes and face planted into a waiter carry several wine glasses.

Isaac watched, amusement in his eyes but not on his face, as she struggled back to her feet and took an experimental step forward. She slipped and slid on the recently waxed floor in her socks. Isaac caught her before she fell. "'m fine," she scoffed, brushing him off and standing carefully. When she didn't fall, a smile spread across her face. Cautiously, she pushed off with one foot, and slid about two feet forward. "It's just like the fairy!" she exclaimed clapping her hands.

The corners or Isaac's mouth twitched.

Moving as gracefully as her year old body could, Xiana twisted her leg, and pushed off, attempting the spin she had seen the fairy lady do. She got about halfway through, and tumbled when she failed to stop.

Isaac pulled her up. "Arms."

She tried it again.

Rosalina looked around, horrified. Squalo had asked her to keep an eye on Xiana tonight. Now that the child could walk, she tended to get into places she shouldn't. And with so many Mafioso here tonight, letting her wander around wasn't the best idea. "Lady Xiana," she called, the picture of a worried nanny…which she basically was. "Lady Xiana!"

A man tapped her on the shoulder and pointed helpfully towards the large windows that led to the balcony. Standing in a space between the windows and wall of watchers was Xiana and Isaac. The Varia princess was laughing gleefully as she spun around and skated around in her socks. Like a little ice skater. "Master Xanxus! Master Squalo, come see this!" she exclaimed, excited.

Lussuria popped up at a second later, video camera in hand. Squalo tilted his head to the side slightly, watching his daughter skate. "She's got wonderful balance for a year old. We could start her on the sword posses sooner than expected."

"Why not throw in ice skating lessons while we're at it," Xanxus suggested.

"Well rounded…should we add dance lessons? They'll help for her balance and coordination."

"Sure, horseback riding too?"

"Might as well."

"You two are going to get her into all those balance sports, aren't you?" inquired Mammon, walking over.

"Yes," the two replied.

"That'll be expensive," the psychic mumbled. "Lessons, skates, dance shoes, outfits, a horse, saddle, equipment…" He drifted away, grumbling about too many things to buy, too much money.

Squalo and Xanxus rolled their eyes and looked back towards Xiana, who had just managed to land a jump only to fall on her butt. They hurried over as she began to sniffle.

* * *

Yami: And now I have set the stage for what will be one of the most important stages when she hits her teens. I myself never did figure skating, I just took regular lessons, but books, internet, and a friend will help me make sure things are right.

Kenshin: Why is figure skating so important?

Yami: A) cause I like it! B) cause Xiana needs something to be feminine in. C) cause it trains the body and mind. D) -spoiler-

Kenshin: Oh! Well that explains everything!

Yami: It does indeed. R&R everyone, and sex is tomorrow, so be sure no to be late.


	48. Dinner, Bath, or Me?

Yami: TA-DA! The best sex scene I have ever written! -epic point and pose with water crashing in the background- and my first attempt at writing someone sucking another guy off.

Kenshin: O.O how vulgar!

Yami: They asked for it!!!

Squalo: Nooo, they asked for sex. Me sucking Xanxus off is not sex.

Yami: I could do worse sweetie, don't tempt me.

Squalo: Bitch.

Yami: F*er!

Kenshin: -sigh- don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Dinner, Bath, Or Me?**

In the Varia, there are many rules. Rule 1) Xanxus is always right. Rule 2) If you ever think Xanxus is wrong, refer to rule one. Rule 3) Don't make a bet with Mammon. Despite the third rule being repeated over and over again, people still made bets with the twisted kid. It was always a mistake, but you always came back for another try. Why? Because you always think you'll be lucky at least once. Mammon has never lost a bet before. Never!

This is how Squalo found himself in this situation, staring at Lussuria, who was holding up a maids outfit. "F* NO!" the shark exclaimed, upon seeing the frilly outfit. "I am NOT wearing that!"

Mammon smirked. "You lost the bet. You have to. Or else you have to do…The Penalty." Squalo jerked back, a horrified look on his face.

The Penalty. The worst of the worst punishments! Installed by the First Vongola on his most sadistic day ever! Just the mention of the words made grown men tremble, and strong men cry. The worst punishment a man could face!

With his options, Squalo sighed in defeat and looked at the maids outfit again. It was black with white lace trim and an apron attached to it. The skirt was short, and the shoulders slightly puffy. When Lussuria offered it to him again, he grabbed it and the bag of extra the gaytard handed him. Anything was better than The Penalty. He'd rather f* a corpse than do The Penalty!

Mammon and Lussuria waited impatiently as Squalo got dressed in the bathroom. They could hear him cussing and complaining. "F*! This skirt is too short. Does he really expect me to wear the underwear?" "Yes!" "F*!"

Finally, thirty-six minutes later, Squalo emerged. Well…half way. He stuck his head out, his cheeks a lovely shade of pink. "Do I have to come out?" The lip gloss on his lips reflected the light wonderfully and gave him a sexy pouting look. Mammon and Lussuria nodded, the latter with a camera in hand. Gulping, Squalo stepped out of the bathroom. Lussuria started taking pictures, cooing and squealing in excitement. "Vooi, the skirt is too short!" he whined, trying in vain to pull the skirt farther down his legs. It stopped mid-thigh, showing off shapely legs half covered by the leather of high heeled boots. Aside from the obvious shortness, the outfit fit him perfectly. A little too perfectly.

"Why do you have a maids outfit in my size!?" demanded the embarrassed shark. Lussuria just laughed.

"Now go show Boss," Mammon ordered. His face was starting to hurt from smirking so much. And the look on Squalo's face was priceless. "That's the second part of the deal."

"Come on Mammon! Can I just walk around all day in this!?" Squalo practically begged. "If I go to him wearing this, he'll f*ing rape me!"

"He'll do it either way. Your choice, go see Boss or take The Pen-" Squalo practically ran out of the room, but not before shouting back, "Keep Xiana busy!"

Xanxus didn't bother looking up from his papers when someone knocked on the door. A gruff, "Come in," was all he gave the intruder. The door opened and whoever it was came in and shut the door softly. He kept signing the goddamn papers that were the bane of his existence. For several long minutes, the person didn't say anything, just stood there, fidgeting. Finally, Xanxus looked up, "What do yo…" His voice died as he stared at the scene before him.

Squalo stood in front of the door, in a gothic Lolita maids outfit with a tight fitting bodice and white lace accenting the edges. A white lace apron was tied around his waist and draped over the skirt, which barely reached mid-thigh. From his knees down, black leather boots clung tightly to his slender legs. His hair was down as usual, and the only thing different –and it drew Xanxus's eyes –was the lip gloss that accented his lips and made them glow.

It took a few seconds for Xanxus's brain to catch up with his eyes. Once it did, all the blood rushed south. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally shut it and kept it shut.

The silver haired swordsman blushed and said, in a slightly nervous voice, "Dinner, bath, or me first master?" Damn you Mammon, he mentally growled. He chanced a glance at Xanxus. His face heated up at the lustful look in the man's deep red eyes. When he motioned for Squalo to come closer, he did so, a little hesitantly.

"Mind telling me why you've decided to give yourself over to some sick fantasy and offer yourself to me?" Xanxus asked in a lazy fashion that hid his growing desire.

Trembling slightly, Squalo said, "I lost a bet. And my punishment was to be your maid for a day."

"And you aren't normally?" He looked Squalo up and down, noticing Squalo's failed attempts to pull the skirt further down his legs. All he managed to do was give Xanxus a quick flash of Le Pearle panties. "I guess not in such a get up. Are you wearing a bra?"

His face turned a deeper red. "Yes."

"Hmmm, that explains your sudden boob growth." Reaching out, he grabbed Squalo's waist and pulled him down so the swordsman was saddling him. "That just means more clothes for me to tear off."

Squalo closed his eyes, trying hard to regain control over himself. All he wanted to do was storm out of the room and kill a certain twisted teen. But he knew he couldn't. He could feel Xanxus's clothed erected even through the multitude of skirt. If the look in Xanxus's eye was anything to go by, he wasn't going anywhere for a _long_ time.

He was dragged from his thoughts when he felt a hand snake under his too short skirt and squeeze his ass. He yelped. "I think I'll have you first, then a bath and you for dinner." He squeezed again, before reaching up and tangling his fingers in the silver strands. A quick tug and their mouths connected.

Normally, Squalo let Xanxus into his mouth right away. Today, he didn't, suddenly feeling playful. It wasn't often he had Xanxus's complete and undivided attention for a whole day. He would be a whore later.

Xanxus pulled back and gave Squalo a look. "When the f* did you decide to be playful?" He slapped Squalo's ass and smirked when the man yelped again. "Master says open wide."

"Yes master," Squalo replied, leaning down till his lips touched Xanxus's. As ordered, he opened his mouth, and moaned when Xanxus's hot tongue darted in, and began to explore every corner of his mouth. While one hand was still tangled in his hair, the other was teasing the edge of the lace panties. He smirked into the kiss when Squalo shivered, and wiggled a bit, inadvertently brushing his own erection against Xanxus's clothed one.

They pulled apart with an audible pop. Squalo was panting slightly. Xanxus was thinking about what torture method he should use for the first round. Sensing what his husband was thinking, Squalo asked in a silky voice, "What does master want now?"

Almost unconsciously, Xanxus said, "A blow job." As he thought of something else. Squalo had climbed off Xanxus and got down on his knees before Xanxus realized what he had said. Though by the time Squalo had undone the buckle and unzipped his pants, Xanxus decided to let him keep going. He hadn't gotten a blow job in quiet a while.

Xanxus groaned a little when his erection was finally freed from its prison. His body shivered when he felt Squalo hot breath on his throbbing member. "F*," he hissed, "start already."

"Yes master," Squalo murmured before sticking out a little pink tongue and licking the erection. Xanxus hissed. Smirking, he licked again, the flat part of his tongue dragging agonizingly slowly across the head. He licked again, his tongue dancing along the length. Without warning he took the whole length into his mouth, getting a deep throated moan from Xanxus.

His breath was picking up. He could feel his heart beating faster in his chest as his second in command sucked and ran his tongue up and down his length. How long had it been since he had that talented mouth around his cock. Too long, now that he thought about it. Reaching down, he gripped Squalo's head, trying to decide if he wanted to push the man any further. From past experience, Squalo could take a lot, but it had been awhile, who knew how much he could swallow before he choked.

Squalo himself was doing fine. The musky, exotic taste was sending electric signals strait to his groin, making him wish he had Xanxus's cock up his ass instead of in his mouth. But orders were orders, and the rare taste was absolutely delicious. Swallowing hard, he pulled back again, before taking it whole again. His tongue danced along the length, feeling the pulsing heat. He had found out long ago that if he licked along the large vein, he'd get the loudest moans. Teasing it from bottom to top, he smirked as Xanxus let out a loud moan. How long will it take to make him come this time, Squalo wondered as he ran his tongue along the underside.

The fingers tugged at his hair, pushing lightly. "F*!" grunted Xanxus. "Faster whore."

He obliged, this time running his teeth along the length as he pulled back then plunged right back in. Xanxus shivered. He was panting now.

Xanxus stared down at Squalo, noticing not for the first time how erotic it looked having the man's head between his legs with his cock full in his mouth. While that talented mouth and tongue worked, his eyes looked up at him every now and then, playing peek-a-boo behind thick lashes. When Squalo gave an extra hard suck, Xanxus finally came with a shudder and hissed curse.

Squalo pulled away, swallowing all the salty cum in his mouth. Leaning forward, he licked the member clean. Licking his lips, he sat back at looked up at Xanxus. "What's next master?" he asked with a slight smirk.

It took a moment for Xanxus to get his breathing right again. Once he did, he motioned for Squalo to get back on his lap. Once he was settled, Xanxus leaned forward, capturing his lips. Squalo opened his mouth, letting Xanxus once again invade his mouth. While Xanxus's tongue made quick work of Squalo's mouth, his hands were busy elsewhere. One was massaging the shark's ass while the other had slipped into the dress, fingers dancing over pale skin.

"Remind me again why you're wearing such an annoying outfit?" Xanxus demanded as he pulled away. He tugged fruitlessly at one of the shoulders of the dress, but the outfit was too tight to allow much movement. Grumbling, he began to trail kisses down Squalo's jaw and neck, biting and licking every few inches.

"Cause Mammon made him," whispered Squalo. He leaned his head to the side and back, giving Xanxus full access to his neck. "And if I didn't wear it…" he hissed and moaned, back arching forward as Xanxus bit a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. "…didn't wear it, he'd make me do The Penat-Shit!" Moaning, he shifted, grinding his hips against Xanxus's in a wanton fashion. "F*."

A smirk formed on Xanxus's lips as he nipped at Squalo's collar bone, before saying, "This dress needs to go now." The hand busy with Squalo's firm ass wandered up to help the other unclip the bra. Squalo keened and mewled wantonly at the loss. The clip finally came undone. Pulling his hands out from under the dress, he gave Squalo a hard slap before pulled at the zipper in the back down. Once open, Xanxus pushed the sleeves off Squalo's shoulders and began to kiss him again, his own talented tongue working lower and lower as he peeled the dress top away. Squalo's lewd whines and cries were enough to make him hard all over again.

He finally peeled the top half completely off and was greeted with the wonderful sight of two erect nipples just asking to be played with, and beautiful pale skin begging to be kissed. Not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth, he happy bit down on one nipple, teasing the other with a free hand. Squalo let out a loud moan, his back arching forward as Xanxus licked and nibbled on one nipple, pinching the other till it was red and full of blood. This time he didn't get a mouth full of milk, but the whines and moans from Squalo were gift enough. After a moment, he switched nipples, now sucking and biting the other, while massaging the one he had abandoned. Squalo's back arched more and more, grinding their hips together and forcing them closer and closer.

Pulling away, Xanxus watched in amusement as Squalo whined and mewled, his hands clutching Xanxus's knees, forcing his chest out. "Lovely view trash," he whispered leaning forward. He licked and nibbling Squalo's ear lob, while his fingers dancing along Squalo's exposed flesh. He reveled in the noises coming from Squalo, enjoying how the man was panting now, his hips constantly moving so their erections rubbed against each other. Xanxus's own was fully free, and Squalo's only contained by that thin lace.

"X-Xanxus," panted Squalo, letting out a weak whine. "P-please."

"What was that? Did the maid want something?"

"Please," Squalo begged again, ramming his hips against Xanxus's. "Please master!" the whine in his voice was driving the Varia leader crazy, He contemplated taking the man now, but decided to torture him a little more. Grabbing his real right hand, he held it up.

"Stick that in your mouth and ready yourself if you want it so bad." His other hand slid under the skirt and grabbed his throbbing length. He gave it two hard pumps, getting a loud cry from the man attached. "You want something, got to work for it." Dazed, Squalo popped three fingers into his mouth. When he pulled them from his mouth, they were slick with saliva. "Get to work. I aint going to do anything but play with this." He gave Squalo another hard pump just to make his point clear.

Mewling and panting, Squalo reached back, his hand going under the skirt and into the panties. The first touch near his entrance coupled with a hard squeeze from Xanxus made him throw his head back, moaning.

"Hurry the f* up you whore." His free hand slapped Squalo's ass. "You want me in you, then shove a finger up your ass."

"Y-yes master," Squalo mewled, and shoved the finger in. It felt weird, much different than when Xanxus prepared him. He was ruthless, and rarely gentle in sex. As such, when he prepared Squalo, he usually just thrust in a finger, then two before he was ready, and a third before he was ready for that one. All so he could shove his cock in and f* Squalo faster.

In and out. Before he knew it, he was shoving a second finger in, moaning while Xanxus smirked down at him, a predatory look in his eyes. The third finger slid in. His eyes were clouded with pleasure by this time, both from what Xanxus was doing and what he was doing to himself. He would have gone longer, but Xanxus grabbed his wrist and forced him to pull out. Whining, he rubbed against Xanxus, wanting, _need_ his boss in him.

"F*, you sound like a whore. What is it you want?"

"You master a-ahhh!" Xanxus had given him a hard, almost painful pump before releasing him. "Please!"

"Please what?"

"Please master! Inside –I need…" His voice failed him.

"That's better." Xanxus shifted under him, and before Squalo could get his head on strait, something was pushing at his entrance, and without warning, slammed into him. His cry echoed through the room. Xanxus grunted and grabbed his hips. He brought him up quickly, then slammed him down. A few more times, then he released Squalo. "You do the work, slut."

Xanxus leaned back and watched, amused, as Squalo sat there panting for several seconds, before pushing himself up and letting himself drop back down, practically impaling himself on Xanxus's hard member. He could guess Squalo had hit his prostate, because the shark shudder and moan in ecstasy and hurriedly repeated his previous action. Again and again, he moved, up and down, riding Xanxus, who was enjoying the erotic look of pure pleasure and euphoria on Squalo's face. Reaching up, he pulled Squalo down hard, their lips mashing together. Squalo continued to move his hips even as he wrapped his arms around Xanxus's neck, kissing him as fiercely as Xanxus kissed him. The coils of heat in the pit of his stomach were growing tighter and tighter.

"Say my name trash," breathed Xanxus. He grunted as Squalo slammed down again. "I said say my name you f*ing whore!"

"XANXUS!" Squalo cried as he rammed himself down.

"LOUDER!"

Squalo screamed his name as loud as he could. The coils in his own stomach were almost at the breaking point. A few more times and he'd be gone.

Hands grabbed hold of his hips, and Squalo cried out, his back arching to the breaking point as Xanxus's cock slammed against his prostate harder than ever before. Stars exploded in his vision. He was high on the feeling. Another hit, and another. With a final scream of Xanxus's name, Squalo came. A few more thrusts and Xanxus followed. He didn't remove himself though, instead content to pull Squalo down and kiss him senseless.

When Squalo pulled away to breath, Xanxus smirked up at him. "I think I'd like my bath now." As he said this, he bucked his hips. Squalo bounced a little, letting out a wanton, "A-aaaah!" "Think we can get there without anyone seeing?"

Still panting, Squalo smirked softly and said, "They're…probably all…on the other…side of…the house." He gulped. "By now."

"True." He stood, hooking his arms under his wife, who squeaked and quickly wrapped his arms around Xanxus's neck, and legs around his waist.

"Shit!" he cried. "F*! This feels weeeeeird! Xanxuuuuus!"

Xanxus ignored him and strolled into the nearest bathroom. After turning on the water, and got in and without waiting for the tub to fill up, sent Squalo back to heaven again.

-Later that night-

Squalo was fast asleep, curled up next to Xanxus. His maid outfit had been discarded after their last love making session –fifth one that day. He now lay completely naked under the sheets that pooled around his waist. Next to him, Xanxus was awake, reading a book. A knock on the door. "Come in."

Mammon floated in. His eyes roamed over the scene, taking in Squalo's disheveled appearance and obvious lack of clothes. "I take it everything went well today."

"Yes, good job." Xanxus leaned down, grabbed his pants, and pulled out a large wad of bills. He tossed it to Mammon, who caught it excitedly. "I'll tell you when I need your evil skills again."

"Of course," said Mammon. "I'll always win a bet I already know the outcome of." He left, snickering.

Xanxus smirked and cast a look at Squalo. Still fast asleep. Good. No need for him to know Xanxus knew the exact bet between the shark and the psychic. It made things so much easier.

Leaning back, he returned to his book, one hand reaching out to rub Squalo's back. In his sleep, the shark purred.

* * *

Yami: There we go, my best attempt at sex yet, and my first attempt at oral sex! A special request came in awhile ago for Squalo to ride Xanxus-winks- you know who you are. Here it is. Though not really from Xanxus POV, I would have elaberated more but Xanxus decided to be difficult that day.

Kenshin: -is out cold-

Squalo: -fainted awhile ago-

Xanxus: -is cuddling up with Squalo-

Yami: F*! Wake up you bitches!

TYL Xiana: They won't wake up. Mamma and papa always sleep later after sex.

Yami: The fact that you know this is disturbing, but ok. Anyways, since you're here, what's up?

TYL Xiana: Uncle Lambo hit me with the damn gun so here I am, annoyed. My lesson got interrupted again! Bastard.

Yami: I'm sorry. But aren't you happy to see your parents before ____ appears?

TYL Xiana: XP they're not as lovey dovey now, which is a nice change, but then I'll go back and they'll be being all romantic. Ick. It's disgusting all because _____ went and _____.

Yami: -nods seriously- well ____ does _____ well enough.

TYL Xiana: XD don't remind me. VAAAI! R&R YOU F*ING WHORES!

Yami: XIANA! DON'T BE RUDE TO YOUR LOYAL FANS!

TYL Xiana: XD

BTW: The underwear mentioned is a rather expensive brand of undies. I hate the proper word for what they are, so underwear they shall remain!

Toitsu: Aka, Yami hates anything but normal underwear.

Yami: SHUT THE F* UP! HOW CAN PEOPLE WEAR THONGS!? THEY LOOK SO F*ING UNCOMFORTABLE!! -ranting-

Toitsu: -covers Hikari's ears- see you all later.


	49. Start

Yami:...okay, I've got no witty remarks for today. I'm just too tired.

Kenshin: You stayed up till three, of course you're tired.

Yami: STFU! I was drawing! Xiana demanded to be drawn! -failed-

Kenshin: -sigh- don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Start**

"Mamma!" The cry sounded exasperated. That didn't stop the child from moving into the position her mamma had just shown her. Squalo walked around and around her, nudging her hand a little higher, and pushing her left foot forward more.

"This is the basic stance," he said in a lecturing voice he normally used with his novice students. "You'll start every fight in this stance, as it provides solid support if the opponent attacks first, or enough kick off for you to lunge forward."

Dropping into a hunched position, he gently grabbed hold of her raised hands, and began to maneuver them. "Like this. This is a very basic swing. We'll get more into that later. Right now, move your body forward, and shift your back foot."

She did as she was told. Together, they went through the first four of the seven basic movements. Four hours later, Xiana was whining. "Nap!" she ordered, when Squalo was about to start on the fifth. "Nap! Nap! NAP!"

Sighing, he stood up, and lifted the little girl into his arms. "Fine." They left the dojo. Xiana was fast asleep before they reached her room. After tucking her in, and turning on the baby monitor, Squalo went to Xanxus's office.

"We got four out of seven done," he informed the man, dropping onto the couch in the office. "She's a fast learner. You can start her on guns when she's three, if you can find a gun with hardly any kick back."

Xanxus didn't even look up from his paperwork. "I'm not starting her with a real gun. At two we could start her on a toy dart gun, get her aim up."

"Then a BB gun?"

"We'd have to special order it small enough for her to use."

"We knew we would."

"When will she start on real swords?" Xanxus asked.

"Depending on how good she does with a wooden one? Four, possibly five," said Squalo.

"That early?" asked Xanxus.

"Better early than later," said Squalo.

"And her other lessons?" asked Xanxus.

"I asked Ariel's mother, she said she'll start Ariel on dance at four, ice skating and horseback riding at five," said Squalo.

"Easy enough," said Xanxus. He put down his paperwork, and looked over at Squalo. The man was lounging on the couch, one leg dangling off, the other bent, ankle wedged into the space between two cushions. He had pulled off his shirt, leaving the sweat to gleam on his pale skin. He looked perfectly delicious. "How long will Xiana sleep?"

Squalo blinked, and looked over at him. "Hmm…about an hour, two if we're lucky."

A feral smirk appeared on Xanxus's face. "I think I'm ready for a break, care to entertain me?"

A seductive smirk spread across the shark's face. "Sure," he purred, "Always ready for a break."

Bel and Mammon stared at the door, a little nervous. Did they really want to go in?

A thud. A moan.

Mammon turned away, his face slightly red. "Okay, I'm leaving!" He hurried away, Bel hot on his heels, though for another purpose. The psychic had barely shut his bedroom room when Bel pounced.

Lussuria sighed from the living room. "I think I'll go shopping. The house is too noisy today."

* * *

Yami: Because Bel can get away with sexing Mammon and molesting Fran, cause he's a prince XD

Kenshin: That really isn't fair.

Yami: Hey, every prince needs a hermen.

Kenshin: A) you spelled it wrong. B) O.O

Yami: -snickers- R&R folks.


	50. No

Yami: -grumbles- I need to stop staying up till two in the f*ing morning.

Kenshin: -yawns- it's your own fault zzzzzzzzz

Yami: F* me...damn it. Don't own, don't sue. God, I need a nap.

* * *

**No**

"No!"

"I said you can't have the f*ing cake."

"NO!"

"Stop saying that!"

"NO! NO! NO!"

"F*!"

"Ushishishi, perhaps Boss doesn't know how to handle a talking baby?"

"SHE'S NOT TALKING! SHE'S REPEATING THE SAME F*ING WORD!!!" roared Xanxus. For the last hour, he had been at war with his daughter –now eighteen months– over a piece of cake. She wanted it. He wouldn't let her, and had told her to go play. That's when the no's began.

Where's Squalo when you need him? Xanxus thought to himself.

"Too bad Squalo's on that week long mission," Lussuria sighed, putting together a bowl of fruit to tempt the child. "It would be so easy to get her to calm down with him here."

"Shut. The. F*. Up," snarled Xanxus.

Lussuria put the bowl in front of the irate baby, and offered her some on a plastic children's fork. "Come on Xiana, open for uncle Lussuria," he cooed.

Xiana snarled in a wonderful imitation of her father and slapped the fork away. It clattered to the floor. "NO!" she shrieked, now slamming her fists down on the highchair table. "NO! NO! NO! MAAAAMMMMAAAA!"

"Ushishishi, the princess is not satisfied with a peasant feeding her." Bel took another fork from the counter –they kept a lot out, as this wasn't a rare occurrence– and speared a piece of strawberry. "Will the princess eat for a prince?"

Xiana glared at him through tear-filled eyes. "NO!" Flames were gathering around her fists now.

"What if the prince promises to take you swimming later?" Even Bel wasn't above bargaining with her.

She paused, looked at him with suspicion.

"The fruit has just as much sugar as the cake," he informed her. She chomped down on the strawberry and swallowed it whole. Sighs of relief sounded through the kitchen.

"MORE!" she demanded. Bel caught another piece of fruit. She gobbled that down too, and reached for the bowl. Bel handed it over. Smiling, she began to happily pile the fruit pieces into her mouth.

"Slow down," Levi said lazily, not really caring. He and Xiana _still_ didn't like each other, though at least they were tolerating each other more.

Lussuria handed out bowls of fruit to everyone. Xanxus glared at his. Rabbit food he called it. Eating healthy was Squalo's damned idea. When visiting the baby doctor last week, the woman had suggested that they start her on healthier foods, instead of milk, and whatever else they were feeding her (Squalo honestly didn't know what people were feeding his daughter when he was gone, as he was more and more now.) So to keep things fair, now everyone was to eat healthy. Xanxus hated it.

Lussuria had just sat down when there was a choking noise. Everyone looked around…and promptly began to scream. Xiana's face was turning purple, a piece of fruit lodged in her throat.

"What do we do!?" squawked Lussuria, panicking.

"I don't know!" exclaimed Bel, looking around as though something would pop up and tell them what to do.

"Where's Squalo!?" asked Mammon. "Rosalina!? Anita!? SOMEONE!?"

"DO SOMETHING!" Xanxus roared!

As if waiting for the order, Levi got up, grabbed Xiana and placed her stomach down across his forearm. Four quick strikes to between her shoulder blades, and they heard the baby gasp. Another two strikes and she spat out the murderous cherry. Tears filled her eyes once more, and she started to cry.

Gingerly taking Xiana from his thunder guardian, Xanxus and everyone else stared at the man. "How did you know what to do?"

He shrugged, "I had a baby cousin who choked once. Her mom did that."

"Good job," Xanxus said gruffly. Xiana sniffled and murmured a soft "'ank qu."

* * *

Yami: Ta-da the reason I hate cherries. F*ing murderous fruit.

Kenshin: zzzzzzzzzzz

Xanxus: -sleeping with Squalo and Xiana- zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toitsu/Hikari: zzzzzzzzzz

Yami: F*. R&R, and for godsakes, if any of you are talking to me via the FF mail thing when it's obviously late over here, tell me to go to bed or I'll stay up all night, and then I'll forget to double check the chapter's spelling and grammar and things and probably say something f*ing stupid.

-yawns- night.


	51. Zoo

Yami: Hey peeps, I has a litttttle issue going on at home. You know those days where you sleep late, get woken up by your sister shoving a piece of bacon in your face and all you want to do is go back to sleep, but the BACON is calling to you and mom only makes it once every few months! So you get up, get the bacon, and go to update when BAM! F*!!!! Computer won't start up. The laptop with five additional chapters is down because teh wire took a suicide pill and stopped working. The words F* SHIT! don't begin to explain my fustration.

Kenshin: Don't worry, updates will continue daily, but Yami-dono has to rewrite some of the chapters and she's pissed. So pissed she didn't realize she's reached 50 chapters and won the bet.

Yami: AND...wait WHAT!? I DID? -looks- F* YES! I WIN! I WIN! 50 DOLLARS AND FOUR MANGA ARE MIIIIIIIIIINE!

Squalo: Ignoring the fact that you all share your manga anyways. -claps- nice.

Yami: F* YOU! SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED!

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

Yami: OH! And since I have to write updates on either our older sister's or our dad's laptop, ALL LEMONS AND LIMES ARE CURRENTLY ON HOLD! D: Don't kill me! but if oru sister catches me writing that on her computer I AM SCREWED! And if DAD finds me writing one...well...lets just say you won't see an update for about a month. So be patient and wait please.

* * *

**Zoo**

It had taken a lot of work to get here today. Months of begging, weeks of preparations, and hours of getting ready. Finally, _finally_ they were going to the zoo. As a family. Usually it was just Squalo and Xiana, though more recently, Ariel, Isaac, and their mother were thrown into the mix. But not today. Today it was just family. Not Family. Just family.

"I hate you," Xanxus told Squalo seriously as he pulled on a simple black t-shirt with the phrase, "I'm Right, You're Wrong, End Of Discussion" on it. Lussuria's idea of a joke.

"Stop your bitching," snapped Squalo, trying in vain to braid his hair into a tight coil. It was hot outside. He didn't feel like getting heat stroke because his hair was being a bitch. "A little help here?"

"F* no! Ask Rosalina!"

"She's preparing the rooms for the brats!"

The brats, as they would forever be called, were due to arrive tomorrow. It was one of the reasons Squalo insisted they all go today. He wanted a family day. That and Xiana wanted to go to the zoo. Her exact words a month earlier was, "Go to f*ing zoo!" Squalo and Xanxus had laughed, Timoteo wasn't impressed.

"I was hoping to introduce her to polite society when she started talking," sighed the old man, even as he gave Xiana a bowl of gelato.

"You still can," snickered Squalo. "Just tape her mouth shut."

Now they were finally going. If his hair would just listen to him!

"Just put it in a ponytail," said Xanxus, fixing another belt around his hips. If he had to dress normal, he'd make it an odd normal. Three belts seemed ideal; it hid the fact that he had two guns hidden on his person.

"I'll look like a f*ing girl!!!"

"You already do. Now put it up or I'll shot it off!"

Grumbling, Squalo grabbed a hair tie and in a quick motion tied his hair up. He glared at his reflection. He might as well put on a sun dress and high heels. He looked so much like a damn girl with his hair up. Sorry for all you cross-dressing fans. No girls' clothes today. Instead, he threw on a plain blue t-shirt, and a pair of loose blue jeans with sneakers. Even the Varia had normal clothes…they just never wore them.

A knock on the door. "Are you two ready?"

"Weady? Weady?"

After grabbing the baby bag in the corner, they exited the room to be greeted with granddaughter and grandpa looking at them expectantly. "Yes we're ready," sighed Xanxus. They left the mansion, getting into a normal car. (Xanxus: A Bugatti Veyron is NOT normal! It goes for $1,700,000!!! Yami: So? I like it! :D And I remolded it for you so it can fit the baby!) Timoteo sat in the backseat with Xiana buckled safely in her car seat while Squalo and Xanxus sat up front, Xanxus driving. Timoteo and Squalo looked highly nervous about this.

Luckily, they made it to the zoo without any accidents or even near misses. But poor Squalo and Timoteo stumbled out of the car, both a little green. "Wimps," Xanxus chuckled, taking Xiana and her baby bag from the car. Timoteo got the picnic basket while Squalo took his daughter from Xanxus. At least she had enjoyed the ride.

"Please don't teach her to drive," requested Squalo as they got in line for tickets. Today they were not Mafioso. They were not assassins; they were not killers, or business men. They were a family out for a day at the zoo.

"Like you drive any better," Xanxus retorted.

Squalo stuck his tongue out.

"Three adults, one child," Timoteo told the woman behind the glass. She ran it up, accepted the money, and handed over the four tickets.

It took twice as long to actually get into the zoo. All their bags needed to be checks, and the security guard who was checking them was an old woman. She eyed Xanxus's suspiciously and gave his bag another check before sending them on through. Squalo and Timoteo were laughing by the time Xanxus reached them, fuming.

"You do look like a delinquent with those goth clothes on," said Squalo.

"It's not goth! It's comfortable!" said Xanxus.

"You've got multiple belts, a skull and cross on wrist bands, and earrings in. You look goth," explained Squalo.

"Shut the f* up," he snarled, ignoring the scandalized looks of the people around him.

Deciding it was time to get off this dangerous topic, Timoteo asked if they should get a stroller. "Yes!" they both exclaimed. Fifteen minutes later, they were on their way to look at the monkeys. Both Squalo and Xiana were very excited. There were new baby monkeys.

They stopped for lunch at noon, and rested on a giant lawn with a bunch of other families. All around them, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, brothers and sister, were talking happily. There were many women with a blanket thrown over one shoulder, obviously breastfeeding new borns. Some kids had gotten up and started to play tag. A group of school kids were listening to a teacher telling them of the legend of how turtles came to be.

"This is…nice," Squalo said, giving Xiana a bottle of juice and a bowl of fruit. She glared at the cherries, and picked them out before starting on the rest of the fruit. "We need to do this more often."

"Hmm…" Xanxus grunted noncommittally. He was lying down, eyes closed, and arms crossed behind his head. It was hot out, and the shade and nice breeze were welcoming, especially since he had been stupid enough to wear black. He'd never make that mistake again.

Timoteo smiled. It was nice. To get out of his duties to the Family and just spend time with family. It had taken years to get him and Xanxus back on speaking terms, and to think all that they had really needed was something to both love. And it had come in the form is little Xiana. Speaking of Xiana. "She's walking away, should we stop her?"

Squalo shook his head, though his eyes followed her like a hawk. "She should be fine."

Xanxus had opened his eyes as well, and was monitoring his daughter as she toddled over toe group of children. The father of the children had a very mafia like air about him, but it was easy to see he, like the Vongola family, was just out for a day with the family. His wife cooed upon spotting Xiana. "Hello sweetie, what's your name?"

"Xiana," she said. Walking past the mother, she plopped down and began to babble with the two children sharing the blanket. A moment later, all three stood up and wandered over to another group of children.

Her parents smirked. "A natural born leader," said Squalo.

"She'll be a fine Varia head," said Xanxus.

"And the strongest," added Squalo.

"Of course, since we'll train her right," agreed Xanxus.

"And she's trying to lead her army of toddlers against the school children," Timoteo commented lazily. The Varia leaders whipped around. Sure enough, the school children, freed from any more lectures, were laughing down at the now large congregation of babies in front of them. At the front of the toddler army stood Xiana, who was glaring at the leader of the school children, a boy with bright blonde hair, blue eyes, and a Germanic accent to his words.

Squalo stood up, as did a number of other mothers, only to have their husbands hold them back. "Watch," Xanxus said, a smirk forming on his lips. "This is getting interesting."

"The itty bitty baby want to go see the ducks?" asked the German boy. A large number of the toddlers behind Xiana nodded. About ten feet behind the school children was a pond, with ducks, and turtles, and swans. It was the apparent destination of the toddlers.

"Wet fough," demanded Xiana.

"You gotta pay a fee," said German. "For all of you. A euro each!"

"No!"

"Then you don't get through," and with that, German turned to his friends and started laughing.

Glaring, Xiana motioned for the toddlers still on blankets on either side of the school children to stand. They all did. A moment later, chaos erupted as toys ranging from rattles to bottle to plush or wooden blocks rained down on the school children. They high tailed it back to their teachers, wailing. The path free, the toddlers continued to the pond, and began to play innocently as though they hadn't just assaulted kids six times their age with toys.

The parents were staring with a mix of horror and humor at the scene. Xanxus and Squalo were out right laughing.

"We need to come here more," Xanxus said, once he had stopped laughing.

"Told you so," said Squalo, wiping moister from the edge of his eye.

Their good mood was short lived as a second later there was a splash followed by a panicked, "VAAAI!"

Timoteo sat back and watched as his son and son-in-law took off to save their daughter from the pond. Ah, the joys of being a grandfather.

* * *

Yami: -sighs- I've wanted to do a chapter like this for a long time now. Only just managed to write it.

Squalo: Bullshit, you ahd it written last week.

Yami: -hits Squalo- as I was saying...Don't worry my loves! ktina-chan, I'll slip over to a friend's house and write your special chapter sometimes within the next week or two. So fear not! Hopefully, the new wire will arrive soon, I'll charge up the laptop, and get back to writing the smut chapters I know you all love.

Squalo: So f*ing wait!

Yami: -hits Squalo again- I SAID STOP F*ING CUSSING AT THE READERS YOU WHORE!

Squalo: -smuggly- only for Xanxus.

Yami: -.- Keeeeeeen-kun! Do the ending thing! I don't wanna be near Squalo when he's like this! -leaves-

Kenshin: Yami-dono! I don't either....eeerrrr R&R! -leaves quickly-


	52. Bloody Welcome

Yami: Yo! Okay, this is the second to final chapter before the three-four year skip. That's right a skip. Do you really want me to take forever writing every year of this story? No. I thought not.

Kenshin: There will be ONE more chapter Yami-dono.

Yami: F* I still need to rewrite that one. Okay an appearance by TYL Xiana in which she scares her parents and Family XD that's next chapter, THEN the skip.

Kenshin: -sigh- why didn't you put those three chapters on the flash drive T^T -had to listen to Yami bitching-

Yami: Because I'm stupid! Happy!?

Kenshin: No. Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Bloody Welcome**

Something feels off, thought Squalo as he bathed Xiana. She'd gotten outside and into a muddy puddle. By the time they found her, she was covered from head to toe in mud, and leaves. What was worse was that the brats were due to arrive soon. Xiana needed to be cleaned so off she went to the tub, and she wasn't happy.

Fifteen minutes and two changes of clothes later, Squalo and Xiana arrived at the entrance hall to await the arrival of the brats. The rain guardian kept shifting from foot to foot nervously. So was Mammon, he observed. The others looked slightly irritated, though whether that was because they had to stand there in proper clothes or because they felt it to was to be determined.

A cell phone rang. The ninth answered. His brow creased in worry. He hung up and looked towards the door nervously.

Finally, the sound of crunching gravel alerted the waiting group of their arrival. Timoteo hurried forward, intent on throwing open the door. He didn't get there in time. The doors flew open, and in walked seven kids and one adult, all covered in blood. Lambo was crying, Tsuna was shaking, and even the ever optimistic Yamamoto had a haunted look in his eyes.

"What happened?" Timoteo demanded. Reborn walked over to him and Xanxus to talk. Squalo placed Xiana on the floor and approached the group of shell shocked teens.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a gentle tone that he would not have used two years ago.

Tsuna gave a strangled noise before launching himself at the swordsman. Burying his face in his jacket, he cried. Chrome and Lambo followed, and even Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Ryohei ended up in the hug. Xiana, feeling left out, hug her mother's leg. Hibari stood firmly to the side, arms crossed. He looked more irritated at the blood staining his clothes than what had happened.

And what did happened Squalo wondered as he tried to comfort the sobbing group.

"We were attacked not fifteen minutes after getting off the plane," Reborn told the leaders of the Varia and Vongola. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't premeditated. The killer just happened to notice us and decided it was a good idea to kill us now. The lights went out about two seconds after he first attacked, and in the chaos that followed someone dealt the killer blow."

"Who?" asked Xanxus, looking at the pack of brats huddled against his wife.

"I don't know. Everyone had a weapon out. I don't think it was Gokudera, because there wasn't an explosion, or Ryohei, because I didn't see any fatal injuries caused by fists, but everyone else if fair game."

"Even the cow brat?"

"Even him."

Timoteo sighed. "Squalo, take them to get cleaned up please, us three need to discuss some things."

Squalo nodded and lead the kids –and Xiana– away.

Three hours, an intense meeting with the heads of other Families, and a bath later, Xanxus walked into the main living area of the Varia to find everyone in there. The brats were still huddled around Squalo, though now without the splatters of blood all over them. Xiana was napping in her mamma's lap, Chrome was sleeping with Hibari on an armchair, Tsuna and Yamamoto were on either side of Squalo, using his shoulders as pillows. Gokudera was using Yamamoto as a pillow while Ryohei rested on the floor at Squalo's feet.

All in all, it made a cute picture. It would have been perfect except for the movie Eragon playing on the TV.

Xanxus looked at the cute scene, took a picture with the ever magically present camera, then let out off a shot that woke everyone with a start. "Get the f* up brats! Training starts tomorrow." He smirked evilly. "So I'd have your fun today."

* * *

Yami: Don't you just love Xanxus. So evil, yet so sweet.

Kenshin: If Squalo-dono were here, he'd complain about how you made him look like a sissy.

Yami: But he isn't here, and seriously, you get a bunch of kids walking in covered in blood, it'll strike a maternal instinct. Which Squalo has, as I have reminded you many times.

Kenshin: XP he's still going to be angry.

Yami: I don't care. Let the bitch try to fight me! I'll knock him out!

Kenshin: -sighs- R&R


	53. TYL Xiana

Hikari: eeer, well I wish I could say I'm sissy, but she's...

Toitsu: Yami is currently too depressed to update.

Hikari: One of her reviewers/friends has retired from this story.

Toitsu: And Yami thinks it is because her story is getting boring or something akin to that.

Hikari: ;-; sissy really does have little self esteam doesn't she?

Toitsu: Just when it comes to her stories, she got teased at school when people found out she writes. She had a break down a while ago, this and her Hibari/Chrome oneshots are the first real things she's put up in awhile.

Hikari: So if any of you have advise in how to make the story better, grammar, style, something! Tell her, cause otherwise she'll freak out more, and get more depressed and then she'll write bad chapters! O.O

Toitsu: That, and we have to deal with her while she moans and whines.

Hikari: So don't own, don't sue! And give Yami some tips! Contsructive critisim is good too!

* * *

TYL Xiana

"VAAAAI! WHAT THE F*!?"

Everyone stared as the mass of pink smoke slowly began to disperse. They held their breaths, for there was no denying who was hidden by the smoke. Lambo had gotten into a fight with Xiana over a trivial matter and pulled out the ten-year bazooka. Before anyone could stop him, he had fired it. Gokudera had made a valiant effort to stop it from hitting anyone, but by hitting the barrel all that had happened was that the bullet had gone in a wide arch, and finally dropped down on an unsuspecting Xiana who had been engulfed with the annoying pink smoke.

"Xiana dear?" Lussuria asked cautiously.

"F*! F*! WHAT F*ING BITCH SHOT ME!? I'LL KILL THE F*ING WHORE!"

Timoteo let out a weak groan.

"VOOOII! WATCH YOUR F*ING MOUTH!" Squalo exclaimed.

The smoke finally cleared revealing…well it couldn't be anyone _but_ Xiana. She sat on the plush carpet, rubbing her lower back and grumbling obscenities under her breath. Her beautiful black hair, the same color as her father's, had grown to a startling length. She had it pulled up into three high ponytails, each braided, and then braided with each other. And it still reached her lower back. She wore a strange outfit. Form fitting black slacks with a loose turtleneck shirt tucked into it. The sleeves of the shirt ran down the length of her upper arm to just below her elbows. On her feet was a pair of white skates.

She blinked and looked up at everyone. "Ciao Mamma!" she called to Squalo, who scowled. Sheepishly, she looked at Xanxus, who was smirking. "Ciao Papà."

"Ciao indeed," snapped Squalo. "Who said you could use such coarse language?"

"Papà."

Xanxus threw back his head and laughed while Squalo glared at him.

Seeing as her parents were distracted, Xiana looked towards everyone else. Her eyes locked on Lambo and narrowed. "You little shithead! You're the one who interrupted my figure skating lesson!"

"It's seven P.M!" exclaimed Squalo, who had stopped attempting to murder his husband via glare. "Why the f* are you not home?"

"Because, if I don't train hard enough those bitches from North Shore will take the gold! Like hell I'll let that happen," Xiana replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Speaking of that where's X…" She clamped her mouth shut, and there was suddenly an odd gleam in her eye. She snickered. "Ohhh f* this is funny! I can't say anything important or it'll change the future! F*! This is hilarious!"

"If you have something to say...," Gokudera started but Xiana just cackled.

"Uncle Tsuna told me not to talk to you all about anything important! Besides, I want my cousins to be born!"

"COUSINS!?" The shout rang out from several different mouths.

She threw back her head and laughed, clutching her sides which were starting to ache. "F*! This is too much! You all look like f*ing pussies right now! Especially you, Uncle Tsuna." After a few seconds, she got her laughter down to giggles. "Papà always said you looked like prison bait when you were young, but f*! I didn't think it was true!"

"Watch what you say to the Tenth!" Gokudera snarled.

Xiana lazily stuck her tongue out at him. "Screw you Uncle Goku. Let Uncle Yama f* you, you're nicer after you get laid."

Yamamoto choked and Gokudera let out a howl of rage as his face turned bright red.

"Oops," she said, unenthusiastically, "was that supposed to be a secret? I thought you said you'd been together for years?"

Mukuro, who was finding this incredibly funny, chose this moment to enter the fray, "Oh we've known, don't worry."

"YOU HAVE!?" exclaimed Gokudera.

Everyone was snickering now.

Xiana checked her watch and sighed. "Forty-five seconds. 'kay." She looked over at her parents and grinned, "Make sure you make it to my compatition in ten years! Mark it on the calendar."

Xanxus rolled his eyes, Squalo nodded.

"Bye everyone, I'll see you in ten years when you've all officially f*ed each other over." Giving everyone a one finger, she vanished in a puff of smoke to be replaced by a dazed and frightfully cold Xiana. It took her a moment, but when she realized she was back, the Varia princess began to cry, "MAMMA!"

"God, the future doesn't look so bright all of a sudden," Mammon mumbled.

"Oh, I don't know," Lussuria mused, looking thoughtful, "At least we know she's healthy."

"With Boss's manners, and Squalo's temper. God save us," grumbled Levi.

"VAAAAAAAI!"

* * *

Hikari: OxO Xiana is RUDE! D:

Toitsu: She is supposed to be a combination of Xanxus and Squalo, it is to be expected.

Hikari: Hmm...I wish she'd write a Yama/Goku one shot... -drifts off to get food-

Toitsu: Since Yami is busy rereading Reborn, and mumbling to herself and Hikari has decided to have a late night snack, I shall send you all off. R&R and give Yami some hints, tips, and constructive words, because having a depressed Yami means I have to deal with _her_ and _Hikari_, who will no doubt start crying sooner or later.

...OH! And HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! Hope you all enjoy the celebration of America's birthday, even if you do not live in America.


	54. TYL Xiana First or Lost Edition

Yami: This was the actual first version of this chapter I wrote...and lost...for a week. And before I knew it, I needed to put up a TYL chapter, so I threw one together. I like a lot of elements from the second version, so that stays, but I'm adding this too.

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

Yami: Yes, you can bitch about how weird I am, and why I didn't just replace the other one or combine the two. I'll tell you where to stick it.

* * *

**TYL Xiana First Version**

The atmosphere in the room couldn't have been tenser if you had a porno going. Everyone was tense, staring at the mass of pink smoke. From the midst of it, they could hear a light coughing. Finally, it began to clear. They are strained to see. As the smoke finally dispersed, it left a single figure sitting on the ornate run, looking around in confusion. Bright silver eyes stared at everyone. Lips parted, and a voice floated out. "VAAAAI! WHAT THE F* IS GOING ON!?"

It had started out as a normal day. They all got up, had breakfast, and then went to train. Lunch time rolled around and that's where the trouble started. Lambo was whining. He didn't want to train anymore. He was tried, cranky, and being an all around brat. Finally, Gokudera had yelled at him, which started a chain reaction of people shouting.

Believe it or not, this was normal. Any day that went by without the two groups arguing was an un-normal day. So no one thought about it much as they all started yelling at each other. Things were fine until Lambo pulled out the ten-year-bazooka. Everyone freaked. Tsuna lunged forward, trying to tug the weapon out of the little boy's grip. Lambo started crying and pulled the trigger just as Yamamoto hit the barrel.

Everyone watched, horrified, as the missile flew into the air, and then began to drop. Right onto Xiana, who was busy trying to finish her meal before the table was flipped.

And now we're back to the present. Everyone stared at the eleven-year-old Xiana as she struggled to her feet, cheeks red with fury. She was much taller than one would expect from a normal eleven-year-old. But both her parents exceeded six feet, so her tallness shouldn't be that much of a surprise. She was lanky, and thin, more so than either Xanxus or Squalo, though with each movement, tightly coiled muscles moved just under the skin. Her hair was long, done up in an elaborate braid, and tied off with a black ribbon. Finally on her feet, she looked around and glared at everyone. "I asked what the f* is going on!" she snapped, cross her arms over a still very flat chest.

Tsuna spoke first, still shocked to see the girl standing there. "You got hit with the ten-year-bazooka."

She snarled, and tugged agitatedly at the collar of her high necked shirt. Her clothes were a little odd. The black shirt was slightly tight, going from her neck, all the way down to her elbows, where the sleeves stopped. The shirt continued down to tuck into form fitting black slacks. On her feet was a pair of skates. "That f*er," she hissed. "Interrupting my lesson. I'll kick his f*ing ass."

"Watch your f*ing mouth!" Squalo exclaimed half horrified half amused at hearing the language coming from his daughter's mouth.

"Yes mamma," Xiana said, her personality suddenly doing a 180. "How long am I stuck here?" She asked, still tugging at her neckline.

"Another three minutes and fifty seconds," Mukuro answered lazily as he looked at his watch. "I must say, I'm surprised you've grown into such a beautiful girl. You'll look wonderful once you hit puberty and actually grow breasts and hips."

"VAAAI! SHUT UP UNCLE MUKURO! YOU SICK F*ING PERVERT!" the girl roared, shaking her fist at the male half of the mist guardian. He just laughed.

"Don't sexually harass my daughter!" Xanxus snarled. Mukuro grinned a little nervously when he felt Xanxus's murderous gaze. Confident the pervert would be silent, Xanxus turned back to his daughter, who was busy fixing the laces of her white skates. "Why the f* do you have ice skates on?"

"I _was_ practicing, duh," Xiana replied with a roll of her silver eyes. "I have a competition in three days, if I don't get my triple axel down perfect I'm gonna loose to those bitches from North Side. And like f* I'm going to let that happen." She straitened up and looked at her watch. "One minute, good. Cause I can't say anymore or else I'll f* something over. Uncle Tsuna always said time travel was a bitch." She glanced at the current Tsuna, who seemed to have developed lockjaw. "My god, you look like a f*ing pussy. How did you avoid getting raped?"

Tsuna blanched, his guardians gaped or growled. The Varia laughed.

Ten seconds to go.

"See you f*ers later," Xiana called, and gave them all a one finger salute. There was an explosion of pink smoke and she was gone, replaced with her year old self, who was crying.

* * *

Yami: Actually, I think it should be lost version XD But what the f* ever. Enjoy.

Kenshin: R&R


	55. Future?

Yami: F*! Shit! Damn it!

Kenshin: Yami-dono, please stop cussing, there are children about!

Yami: F* THEM! -grumbles- I didn't _ask_ for them to update for me! And they did it in the WRONG order! It was this chapter THEN the TYL one.

Kenshin: Yami-dono, they were trying to help, and you certainly weren't going to update.

Yami: ...f* that ;-;

Kenshin: X) Yami-dono doesn't know how to express her feelings, but she is actual quite grateful for all your kind words and what her sisters did. Thank you.

Yami: I DON'T NEED A F*ING PITY PARTY! I...f* me... -sulks away to hide in the bed room-

Squalo: Oooooooooh, look, she's crying! She's so happy.

Xanxus: Hmm, so the next time I f* you and you start crying, you're actually crying in happiness? I'll remember this.

Squalo: -growls- STOP RELATING EVERYTHING TO SEX!

Xanxus: But we haven't had a lemon chapter in forever. Excuse me for being horny.

Squalo: o.o

Kenshin: O.O

Yami: XD HA!

Xanxus: Don't own, don't sue. Now, I want a sex chapter so I can sex him up!

Yami: F* you, wait your turn! When I have the computer for hours at a time alone with no one to bother me I'll write up that apron chapter just for you, and a lovely chapter where Squalo decides to sing.

Xanxus: Don't you also have to do a chapter with him in a nurse's outfit and a bunny costume.

Yami: -nose bleed- hehehehehe

Squalo: x///x I HATE YOU TWO!

Yami/Xanxus: -evil laugh-

* * *

**Future?**

Tsuna grinned as he fed Xiana. She happily cooed then accepted the spoonful of mashed bananas and milk. Her favorite breakfast. "You look well," he told her. "How have you been since I last saw you?"

"Good," she answered. She took another bite. "Q?"

"I've been well, Reborn is making me train hard and high school is impossibly hard, but I'm doing fine. Did you like the present I had Verde send?"

"Sì!" she exclaimed. "Woki coot! Wov Woki!"

He smiled. She giggled and clapped her hands. Squalo smiled at the pair. "And to think you once said you hate babies."

"I hate murderous tutor babies," grumbled Tsuna. Reborn slapped the back of his head. Hissing in pain, he glared at his tutor, who was smirking at him.

"Watch your mouth boy," he told his poor student. "Or you might find something unpleasant shoved in it."

Gokudera choked on his coffee and started to cough violently. Yamamoto gave his back a few pounds.

Tsuna, completely missing the sexual innuendo in what his tutor had just said, scowled, "When I'm the boss, you'll have to listen to me!"

"Ah, the sweet sounds of my dear pupil finally accepting that he is going to be the tenth Vongola, and the humor of him saying he'll top me."

Gokudera choked again as did Mammon. Everyone else had the decency to blush or smirk. Tsuna –sweet innocent Tsuna– just glared. "You bet I will!"

Reborn spluttered. Xanxus threw back his head and laughed long and hard. Squalo covered Xiana's ears, though he had a very wolfish smirk on his face.

After the laughter –and choking– had died down, the two groups stood. "Come on brat," Xanxus said to Tsuna. "We have work to do."

Bel dragged Gokudera away. Chrome wandered off with Mammon. Lambo followed Levi grudgingly. Hibari drifted away. This left Yamamoto, Squalo, and a very messy Xiana.

"VOOOII! How'd you get so messy in only a few minutes," Squalo demanded. Grabbing a washcloth, he began to clean his daughter. Yamamoto waited. Five minutes later, they were on their way to the dojo. "You'll show me what you know, what you can do, and what ever else comes to f*ing mind," Squalo explained.

Once in the dojo, he set Xiana up in a corner, told her to practice her basics, then went over to Yamamoto. "Start!"

He stood and watched for the next hour. At every move, his brow furrowed more and more. Finally, he called a halt to the movements. "Where the f* did you learn all that?" he demanded, stalking over. Grabbing the boy by his shirt front, he glared down at him. "Those are my f*ing moves!"

"You taught them to me," Yamamoto said, a littler nervously. They weren't supposed to talk about the trip to the future if they could avoid it.

"WHEN!?"

"…in the future. Those months we disappeared. You trained me."

Squalo released him, attached his sword and faced the younger man. "START!"

(With Xanxus and Tsuna)

They had stopped after just fifteen minutes in when Tsuna had nearly knocked out one of his teeth. Much like Squalo had demanded answer, so too did Xanxus. And he got them. Though in more detail. And by the look on his face, he didn't like it.

"Has anything been done to prevent this?" he asked.

Tsuna nodded. "Irie-kun is part of my family, as is Spanner-kun, though it took a lot of work to find him. Luche-san had a meeting with us a week after we got back, and their now official allies of the Vongolas." Xanxus admitted he had heard of that, though he had no idea that it was by Tsuna's hands that the truce was met. "But…we're waiting to see if Byakuran does anything. If he does, we'll send an assassin after him."

For a long while, both were silent as they contemplated what had been said. When the silence had stretched on far too long, Xanxus stood up and ordered Tsuna to stand as well. Lighting his hands, he looked down at the boy, "Well then, we'd better train you hard."

Tsuna stood, lighting his own flame– without assistance Xanxus noted –before smirking. "We better," he agreed.

* * *

Yami: There you people go, the final chapter! And now a jump to the future and a rather ironic thing.

Squalo: I don't like the way you said that.

Yami: And you shouldn't -evil smirk-

Squalo: O.O

Kenshin: Squalo-dono, you'd better run.

Squalo: -runs-

Xanxus: -catches him and ties him up- Get on with it!

Yami: What ever, f*tard. R&R peeps...and thanks...I guess. =///=


	56. 4YL

Yami: And here we are, the next stage in the trauma of parenting for Xanxus, Squalo, and the Vongolas. Evil does not begin to describe what I'm going to do. But also, this time brings about a challange for my writing ability. One chapter last time was following what Xiana saw. Now that she is older, with a more defined personality, it will be easier to do things from her POV. Lets see if can balance out following her, Squalo, and Xanxus.

Kenshin: Let's hope you do.

Yami: Yeah, otherwise this will just become another OC story, and a lot of those piss me off.

Kenshin: So, you all know the drill, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**4YL**

"Attitude! Attitude ladies!" Madam Maputo ordered. "Remember! You are not children when you enter here! You are ladies! Dancers! Rulers of the stage! One day, if you train hard, you shall dance on the stages of the world! And _don't_ roll your eyes at _me_ Lady Arianna! Perhaps you would like to show your fellow classmates how to do a proper grand battement!"

"F*."

"_Lady_ Arianna! That was not a request!"

The young girl sighed, straitened her back, and lifted her left leg high. The right remained strait, and she grasped the barre lightly. She managed to lift her leg all the way to a few inches in front of her nose before it stilled and stayed there for a few seconds.

"Good! Now, grand battement en cloche."

"But…"

"NOW!"

Swearing under her breath, the little child of four did as she was told, swinging her left leg in a pendulum movement back and forth. It hurt going back, but each time she swung forward, her foot got closer and closer to her nose.

"Very good, stop before you kick yourself in the head." The girl relaxed, letting herself fall back into the resting position. "Now ladies, it is five minutes to go. I want everyone to remember to do their homework, and come back tomorrow ready to work. Good day."

"Good day Madam Maputo," all the girls chorused before moving away from the mirrors to gather their things. Talk and laughter broke out. Some were teasing the foul mouthed girl about getting put in the spot light. She flicked them off, and put their mother's sexual decency into question.

"Ana, no!" cried another girl. She was cute, destined to be a beauty when she grew up. Soft blonde hair naturally curled into cute ringlets that fell and framed large chocolate brown eyes. The bottom lip was fuller than the top, giving her a natural pouting look, and her cheeks were dusted pink while the rest of her skin was a soft cream color. "No!" she repeated to her friend.

The foul mouthed girl narrowed pools of molten silver before shutting her mouth, and looking away. She could never say no to her best friend. "Fine," she huffed. "I didn't stawt it."

"It's otay," the blonde assured her dark haired companion. "Pway at youw house?"

A nod, and a small smile.

Parents had begun to arrive now. Mothers from every walk of society, from the lowly working ones to the fancy rich ones greeted their daughters in grand displays of love. Standing to the side, the two friends waited for their parents to arrive. The blonde looked hopeful, the silver eyed one doubtful. After ten minutes, all the girls but them were gone. A sigh. "Mamma's not coming…"

"Uncy should be hewe," murmured the black haired girl. Though which uncle she wasn't sure. They took turns getting her. Nowadays, her parents didn't get her from class except if they weren't busy. Which they always were.

Something crashed through the doors and a young man with ruffled brown hair entered. He looked shyly at the teacher, who gave him a pointed look. "Sorry," he mumbled in Italian, though his Japanese accent was very thick.

"Uncy Tsuna!" He bent down in time to catch the child that was attempting to bowl him over.

"Ciao Xiana." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Ciao Ariel." He gave the other girl a hug. "Sorry I was late. I got lost."

"You always do!" exclaimed Xiana, but she was grinning. "Why you hewe?" she asked as they left the ballet studio behind.

"Well, your mom wasn't feeling good, and I wanted to get out of training for a little while, so I came to get you," he exclaimed.

Xiana and Ariel stuck their tongues out at him. "Meany! Tell Webown!"

"If I get you gelato will you not tell Reborn I was skipping?"

A pause to consider.

"Sì!"

One trip to a gelato shop and three gelatos later, the trio was walking up the long driveway to the Vongola mansion. Tsuna was asking how their dance lessons were coming along. Ariel was happily blabbering away about them. Xiana was sulking. She didn't like ballet too much. It was too easy. Madam Maputo knew this, and could also see that the girl had no ambition for the thing leading to a rather strained relation between the two.

They had just entered the doors when there was a horrible crash from the story above and the sounds of screaming voices.

"Mamma!" exclaimed Xiana, pulling away from Tsuna and running up the nearest stairs.

-Upstairs and ten minutes ago-

Xanxus had been having a normal shitty day. Bel blew up a microwave and set fire to the kitchens again. Damage report on that, and signing the papers for new stuff to be put in. Lussuria had gone and molested a senator's son. Deal with that paper work. Mammon had the expense list from the last few months. Check that, and then screw at the idiots who had caused the two thousand dollar jump. Squalo was sick, ignore him to the best of his abilities and hope to god he gets better soon. Xiana had punched a girl at her ballet class again. Deal with _that_! Couldn't this Family every stop causing trouble!? The only one who hadn't done anything was Levi!!

The door opened and Levi walked in, covered in sooth and ash and looking sheepish.

"F*!' roared Xanxus. "CAN'T YOU F*KERS NOT SCREW UP FOR ONE SECOND!?"

"Sorry boss," mumbled Levi. "You see, I…"

But his explanation was cut off as the door was kicked open and Squalo strolled in. In his hands was a small device that looked sort of like a thermometer. He shoved said device in Xanxus's face. Instead of a temperature, it had a little plus sign. "What the f* is this?"

"An EPT," growled Squalo. When Xanxus still looked confused, he added. "An Emergency Pregnancy Test. And do you know what the little plus sign means?" Xanxus's eyes widened and Levi's jaw dropped. "THAT RIGHT YOU F**KER! IT MEANS I'M F*ING PREGNANT! AGAIN!" He threw the test at Xanxus, and began storming around the room, screaming, yelling, and knocking stuff off the desk and shelves. When he finally stop his tirade he collapsed onto the couch, sobbing. "W-w-what are we go-go-going to tell Xi-Xiana!?"

"Tell me what?" Squalo jumped, Xanxus and Levi –who had stuck around– whipped around. Standing in the doorway with a cone of dripping chocolate gelato was Xiana. She eyed them all suspiciously. "What's wong mamma?"

Squalo opened his mouth, but Xanxus beat him too it, "Well, mamma is _happy_ because we just found out you're going to have a baby brother or sister soon." It was a blatant and obvious lie. Xiana would see right through it. She was smart like that.

Silver eyes lit up with hope. "Weally!? A baby sista! I'm gonna get a baby sista!?"

"Or brother," Xanxus corrected, but Xiana wasn't listening. Throwing her arms around Squalo's neck –and spilling her gelato all over him– she place a big kiss on his cheek, hugged Xanxus, and then raced from the room, shrieking as loud as she could, "I'M GONNA GET A BABY SISTA!"

"F*," groaned Xanxus.

"I blame you," sniffed Squalo.

* * *

Squalo: OoO YOU WHORE! YOU LIED TO ME!

Yami: I did not lie, I just didn't tel the truth. And this, Tsumi-chan, is why I was laughing so hard when you mentioned another baby. Hehehehe, all of you seem to have suggested it at one point or another, and oh, how I laughed, because I planned this all along! -smirks- did I fool you?

Xanxus: Will you let me f* him NOW?

Yami: What? Oh yes, you're horny for Squalo. Later dear Xanxus, later. First, let's get this show on the road.

Kenshin: But Yami-dono, it's already...

Yami: R&R my peeps, and feel free to admit how completely fooled you were by my brilliant acting!

Squalo: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!

Yami: Oh f*!


	57. Love Song

Yami: -annoyed-

Kenshin: What's wrong?

Yami: This chapter didn't come out how I wanted it. I tried to make it one way, but had to delete it because it was too cheesey. Then I tried making it longer but the details sounded dumb. And then I tried again and well...this is the result. I am not pleased. This is NOT the best I can do. But I can't figure out what to do.

Kenshin: It just doesn't want to be written. Don't fret Yami-dono, your next one will be better.

Yami: I hope...

Kenshin: Well, don't own, don't sue.

Yami: This is for ktina-chan, my most loyal, most insane reader and reviewer. Sorry it wasn't as good as you hoped for Ktina-chan. I'll try harder on the next one.

* * *

**Love Song**

Outside the rain fell gently. Squalo had a wonderful view of the courtyard, the water droplets making ripples in the puddles around the fountain. Earlier that very day, Xiana had been outside playing with Yamamoto. He was teaching her about baseball, and she was eating it up. She enjoyed anything that required physical activity. Ryohei wanted to teach her to box soon, and even Hibari had shown an interest in teaching her something. Surfing wasn't what anyone had expected him to teach, but he said when it was warm outside, he planned to teacher her.

Now, Xiana lay in her bedroom next to her parents', fast asleep. It was well past eleven, and she wasn't allowed up this late. Most everyone else had already gone to sleep. Tsuna and his guardians usually went to bed at ten, though every now and then Gokudera and Yamamoto conveniently went to sleep around nine at the same time. Didn't take a genius to know what they were doing.

Sighing, he closed silver pools, and began to hum. He had told Maria, who over the years had become a valuable friend. She had suggested that he try singing different songs to the unborn babe. The more they were introduced to while still in the womb, the less fussy they were likely to be once born. And Squalo didn't think he could handle another baby as fussy as Xiana.

"I'm desperate for changing, starving for truth, I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you…" The door opened and closed softly. He kept singing softly, pretending not to notice.

"I'm falling even more in love with you. Letting go of all I've held on to. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you."

Xanxus had left his office behind. It was late. He was tired. All he wanted was to go to bed. Every window he passed showed the dark and wet night. It had been raining for hours now, chasing Yamamoto and Xiana inside from their game of catch. He had watched them play from his office. His beloved daughter was now fast asleep, and he planned to join her in that aspect soon. He needed all the sleep he could get before Squalo got farther along in his pregnancy and got bitchy again.

He reached the room and paused for a moment. Through the door he could hear a soft voice, gentle, and slightly rough. It sounded like Squalo singing. And not the usual lullaby which was the only song he ever sang. Quietly, he pushed open the door and entered the room.

Sure enough, there was Squalo, illuminated by the solitary light from the courtyard. Standing in nothing but a pair of soft black pajama pants, the light cast an eternal glow across his pale skin. If it hadn't been for the glow Xanxus now associated with pregnancy, he might have looked ill for being so pale. And he was still singing.

"Forgetting all I'm lacking. Completely incomplete, I'll take your invitation; you take all of me now…"

Years of training made his short walk over to his wife all but silent. Once he reached Squalo, he slipped his arms around his waist. One hand came to rest on his still flat stomach, the other entwining with Squalo's flesh and blood right hand. He rested his chin on Squalo's shoulder, and stood there, enjoying a calm moment. Squalo's song picked up speed.

"I'm falling even more in love with you. Letting go of all I've held on to. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you. I'm living for the only thing I've known. I'm running and not quite sure where to go. And I don't know what I'm diving into. Just hanging by a moment here with you."

He pressed his lips to Squalo's neck, and smirked as the paler man shivered, his voice going up a single octave. It was always fun to tease him.

"There's nothing else to lose. There's nothing else to find. There's nothing in the world that can change my mind. There is nothing else. There is nothing else. There is nothing else."

Feeling and smirking mischievously, Xanxus let the hand caressing his wife's stomach wander farther south, slipping into his pants. He could feel Squalo stiffen.

"Desperate for changing, starving for truth, I', closer to where I started, chasing after you…"

His fingers ran along the swordsman's inner thigh, constantly threatening and teasing to get closer, but always drifting away. Squalo had started to sweat slightly.

"I'm falling even more in love with you. Letting go of all I've held on to. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you. I'm living for the only thing I've known. I'm running and not quite sure where to go. And I don't know what I'm diving into. Just hanging by a moment here with you."

He kissed and gently bite the junction between Squalo's shoulder and neck, feeling quite satisfied with himself when he felt Squalo get hard.

"Just hanging by…f*…" Xanxus quickly clapped a hand over Squalo's mouth to keep him from shouting out.

"Xiana's in the next room," he whispered. "You wouldn't want to wake her and have her ask questions would you?" And just to prove he was a sadistic bastard he grabbed Squalo's sword (XD yeah, more fun synonyms!) and gave it two hard pumps. Squalo's back arched and his moan was luckily stifled by the hand in front of his mouth. "No screaming tonight." It showed that Xanxus was in a semi-romantic mood because normally that sentence would have gone, "No screaming like a whore tonight."

"Mrfm mff mrgf mg mr mfhrm?"

"What?" He removed his hand just slightly so Squalo could speak.

"Can we not do it standing?" he nearly pleaded. "My legs are killing me and having you shove your f*ing cock in me while standing won't help."

"Fine." Without another word, he swept Squalo into his arms and threw him onto the bed without so much as a warning. "Strip now, I need to get something." Xanxus could feel Squalo's sudden nervousness. Whenever he had to get something, the shark normally ended up unable to move from the bed for at least a day. He smirked, grabbed a white a tube –no need to have Xiana go searching for birthday presents and find their toys –and returned to a now very naked Squalo.

For a moment, he stopped and enjoyed the sight. The light still drifted in from outside, dim and weak. But upon such pale skin, already aglow with the glow pregnant women got, it gave Squalo an unearthly glow, like a spirit or god(dess?) who decided to have some fun and took human form. Glamour, the fae in Xiana's story books would call it. The only effect it had on Xanxus was making him crave the silver haired swordsman more.

"Vooi! Stop staring!" Squalo ordered in a harsh whisper upon spotting the lustful look in Xanxus's eyes and the bulge in his pants. Then he smirked playfully. "If you want me so bad, come and get me." He slid under the covers without another word.

Chuckling, Xanxus dived onto the bed, grabbed the lump under the covers and flipping it over. Squalo made what was undeniable a squeal and laughed when he found himself uncovered with Xanxus climbing on top of him.

"Failed," Xanxus teased before leaned down and capturing Squalo's very red and tempting lips. He resisted for a moment, but when Xanxus gave his bottom lip a none too gentle bite, he relented, and opened his mouth. Xanxus happily delved in, running his tongue along Squalo teeth, exploring every inch. Squalo let out a barely muffled moan. While his tongue made quick work of Squalo's mouth, his hands were roaming the shark's body, poking and prodding all of his sensitive spots. He grinned against the kiss every time Squalo let out another lewd mewl or wanton groan.

Finally pulling away, he pressed one more kiss to Squalo's bruised lips before reaching for the tub. Uncapping it, he squeezed some oiled lotion out onto his hands. Squalo groaned. "I'm too f*ing tired to properly pound you into the f*ing mattress," Xanxus growled, carefully hooking one of Squalo's legs over his shoulder. "Maybe tomorrow when I don't have so much work."

"You said that last time."

"If I remember correctly, the time before that, when I used all the toys in my arsenal, and every trick in the book, not only could you not get up for several days but a baby was conceived."

"I can't get pregnant when I'm still pregnant."

"So? I don't feel like listening to everyone bitching at me because they need you for something and your ass is too sore to do more than whine."

Squalo huffed, but gave in when he felt Xanxus teasing his entrance. He let out what sounded like a mix between a moan and a whine. Xanxus smirked, and pushed his middle finger in. The lube on it made the penetration easy and painless for him. And by the sounds of it, Squalo was thoroughly enjoying it as well. His mewls and barely suppressed moans were music to Xanxus's ears. When he scissored in a second finger, Squalo began to tremble in anticipation of what was to come.

"F*…" he groaned, trying and failing to keep his hips still. "Harder!"

"Quiet. I'm not explaining sex to a four-year-old!

"Then f* me harder!"

"So f*ing demanding." He slipped in a third finger and pushed them in as far as they would go, at the same time striking that single electric point that always made Squalo scream his name. He felt Squalo shudder and let out a wanton moan. His face betrayed nothing except ecstasy. Just looking at it made Xanxus want to pound him into the mattress…if he wasn't so tired…

A few more thrusts and a few more times striking that spot, Xanxus withdrew his fingers. Squalo keened at the loose, and when Xanxus took decided to take too long lathering his own throbbing member with lube, he whined, and shifted restlessly.

"I said quiet." He slapped Squalo's ass. Squalo let out a yelp and let out another, softer, whine. "I've got a comment on what you sound like," he grumbled, but refrained from saying it. Instead, he position himself near Squalo's entrance and leaned down so his lips barely touched Squalo's. There was a glazed look in the molten silver pools. His breath came out in short pants, his hot breath ghosting over Xanxus's lips. His face was flushed, red spreading from his cheeks and cross the bridge of his nose. Xanxus grinned wolfishly down at him. "Do you really want it?"

Squalo stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. Normally, that would have been pretty creepy. But now it just made him look adorable and delectable.

"Fine, hold on then." Squalo wrapped his arms around Xanxus's shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. Without another word, he jerked his hips forward, and buried himself inside Squalo. Before Squalo could scream or moan or anything, he jammed his lips against the silver haired swordsman, effectively muffling any noise. Once the nails digging into his shoulders had relaxed slightly, he pulled out then slammed right back in.

Xanxus loved these times. When the house was asleep, and there was a gentle rain fall outside. When just a bit of light shined in from outside, lighting their sweat soaked bodies, and making Squalo look almost heavenly. Squalo was most certainly not an angel, never in a million years, but he was the closest thing Xanxus had to salvation. A place to go where he didn't have to put on the brutal face that everyone of the mafia expected of him. It was times like this when Xanxus could forget the f*ing world and its f*ing problems and lose himself in the pleasure of f*ing Squalo.

He could feel Squalo reaching his limit as he thrust in for the nth time. They were both panting hard, barely able to breathe between the pleasure and the kissing. He was about to reach his own limit. Between being so f*ing tired, and the constant tightness around his cock, he wouldn't last much longer.

Pulling out, he paused briefly to catch him breath. Squalo was making lewd noises again, mewls and whines, and keening, and moaning. Taking a deep breath, he slammed his mouth against Squalo's and thrust in as hard as he could. Squalo gasped, his back arching as high as it would go. With a shudder he came. He lay there panting while Xanxus finished up a few thrusts later.

He pulled out, dripping cum everywhere. Spent, Xanxus let himself fall lifeless onto the bed next to his life mate, holding the smaller man close. They were both panting in the aftermath of their love making. Xanxus was shivering. He was more susceptible to the cold after spending eight years frozen. Noticing this, Squalo slid out of Xanxus's hold and kicked the soiled coverlet off the bed and grabbed a second one they always kept by just incase. He threw it over both of them before cuddling up with Xanxus again. A none committable grunt was his thanks. He took it with a nod. Putting his head on Xanxus's shoulder, he closed his eyes, ready to sleep.

Things fell silent. Only their breathing, slowing down, and the rain interrupted the calm. Squalo was almost sleep when he felt Xanxus's lips touch his forehead, and heard him whisper softly, "I love to hear you sing."

Squalo smiled, and hummed till sleep overtook him.

* * *

Yami: And it was STILL cheesy! Plus it all sucked! UGH! Why didn't it want to work!?

Xanxus: Because you started cheesy, and sucky, and we are NOT gentle people.

Squalo: At least not with sex.

Yami: I was going for romantic!

Kenshin: Yami-dono, I've afraid you failed utterly at that. These two aren't romantic.

Yami: T^T f* you all!

To the Cursed Twins: Yes, Tsuna will be killed when Reborn catches him XD Xiana is a good dancer, but that's because of all her training. Fighting with a sword is much like dancing. Don't diss the blowing up of a microwave...my sisters and I blew up one when we were five XD there was smoke and flames everywhere. Lol. Xanxus is happy, Squalo isn't. As for the gender, and this goes for everyone. S.E.C.R.E.T. XD

Oh yeah, the song was Hanging By A Moment, by Lifehouse, my absolute favorite song :)


	58. Where Do Babies Come From?

Yami: XD bitch does not even begin to describe me. And I say that with complete honesty.

Gokudera: DIE BITCH!

Squalo: XD this is too funny.

Kenshin: ORORORORO!? Lets just do the chapter. Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Another**

Squalo considered himself a semi expert on things like relationships. Not that he was very good at expressing the more tender emotions, but he was fairly good at recognizing people who shared the trouble ridden emotion known as love. First time he had seen Tsuna and Kyoko together during the ring conflict, a little voice in his mind had proclaimed loudly, "They like each other!"

The hardest he had ever had to consider had been Yamamoto, who showed obvious affection for everyone, and Gokudera, who showed obvious animosity for everyone except Tsuna. But spending Christmas with them had given Squalo a pretty good understanding of the two. They were together –figured that out after the brats had moved into the main mansion –and they did not want their relationship to get out. That was more of Gokudera's decision, seeing as he was rather embarrassed about anything that had to do with love.

After awhile, he didn't bother with them. Let them hide, sooner or later, the secret would get out, and both would discover no one is surprised. It was the worst kept secret ever. The best kept one was the one everyone kept from those two. Horribly ironic really. But I digress.

Squalo had been working on making a quick snack for himself. He was getting pretty hungry with the baby demanding just as much food as the shark normally ate. The kitchen door opened and Xiana walked in. One look at her face told Squalo she had questions.

"What is it?" he asked as she opened her mouth.

"Mamma, where do babies come from?"

Squalo nearly dropped his frozen shrimp. The two kitchen staff members stopped what they were doing and stared at the child with a mix of amusement and horror on their faces.

Clearing his throat, Squalo asked, "Why do you ask?"

"Well…"

-Flashback to twenty minutes ago-

Today had started out weird, and continued to be weird. Her lessons were canceled today, all of them, so Xiana had nothing to do. Ariel couldn't come over, and everyone else seemed busy. So, bored, she had stolen Loki's box from the place her father kept him, and released the big cat. He stretch, and scratched behind his ear before licking his mistress's cheek.

"Wanna play hide and seek?"

A nodded.

"'kay, count to fifteen and come find me." With that, the Varia princess took off running. Taking a left, she threw open the first door she found and stopped. It was a large closet, with a lot of random junk in it. That wasn't unusual, what was unusual was finding Uncle Gokudera and Uncle Yamamoto in there. Gokudera was standing in a corner, his fisted hands against the wall a look of pain on his face. Yamamoto stood right behind him, hands on Gokudera's hips. "What are you doing?" she asked, making the two in the closet jump. The sliver haired bomber let out a loud moan and leaned his forehead against the wall.

"We're…ummmm…" Yamamoto seemed flustered as he tried to explain why they were in a closet in such a weird position. "M-making babies!"

"Babies…wike my new sista?"

"Exactly! Because Uncle Gokudera is like your mamma. We decided we want a baby too!"

"Oh…'kay…" She shut the door and ran off quickly.

-Now-

"And that's what happened," Xiana finished.

Squalo started banging his head on the counter. The kitchen staff members were laughing.

"Mamma?"

Groaning, Squalo bent down next to Xiana, "Sweetie, just forget about what you saw, okay? That's not exactly how you make babies."

"But how…"

"I'll tell you when you're older, now, do you want some shrimp?"

"HAI!"

"Pronounce the 'h' a little more."

"'kay."

Squalo sighed. Another crisis adverted…though now he was curious…would Gokudera actually get pregnant? Silently, he laughed. Yeah right.

.

.

.

Everyone stared at the pair. Most were, as it is often written but never true, staring open mouthed at Yamamoto, who was grinning, and Gokudera, who was bright red.

"P-please repeat that," Basil requested numbly.

"We're having a baby," Yamamoto said. He was practically glowing with pride. Gokudera was just glowing red. "Isn't this great? Now Squalo isn't the only bigender in the place!"

Gokudera turned and punched Yamamoto in the stomach, a look of satisfaction appearing on his face when the idiot grunted in pain.

"How many are you having?" Tsuna asked excitedly.

"Triplets!"

.

.

.

Gokudera let out a soft cry of despair and sat up with a jolt. He looked around, horrfied, till he realized that it had all been a dream. Sighing, he looked to his left, where Yamamoto lay fast asleep. The idiot was grinning in his sleep. Leaning closer, the bomber heard him mutter, "Scream louder..." He was effectively cut off as Gokudera planted his foot in his stomach and kicked the swordsman out of the bed.

"SICK BASTARD! GET THE HELL OUT!"

"Ah...but..."

Turning away, Gokudera pulled the covers up over his head. He wouldn't look at the idiot, but he didn't say anything when Yamamoto climbed back into the bed and curled up with him.

Dumbass, Gokudea thought before drifting back to sleep.

* * *

Yami: -points at ktina-chan- put all the blame on her. This subplot is all her fault XD

Yamamoto: I like it. I wouldn't mind kids.

Gokudera: -sobbing in the corner-

Kenshin: -sigh- R&R


	59. Schedual

Yami: How many of you are in college or preparing for college.

Hikari: We are.

Yami: How many of you know how much a private college costs?

Toitsu: We do.

Yami: How many of you have parents who have to put THREE girls through the same private college?

All three: WE DO!

Yami: F* what I wouldn't give to be related to the Vongola Family right now. They'd pay our way through college.

Hikari: -sigh- but we've got the expenses sorted out. We are costing our parents over 90,000 dollars T^T, but it's okay, we have scholarships...

Toitsu: So ignore our whining. Don't own. don't sue.

Yami: **POLL TIMEEEE!!**

Should I do the pregnant Gokudera subplot?

Yes!

No!

If YES! Should I write a separate, connected story or in this story?

* * *

**Schedual**

Xiana's usual day went something like this:

Get up at seven sharp. Brush teeth, comb hair, and have mamma put it up in a high ponytail, and braid it. Have breakfast. As the Varia princess, and future leader of the Varia, she was trained in all forms of defense and attack. The order of her lessons rarely changed. First it was hand to hand combat with Uncle Lussuria.

"And punch ! That's right! Now I want to see a Chuck Norris Round House Kick !"

"HIYA!" The dummy cracked, the wooden pole that held it up tilted about forty degrees. Xiana grinned maliciously at the dummy.

"That's my girl! Now, pull back your fist and I want to see a beauuuutiful right hook!"

"OSU!" She punched forward. The pole snapped.

"Yeah! I should take you out for gelato later sweetie !"

"Yah!"

After lessons with Lussuria, it was throwing weapons with Bel.

"Ushishishi, you need to adjust the angle occurring to wind conditions if the object is big. Just use flat daggers or knives and you shall be good."

She took an offered knife and threw it with all her strength at the target. It bounced off.

"Just a casual flick of the wrist. Use your index finger as a guide."

She tried again. This time the knife hit the target, though far from the center.

"Better than before." She never really could get the hang of throwing knives.

A short break, followed by ballet lessons with Ariel at the best dance school in town. She hated the classes, but bared it because Ariel adored them, and her parents adored seeing her doing so well in the stupid art of dance.

After dance lessons, lunch, and a nap, it was sword practice with mamma. They had long ago moved on from the basics, and Xiana was currently learning a few more intermediate level moves. Within a year, she was promised her first real sword! These classes she did best in, having studied them since she was able to stand and walk. Squalo took a lot of pride in showing off Xiana's skills to his students or anyone who would watch.

Next was gun practice with papà. She had started this a year ago, but was still on a very light BB gun, as her parents were hesitant at putting anything more powerful in her hands. The kickback on the BB gun was barely noticeable, and the pelts it shot out, while painful in the eye or groin, did little other damage except to the paper targets she was required to hit. By the end of practice everyday, the paper people would be missing their head, crotch, and heart. You can see why they don't want to give her anything deadlier…yet.

And the final lesson was with Mammon. His lessons were basic strategies with money tips on the side. She listened very closely to these. Long ago, she had realized that most of the papers on her papà's desk dealt with money. Money was obviously important. She had to know all about it! Plus, money is what you had to give people to get gelato. And she loved gelato.

Depending on how long her lessons ran that day, she usually got two or three hours of free time before dinner. Then dinner, an hour playtime, then a bath and bed. And so ended Xiana's day. Weekends excluded, this was what she did every single day.

Until mamma got pregnant.

Xiana sat in the dojo, clutching the bamboo sword uncle Yamamoto had gotten her. She could never remember what he called it, but mamma had thanked him, and it was more fun than swinging a little kid's fake wooden sword. It was heavy, therefore harder to handle, but it was a challenge, and therefore fun. She liked challenges, which is why she hated ballet. It was too easy after all her training in martial arts, and swordsmanship, and swimming.

She sighed and looked at the clock. The little hand was on the one and the big hand on the eight. Shifting a little, she looked at the door again. It didn't open. Mamma usually appeared when the little hand was on the one and the big one on the 12. It was well past that.

The door opened. Xiana looked up excitedly. Her face fell when she realized it was just Aunty Maria. Ariel hurried over and clasped Xiana's hands. "Guess what! I'm gonna get a baby sista too!"

Xiana looked up, a spark of happiness dancing in her eyes. "Weally!?" She looked towards Aunty Maria, who smiled and nodded. The two started to dance around excitedly. Ariel because she hated being the baby, and Xiana because she hated being an only child.

As it turned out, the two had come to get Xiana for a week long sleep over. It wasn't until later that she realized this was to keep her out of the way at home, where a big renovation was going on.

* * *

Yami: This was an explination chapter. Sorry guys, but it sets things up for later when things get BAD. When you have a sibling on the way, scheduals get f*ed up, and people who don't like change have to deal with a LOT of it.

Hikari: And remember to vote.** YES. NO.** And if **YES, CONNECTED STORY** or **IN THIS STORY**

Toitsu: R&R everyone, and remember, save up for college and apply for scholarships. You'll thank yourself later.


	60. Room

Yami: -sob- the laptop. Our mother's laptop that I write on. It's...ALIVE! GOD THANK YOU!!!!! -sobs loudly-

Kenshin: Yami-dono, please get a hold of yourself! You need to update.

Yami: -sniff- what? Oh yeah. Well this chapter is the start of Xiana's problems. Mamma missing her lesson was just the start, and small compared to this.

Kenshin: And it gives real reason why Xiana-dono acts the way she does in the future.

Yami: So don't own, don't sue and enjoy the chapter.

**POLL RESULTS**

The results of the poll are overwhelming.

Gokuder WILL become pregnant.

And...it will be....

.............

..........

........

......

.....

....

...

..

.

As a separate story! For reasons pointed out by some people, such as this story is about Squalo, Xanxus, and Xiana, and I'll get confused with who to focus on. So give me a little time and I'll have the other story up within a month...I hope, just remember, I'm getting things prepared for college here, I have little time every day on the computer soooooo............

Be on the look out for Bomb Babies :D

Kenshin: XP that's a foolish name Yami-dono, how about Of Bombs and Baseballs.

Gokudera: No! Family Explosion

Yamamoto: How about Bomblets?

Yami: -.- shit...

**POLL TIME**: Choose one of the above names, or suggest another name.

* * *

**Room**

Xiana and Ariel giggled as they raced into the Vongola mansion. Maids, butlers, and members moved aside, watching the children with amusement. There hadn't been a child in the mansion since Xanxus was a child, and he had definitely not brought such light to the place. It was amazing what a child's laugh could do to a place.

It was Ariel's turn to stay the week. Maria had just dropped her and Isaac off. The boy followed at a much slower pace, though keeping the two girls in his vision at all times. He still didn't talk much.

Down a hallway the three barreled. Mammon had to jump to the side to avoid a collision. Their destination: Xiana's room, stacked with toys and games, her favorite colors on the wall, and her comfy bed.

Squalo was just exiting his room when he saw his daughter and her friends run by. "Xiana wait!"

She threw open the door to her room and froze. Ariel shrieked. Isaac raised an eyebrow.

The room had been repainted. The barren walls were a pastel green with a sky blue ceiling. Her bed was missing, replaced with a crib. Her toy chest was still there though, as was her dresser.

"MAMMMMMAAA!" cried Xiana. She flung herself at her mother. "Whewe's my woom!? Did you get wide of it!? Whewe wiw I sweep!?" Her words were degrading, regaining the lisp most children had when they were just learning to talk in her panic.

He bent and scooped up his daughter. "Hush Xiana," he ordered. She shut up, though there were tears streaming down her face. "You're staying here, we just moved your bed room. The new baby needs this room since it's right next to mamma and papà's room."

Xiana gaped at him. "But it's _my_ woom! I don't wanna give it up!"

"Don't be selfish." Setting her down, he led to way to the girl's new room. "We haven't painted it yet. You get to choose the colors." The room looked bare, with plain white walls, no pictures up, and only a few pieces of furniture. None of them her own. "We'll go shopping later this week and pick out furniture too," he told her. "You're a big girl now; you get to choose your own stuff."

"But whewe's my bed?" she asked, more tears welling up. "Whewe will I sweep?"

"You're getting a new one. And you three will be sleeping in the living room. Think about it, you'll have the TV to yourselves all night." Someone called his name. "We'll talk later; I have a doctor's appointment." He left.

Xiana sniffled and Ariel hugged her. Isaac pulled out a handkerchief and began to wipe her face. "Better."

"I want my woom," she sobbed.

"What's this?" The trio's eyes locked onto the intruder. Aunty Chrome stared down at the three, taking in Xiana's wet face, and Ariel's worried expression. "Are you okay?"

"Want my woom," said Xiana.

"Oh," said Chrome. Bending down, she hugged the sobbing girl. "It'll be okay. I know change is scary. But at least you have your friends to help you pick out stuff all your own. And you'll have a new room to decorate."

"Don't want a new woom, want my woom."

"How about I take you three to get gelato?" she offered. "And we can go and stop by the candy store."

Three excited cheers greeted this suggestion.

After a quick stop to the gelato shop, the group walked lazily towards the candy shop. Ariel kept practicing her jetè and trying to get Xiana to do a grand jetè, which she had done by accident in their latest class.

"Don't wanna dwop my cone," Xiana grumbled.

They finished their cones and washed their hands in a fountain before going to Madam Mimi's Tantalizing Treats For Travelers. The name of the store was a ruse. Though many tourists stopped in for a bit, it was actually a favorite hang out for locals of all walks of life. Mothers with babies, kids with parents, teens with friends, college students working, it was for everyone. The family that had owned and operated the store for ten generations were well known. It had been decided long ago that the store was a neutral ground.

A little bell sounded as Chrome pushed the door opened for the group of over excited children. An elderly woman behind the counter smiled upon seeing the group. "Well if it isn't three of my favorite kids. How are ya?"

"Fine Aunty," they all chorused, clambering into a booth.

"What do you all want?" a teenaged girl with the same eyes and friendly smile as the woman.

"I want a chocolate molt please," Ariel requested.

"Dr. pepper."

"A slice of pineapple upside down cake please.

"Chocolate gelato please."

"Xiana you just had some!"

"I want mowe!"

A few minutes later, the girl delivered their treats. Everyone dug in happily.

Chrome spoke first, "So, what kind of colors do you want for your new room?"

Xiana froze. Slowly, she put her spoon down and pushed away the half eaten frozen treat, crossed her arms and glared out the window.

"You can paint it any color you know," Chrome continued. "Blue, or pink, or red. Even black! I bet they'd even let you put polka dots everywhere."

Xiana grumbled a few impolite words under her breath.

"What about a black ceiling with stars all over it? And dark blue walls with lightly colored furniture?"

She didn't answer.

Sighing, Chrome reached over and patted Xiana's head. "I know you don't like the idea, but the baby will need to be as close to your parents as possible. You'd want that if you were just born."

"Don't cawe." And she refused to say another word till they left thirty minutes later.

When they arrived home Xiana ran to Xanxus's office and started pounding on the door only to find he was gone as well. Ariel and Isaac took the sobbing girl to the living room, and tried to get her to smile. Needless to say, she fell asleep before she stopped crying.

* * *

Yami: So things are getting bad for Xiana. Whenever a new baby is due in a family, things get bad. The oldest child is usually more accepting, but the younger child, or the only child, have a little more trouble accepting things. Especially since Xiana has been spoiled with attention her whole life.

Kenshin: Don't think Xiana-dono as a brat or spoiled. It isn't entirely her fault.

Yami: Yeah, blame the idiots who raised her.

Xanxus/Squalo: HEY!

Squalo: VOOOOOI! We aren't idiots!

Yami: Sorry what? I just went deaf.

Squalo: VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI! YOU BITCH!

Xanxus: Squalo, shut up.

Squalo: -glaaaaaaaaaaaaaare-

Yami: So, remember to vote. The story WILL be connected to Family. It will take place at the same time, though maybe AFTER the baby is born.

Kenshin: As such, we'll wait till the baby is born to put up the story. We can't give away spoilers can we?

Xanxus: Oh, I can! I baby's name will be Xi-

Yami: NOOOO! -attacks- NOT ANOTHER WORD YOU MAN WHORE!

Xanxus: O.o

Kenshin: -sigh- R&R and vote.


	61. Shopping

Yami: Any of you ever have this really awesome dream that includes a ton of anime, video games, and your actual friends and such and then wake up because your cousin is calling so he can get past this one part on a video game? Yeah, I just did. And now I'm angry. XANXUS AND SQUALO WERE BEING F*ING CUUUUUUUTE!

Squalo: Stop whining you bitch!

Yami: Then stop moaning all the time you whore!

Xanxus: Both you sluts shut up.

Yami/Squalo: HEY!

Xanxus: What the f* ever. Don't own, don't sue.

Yami: :D and I've already written six chapters for the Yama/Goku story X3

Xanxus: God help them.

* * *

**Shopping**

Squalo groaned as he sat down on a bench. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go shopping right now. He felt the horrors of morning sickness that wanted to continue long into the day. But Xiana had thrown a tantrum when Lussuria tried to take her shopping, so Squalo ended up going with them. Ariel and Isaac, his daughter's ever constant companions, were trying to talk her –at least Ariel was– into getting a princess bed, with veil and everything. Xiana was leaning towards the simple four poster bed.

"Like is Hawy Potta!" she exclaimed excitedly when she had spotted the bed. It was large enough for all three of the children to comfortably fit on it!

"Remember you need to fit a desk, books shelves, a dresser, and toy box in the room," he reminded her.

Xiana sighed and moved on to a slightly smaller four poster bed. An easy fit twin size with mahogany wood. "I want this one!"

Standing carefully so the vertigo didn't make him puke, Squalo went in search of a sale's person. Really, he wished he had stayed home. Everyone always said pregnancy was easier the second time around. He knew earlier than he had with Xiana. He was only three months along this time, but the morning sickness was worse, and he kept getting these horrible headaches. It made trying to do anything for more than an hour impossible. Yamamoto would need to take over Xiana's training before long.

Even as he thought this, the world started to spin. A moment later, the world went black.

He woke to the sounds of a siren whirring in his ears, and a female voice talking to someone. "Hey! Looks like she's coming around." A blurry faced appeared in his vision. "Ma'am, are you alright?"

For a moment, he couldn't speak. Someone was playing crash cymbals in his head. After a moment, he managed to ask, "Where's my daughter?"

"A family member came to pick her and her friends up from the store. Now how do you feel?"

"F*ing dizzy."

"At least you have a sense of humor. We'll be at the hospital in a minute. Since you woke so quickly, they'll just give you a quick check up and…"

"I want Dr. Shamal."

"What?" She stared at him, the name obviously not computing.

"I want Dr. Shamal, or Dr. Tonitino."

"I'll call ahead," she assured him, pulling from her pocket a radio. Holding down a button, she spoke into it, "Is Dr. Tonitino in? Or a Dr. Shamal? Well tell him to expect…What is your name?" she aimed this question at Squalo.

"Squalo."

"Tell him to expect Squalo. Dizzy and fainting spells. Okay." She put the radio away. "Dr. Tonitino will be waiting for you."

He grunted and let his eyes drift shut. He had barely fallen asleep when the old British voice of Dr. Tonitino sounded. "Well my dear, you've managed to get yourself here twice in a week." A chuckle. "If my informants are right, you've scared your poor daughter half to death."

"Ngh…" Clapping a hand to his mouth, the shark struggled not to let his stomach rebel. It so wanted to.

A tutting. "Can't have that." He felt two pairs of hands haul him up and a pill slip past his lips. A cup pressed against his lips. "Drink my dear." He drank. The hands carefully helped him lay back down. "That should take care of your nausea for a bit. I think perhaps you might want to take things easy. You're body is adjusting faster to the release of hormones, but that will make things worse too, so stay home and rest for a little while."

"'kay."

The door burst open, and Xanxus's furious voice was nearly down by a nurse's shriek. "Sir! Please don't rush in here!"

"Where is he!?"

"I'm right here, shut up," groaned Squalo. His stomach was already feeling better. The pounding in his head persisted.

"Can he go home?"

"Yes, just keep him off his feet for a week or so."

"Fine."

Squalo let out a girlish squawk when two arms slid under him and lifted him from the bed. "VOOOIII! What the f* are you doing!?" A sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. He wrapped his arms around Xanxus's neck and hid his face in his shoulder. "Ugh. I wanna go home now."

A noncommittal grunt. Several minutes later, Xanxus climbed into a limo, Squalo still cradled in his arms. "Drive."

They arrived home fifteen minutes later. Xanxus carried his wife into the house and towards their room. He had barely laid Squalo down on the bed when the door burst open and Xiana ran in sobbing. Standing just outside the door stood everyone else, watching with worry and interest.

"MAMMA!" cried Xiana, throwing herself upon the bed.

Squalo smiled slightly and ruffled her hair. "What do you want?"

She hiccupped and said in broken Japanese, "O-o-ore gomen okaa-san!"

Tsuna slapped his forehead and groaned. "It's watashi! Ore is masculine!"

Squalo just snorted and kissed Xiana's forehead. "Keep up the good work."

Xiana left a little while later. The shopping trip had been abandoned until tomorrow. Mammon and Lussuria would be taking the three kids. Squalo lay in bed, mentally preparing himself for what would probably be a very shitty pregnancy.

"And I said no more," he grumbled.

* * *

Yami: I am soooo mean to Squalo aren't I XD And yes, the Japanese brats are teaching Xiana to speak Japanese. It's been tradition since the Vongola Primo brought a Japanese man into his Family and then moved there. Personally, I am of the opinion he fell in love with his rain guardian's sister and married her, so generations later, we get Tsuna related to Yamamoto waaaaaaay back :D

Yamamoto: ha-ha never thought about that.

Yami: Speculation my dear, speculation. And as for Squalo's pregnancy this time around, it will get worse. Here's a little spoiler: Xiana was the easiest pregnancy Squalo will ever have.

Squalo: I knew there was a reason I hated you.

Yami: Love you two Squalo dear. X3 okay, I need to go eat breakfast and then get my school trunk unrusted DX bye bi

Squalo: R&R. Now why did everyone call me a girl?

Yami: Sweetie, you look like a girl and your pregnant. They aren't checking the plumbing.

Squalo:............


	62. Talk

Yami: hmmmmmmmm I have nothing to complain or talk about today. So let's just get on with the chapter. Kenshin!

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Talk**

Everyone was getting more and more excited. The baby was moving a lot, kicking powerfully. It hurt, but at least it meant the baby was healthy. People had started to talk. If it's a girl what will the name be? If it's a boy, will he take over the Varia instead of Xiana?

"If it's a boy, we'll train him the same as Xiana, and they can decide who will lead later."

Another girl?

"F* if I know."

While everyone in the mansion was getting happier, and more excited, there was one occupant who was getting surlier and ruder. Xiana had taken to throwing tantrums over the littlest things. When Yamamoto had come into the dojo to teach her instead of Squalo, she had started screaming and caused a fair amount of fire damage to the place. At dance class, she kept pushing and tripping people. Ariel was the only one who wasn't attacked by the angry little girl.

Madam Maputo had called up Squalo and Xanxus halfway through a lesson one day because Xiana had punched another girl. Gokudera ended up coming to get her, and spent the trip home lecturing the little girl on proper etiquette.

This was not helping Squalo at all. He could hardly move without getting dizzy nowadays. The doctor had upped the amount of prenatal pills he took. The baby was stealing almost all nutrients. Seven months along and things were just all around sucking.

"Mamma?" Squalo looked up from his book. Xiana stood in the doorway, looking guilty, and sully. "Papà told me to come and apow- apo_l_ogize to you."

He motioned her in. She entered slowly, never meeting the silver eyes of her mother. When she had reached the couch, Squalo reached down and lifted her chin. "What are you apologizing for?"

"Fow…Fo_r_ being bad."

"And…"

"And huw-hu_r_ting the but_l_e_r_, and dying Beste_r_ fu_r_ pink, and bu_r_ning the dojo, and making a mess in the kitchen, and making mamma c_r_y."

"Now what do you say?"

"Sow…" she screwed up her face, and tried again. "Sorry!"

Squalo patted the space next to him. She scrambled up onto the bed, and curled up against the swordsman. "Why are you acting like a spoiled brat?"

"Cause."

"Vooii, that's not an answer."

"Cause no one is paying attention me to anymo-re with the baby coming."

"That's not true and you know it."

"…" Xiana didn't answer, just sighed and slipped off the bed.

"Where are you going now?"

"To my w…room." The door slammed shut behind her. Squalo swore violently, and threw the book across the room. It was a stupid book anyways. Carefully, he got up. It took five minutes for him to stabilize himself on his feet. The baby was bigger than Xiana had been. Anita said that meant it was male. Squalo didn't give a **. It meant that he felt like a bloated whale, and as clumsy as new born foal.

Slowly, he made him way out of the room and down the hallway to the door labeled Xiana's Room. He knocked out of politeness, and entered. The room was still very empty. After the chaotic shopping trip before, Squalo wouldn't go shopping anymore. Xiana wouldn't go shopping without Squalo or Xanxus going with her. Xanxus was busy with a rather annoying bug that had popped up and had the entire Family in a panic. They had reached an impasse.

So the room remained bare of any real furniture. They had put a futon on the floor for Xiana to sleep on, though she rarely did. More often someone would wake up and find the little girl curled up in their bed with them or on a sofa or chair in the living room. She hated her room, and no amount of coaxing would get her to go out and get things for it.

"Xiana, do we need to talk?"

There was a little lump in the otherwise strait bed covers. It quivered when Squalo spoke. She didn't speak. Silently swearing, he lowered himself onto the futon and pulled the shaking lump to him. "Things will be easier once the baby is born. Think about it, you'll have a baby brother or sister to play with, and teach."

"…"

She didn't say anything, but after a moment, Xiana crawled out from under the blanket and curled up against Squalo, popping her thumb in her mouth. Squalo ran his fingers through the growing mass of black hair, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. When Xanxus checked in on them an hour later, the pair was fast asleep.

* * *

Yami: Squalo you fail as a mother, that is not a talk. You're supposed to sit her down, hold her there -or in our case have three people hold us there- and tell them what for!

Squalo: Shut up! I'm still new to this!

Yami: That you are Squalo. That you are. R&R peeps.

P.S. I fooooound something to bitch about. The latest episode of the Reborn! anime over in Japan. What. The. F*!? "We must send you back ten years for a short time so you can meet all the f*ing arcobalenos and take a f*ing test of each of them so you can use the f*ing rings!"

F* F* F* F*! I know that they needed a few filler episodes, and I'm really glad we get to meet Verde and Fon and Luche as chibis but...Jesus f*ing Christ! Why in such a haphazard fashion! GIVE ME MOOOOORE PLOT! This is just thrown together worse than a rushed dinner job at my aunt's house. -sigh- And I was really hoping we'd get to see the training scenes instead. I want to see our favorite baby lion Natsu (I will NOT call him Nuts! Tsuna, you f*ing suck at naming!)

Oh well, at least we get to see Verde -purrs-


	63. Disapperance

Yami: ngh, I need to write another Hibari/Chrome story. I've got it in my head and everything. I blame Silent Hill for it too. I had a f*ing weird dream last night where I went to my best friend's lake house, but it lacked the lake, and the house was shared with other people, and suddenly the apartment we were staying in got smaller but it was still connected to the other part. And a f*ing mallet scorpian tried to attack me! Then Hibari and Chrome popped up and the entire place turned Silent Hill on me, and we were all hiding inside the tiny little apartment, with no electricty, and no way out, and my friend was drunk, and I had a shot gun, and Chrome was crying and Hibari was trying to make her stop crying and then I woke up as a f*ing hanger jumps into the room!

Kenshin: Note! F*ing hangers. Appears in Silent Hill origin in the old theator. Creepy as shit, walks on the ceiling till you knock it down and it walks on its hands. Best course of action: blow it's f*ing head off.

Yami: Thank you Kenshin. On a side note, I love Silent Hill. I have the PSP video game, and it gives me nightmares and I love it X3 The only better movies are Stephen King, who I would marry in a heartbeat just for his books.

Squalo: F*ing weirdo.

Yami: Thank you f*ing woman.

SqualoL VOOOOI!

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue. Yami-dono, isn't next chapter the delivery?

Squalo: FINALLY!

Yami: Oh yes, I do believe it is. -smirks- pooooor Squalo.

Squalo: Wait...what O.o

Yami: -evil laughter-

* * *

**Disapperance**

A wave of nausea washed over Squalo. With a groan, he sat in the nearest chair and leaned back. The baby was being difficult again. Turning and twisting, sucking every speck of extra nutrients from Squalo, more than it should! The bloody doctor kept telling Squalo things were okay, he just had a hungry baby in his f*ing uterus. This didn't make the silver haired _man_ feel any better.

He sat in the chair for an hour before he gathered enough energy to get up. Stupid baby, being so big. After checking his watch, past lunch time, he headed for the dojo. Xiana would be in there, training with Yamamoto. He wanted to keep track of her improving skills. He smiled, glowing with pride. Really, Xiana was the perfect heir. Her moves were fluid and perfect. Even without a real sword, she cut through the air perfectly, slicing practicing dummies perfectly and perfectly managed to defend herself against Yamamoto's assaults. Not only that, she had beautiful aim when it came to guns, and she'd be able to handle an AK-47 before she was eight!

Entering the dojo, he looked around. Something was wrong. Yamamoto was pacing, constantly checking his cell phone.

"What's wrong?"

The younger man jumped and whipped around. Nervously, he said, "Xiana hasn't shown up yet."

"She's an hour late!"

"I know! But she hasn't shown up yet! Everyone is looking for her but…" Squalo didn't stay to listen anymore; he turned and hurried off in search of his daughter. He passed tons of people, all searching for Xiana. When he came across Xanxus, he grabbed his husband and demanded where their daughter was.

"I don't know! We've been looking for almost an hour!" Xanxus snapped. He looked worried.

"Where's my baby girl!?"

Rosalina and Anita appeared out of nowhere and gently guided him to a chair. "Calm down Master Squalo," Rosalina cooed softly. "Mistress Xiana couldn't have gotten far."

"Perhaps she asked someone to take her for gelato, she wanted some," suggested Anita.

Squalo blinked. A little more than an hour ago, Xiana had come to him, whining for gelato. Too tired, he had told her to ask someone else. The nearest gelato shop was… Tugging his arms away from the two women, he hurried away.

Next time, take the goddamn car, Squalo thought to himself as he jogged along the street. He felt ridiculous. He had to wear a loose t-shirt nowadays to hide the obvious bump in his lower belly, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never stand up strait. He always had to lean back so he didn't fall over. Why can't it be smaller?

There! He ran as fast as he dared into Madam Mimi's, and looked around. He sighed. There, at the counter, talking to Madam Mimi herself, was Xiana. Fran and Basil sat on either side of her. "Xiana!"

Xiana looked around and smiled. "Mamma!" She jumped off her stool and ran over, hugging her mother. She drew away with a cry of distress. "Mamma, you're all sweaty! What were you doing? Running?"

Squalo didn't answer; instead he just hugged his daughter and led her back to the counter. "Next time you go out with people, tell _someone!_ You've had us all worried."

"'kay."

Instead of going right home, which is what Squalo had originally planned to do, he stayed to have a treat. He needed some sugar, bad. F*ing baby.

* * *

Yami: There you go, and enjoy the tourmenting wait for tomorrows update, where the new baby shall be born.

Kenshin: Yami-dono, sadistic does not suit you.

Yami: Eh? Really? I thought I did just fine but oh well. R&R!!!!

P.S. has anyon else SEEN the Silent Hill movies? F*ing rocks! XD I love horrrrrrrrooooooorrrrrrrrrrrr!


	64. Why Men Shouldn't Drive To The Hospital

Yami: Here it is. The second birth! It's a lot more stressfull for Squalo this time -and everyone else- so give Squalo your sympathes. On a side note, does anyone know what goes into a Purple People Eater alcoholic drink? The one who two nights ago I _dreamed_ got drunk got drunk last night on that and I think vodka...I couldn't tell...she was giggling a lot...and slurring her words...But I got to tell her I told you so this morning so I'm happy XD

Kenshin: Yami-dono, just start the chapter, no one reads this anyways.

Yami: D: yes they do! They love me!

Kenshin: -.- denial is a strange thing.

Yami: -points at reviews- PROOF that they read these dumb notes, now shut up, sit up strait, and stop drinking my f*ing tea!

Kenshin: O.O -puts tea down- Don't own, don't sue.

Yami: XD you'll all laugh at the name. I know you will.

* * *

**Why Men Shouldn't Drive To The Hospital**

Last time, Xiana had come earlier than anyone had expected. The f*ing doctor had chuckled when he heard what happened. "Children determine when they want to come out, ready for not." Luckily, she had been ready. But this time, once Squalo reached the final term, everyone waited nervously for another early baby.

It didn't come. Everyone relaxed, and things returned to normal as the ninth month rolled in. If the baby didn't come in a week, they'd go and force the labor. Everyone figured that's what they'd have to do. How wrong they were.

Squalo had been feeling the contractions for the past few days. They were growing more frequent, and he told himself that was okay. The baby was coming a few days sooner than expected. But when Tuesday July 25th arrived, the house was, for once, nearly empty. Xanxus had taken Lussuria, Levi, Bel, and Mammon out with most of their subordinates to eliminate a major threat. Tsuna and his own guardians had gone as well, leaving Timoteo, Squalo, Xiana, Fran, and a few others. Most of the butlers and maids were gone as well for their once a year break. Two weeks of no work for them, during which the Vongola Family fended for itself.

"Damn it," Squalo groaned, shifting in his seat. "No more kids! Ever! Unless that no good, horny bastard wants to carry it to term."

Xiana giggled from her spot between Squalo's feet. "Mamma isn't happy?"

"No! I can't move, I can't sleep, I feel fat, and this is f*ing ridiculous."

"F*ing ridiculous," agreed Xiana.

"Watch your f*ing language," he said absently. A giggle. He nudged her with his foot. "Where's Fran? FRAN!"

"What?" the young teen asked from over by the bookshelf. "Do you need anything, or are you just yelling for the hell of it?"

"VOOIII! Don't piss me off!"

"You manage that yourself."

"Brat!"

Xiana fell into a fit of hopeless giggles. Squalo snorted. Fran sighed.

The joyful atmosphere was broken when the shark let out a painful gasp and clutched at his stomach. "F*!"

"Mamma?"

"Is the baby coming?" Fran asked. His voice was casual but there was a hint of nervousness under it.

"Yes," Squalo panted. Another contraction hit.

"We gotta get mamma to the doctor!" shrieked Xiana. She grabbed Squalo's hand and began pulling desperately. "Fran help…I…I need to get grandpa!" She left, screaming for her grandfather.

Fran sighed despairingly, and helped Squalo to his feet. "Let's go before your water breaks."

A groan. "Too late."

"Do you think the baby planned this? A child of yours must have bad timing," said Fran.

"Shut you little bastard," said Squalo.

"I'm just saying," said Fran.

"And I'm saying shut the f* up and help me to the car!"

Helping a man who was at least a foot taller and weighed at least thirty pounds more than himself was a little difficult. They had only just made it down the stairs when Timoteo, Anita –who always remained at the mansion –and Xiana appeared.

"Let's go, I'll drive," Timoteo said, shepherding everyone into the car. Xiana and Anita got into the back with Squalo, who was breathing heavily. Fran quickly took shoot gun, and pulled a shoot gun from under the dash board. Just incase.

They were on the road before Anita passed a phone to Xiana with orders to call her father. She dialed and wiggled impatiently for her dad to answer. When he did, she babbled into the phone worriedly.

"Wait! WAIT!"

She fell silent.

"Say that again. Slowly."

"Mamma is having the baby!" Xiana yelled. "An-EEP!" If she hadn't been wearing her seatbelt, the child would have been thrown through the front window. Instead she just got a nasty bruise across her chest. Timoteo cursed.

"We're stuck in traffic," sighed the ninth Vongola.

"WHAT!?" shrieked Squalo. "WE CAN'T BE STUCK! I CAN FEEL THE BABY COMING NOW!"

Xiana started to cry. Fran took the phone and informed his boss on the situation. Anita tried to calm Squalo down before he started crying too.

"I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE BABY IN THE F*ING CAR!"

"WHHAAA! PAPÀ! PAPÀ!"

-BEEEEEEEEEP!- "HURRY IT UP! MY SECOND GRANDCHILD IS ON THE WAY!"

"Oh, and now the driver in front of us is flicking us off. Should I get the license plate?"

"Calm down Squalo, breath in, hold it, breath out. If worst comes to worst, I'll deliver the baby. Just calm down."

The traffic was moving horribly slow. Normally, traffic was nil, but some idiot decided that a four car pile up at a major intersection would be fun. Cars were backed up for an hour at minimal. Another car accident only a few yards in front of them backed them up further. Fran was considering shooting someone, just to see if that got traffic moving. The screams from the back seat were getting annoying, as were the yells from the cell phone he was forced to keep talking into.

"We need to hurry," Anita called over Squalo's screams after three hours. "Anything you can do?"

"Apart from get out and carry him through a traffic accident? No," replied Timoteo.

"We could call for the doctor to run out here."

"NO! I am NOT having the baby in a CAR!"

Xiana looked out the window nervously. They were still just on the outside of town, and not due to move for awhile. There were police patrolling the lines on bikes, trying to help things along, but it almost seemed like they were making it worse. Something caught her vision. The dance studio.

"_I've raised five daughters and four sons! Do you ladies think I can't handle twenty of you for two hours each day!?"_

The door flew open and Xiana jumped out of the car, running as fast as she could towards the dance studio. Over it, Madam Maputo lived with her husband and youngest daughter. She was a nurse! "Xiana! Where are you going?" Timoteo called after his granddaughter.

"TO GET HELP!"

The doors to the dance studio were closed and locked, as it was lunch time, and the family ate upstairs. She pounded on the doors, screaming for her teacher. "MADAM MAPUTO! OPEN PLEASE!" She must have spent ten minutes banging on the door before the woman appeared. She unlocked the door and demanded what Xiana wanted.

"My mamma!" she exclaimed. "Mamma is having the baby! But we're stuck in traffic! Please Madam Maputo! Help mamma!"

The old woman considered the child for a moment, taking in her tear stained face, and fists red from pounding on the door. "Okay, I'll get Stella, wait here." She disappeared. Five minutes later, she, her husband, a young woman, and two young men reappeared. "Now where is your mother?"

Xiana lead the group over to the car. It hadn't moved at all, though there were a few officers there, asking questions. Xiana pushed them aside and threw herself back into the car. "Mamma, I brought help! The baby won't be born in the car!"

"Good…job…" Squalo panted. Madam Maputo's two sons quickly got Squalo out of the car, and with their father and Timoteo's help, got him into the dance studio and up the stairs. Once there, the women shooed the men out of the room, keeping Xiana in.

"You'll bring us things we need, okay?" Stella told her. Xiana nodded, wiping the tears with her sleeve. "You're a very brave girl, now just keep being brave and everything will be okay." She nodded again and ran to get some towels.

The hours ticked by slowly. The final assault that the Vongola Family was apart of was taking place. Things were going well for them. If all went as planned, everyone would be home tomorrow. Xiana stayed by Squalo's side, offering him water, or holding his hand when the pain became too much.

Twelve hours later, the baby's first cries sounded. Squalo relaxed and smiled when Stella placed the newborn baby on his chest. "It's a healthy boy," she said.

Anita and Madam Maputo smiled as they cleared away the mess of bloody towels. Xiana ran out and returned a few minutes later with a large tub of warm water. Once she put the tub down, she pulled out a cell phone and dialed up Xanxus. "Papà, I didn't get a baby sista," she said somberly as she crawled up onto the bed. She poked the baby. "But I guess he's kinda cute."

Squalo laughed and on the other end, Xanxus chuckled. "What should we name him?" Squalo asked.

A pause then, "Xiale."

"That'll work. What about a middle name?"

"Grandpa!" Xiana exclaimed. "Name him after grandpa! I'm named after grandma!"

A longer pause, "Fine."

"Xiale Timoteo Superbia Vongola it is."

* * *

Yami: On a side note, the title is a stab at our dad who drove so slow to the hospital when mom was in labor we were almost born in the car. Mom wasn't happy.

Kenshin: I bet, but you also came a week early, which your mother probably prefered to your brother.

Yami: That's right, baby brother was a itty bitty preemie. He was small enough to fit in my hand ^-^ so cute...now he's bigger, with varying manners, and can be annoying as heeeeeelllllllll. DX

Kenshin: As he should be -sips Yami's tea-

Yami: D: MY TEAAAA! -attacks-

Kenshin: O.O -runs-

Xiana:...R&R f*ing people! :D


	65. Greetings

Yami: T^T the laptop I use fried itself again. I'm really getting annoyed here.

Kenshin: Don't worry Yami-dono. Just wait a week and it will be back.

Yami: But the chapter that OFFICALLY connects this story with the YamaGoku story is on there and NOT on my flashdrive -sob-

Kenshin: -pats Yami's back- there, there Yami-dono, here's some bacon.

Yami: OoO BACON! NOM NOM!

Kenshin: XD don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Greetings**

Xanxus walked through the maternity ward, looking for room 221. Behind him, the rest of the Varia, Tsuna and his guardians, and fifteen or so others followed. The nurses were glaring at them all, and the nurse leading them walked stiffly, more furious than afraid. When they reached the room, she said only two in at a time. Xanxus went in first, telling everyone else to wait their f*ing turn.

Inside he found his wife sitting up in bed, watching TV. In his arms was a little bundle wrapped up in a black blanket. He was holding the bundle at an angle Xanxus had long associated with breastfeed, and sure enough, under the sounds of the TV, there was a gentle sucking sound. Xiana was lying against her mother, thumb in her mouth, fast asleep.

"Took you long enough f*er," Squalo grumbled when he saw Xanxus standing in the doorway.

The Varia leader glared but hurried over anyways and looked at the little face hidden in the blankets. A mess of black hair, peach skin several shades darker than Xiana and Squalo's. The baby hiccupped when Xanxus poked its cheek. Squalo slapped his hand away. "Stop that, I'm feeding him, you can hold him in a minute!"

It was considerably more than a minute, more like ten minutes. But finally the new addition to the Vongola family was nestled in his father's arms, staring up at the man with a rather calm expression on his young face. When he poked the child's cheek, a hand reached out slowly and tried to grab hold. After a few swipes, he caught Xanxus's finger and stuck it in his mouth.

With a small smile, Xanxus nodded.

The family went home the next day, after everyone had had a chance to coo over the new addition in the hospital room. Now, the proud new parents stood in the middle of a massive semi-circle of Family, laughing and cheering and pointing at the baby. "He looks just like you Xanxus!" "Yeah! He'll have to beat off women with a stick when he's older!" "Or other boys!" "HAHAHA!" "If he's anything like his dad, he'll be topping." The last statement started a whole new round of laughter.

The only person missing out of the entire Vongola Family and closer allies was Xiana, who was at dance class, and due to be picked up in ten minutes.

"He's absolutely precious," Dino's new bride exclaimed as she smiled down at the newborn. Somehow, Xiale was sleeping through all the noise. "He'll be a strong addition to the Family in a few years."

Squalo nodded and thanked her. Dino was busy talking to Xanxus about the boy's future training. "Same as Xiana."

"Speaking of Xiana," said Dino, looking around. "Where is she? I haven't gotten my usual tackle yet?" Since she had learned to properly run, Xiana had tackled Dino every time upon spotting him.

"At dance class," Squalo said, absently checking his watch. "I need to pick her up a…in five minutes!" Carefully, he placed Xiale in his father's arms and ran out of the room.

-Dance studio-

Xiana glared at the doors, watching people walking by. They were talking excitedly, laughing, chatting away with friends or on phones. Women in pretty dresses walked by with sophisticated dogs. Not one of them was who she was looking for and as the minutes ticked by; her glare became more and more pronounced. "Should have gone with Ariel," she mumbled to herself.

Fifteen minutes! She'd been here fifteen minutes! Ariel had left ten minutes ago, along with all the other girls. Madam Maputo had tsk-ed when she saw Xiana was the only one left and had offered to call her parents.

"If mamma and papà don't come I'll go on my own!" Xiana had snapped.

"It's a forty-five minute walk to your house."

"And I'll walk it and show them not to forget me!"

Ten more minutes trickled by. Furious, and blinking tears of anger from her eyes, Xiana grabbed her bag and stormed out of the studio. She barely got ten feet before she crashed headlong into a person running in the opposite direction. "Xiana!"

"Mamma!" Then she remembered she was angry and glared. "You forgot me again!"

"I didn't forget you, no one would give me the f*ing keys to the car, so I had to run here. Now let's go home and have lunch." Grudgingly, Xiana took her mother's real right hand, and the two started walking back towards the mansion.

Xiana had noticed long ago that her mamma's left hand wasn't real. It didn't move at all like his right hand. It couldn't hold heavy objects, or grasp things tightly. It did the basic functions and nothing else. But she didn't mind. It was cool.

They arrived home fifty minutes later, and Xiana did a few things before they had lunch. First off, she attempted to attack Tsuna, who was talking to Dino. He flipped her over his shoulder. Next, she dived at Dino, and tried to tackle him to the ground. He dodged. She went for Yamamoto next, grabbing a fire place poker as she went. He parried, and sent the poker flying out of her hands. Gokudera was her next target, and he quickly threw her off him. Her final victim was Xanxus, who she tried to fire a fire charged pen at. He caught it, snapped it in two, and still managed to catch her and flip her upside down when she dived at him.

"Work on simplifying your moves," he told her, tickling her sides so she squirmed and laughed. Once he was certain she had learned her lesson, he let her drop to the floor. She caught herself on one hand and flipped onto her feet. The guests all clapped. She bowed, grinning.

"Enough showing off!" Squalo shouted from the doorway. "Get over here, you need to eat lunch!"

Quickly pecking her father on the cheek –and poking Xiale's nose –Xiana ran from the room, eager for food. So far, things hadn't been too bad with the baby around. They were almost normal again. Except for the constant partying, and visitors, and the annoying crying at weird hours of the night. Maybe soon, mamma or papà would go with her to get her furniture and paint!

With that happy thought, Xiana ate her lunch before heading off to her other lessons.

* * *

Yami: Ta-da, Xiana loves showing off her skillz.

Kenshin: Cute...

Yami: Yeah...soooo we're going to see the new Harry Potter movie tonight and I am so EXCITED! I've been reading Harry Potter for years. We have all the DVDs, all the CD books, all the books, I've read/listened to all of them more than four times, we have a TON of harry potter games X3 I'm Harry Potter fanatic and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Kenshin: So R&R.

P.S. You'll all notice a slight shift in chapter numbering and such. I found the original chapter of TYL Xiana I wrote, and added it...but liked the other one so much I didn't want to delete it...so I just left both up. Take a look, though you probably can't review.


	66. Under The Bed

Yami: And here's the first notice of a problem with little Xiana. Call her a brat, call her spoiled, but don't give up on her.

Kenshin: That doesn't sound very convincing Yami-dono.

Yami: I don't care if it's convincing! It's the truth! Now speak the words!

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Under The Bed**

Xanxus paused in his work for a moment to stretch. He cast a quick glance at the clock. Midnight…he needed to go to bed. Standing, he stretched again, turned off his computer and desk lamp, and left his office. A new baby meant one thing, less sleep. He had spent the day trying to keep Xiana from attacking her brother.

Things were…not good. At first, Xiana was just as excited as everyone else. But then, her mood slowly began to deteriorate. It was just little things, Squalo would ask her to watch him while he went to get something and he'd come back to find Xiale inches from grasping a knife or almost falling off the table or couch where he was.

"He wanted to sit with me," Xiana had said innocently. "He wanted to lie on the table." "I didn't put the knife there. Ask Uncle Bel." Always a perfectly good excuse, and she always just skipped away while Squalo dealt with a sobbing Xiale.

Sighing, he pushed open to door to Xiana's room to check on her. Fast asleep. He checked Xiale's room next. The little bundle was sleeping soundly in his crib. His cheeks were slightly red. Leaving the room, he finally entered his own room. Squalo was also fast asleep, but woke the moment Xanxus shut the door.

"Is Xiale okay?"

"His cheeks were red."

Squalo let out a weak moan and got up, intent on getting the baby. "He's got a fever…"

"Lay down, I'll get him. I'm already up." Squalo didn't need telling twice. He fell back onto the bed and was out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow.

Throwing on pajamas, Xanxus left his room and reentered Xiale's. The baby was still asleep, but in the few short minutes, his breaths had become short pants, and the red had spread across the bridge of his nose.

"Little brat causing trouble," he mumbled. Xiale whined as he was lifted out of the crib but fell silent when he was safely cradled in his father's arms. He returned to his room, and got in bed. Squalo remained fast asleep. Shifting the little bundle, he found that if he held him upright with his head resting on his shoulder, Xiale's breathing evened out. There wasn't much else Xanxus could do till the morning. He had learned long ago that he shouldn't ever try to give a child medicine when he gave Xiana aspirin because her wrist hurt. Squalo, Rosalina, and Anita threw a fit.

The door opened suddenly and a little figure poked her head in. "Papà…," she whispered, sounding scared.

"What?"

"Papà there's something in my closet," she whimpered.

Xanxus raised one harsh eyebrow. Xiana wasn't known for being scared of many things. When she had been little every now and then when something sounded under her bed –usually a noise making toy –she would demand him check there, and whenever a storm popped up, she would run to their room. But the closet? "There is nothing in your closet," he told her calmly.

"But I heard something move!"

"Shhhh! Your brother and mother are sleeping."

"I don't care! Something is in my closet!"

"No there isn't!" he whispered loudly.

"Papà…" She stopped as Xanxus adjusted the baby in his arms. Scowling, she turned and stormed away. He leaned back, and prepared for a long night.

There was a knock on another door a few down. "What… Oh hello, what's wrong princess?"

"There's something in my closet."

"Well, I'll have a look shall I?"

"Yes, you shall." The door closed, Feet padded across the hall and into another room. For several minutes, there was silence. Then a yelp followed by a shriek echoed from the room and through the hallway. Xanxus jumped up. Squalo started. Doors banged open. Someone started crying.

"What happened?" Levi demanded as he ran into Xiana's room.

Lussuria was clutching his hand, which was bleeding profusely. Xiana hid behind him, clutching at his nightshirt. Lying on the ground before them was a single little machine with a large needle and a blade protruding from it.

"That thing attacked us!" Lussuria cried dramatically. "It sliced open my hand. I'm lucky it didn't stick me! Who knows what's on there."

"SEE!" Xiana exclaimed, glaring at her father when he appeared. "I TOLD YOU THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THERE!"

"Don't fight now," Squalo snapped, pulling the pair away from the strange machine. "Get that f*ing mechanic in here!"

"Which one?"

"Whichever one is here!"

"Spanner then…"

An hour later, Shoichi and Spanner were ogling the little contraption, talking to each other, throwing back half finished phrases that made no sense.

"And the knife it…"

"Quick release mechanism…"

"But in conjunction with…"

"The needle probably, what's on…"

"Poison in it!"

"Not the knife though…"

"Amateur job…"

Lussuria's hand had been bandaged. With half the household up, Xanxus turned Xiale over to the resident nanny/maid Rosalina for treatment of fever. Squalo was trying to calm Xiana –who was throwing a fit –down.

"And he didn't even…"

"Well how often is there actually anything bad under your bed?"

"It was my closet!"

"Where you keep your noise toys."

"But none of them…"

"Xiana please…"

It was past three when everyone finally got back to bed. Xiale's fever had gone down. Xiana had stopped yelling at her parents and gone to sleep in Bel's room –no one was stupid enough to try sneaking in there. The two machine junkies determined that the little machine had snuck in through the window when it had been opened during the day. It had legs. It could walk. And it was programmed to stay hidden till the occupant was asleep and then hit them with the needle. The knife was a secondary defense system incase anyone found it. The poison was cyanide.

"Nice to know people are out to kill our daughter," Squalo mumbled as he lay back down. He was angry at Xanxus for not going to check what the problem had been. But he couldn't blame him. He would he been skeptical at going to look in the closed closet too.

Sighing, he and Xanxus fell back asleep.

* * *

Yami: It really isn't her fault. The sudden trancision from center of attention to second place is hard. I know I hated it.

Kenshin: But you loved your little brother.

Yami: After I got into a fight at school, yelled at by mom, and finally had a crying baby brother who shut up when I held him. Little brat just grew on me.

Kenshin: Does that mean Xiale-sama will grow on Xiana-dono?

Yami: Wait and see. R&R

P.S. The movie lover in me was very very happy with the new HP movie. It was beautiful, wonderful, with enough excitement and drama and humor and romance. The book lover in me however, is sobbing uncontrollably in the corner. Look at it not from the book's view or you will be sorely upset.


	67. Ice Skating Lesson

Yami: Don't think ill of everyone when you read this chapter. A sick baby is a hard thing to deal with.

Hikari: -cough premie cough-

Yami: Shut up brat!

Hikari: You're only a few minutes older! You shut up!

Toitsu: =__= how about you both shut up.

Yami/Hikari: SHE STARTED IT!

Toitsu: -sigh- Kenshin?

Kenshin: -.-' right...Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Ice Skating Lesson**

"I take back everything I said at it being okay," Xiana grumbled to Ariel one breezy November day. Her fifth birthday had come and gone with little recognition from the family. Xiale was sick and his cries kept her parents and uncles and aunts endlessly busy as they all took shifts in taking care of him. "I wish I'd never had a brother."

"Don't say that," Ariel sighed, patting her friend's back. "I've got Adina to deal with, and she screams all the time, but I'd never wish ill on her."

"That's cause no one ignores you!"

"The ballet class threw you a party."

"That's them. I've got a hundred uncles and fifty aunts and none of them even noticed it was my birthday! They didn't even notice when Thanksgiving came and went. It's all about Xiale! Xiale this, Xiale that. Xiale needs to be changed. Xiale had another ear infection. Xiale has colic. Xiale has a fever. Honestly, he's a dysfunctional baby who can only cry and poop!"

Ariel had no come back for that. Xiale did get sick a lot. Just little things, like a lot of babies, but the fuss it caused was ridiculous.

"You know what, f* them! F* them all to hell!" A passing lady stared at Xiana with a horrified expression. "You got a problem hag!?" The woman hurried away.

"Calm," said Isaac as he led them into the skating ring. Seeing as Xiana was now five, the agreed age for horseback riding and ice skating, Maria had taken the children out a week ago to be signed up for both. Today was their first ice skating lesson, and after Christmas break, they'd start on horseback riding.

"I am calm!"

The butler who was escorting them smiled sardonically. "It doesn't sound that way to me Lady Xiana."

"F* you!"

Ariel gave her a good hard smack over the head. "Stop cussing or you'll get in trouble!"

Grumbling, Xiana fell silent. They stopped at a window to get skates and helmets and after the butler helped each of them get them on, the trio carefully stepped out onto the ice to join their fellows. There were eighteen kids in total, a mix of boys and girls ranging from ages five –the youngest they'd let them start in this ring- to seven. The teacher, a young Russian woman with her black hair in a tight bun, skated lazily around the group, looking at each in turn. Most of the children were clinging to the sides of the rink. Only a few had figured how to stand on their skates without slipping. Xiana was one of them.

"Welcome to first ice skating lesson. I am Madam Swann. Some of you will go on to be figure skating champions, others will have fun enjoying this wonderful sport for leisure. How many of you are interested in figure skating?"

Xiana and another girl raised their hands.

"Very good. You two shall be my main targets of attack then. Now everyone stand up strait! We begin with actually moving!"

The first day was a disaster. Most of the children spent more time off their feet rather than on. Even Xiana kept falling, despite her near obsession with watching every figure skating competition. By the end of the lesson, everyone was sore. Ariel had fallen on her face and her nose had started to bleed. It stopped by the time they all had to leave.

"Good job everyone!" Madam Swann said, in her Russian accent. "I shall see you all tomorrow! Xiana, Isabella, wait a moment." Xiana and Isabella waited while everyone else stumbled away. "You like figure skating. Yes?"

"Very much Madam Swann," the two girls told her.

"You want to figure skate. Yes?"

"Very much Madam Swann."

Madam Swann pulled out two books from an inside pocket of her jacket and handed them to the two girls. "Practice these moves at home. To become figure skater, you must train hard! I will make you two figure skaters. It is what we Russians do." She smiled at a private joke, and then clapped the two on the shoulder. "Go now."

They left.

The butler returned Xiana to her home and took his two young charges back to their own home. Xiana hurried into the mansion and ran strait to the Varia living room. Bel and Mammon were in there, watching CSI. She leapt onto Bel's lap and shoved the book in his face. "Look! Madam Swann gave me a book! And she said she'd make me a figure skater!"

"Ushishishi, the princess will be a beautiful figure skater," chuckled Bel.

Xiana glowed before looking around. "Where's mamma and papà?"

"Doctors," answered Mammon.

Xiana scowled. Of course, for Xiale. Everything for Xiale. She left to go practice her moves.

* * *

Yami: Madam Swann has a human counterpart somewhere in the descendant line of original Disney Movies...don't look at me like that! I haven't watched one of those movies in over three years. Cartoons and childish shows are annoying now.

Toitsu: Except Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

Yami: POWER TO THE IDIOTS!!!

Toitsu: Idiot.

Yami: Be quiet, I grew up with them! They'll never leave my black heart.

Toitsu: And that Siames kitten show, and Arthur, and Franklin, and Little Bear, and Mighty Ducks, and...

Yami: OK! OK! I get it! Stop naming off my old shows that I watch when I'm f*ing bored!

Toitsu: ^-^

Yami: I haaaate you.

Hikari: R&R R&R R&R R&R R&R!


	68. White Skates

Yami: OoO

Kenshin: YAMI-DONO! PLEASE SPEAK TO THIS ONE!

Yami: OoO

Xanxus: What's wrong with her?

Kenshin: SHE'S BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE SHE SAW THE NEW EPISODE OF REBORN!!

Squalo: Episode 142? What about it?

Kenshin: -whispers- they show all the arcobaleno in the opening and in the episode. And she got confused. Not only that, but the preview shows Lal-dono and Colonnello-sama pointing guns at each other. Her brain seems to have exploded.

Squalo/Xanxus: ooooo

Yami: OoO

Kenshin: don't own, don't sue. OH YAMI-DONO! COME BACK!

* * *

**White Skates**

Xiana glared at the doors. Yet again. Late. Huffing, she grabbed her bag and left the building, calling a semi polite goodbye to her ballet teacher. Outside was cold, and the wind blew harshly. Wrapping her scarf more firmly around her neck and lower face, she started off towards home.

It was an hour before she reached the gates that guarded the long driveway to the manor. She slipped through the bars and walked slowly up the long driveway. Twenty minutes later, she pushed open the door and entered just as Xanxus rounded the corner. His eyes widened when he saw his daughter standing there. A moment later, a guilty look overcame his face.

"F*. You." Xiana snarled, furiously tugging off her hat and scarf and throwing them down. She stripped off her gloves and wriggled out of her heavy jacket and sweater, leaving all of this in a pile for a maid to get. Turning, she stormed off towards the kitchen to get a late lunch.

The chef was beside himself with worry when Xiana walked in, her lips and nose tinted blue. Her cheeks were red but frozen. "What did you do!? Walk home?" he demanded as he put some soup on the stove. Arthur was a nice middle aged man. He'd been all over the world, at every big name cooking school, and all the big name restaurants. Now he and his wife and family worked for the Vongola Family in the kitchens.

"Yes," she grumbled, brushing the snow from her hair. "Papà forgot to pick me up."

"Your brother decided to throw up, and kept your parents busy for the last three hours," the man sighed. "Next time call me, I'll come get you."

"Thanks Arthur," she mumbled. He placed a bowl of soup and some hot chocolate in front of her. She ate silently.

She had her sword lesson next, but she had no desire to go. Mamma would be taking care of Xiale again, so Yamamoto would be training her unless he had been sent on a mission. Instead, she wrapped herself up in fresh warm clothes, and told Rosalina she was going outside to play. It showed how distracted the maid was that she told her to have fun. Outside was a near blizzard.

Before she went outside, she slipped into her father's office and stole his wallet. Now with a gold card, and about a four hundred and twenty seven hundred euro, she left the manor.

She had been meaning to do this for awhile. If her parents weren't going to do anything with her, she'd learn to do things herself.

It took her an hour and thirty minutes to get to the first shop. It was an ice skating shop. Madam Swann had said she needed her own ice skates. "White, for you are a girl," she said. "If you want black, you wear only during practice." She had been very firm about that.

The man behind the counter looked shocked to see such a young girl in his shop alone. More so when she demanded to see a pair of white skates. "Madam Swann said I need some of my own," she explained when the man raised an eyebrow. The name opened a path for her money wouldn't have. An hour later, and after many questions, Xiana had her skates. She also got a skate care kit, a workout outfit, and a cute hair scrunchy.

"Doing all this by yourself, you must be a very mature girl," the man said, a slight smile on his face.

"Nope," Xiana admitted honestly. "Mamma just had a baby, and everyone forgot I exist."

The man laughed, and patted her head. "Well, any time you need something, come around here and ask for Tom."

"Okay, and I'm Xiana." She waved and left. She went to a ballet store next. She needed new shoes.

-Manor-

Xiale had finally fallen asleep after almost six hours of complaint. Squalo had missed lunch, and Xanxus had forgotten to pick up Xiana. She had come home furious, Xanxus told him.

"We need to apologize," said Squalo after he had tucked Xiale in and left the nursery. "We've been so busy with Xiale, she probably feels a bit left out." Xanxus nodded, and they went in search of their daughter.

An hour later, Squalo was panicking. Xiana wasn't in the Varia wing. They'd checked everywhere! Tsuna and his friends had checked their wing, and found no trace of her. Arthur the chef said he'd fed the girl lunch, but then she vanished. It was half an hour later that Rosalina suddenly gasped. "I saw here!" she exclaimed. "She said she was going outside to play!"

Everyone stared at her than out the nearest window. The winds had died down some, but only the determined or the insane were outside right now. Bundling up, everyone went outside to search for her. It was Gokudera, who had walked out front and asked the gate keeper, who got the first clue. "She left," he told everyone, when they had gathered inside.

Xanxus ran back inside to get his wallet and keys. He got the keys, but the wallet was missing. "F*!" He returned to the group. "She took my wallet."

"What the f* is she doing with your wallet?" demanded Squalo, who looked close to tears.

No one had an answer for that. Gokudera, Lussuria, and Iemitsu all grabbed car keys as well, and the group set off in search of the Varia Princess.

-With Xiana-

Xiana shivered and looked around at the shops. She had her ballet shoes, and some tape to wrap up her ankles. She had her skating equipment. She had new shoes –combat boots –, some cargo pants, new shirts, and had put in an order for several new video games. Feeling that she had gotten her revenge, she decided that some nice hot chocolate would be nice.

She dodged into the nearest diner and ordered three hot chocolates. She drank all three greedily, paid, and left. Luckily, or unluckily, she missed Mammon running in to ask if a little girl fitting her description was in there.

Squalo was almost in tears now. They had been searching for hours! The winds were getting stronger again, and it was getting darker and colder! Xiana was still out there! She hadn't bundled up properly! She hadn't even worn her favorite scarf and hat! He should have paid more attention! He should have gone to get her himself. Then she wouldn't have run away!

"Wait!" Bel's voice cut through Squalo's depression. He pointed out the window. "There!" A small figure, laden with shopping bags, was walking along the street.

Squalo threw open the door of the still moving car and ran at the little person. "XIANA!"

The child looked up. It was Xiana. She stared in shock as her mother raced over and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

"VOOOI! WHY THE F* DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE!?" he demanded, clinging to his daughter. "I was worried sick!"

Xiana blinked, before saying simply, "I wanted to get my skates, and everyone was busy."

Now openly sobbing, Squalo kissed her twice, hugged her again, and ushered her into the car waiting car.

Xanxus was furious, but so relieved that he didn't bother yelling at her. Squalo was too happy to care. After getting her to drink some hot soup and tea with lemon and honey, Squalo wrapped her up in a warm blanket and sat with her through several long movies. Xiana was happy. She had her stuff, hadn't gotten punished for going out, and she got four long hours with her parents to herself.

Of course, good times always end. Xiale started crying. Squalo went to deal with him. This left Xiana and Xanxus to finish the movies by themselves.

* * *

Reborn: -poking Yami- I think she's really dead.

Skull: What should we do sempai?

Reborn: You can go get me coffee.

Colonnello: Me too.

Skull: Verde! They're being mean to me again! ToT

Verde: So? Tell Luche, I'm busy trying to see if I can fix this girl's brain!

Luche: Reborn! Colonnello! Stop it or I'll send you both to Lal, and you know how she gets when I have to send you two for punishment.

Colonnello: -perverted thoughts-

Fon: -looks at Kenshin- Why did you call us again?

Kenshin: Because you all caused this, so you all can fix this!

Reborn: All I did was look sexy.

Colonnello: Same here.

Verde: Sama sama.

Skull: I looked adorable.

Viper: She broke her brain trying to figure out if I was female or not. I have no need to help her without payment.

Fon: =__= idiots.

Luche: And you wonder why I avoid you guys. Lal is better company! And she doesn't like to talk!

Verde: FIXED IT!

Yami: yaoiyaoiyaoiyaoi.

Everyone: O.O

Verde: oops. Never mind. do that...thing.

Kenshin: T-T R&R -sob- YAMI-DONO!!!!! COME BACK TO US!

Yami: Yaoi?

Skull: What's yaoi?


	69. Sugar Plum Princess

Yami: Now that I'm back from the land of chibis and adults -has bleeding head wound-

Reborn: -smirks holding wand of sanity- Happy to help.

Yami: If you weren't so damn sexy right now, I'd turn you back to a chibi!

Reborn: Of course you would -pats Yami's head- Start talking to them already.

Yami: I'll make my excuses now. I took ballet lessons when I was reeeeaaallly young...I sucked. Hikari had fun and Toitsu was beautiful, but I lack the grace, beauty, and patients involved to do it. F*ing twinkle toed bitch of a teacher too...anyways, so ignore the blantant skip in the chapter.

Kenshin: You could have tried...

Yami: F* that.

Kenshin: -sigh- don't own, don't sue.

Reborn: Or I'll come after you -smirks-

* * *

**Suger Plum Princess**

"But I don't want to! Give the role to Ariel! She loves doing ballet!" Xiana cried, frustrated with Madam Maputo. Their first recital was coming up in a few weeks, and she had been chosen for the lead role. "I don't want to play Clara!" Their first performance was to be the Nut Cracker, a joint presentation with the best of Madam Maputo's boy's class.

"You said you wanted a challenge," commented Madam Maputo. "Let this be your challenge. Do well and I'll never make you take the lead role again."

"Go for it Ana," Ariel whispered, poking her friend in the side. "You'll make your mamma and papà really proud."

That conversation had taken place several weeks ago. Xiana had gone home and grumpily informed the Family of her new lead role. Everyone had happily congratulated her and promised to make time.

"It's been almost a year now," Lussuria sighed. "And now you're finally putting on a performance."

Xiana didn't say her thoughts. All she wanted was to get the thing over with.

-The day of the performance-

"Vooi! Where's the medicine?" demanded Squalo, agitated beyond belief. Xiale had a fever, and was sneezing and coughing up a storm. They couldn't go to the performance if he stayed like this!

"We ran out," Rosalina sighed. The empty bottle was in her hands. "Maybe we should take him to the emergency room. He's getting worse."

Squalo scowled, but conceded that it was the best course of action. Ten minutes later, he and Xanxus were in the car, hurrying to the emergency room for the second time in the past few months. The place was full of people. The cries of children filled the room along with the angry words, coughing and hacking of the ill and sick.

They sat down, preparing for another long wait. If it hadn't been so late, they'd have gone to the pediatrician. But it was already six now, and the office had closed at five.

This isn't what Squalo had signed up for when they had another child. Given, you can't sign up for parenthood, but this was ridiculous. They were in and out of the doctor's office at least three times a month with common childhood illnesses. Xiana had never gotten sick this often! A few ear infections but that was expected. Not fevers, colic, and everything other infantile illness!

"It was easier with Xiana," grumbled Squalo, gently bouncing the sobbing baby in his arms. At least Xiale didn't cry loudly. He was a quiet baby. His sobbing usually consisted of soft whimpers and weak whines. And he wasn't fussy, unlike Xiana had been. He was more willing to try a bottle, but it had to have breast milk in it. Now if only he'd stop getting sick.

The doctor finally called them in two hours later. They ended up waiting another hour while the doctor dealt with a more serious emergency. When he finally came back, he checked over Xiale, spent thirty minutes just asking pointless questions. Xanxus's patience had long since run out, but he remained silent, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Finally, _finally_ the doctor gave them a prescription and sent them on their way.

The clock read ten by the time they got into the car.

The recital had gone well. Xiana had put on her best performance. As promised, Madam Maputo told her she'd never have to be the lead. She'd never admit it had been fun. All those eyes watching her move perfectly. If she pretended she was skating instead, it was all the better. The boy who had played the nutcracker was funny and good. He hadn't missed a beat. He even kissed her hand like a real prince when everything was over!

And she had seen her Family. Well, at least Uncle Lussuria. His hair made him stand out. When it was all over, they had rushed backstage to congratulate her. "Where's papà?" she asked, looking around. "And mamma?"

"They had to take Xiale to the hospital."

Just like that, the grandeur of the night died. Shaking with silent rage, Xiana left to change and refused to say a word all the way home. Upon arriving at the mansion, she slammed her door shut so hard, one of the nails popped out, and the frame cracked.

* * *

Yami: I used to be in band too. So did Hikari and Toitsu. Toitsu loved the bells and chimes, and Hikari loved playing the little things like wind chimes. I played cymbals! And every now and then just to piss our band instructor off or put on a bit of a show, we'd switch instruments halfway through. It was funny and though he would always glare at us, he never complained. But I digress.

My point is when our brother came along, little preemie that he was, mom had to stay with him all the time and keep taking him to the doctors. Our Christmas concert. The BIGGEST concert of the YEAR came around. We had specially reserved seats for mama in the front row since we were playing on her birthday. We were all excited because we each played in the percussion solo halfway through the song. We'd practiced and practices. And when the concert finally came...she never appeared. She had gone to the hospital with our brother who had started throwing up. The word devastated do not even begin to express our feelings. We were in f*ing tears!

So this chapter is basically what happened to us happening to Xiana...actually a lot of what happens to her right now happened to us...it helps to have first hand experiance.

Kenshin: So now that we've had a trip down memory lane, R&R!


	70. Shut Up

Yami: Ta-da! And we've reaching a pentical! This chapter leads to next chapter which will be the start of a three chapter life changing event for Xiana. I know a lot of you are going to kill me when all of it is over, but on the plus side...yeeeaah...I'm gonna just go hide now.

Kenshing: Yamo-dono... um...okay...don't own, don't sue...

* * *

**Shut Up**

Cough. Cough.

"Shut up."

Cry. Cough.

"Shut up!"

Choke. Cough. Cry.

"GOD SHUT THE F* UP!"

Pause. Cry louder. Cough harder.

"SHUT UP! PLEASE!"

Choke. Cry even harder. Cough deeper.

Squalo beat his fist against the floor of the nursery, tears pricking at his eyes. He hadn't slept in days! Everyone had left on missions, and he was still on maternity leave. He wasn't allowed to do anything but take care of a baby that would. Stop. CRYING! Or coughing! Or vomiting! Or being sick! Xiana had ditched the Varia wing to hide with the brats in the quieter section of the castle like mansion. Rosalina was on sick leave, and Squalo didn't even know where Anita was. Probably acting as Xiana's nanny with Rosalina gone.

Xiale wasn't even old enough to sit up alone and he was sick! Sick! Sick! SICK! Always sick! Just little things but it was ridiculous!

"Please stop crying!" Squalo begged. Xiale cried louder. "STOP IT! I CAN'T F*ING THINK!" Where was Xanxus? Where was Lussuria? Hell, he'd take Bel right now! He just needed someone to watch the brat for a minute, to shut him up for a few hours while he slept. He hadn't even gotten to close his eyes in four days!

A deep chest, wet sounding cough echoed from the little baby in the crib. Little limbs flailed, kicking off blankets. Tiny hands pulled at too hot clothes and sweat hair that clung to his scalp.

"Please…please…please…" The swordsman couldn't even get up anymore. He couldn't lift himself off the floor of the nursery and shut the baby up. Tired. So tired…

Xiale gave a particularly loud wail and his foot hit a crib bar, making it rattle.

"F*! I CAN'T F*ING TAKE THIS! F*! F*! F*!" Pushing himself up, he hit the crib, glaring at the infant inside. "WHY WON'T YOU STOP CRYING!? I GAVE YOU MEDICINE! F*! F*…" With a shuddering breath that made his body shake, he fell back to the floor sobbing.

He might have lain there for hours, crying loud enough to rival the baby next to him. They were certainly crying long enough to draw attention to the room. A passing maid looked in on them and left without being noticed by either of the occupants. Not long after that, Anita appeared.

"What's this?" demanded the old woman. "Why are you crying? Get up! You're a mother now; you can't just let him lie there crying."

Squalo cried harder.

Xiale was screaming now, thrashing around in his crib.

"What's going on here?"

Anita turned to find Xanxus and the rest of the Varia standing in the doorway. All of them were staring at the scene with shock written on their face.

"I don't know, a maid just came and got me. I was with Xiana until she did."

"Go back to her," Xanxus ordered and strolled over to his wife. "Squalo…Squalo! Hey, f*ing shark, what's wrong?"

"H-h-he wa-wa-wont st-st-stop ca-ca-cryi-i-ing!" Squalo sobbed grabbing onto Xanxus. "Ma-ma-make him st-st-stop!"

"Lussuria, get him and bring him to the mist brat."

"Yes sir." Lussuria reached into the crib and carefully pulled the screaming infant out. Only when he was out of earshot did Squalo start to calm down. A single glare from Xanxus sent the rest of the Varia scrambling out of the way as he walked by with the mentally exhausted shark in his arms. Squalo kept muttering words under his breath. Most were jumbled, but words like "stop" "cry" and "shut up" were distinguishable.

Xanxus carefully placed Squalo on the bed and pulled the covers down. "If you were having so much trouble you should have asked for help shit head," he told his wife as he pulled Squalo's shirt off.

"I d-d-did…Xi-xi-Xiana was fu-fussing ag-gain…an-and no wa-wa-one e-else ha-ha-had t-t-time."

With a grunt, Xanxus pulled the blanket over Squalo's shivering frame. "Get some sleep. You're worthless like you are now."

He didn't need telling twice. Squalo was asleep before Xanxus shut the door as he left.

Now that Squalo was taken care of it was time to deal with his offspring. Xanxus stalked to the brat's living area, where he could hear Xiale crying and Xiana yelling.

"I left so I wouldn't have to hear him! Send him away! SEND HIM AW-" Her screams were halted as Xanxus grabbed her, threw her over his knee and gave her five hard strikes upon her butt. With each hit she yelled out in pain until finally she was dropped onto the floor.

"I asked you to watch your mother!"

Xiana snarled. "I DIDN'T WANT TO BE NEAR THAT STUPID BRAT! CRY! CRY! CRY! THAT'S ALL HE DID!"

"AND YOUR MOTHER HAD TO LISTEN TO THAT FOR FOUR DAYS! WHERE THE F* WERE YOU!?"

She clamped her mouth shut and looked away.

"Next time I tell you to do something, you do it," he hissed dangerously. "Or you'll regret it." Turning to Chrome, he gently took the wailing infant from her arms. He had grown marginally quieter in the short time he had been with the girl, and Xanxus was grateful for it. He left, leaving the brats to deal with his daughter.

Walking through the brightly lit hallways, Xanxus gently bounced the baby as he had often seen Squalo do. It had always calmed Xiana down, and later made her laugh. Reaching the end of one hallway, he slipped outside and into the courtyard. There was a very gentle drizzle falling from the sky. It was cool, and the gentle sound of water rushing in the fountain was very calming. Within moments, Xiale had stopped crying. He giggled as he tried to catch the tiny rain drops.

"Why is it," he asked, "That you are always causing your mother trouble?"

Xiale babbled and cooed innocently.

"Yeah, don't give me that." Ducking under a tree, he sat on the bench and held the baby up. Xiale oh-ed and aw-ed, and reached for the leaves of the trees, his eyes wide with wonder and excitement. For now, at least for a little bit, he felt fine.

.

.

.

Squalo woke slowly when one side of the bed sunk. Turning, he looked sleepily at Xanxus. Xiale lay in his arms, sucking on his pacifier and playing with a rose plucked form a bush. Upon seeing his mother awake, Xiale cooed and offered him the petals. Squalo smiled.

"He just needed to get outside," Xanxus told him, placing the infant in Squalo's waiting arms. "He's fine. At least for now."

"Thank you." Sighing, he leaned against Xanxus, pulled Xiale's pacifier out, and let him nurse, which he did quite happily. "Where's Xiana?"

"Dealing with her sore ass I hope."

"…you didn't."

"I did, she's acting like a brat."

"You don't _hit_ a child!"

"No, I didn't hit a child. I spanked a brat. I'll spank you later if you keep arguing."

"Not a very convincing argument, I might like that."

"Masochist."

"Maybe."

"Well you have been a bad boy not asking for help."

"I f*ing swear, if you try anything right now, you'll never get sex again! I'm breastfeeding here."

"You have two and you couldn't last without me."

"It's call a vibrator."

"Kinky."

"Indeed."

Ten minutes later, Xiale finally finished his meal. Burped, full, and sleepy, he popped his pacifier back into his mouth and fell asleep.

Over with the brats, a little storm raged.

* * *

Yami: DO NOT EVER HIT A CHILD! Physical punishment causes rifts in the family, trobule accepting love, and gives a child the inpression that hitting and violence is okay. This is a one time thing for Xanxus. He was angry, he was upset, and he'll never do it again.

Kenshin: Also, never shake a baby.

Yami: 5 seconds is enough to kill a baby when shook, though some last 8 seconds.

Kenshin: And never leave a child along without something to do.

Yami: Like a puppy, they'll cause themself a mischif.

Kenshin: Be very firm with your order.

Yami: Don't baby talk the little bastards. Speak in a real voice, otherwise they'll learn to speak wrong.

Kenshin: Teach them multiple languages early on.

Yami: And don'tgive them a lot of sugar. Putting a strict limit helps reduce ADHD or ADD.

Kenshin: And finally...

Yami: R&R


	71. Kidnap

Yami: Turning point! Turning point!

Kenshin: The rising action is at hand! The climax shall happen!

Yami: And don't you all DARE take that perversly.

Kenshin: Don't own.

Yami: Don't sue. Now on with the show!

* * *

**Kidnap**

When Squalo was young, he had never thought he'd become a parent. Even less that he would be the one to bare the children. Then Xiana came along. He spent the first year of her life freaking out at every little thing. When she bumped her head on a table and got a bruise. When she got an ear infection. It nearly killed him when she cried and he had no idea how to stop her. But he had gotten through with help from the Family, and Xanxus, who was just as nervous. Xiana grew out of babyhood, past the god awful toddler stage, and finally into childhood. She grew beautiful little girl, with the natural talent of an assassin.

He had thought that was the end of it. Then Xiale came and things got better and worse at the same time. Xiale was a quiet treasure. He the opposite of his sister in almost every way. Quiet, gentle, a sleepy little child. He didn't jump into walking, but he unlike Xiana, he loved books. He looked at them even though he had no idea what the f* the words meant. Xiana was a loud, active child, with a natural sense of balance and wonderful aim. Xiale wasn't, but whatever he did was very precise.

He had never thought that any of this would cause problems. He had loved his baby sister and been traumatized when she was killed. Maria's children adored each other, even with the new born in the house. Isaac was his usual quiet self, silently watching over his two sisters. Ariel was as polite as ever, happily playing with her new sister.

Xiana hated Xiale. She yelled at him whenever he even touched her things. She glared at him whenever she saw him, and refused point blank to help with him at all. Christmas came and went. Xiana remained without furniture in her room, and her attitude was getting worse. Madam Maputo called at least twice a week with complaints about Xiana's rude attitude towards the other girls. Madam Swann called to ask if something at home was upsetting her "star skater". And when January came, her horse ride teacher, Max, called to say she had upset another child.

The poor mother had no idea what to do! Whenever he tried talking to Xiana she shut herself up in her room or wouldn't talk back. She yelled at Xanxus, threw fireballs at Levi, kicked Bel, pulled Lussuria's hair, and stole Mammon's expense book. Yamamoto's swords went missing too often, as did Gokudera's dynamite, Tsuna's gloves, Ryohei's wrapping tapes, Chrome's extra eye patches, Hibari iPod, Lambo's horns, and even Mukuro's trident. She was turning into the brattiest child to ever enter the mansion! And that was comparing her to Xanxus!

Things finally got to be too much when she broke her grandfather's desk –and no one could figure out how she had done it!- Squalo snapped.

"VOOOII! What the f* is wrong with you!?" he demanded, shaking his first born child. "I am so f*ing tired of you and your attitude!" he roared, ignoring the stunned group crowding the ninth's office. "If you have a f*ing problem with your brother, tell me and we'll deal with it but STOP TAKING IT OUT ON EVERYONE!" Xiana glared and stuck her tongue out. Squalo pulled his real hand back and slapped her. Hard.

For a moment, the room was silent. Then Xiana pulled out of her mother's grip and raced from the room, sobbing.

"F*," groaned Squalo. He stood and kicked over a chair. "I CAN'T F*ING DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE!" He stormed from the room.

Everybody looked over at Xanxus, who's eyes were wide, still staring at the spot where his wife and daughter had been.

Xiana pushed the door to her room open and slammed it shut, knocking one part of the frame off. She could hear Xiale crying in the next room. "SHUT UP!" she screamed at the wall. "SHUT UP YOU STUPID F*ING BRAT! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN!" He stared to cry louder. She kicked the wall before falling onto her futon and hiding her head under her pillow.

The house had fallen horribly quiet by the time night fell. Squalo had holed himself up in the dojo and wouldn't come out. Xiale was crying. Xiana had locked and barred her door. Poor Xanxus didn't know who to deal with first. No one complained when the ninth decided to go to bed early, most did too. Today was not a good day.

Xiana woke late that night. For several long minutes, she lay there, not sure why she had woken up. Then there was a sound in the next room. Xiale's room. The baby was whimpering softly, and there were hushed voices. She got up, unbarred her door, and walked into the hallway. Whenever her parents got Xiale, they left their's and his door open. Both doors were closed. She returned to her room, grabbed a knife from under her pillow, and slowly crept towards her brother's door.

She paused as she reached the door. Why was she doing this? If something was wrong with the f*ing brat, let it happen. If he was dying so what? He took all the attention nowadays. He was all about him and never about her. And not only that, he was annoying. She'd get her old room back, and everyone would return to paying attention to _her_ if he was gone…but…

_Mamma will be sad, _a voice in her head commented. _Very sad._

He'll get over it, another voice growled. Stupid brat isn't worth anything! He doesn't even _do_ anything!

_He's little. He'll grow and then you can teach him things, and he can comment all the time on how wonderful you are at skating._

We don't _need_ him, he's here to fill up space.

_You liked him when he was born. What changed? It's not his fault he gets sick a lot. It hurts him more than you because he is the one who has to suffer._

'Have you two ever considered shutting the f* up?'

_Just trying to help you make the right decision._

Which is go back to bed and pretend you didn't hear anything.

Something moved within the room and Xiale gave a particularly loud sob.

_Help him! Then at least you'll get attention for saving him!_

Well you do have a point there…

Shaking her head to rid herself of the shoulder angel and devil, Xiana made up her mind.

Carefully, and grateful for her parent's for keeping the door hinges well oiled, she pushed the door open. Inside were three people, all wearing black clothes. One was holding Xiale. None were familiar. Silently, she rushed into the room and stabbed one of the men in the back. He let out a horrible yell that was cut short by Xiana jerking the knife out and shoving it against the man's throat. "Let my brother go," she hissed. "Now, or I'll yell."

The two remaining men just laughed. The man she was currently hanging onto jerked and grabbed for her. She clung on for dear life. "Stop that and come on," one of the man's companions hissed. "We need to go! Take the brat."

She felt a pair of hands grab her and without thinking sliced her knife across the man's neck. He froze, odd gurgling noises issuing from his throat. Blood sprayed from the wound. As he fell, Xiana leapt off him and at the second man. He caught her effortlessly and squeezed her wrist till her released the knife. She tried to scream but he covered her mouth. "Give her a shot," he told his companion. Something pricked her neck. Barely two seconds later, all the strength drained from her body. "Let's go." The two left the third man lying on the floor and left through the open window and into the night.

-In the dojo-

Squalo stopped his constant swinging and looked around. "Something is not right." People talk about a mother's instinct. Squalo had never believed in it till Xiana entered his life. Now he relied on it more than his gut. And his instinct was telling him something was wrong with his children. Leaving his sword attached to his arm, he raced out of the dojo and towards his children's room.

The first room he came to was Xiale's. He looked. Had he been a full blooded woman, he would have screamed. Instead, he roared with rage and ran to the crib. No baby. He ran to Xiana's room. The door was open. Empty.

"What's wrong?" a tired Lussuria asked, poking his head out from his room.

"THEY'RE GONE!" he yelled at Lussuria. "MY CHILDREN ARE GONE!"

This roused the whole house. The ninth and tenth Vongola came speeding onto the scene with their respective people. Reborn kicked the dead body over and looked at the sliced throat. "From the Avila Family," he said after spotting the chest on the man's cuff link. "Killed with a knife." He spotted the knife lying a few feet away. "I'd say Xiana heard him and his companions, two at least, entering and came to stop them. She at least got one."

"They couldn't have gotten far," Tsuna said, looking down at the blood. "It's very fresh, only a few minutes old."

"Send out the alarm!" Timoteo shouted. "Iemitsu! Lead a search party! I want every inch of the grounds searched, I want the roads blocked and I want my grandchildren back!"

* * *

Yami: Ta-da. Shoulder angel/devils I fun. I have two that look like skull dice and graceful dice from Duel monsters!...at least half the time, the other half they tend to look vaguely like me which is weird.

Kenshin: I know a good pyciatrist, do you want to go see them?

Yami: Nope, I enjoy my insanity. NOW! For all of you who were pissed at Xiana, prepare to love her!...and kill me...

Kenshin: Are you going to hide Yami-dono.

Yami: No, I am making a strategist retreat!

Kenshin: -.-' suuuure. R&R


	72. Crash

Hikari: O.O umm...Yami isn't here.

Toitsu: Yes she is. She's hiding in the closet.

Hikari: No, that was before you went to the bathroom, she ran to hide under mama's bed.

Toitsu: Oh...well...she wants us to tell you something...

Hikari: But we forgot what it was. So don't own, don't sue. And enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Crash**

They were running. For how long, she didn't know. Mammon had always told her that drugs make you feel sleepy and stupid. The best thing to do is count to yourself or state off facts to get your mind working again. She had counted, but then lost count at a hundred. She always did. So she started over again, and lost count again. By the time she had done this a fourth time, her captors had piled into a car and there were driving away from the mansion.

Think, she told herself, trying to calm her frantically beating heart. Think. Gravel road. The drive way. One road to the village a mile from the entrance. Two roads another quarter of a mile, leading to a country road and another one to town.

The car swerved to the left.

Country road then. Two Families near us. Both strong allies. Ten miles ahead, rocky outcrop that over looks the sea.

"Ana," a little voice whimpered. Xiale. He sounded scared. "Ana! Ana! ANA!"

"Shut him up!"

"I can't."

"He's giving me a headache."

"ANA!"

Scowling to herself, she tried to move her fingers and found after a bit of effort she could. Her arms required more coaxing.

"She's waking up already."

"Did you use all of the drug?"

"No! That would kill her. We need them alive!"

"She won't be able to move for an hour at least, don't worry."

No sooner had he said then, then a sharp elbow struck his diaphragm. Gasping, the man dropped Xiana. Sluggishly, she rolled to her feet and kicked out, striking him across the forehead with her foot. The man screamed and fell back, howling. The edge of a knife glinted from the man's boot. She grabbed it and stabbed wildly. The interior of the car was nearly pitch black with the tinted windows and only the dashboard lights for lamination. She missed her target –his heart –but managed to stab his collar bone instead. She felt the bone break.

"Gif bawk meh bwower!" she slurred, turning her knife on the man holding Xiale. The air whistled and she barely moved back in time to avoid getting kicked in the face. Lashing out, she caught him in the leg. He snarled and kicked out again, this time grazing her forehead above her left eyebrow. A cut opened up and sent blood oozing out. "Gif 'im bawk!" She lunged forward. The man's foot hit the knife in her head. It flew back. There was a sick noise, like a knife embedding in flesh. The car began to serve.

"F*!" Dropping Xiale, the man dived forward, grabbing hold of the steering wheel.

Xiana grabbed her brother and hugged him tight as the car rocked back and forth, sending the pair tumbling to and fro. Reaching desperately for the door handle, she barely grasped it.

A loud bang sounded. Xiana screamed.

All too suddenly there was a horrible crunching sound. The door burst open and Xiana and Xiale tumbled out. A few seconds later something exploded and Xiana passed out.

-With Squalo and Xanxus-

Being the smart man that he was, Timoteo had his Family everywhere. In the police station, in the local grocery store, in the hospital, and in government offices. One such person called in. The sound of sirens was loud, but he got the message loud and clear. "We've got two children here at the scene of an accident. They're hurt bad but alive. Pretty sure they're Master Xanxus's kids."

"Where are you taking them?" he inquired.

The EMT listed off a hospital name before canceling the transmission.

"We've got them!" Timoteo called to Xanxus, who was busy trying to console a miserable Squalo. Wasting not a moment, they rushed from the mansion and arrived at the previously stated hospital just as the ambulance arrived.

"XIANA!" Squalo cried when he saw his daughter lying on her stomach on a stretcher. Another stretcher hurried past, carrying a little body on it. "XIALE!" He tried to follow the pair into the surgery room. A nurse stopped him.

"You can't go in ma'am," she yelled over Squalo's shouts. "The doctors and nurses will take good care of them. Please sir!" she called to Xanxus. "Stop her!"

Xanxus wrapped his arms around Squalo, bodily holding him back. "LET ME GO!" Squalo yelled, trying to free himself. "LET ME GO XANXUS!"

"Ma'am please, your children will be fine," the nurse said gently.

"F* THAT! LET ME GO! XIANA!" The doors to the surgery room shut with a snap. "XIALE!" He stared at the door, a look of despair overcoming his face. With a loud cry, his knees gave out. Xanxus held his wife tight as he began to sob.

It was early the next morning before they were allowed to see the kids. The doctor in charge, Mr. Freese, assured a distraught Squalo they would be fine. "We've done all we can. It will take time for your daughter to heal, but your son can go home in two weeks tops." He held open the door, letting the parents inside.

There were two beds –technically one bed and one crib –in the small room. The crib held Xiale. He looked so small in the overly large hospital crib, pristine white sheets protecting his body from the cold air. What looks like a full mile of white bandages was wrapped around his head and completely covered his left eye.

In the next bed, still lying on her stomach, was Xiana. They'd let the blankets pool around her waist, leaving red tinted bandages in full view. They covered her entire back, neck, and down to her elbows. Her face was turned to the side and her mouth was turned down in a grimace of pain.

"What happened to them?" Xanxus asked while Squalo hurried forward and checked on them.

"Car crash," the doctor said. "Car they were in ran into a cliff wall. They were luckier than the other passengers. Fell out right before the explosion. But some scrap metal and the heat and fire did a number on them." He pointed at Xiana. "She was clutching your little boy, shielding him from most of the blast, but a piece of scrap did a number on his eye."

"Can you do anything for it?"

"No. He'll never see out of it again. More than likely, it will scar over and never open again either."

"What about her back?"

"Sir," the doctor sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Children naturally heal faster. Because they do, they scar very easily. If you planned on having her be the beauty of the ball, that wish is gone. Her whole back, her neck, her shoulders, down to her elbows, everything will scar over. But she'll be alive. And aside from the external damage, she was also shot. Went strait through the left shoulder. That'll leave even more scars."

"She doesn't need to be pretty," murmured Squalo, gently combing his fingers through the tangled black hair of his daughter. "She's fine."

The doctor nodded and started to tell Xanxus about the finer details. He had just reached how much drugs they were pumping the children full of when a weak whimper sounded from the bed. "Mamma." A little sob.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay."

Xiana hiccupped and grabbed Squalo's hand. "Ma-hic-mma."

Squalo gently pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We're here."

"X-X-Xiale?"

"He's fine. You did good."

"Well done," Xanxus said softly, ruffling Xiana's hair.

"Th-they tr-tri-ied to t-t-take him," she sobbed. "I tr-tri-ed ta st-st-op 'im."

"You did. They can't hurt you or Xiale anymore."

"M-my b-ba-ck hu-rts."

Squalo looked up at the doctor, who was already pulling out a needle. He slipped it into her arm and pressed the syringe. A few moments later, her eyes were closing. "Go to sleep. You'll feel fine in the morning."

Dr. Freese waiting for her to fall asleep before speaking. "I'd like permission to put your daughter in a coma." Squalo let out a snarl and Xanxus glared. Dr. Freese put his hands up, "Not permanently. But sir, ma'am, she's in a lot of pain." They looked down at Xiana. Even asleep, her face was twisted in pain. "In a coma, her body won't feel the pain as her body heals. She'll be out for two weeks, three at most, but unless you want me to pump her full of drugs that she can get addicted to, I suggest you let me put her in a coma."

Xanxus and Squalo looked at each other. "Fine," they said. "But if you screw up. They'll never find your body."

* * *

Hikari: Oh, so this is why she's hiding.

Toitsu: How cruel of her. Scarring children.

Hikari: I think this was planned....

Toitsu: Of course it was Hikari, now lets sit back and watch the furious reviews come in.

Hikari: LOL Yami is trouble!

Toitsu: R&R


	73. Hospital

Yami:3_3 can't see, excuse the bad typing if my experienced fingers fail for a few minutes. Since we were young our eyesight has been bad, I've got such a scatter brain that the doctor described my need for both glasses and the ever favorable adderall in this way. "Your left eye is busy playing video games while your right eye is trying to work _and_ get your left eye to concentrate." F*ing doctor treating me like a kid...anyways, stopped taking the pills over a year ago -got tired of them -and now I am reaping the rewards. I. CAN'T. F*ING. SEE! Can't stay on the computer too long without my eyes dying on me, so...yeah...hopefully will get new glasses soon, until then, don't snap at me if I happen to miss a day of updating. Looking at the computer screen f*ing hurts!

Kenshin: I thought you were hiding.

Yami: I am...they don't know where I live, and any pitchforks that come flying at me -cough Mrya-chan cough- will be reflected by a forcefield via Dark Mousy, that sexy beast XD

Kenshin: ooookay...

Hikari: Sissy, you didn't make a mistake on your typing...just so you know.

Yami: I know, I am so f*ing good -had Toitsu type all of this-

Kenshin: -_-' don't own, don't sue, and please don't kill Yami-dono.

* * *

**Hospital**

The next month was torture for Squalo. He refused to take any missions, no matter how important. He stayed at the hospital 24/7. Xiale woke up several hours after Xiana was put to sleep, crying softly, and babbling, "Ana! Ana!" He kept trying to pull off the bandages and rubbed at them incessantly. Everyday Dr. Freese came in to change the bandages. When the doctor pulled the bandages off after two weeks, the skin under it was mostly healed. The eyelid was sealed shut, not even twitching when the doctor gently touched the thin flap of skin. Ragged scars ran all along the lid, some reaching his eyebrow, one hitting the bottom of his cheek bone. They rewrapped the wound so he didn't scrap off the still healing scabs.

He whined from his mother's lap, and batted at the doctor's hands.

The Avila Family was on the hit list of every Mafia Family. Attacking each other was okay, but when you attack a defenseless baby and a child that crossed the lines. The remnants of them were being killed off every day.

Tsuna had brought up Kyoko during the month. Usually she stayed in Japan, but with their coming wedding, it was time for her to move to Italy. Hana was coming too; her wedding to Ryohei was in a few months.

The first time Dr. Freese removed Xiana's bandages, Tsuna was there talking to Xanxus about something. He gagged at the smell and had to leave the room. Burnt flesh and puffs was never a pleasant smell. Her back was a mess of blacken skin, scabs, and yellow puffs that were slowly leaking. With the help of a nurse, they got her bathed and dried. Many scabs had cracked open and oozed out as they washed. The bandages went back on, tainted reddish brown a few minutes later. Squalo felt like crying.

The next time they washed her, the blackened skin had shrunk, leaving twisted jagged skin in its wake. The large scabs had begun to drop off, horrible scars telling their tales. Only a little blood trickled out when they washed her and none penetrate the three layers of bandages.

The third time all the blackened skin was gone, and most of the scabbing had fallen away. Her back was a mess. Twisted horrible looking scars that ran up her neck to her hairline, and a few branches that reached around her neck, the scars also trailed along the back of her shoulders and down the backs of her arms to the elbow with branches reaching forward.

"She's the one that will suffer most in the end," Lussuria sighed as he looked down at the Varia princess. "A woman is meant to have beautiful flawless skin. She would have been a warrior goddess if not for those scars. And figure skating outfits are so…" He stopped when he caught sight of the glare on Squalo's face.

"A princess is a princess," Bel asserted.

"It'll be expensive if she wants to get them fixed," murmured Mammon.

Squalo snapped. "She got these protecting her f*ing brother! These are scars to be proud of! More than most of your can say!" He ignored them for the rest of their visit.

She got one more wash before they woke her up. Almost all of her back was healed now. A few more scabs, but after they washed her, they decided she could be placed on her back. They laid her back in the bed, and replaced the IV drip with another to clean her system. "She'll wake in a few minutes," Dr. Freese said. "Now, before she does. She'll be feeling pain in her back for some time. Those were second and third degree burns and bad cuts on her back. She's lucky to not be paralyzed or have nerve damage. Anything but the gentlest touches will bother her, and more than a soft push will hurt. Make sure everyone knows that. Also, keep her in a wheelchair for a week or two. The drugs will remain in her system for awhile, so she'll be prone to falling asleep at anytime. And…"

"Papà…" They all turned around and stared at Xiana. Her hazy half closed eyes were fixed on Xanxus, the only person in her range of vision. "Papà, 'm thirsty."

Squalo let out a weak laugh, and wrapped his arms around Xiana.

"Mamma, I wanna drink."

"Okay."

Xiana left the hospital the next day. She was greeted at the mansion by a storm of happy Family. "Where's Xiale?" she asked looking around. When Xanxus had arrived with the limo, Xiale wasn't with him.

"Ana!" Xiana blinked and looked around. Timoteo stood by his heir, holding a cooing baby. "Ana! Ana!"

Timoteo offered him to her, and she took her little brother. Xiale cooed and babbled happily, placing a kiss on her cheek. Xiana grinned and kissing his left cheek. "You look okay. That scar will be f*ing badass when you're older."

"Watch your f*ing language," Xanxus and Squalo sighed.

* * *

Yami: Because men with scars and goatees are f*ing hawt.

Kenshin: O.o does that include this one?

Yami: No, you're adorable.

Kenshin: ^o^

Yami: LOL, okay R&R...and no killing me, remember!


	74. Fear

Yami: -.- don't kill me. Please. I was away all day ;-;

Kenshin: Yes, please don't kill Yami-dono, she likes living.

Yami: So without furture ado, the next chapter.

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Fear**

All around her, people were excitedly getting ready for the weddings. Tsuna and Kyoko's wedding was in two weeks. They would have the wedding at the ancient chapel in town. People were coming from all over the world to see the wedding of the Vongola Decimo. She grinned as people waved to her. A few looked nervously at her side where Loki trotted along like a little helper dog. He wasn't really small anymore. He could carry Xiale on his back, but he was far from being big.

"Mistress Xiana," Rosalina called. Xiana stopped and wheeled herself around so she faced her nanny. "It's time for your medicine, and your mother wants you to take a nap."

"Yes Rosalina," sighed Xiana. She started to push herself towards her bedroom, only to have Rosalina take the wheelchair handles.

"Oh no, last time you went to the game room," she said in a scolding tone. "You'll take your medicine and have a nap."

Grumbling rude words under her breath, Xiana let the maid/nanny push her to her room. She got herself into her bed and waited for Rosalina to return with the medicine. Loki leapt onto the bed and curled up next to his mistress, purring. She scratched behind his ear. Rosalina returned with the medicine, which Xiana took grudgingly. Once the maid had left, Xiana slid off her bed and into the wheelchair.

"Come Loki," she ordered. "I need to see something." Loki stretched and jumped down. Together the two of them quietly snuck out of the room and down the hall. Abruptly, Xiana stopped in front of Xiale's door. She stared at it, eyes narrowed. Loki growled softly, and nudged her leg.

"Ushishishi, what's this?"

Xiana shrieked and Loki jumped two feet in the air. They both whipped around to see Bel standing there, grinning. "Uncle Bel!"

"Ushishishi, why is the princess not sleeping? Does she need a kiss goodnight from her princely uncle?"

The princess stuck out her tongue and shook her head. "I'm not a baby!" She fell silent and returned to staring at the door. "Is Xiale in there?"

"No, he's with Boss, why?"

"Open the door please."

Shrugging, Bel opened the door and watched Xiana and she wheeled herself in. She stopped about two feet in and sat staring at the rug. Squalo wanted the carpet changed before the wedding, but there wasn't much chance of that. So the large blood stain remained. Her eyes were fixed upon that spot. Slowly, she approached it, and rolled over the stain. It let out a wet, squelching sound. She quickly rolled away from it and continued to stare.

"Uncle Bel?"

"Yes princess?"

"It's…it's okay that I killed that man right?"

"Do you regret it?"

"No. He tried to take Xiale and tried to hurt me. I hate him! I hate him and his friends! If I could, I would kill them all! But…"

"But it hurts?"

With a poorly stifled sob, Xiana shook her head. "It scares me! I…I keep having nightmares! Every night, I see that man again, and he keeps making that gurgling sound! And then he falls, but when I look it isn't him! It's Xiale! Or mamma, or papa! Or someone else I love! And the men are standing there, smirking! One says, "Since you killed my friend, I'll take someone you love!" or "Oops, looks like you killed the wrong one." And they laugh!" She drew in a shuddering breath. Loki growled softly and put his head on her lap. "W-will it a-always be l-like this?"

Bel considered the girl for a moment before saying calmly, "The pain dulls after awhile. You'll kill a lot in the future. The best thing to do is to remember _why_ you kill. When you're an assassin of the Varia, you kill for your Family. Someone steals information, and goes to sell it; you kill them to protect the Family. Always remember the _why_, and remember how many."

"How many have you killed?"

"Two hundred and thirty six. My first kill was selfish compared to yours."

"Who did you kill?"

"My twin brother."

She stared at him.

"Your mother killed his father when he was your age, after the bastard killed your grandmother and aunt. Protection, revenge, hate, whatever your reason for killing, remember how many, and their face. You'll face them one day, be it on your way to heaven or to hell."

Xiana blinked, before bursting into tears. Bel scooped her from the wheelchair and held her as she cried. Twenty minutes later, she was fast asleep. He put her to bed, and went to suggest to Squalo that he talk to his daughter about death and killing.

* * *

Yami: There, for everyone who complained Bel needs more stage time. OH! And if you haven't noticed, the YamaGoku side story **Family Explosion**, is up.

Kenshin: R&R.


	75. Slap

Yami: ^^ I got more response from **Family Explosion** than I expected. Now I'm f*ing happy!

Kenshin: ^-^ yes Yami-dono, you do seem happy.

Yami: So everyone, we've got a strange little chapter up here. Short but sweet.

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Slap**

A wedding is a big deal. And big deals in the Vongola Family means a lot of time and effort put into it and a few minor breakdowns. Rosalina had one when Xiana vanished for several hours. Squalo had one when Xiana, Xiale, Xanxus, and a wedding planner kept demanding his attention all at once. Tsuna had a nervous breakdown and had to be revived with a several gulps of sake. Ryohei was agitated. Their father and mother, who had arrived the other day were mixed. Their mother was all atwitter that her daughter was marrying a rich young man. Their dad was suspicious. He liked Tsuna well enough, but all these people that kept appearing with scars was unusual enough for him to notice things.

But that's all there and elsewhere, right now, Squalo was happily greeting Maria, who had brought over her children. It was their first time visiting Xiana since she had left the hospital. They visited enough when she was unconscious, and Ariel had left in tears each time. Now, the little girl was itching to see her best friend.

"Finally," groaned Squalo, upon seeing them being escorted by a butler. "She won't shut up about being bored and there's nothing I can do! She's in her room." Deciding that he could do without finishing the paperwork for now, Squalo got up and led them towards the room. Xiana had been bored since returning home. Playing with a baby who often needed to sleep could only be so fun. Xiale was smart, and it was a treasure to see them playing together instead of fighting, but whenever Xiana wanted to do something else, Xiale was often too into what they were doing, and would cry when she tried to quit. At one point, she'd gone down to the shooting gallery with him and she and Xanxus had shot a few rounds. Xiale burst into tears upon the first shot, and had to be taken away to be calmed.

And it wasn't just hearing the guns that sent the baby into a fit. It was seeing them, or hearing the safety being removed; even just spotting a bullet casing lying around made him cry. "He did see his sister being shot," Yamamoto said, when Squalo mentioned it one day. "He's probably scared of them now."

Which is not what Squalo wanted to hear, but what could he do?

Squalo knocked on the door and called, "Xiana, your friends are here," before pushing open the door. Xiana was sitting at her desk in front of the computer. Upon spotting Ariel and Isaac, she wheeled herself around the face them. Loki purred from her side.

"Hi!"

Ariel crossed the room first. Squalo expected her to throw herself at her best friend and start crying. Ariel seemed to type to do that. So you can imagine his shock when the little girl pulled back her hand and slapped Xiana as hard as she could. The Varia princess tumbled out of her wheelchair and onto the floor.

"Ariel!"

"Sis…"

"What the f*!?"

Xiana gently put a hand to her throbbing cheek and looked up at Ariel. There were tears in her friend's eyes. "You…YOU IDIOT!" she screeched making Loki jump. "HOW COULD YOU GET HURT SO BAD!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" With a loud sob, she knelt next to Xiana and hugged her. "Don't do it again. Don't ever scare me like that again. Madam Maputo, and Madam Swann are furious and _I_ had to tell them what happened!"

"Sorry," Xiana whispered, still rubbing her cheek. "I promise I won't let myself fall from a moving car again." She smirked.

Squalo sighed and traded a look with Maria, who smiled slightly.

Isaac hurried over and put Xiana back in her wheelchair. Deciding everything would be okay, Squalo went and got Xiale and he, Maria, and little Adina went into the sitting room. Once placed on the floor, Xiale and Adina started playing, speaking in coos and babbles.

It was nice to have things so peaceful even amidst the chaos of wedding preparations. Squalo watched the children with interest as they played. Maria and pulled out a book and began to read it.

* * *

Yami: And there we go, cute chapter. Ariel was really upset, Xiana is like a sister to her.

Kenshin: -is watching -Man- Yami-dono, can we watch Prince of Tennis instead, this one knows those voices.

Yami: STFU, I like -Man...but I think the Japanese are better.

Kenshin: They always are.

Yami: OMG! Did you see Reborn last night. F*! That was weird! Who the f* are the new kids, and what the f* is with the fighting!? Is that how all the seals will be undone?

Kenshin: Probably not, Skull-kun doesn't look like someone how can actually fight.

Yami: Ouch, hit, line, and shinker. XD

Kenshin: True...oh well R&R


	76. School

Yami: ARG! And I was sure I had done everything right! ;-; F*!!!

Kenshin: Yami-dono messed up on her timing, so she is updating twice today...for the sake of all of you...and because she needs the chapters to come out at the same time.

Yami: YES! Because I PLANNED it to be so. Shit...

Kenshin: Don't wory Yami-dono. I think they'll like this chapter.

Yami: XP

Kensin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**School**

"F-f-f* this," Xiana whimpered as she clutched her mother's hand. "I don't need to do this!"

"Everyone your age does," Squalo snapped, getting annoyed.

"I'm smarter than all those trash in there! I can balance a check book, and tell when someone is stealing money from me, and check my accounts! That's all I need!"

"You need to read, to write, and you need to learn to deal with other children."

"VAAAI! F* THAT!"

"Watch your language, you can't cuss here!"

"I don't wanna go!" Xiana wailed. She buried her face in Squalo's pant leg and cried.

Bending down, Squalo hugged his daughter, murmuring comforting phrases. A few minutes later, she stopped crying. Once her sniffles had died down, Squalo forced her to look at him. "Isaac started last year and he said he had fun, remember? And you'll have Ariel with you, and you'll meet new friends. Besides, it's only half a day!"

"Papà!" she sobbed, looking up at Xanxus. "Papà I don't wanna go to school!"

"You either start now with Ariel, or later without her. Your choice," he said.

Xiana's cheeks puffed out and she glared up at her parents. When that and crying didn't work, she let out a long list of cuss words that made a passing mother gasp and Squalo snap at her to be quiet.

"It's three hours," Squalo said, straitening Xiana's shirt. "If we bring Loki with us when we pick you up will that make things better?"

"I want to bring Loki with me now!" After a rather horrible incident where several people were placed in the hospital for an extended period, all box animals were forbidden from being released except for exercise, or use. Loki was included in this. Poor Xiana had thrown a fit when Tsuna took away her box.

Ariel, Isaac, and their mother, Maria, walked over. Maria smiled as her daughter hurried forward and grabbed Xiana's hands, babbling excitedly about their first day of kindergarten. Isaac stood slightly to the side, watching his sister and her friend interact.

"Is it always this difficult?" Squalo asked Maria.

Maria giggled, "Nope. Ariel is too excited to cry, and Isaac loves school. But it will get easier." Bending down, she kissed her children, gave them a hug, and after fixing Ariel's hair ribbon, she bid them goodbye.

Xanxus and Squalo bent down, kissed and hugged Xiana, and bid her goodbye, "Look, that's your teacher," Squalo pointed out a young woman with black hair, and gentle light blue eyes. While Xiana was distracted with looking at her teacher, her parents made a quick escape.

"But I don't want to…" Xiana's voice faded as she turned, only to find her parents gone. She burst into tears.

"Come on Ana," Ariel whispered, hugging her friend. "We can finger paint, and play house, and play dolls with the other girls, and you can scare all the boys, and we'll have snack time, and learn the alphabet."

"Fun," Isaac said before he too left. Some of his school friends were calling to him.

Sighing, Ariel led a still crying Xiana to their teacher and the mass of other children. Most of them had already gotten into small groups. There were three small groups of girls and two large groups of boys. Unsure which to go to, Ariel went to the teacher instead. "I'm Ariel MaryAnn Antonio," she announced to the woman. "And this is Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola, she's my best friend."

The teacher, Mrs. Smiths bent down and smiled at Xiana. "What's wrong Xiana? Why are you crying?"

"Cause I d-don't wa-wanna go to s-s-school," Xiana wailed, attracting the attention of the other kids. "It's s-stupid!"

"Xiana, don't say stupid," Mrs. Smiths scolded gently. "It isn't nice."

"What about f*?" Mrs. Smiths's jaw dropped. "Bitch? Bastard? Whore? Slut? Fag?" For every word she said, she lifted a finger. "Dumb ass? Jack ass? Ass hole?" Ariel slapped her face, and groaned. "C…"

"Okay, that's enough!" exclaimed Mrs. Smiths. The gentle look was gone. "You will say none of those things at school. Ever! Who taught you such horrible language?"

"VAAAI! It's not horrible! How can words be horrible!?" Xiana demanded, furious.

"They can be impolite and hurtful."

"So? It's those fag's fault for taking it seriously."

"I said don't use those foul words or you'll be placed in time out!"

"Go ahead," sneered Xiana, "Like that'll do anything trash."

Xiana spent the next ten minutes in time out while the other kids got to pick their cubby holes. Ariel saved Xiana one next to hers.

After claiming their cubby holes and putting up their things, Mrs. Smiths had everyone sit in a circle. "Okay, we're all going to introduce ourselves, and say something about ourselves. We'll start with me. Hello, I'm Mrs. Smiths, I love teaching and reading." She pointed to the boy to her left. "You next."

"I'm John Thompson, of the Kinso Family. I like to play football with my older brothers."

"I'm Lily Von Cartmen, of the Cartmen Family. I like to play with dolls and my favorite TV show is Winx Club!"

"I'm Stephen Bradley, of the Tomatino Family. I like American football."

"I am Ariel MaryAnn Antonio, of the Antonio Family. I like ballet and ice skating with my best friend Xiana."

"I'm Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola, of the Vongola Family. I'm going to be the next sword emperor like my mamma and the next Varia leader like my papà!"

"Liar!" a boy who had yet to be named shouted. "The sword emperors right now are Yamamoto and Squalo! They're both boys so neither can be your mamma."

"VAAAI! My mamma is Squalo, you dickhead!" Xiana snapped. "And my papà is Xanxus, son of Vongola Nono!"

"Xiana! I said not to say rude words!"

"HA!" the boy exclaimed, pointing at Xiana. "You're a freak!"

"No I'm not! Shut your f*ing mouth!"

"XIANA!"

"Yes you are! Your parents are both boys! That makes you and your mamma freaks of nature."

"That's not true!"

"Only girls are supposed to have babies," the boy jeered. "If your mamma is Squalo that means you're both freaks of nature." He and the other children began to laugh. With a furious roar, Xiana propelled herself at the boy. The moment she came within arms reach she began to hit and kick every part of him she could reach. The boy screamed and started punching back. Ariel let out a despairing cry, "Stop Ana!" she begged. "Stop it or I'll scream!"

"Get off me witch!" the boy roared, managing to kick Xiana in the face. There was a crunching sound. Blood began to pour from Xiana's nose and the socket where a tooth had been a few seconds ago. Unperturbed by her injuries, the Varia princess grabbed the boy and with a battle cry, threw him over her shoulder and down onto the floor.

Other teachers had raced into the room. They were trying to separate the two children. The male gym teacher ran in and grabbed the two, pulling them apart. Xiana still struggled to kick the boy who had offended her and her mother while had started yelling about freaks who shouldn't be aloud in the school.

"She should be locked up!" he exclaimed as the nurse dabbed at a cut on his cheek. "She attacked me and everything! Like some freak!"

"VAAAI! Shut the f* up you f*ing bastard! You insult my mamma! No one insults mamma," Xiana screeched while the nurse's assistant tried to mop up the blood.

Freak!"

"Son of a bitch!"

"Freak!"

"Cock sucker!"

"F-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" screamed Mrs. Smiths. Everyone fell silent. She pointed at the boy, "Time out! It isn't nice to insult people's family no matter if they are odd or normal! YOU!" She glared down at Xiana who, despite having a broken nose and a missing tooth, had clearly won the battle. "I am calling your parents!"

"GOOD!" she snarled. "I didn't want to come to this place anyways! Especially not if I have to listen to you preaching about being nice and shit! The real world isn't nice, and our world isn't nice! I should know!"

Xanxus, Squalo, and Tsuna arrived at the school fifteen minutes later. Squalo was furious, Xanxus was annoyed, and Tsuna looked tired. They were greeted with the pleasant sight of the other children playing games, one boy in time out, and Ariel crying as she sat next to Xiana who was being guarded by the gym teacher.

"VOOOI! What did you do!?" demanded Squalo the moment he saw his daughter. Her face was bloody, her nose and surrounding area turning a lovely black and blue color. When she opened her mouth to answer, they all noticed her missing front tooth.

"He started it!" she exclaimed, pointing at the boy. "He insult you mamma! And me! He called us freaks!"

Squalo groaned and dropped to his knees in front of Xiana. Pulling out a handkerchief, and wet it with a bit of water from a bottle Tsuna passed him and began to clean Xiana's face. "I don't _care_ if some brat insults me! It's a petty and childish way of getting attention! You should have known better than to retaliate! I taught you better! And I told you no cussing here."

"He started it," she grumbled, winching as the wet cloth touched her tender nose. A half smirk formed on her face when she heard Squalo muttering nasty things about the nurse's assistant for setting her nose wrong.

"Hold still, this will hurt."

There was a loud crunch, a pop, and a wail as Xiana reeled back, hands clamped over her now perfectly set nose. She let loose several curse words, tears forming at the edges of her eyes. She stubbornly refused to let them fall. While Squalo tended to her, Xanxus and Tsuna were talking to the teacher.

"Why didn't you shut the brat up when he first spoke out?" demanded Xanxus, his annoyed air hiding his raging fury.

"Because Xiana spoke up because I could," answered Mrs. Smiths.

"And you scold her for cussing but not that brat for insulting my wife and daughter?"

"Xanxus stop it," Tsuna sighed wirily. "All parties involved are at fault."

"Not my daughter," Xanxus grunted. "She defended her family, she isn't in the wrong."

"She could have killed that boy and you'd still say she wasn't in the wrong," said the tenth Vongola with a slight smile.

"All that aside," said Mrs. Smiths. "I will not have that child in my class."

"Yes you will," Tsuna remarked. His voice was casual, but there was a threatening undertone that impressed Xanxus.

"She attacked another student!"

"It was a playground squabble, started by children, and ended by adults when they would have stopped in mere minutes anyways," replied Tsuna in that still calm voice. "You forget the rules of this school ma'am. You don't insult another's Family, and any insult is to be dealt with at the school by the children involved. He insulted Xiana's Family, they fought, it is dealt with, therefore the matter is closed." When Mrs. Smiths opened her mouth to argue, Tsuna fixed her with a piercing glare. "Ma'am, I am a busy man, I came out in under the pretext that one of my charges had seriously injured another child. He had multiple cuts, scarps, and bruises yes, but Xiana has a broken nose and he knocked out a baby tooth. If you have anymore issues take it up with that boy's Family. He started it." Turning to Xanxus, he said, "I'll be waiting in the car." And left, his cloak flapping behind him.

Xanxus smirked at the teacher then went over to his family. Squalo was still trying to clean up all the old blood and new blood that came from fixing Xiana's nose. Upon seeing her father, Xiana grinned maliciously. "I kicked his ass." She held up a fist. Xanxus bumped it with his own and ruffled her hair.

Once cleaned up, Xiana said she wanted to stay till class ended. Deciding a trip to the doctor's could wait two more hours, they left. Grinning, Xiana grabbed Ariel's hand and dragged her over to the painting easels.

* * *

Yami: ...yeah...Xiana is not going to have an easy time dealing with school. With a mother who is male, and attempting to be a master swordswoman and gunslinger...she won't have an easy life...the world is cruel.

Kenshin: Yes...yes it is ;-;

Yami: Off that depressing topic, Xiana's nose heals wonderfully, and Xiale thinks her blue and black nose is the funniest thing ever.

Kenshin: He also pretends to be her doctor.

Yami: Adore the cuteness! ADORE IT!

Xiale: Huh? -cutely-

Yami: EEEEEEEE SOOOOOOO CUTE! -hugs him- Okay, Kenshin, wrap up.

Kenshin: R&R.


	77. Kittens

Yami: For all who want to see what Xiale looks like! http:// watermasterzita. deviantart. com/art/Varia-Prince-130912812 you can also find Xiana's pic if you just go the the regular profile. She's up there.

Kenshin: Now time for a cute chapter. Ready you awwwwwwwwwwww reflex.

Yami: And I start a running gag here. Lets see if you can find it XD

Kenshin: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Kittens**

Squalo stared out the massive windows of the sun room, watching as Xiale toddled around the courtyard with Xanxus in hot pursuit. It was quite around the mansion. Or as quiet as it could get with Fran loudly complaining about being molested, Mammon grumbling, Bel laughing insanely, Lussuria making equally odd noises, and Levi yelling. But that was normal. At least Xanxus wasn't throwing things at them. No, instead, he was outside, playing with his son.

It was an odd sight to an outsider, but not unusual to Squalo. Once she had learned to walk, and began to explore more and more, Xanxus had often taken breaks from his work to follow Xiana around the gardens and courtyards. She was rarely found inside nowadays. Between learning to rollerblade –via Basil, who was marvelous at it –and just running around outside with a sword and attacking the dummies that had been set up, she had little reason to go inside. She still went swimming, but they had a pool outside, and unless the weather proved too cold, or too dangerous to swim in it, she was out in it. A true shark's offspring.

But now she attended school daily, except for Saturday and Sunday. After school she had her ballet, ice skating, riding, and home lessons, so she wasn't home nearly as much as she had been for the past five or so years.

Xiale now took up their time. He had finally mastered the skill of walking, and had quickly started jogging and then running. He kept them all on their toes, just trying to follow him around. And he had the odd habit of randomly stopping to look at things. Fish in the pond, birds in the trees, bugs on the ground.

Today seemed to be no different. Squalo laughed loudly when Xanxus nearly fell over when Xiale stopped short and his father tripped over him. Instead he just stumbled, cursing loudly, and looking back towards the sunroom. Squalo gave him a cheeky look before returning to his book.

"Papà!" Xanxus bent down to see what Xiale was pointing at. The boy was almost too clever. Books kept going missing, always to end up in his little hands, his eyes scanning the pages. And they weren't just regular books. They were books on everything from the anatomy of insects, to an advanced chemistry book –stolen from the library I assure you. When he was lied to, he would stare at the liar with a spooky look. Even though half the things people spoke were in Japanese, or English, he seemed to be able to comprehend it all. The term genius wasn't too far from the truth with the child. He didn't hit prodigy just yet, but he most certainly was above Xiana's own mental level –or just patient's level.

"Papà!" He pointed into a bush. Xanxus raised an eyebrow at what he saw.

Lying there were five small little fur balls. All of them were huddled together, every now and then emitting tiny, nearly muted meows.

"Wokis!" He giggled reaching for one. It shuddered upon contact and meowed loudly. Xiale withdrew his hand, looking shocked.

"Kittens," Xanxus corrected, reaching in slowly and carefully scooping two up with one hand. The entire lot started meowing loudly for their mother. One didn't appear. "Probably dead." Standing, he waved towards the sunroom. Squalo got up, slid open the door, and walked over.

"Voooi! What is it!? I was reading you f*ing…" He stopped, startled at the sight. Xiale had gotten brave and pulled the three remaining kittens out from the bush and now held them proudly in his arms.

"Mamma! Kittens!" He held them up.

Squalo bent down and took one of the kittens from his son's arms. "Hello there runt. Where's your mom?"

The kitten mewed louder, sounding almost like it was crying.

Looking around, Squalo shook his head. "Mother cats don't go too far from their babies. Always within earshot. If she hasn't come back yet, she's probably dead."

"Thought so too."

Squalo shrugged, and stood up. "We'll keep them."

"Bester is going to have a ball with that."

"Shut up."

Once inside, Squalo had a butler go and get some kitten formula from the story while he and Xiale washed the litter. Xiale spent most of the time watching and dumping water on the irate felines, but once they were dried and settled into a warm basket with each other, they calmed down. The butler returned and Squalo sat before the basket, holding a small bottle.

"You're going to help me take care of them, got it?" he asked the boy, who nodded. "You hold the kitten like this and offer the bottle with the warm formula in it. It's like bottle feeding a baby, okay?" He handed one of the kittens to Xiale and a bottle.

The kittens were eager to drink. From the amount of dirt on their fur –they were lucky not to have fleas –and how thin they were, Squalo was surprised no one had found them a long time ago. Of course, with all the business going on, Gokudera getting ill, and the amount of missions everyone had to go on, that courtyard hadn't seen much use.

Finally, the kittens were all fed, and now curled together in the basket. They were pitiful things. They weren't new born kitten small –two hadn't even opened their eyes yet –but they were still small, and skinny. All of them were slightly fluffy, with tipped ears, no tails, and all were black with varying spots and patterns in white and brown.

The door was suddenly flung open and Xiana ran in followed by Mammon and Fran, for once without Bel. "We heard there were kittens."

Squalo pointed at the little bundle of fluff. "Five of them. I think they're pixie-bobs."

"Those are big cats…" Fran sighed. "Why is everything in this place big."

"And what are you using for comparison? Your dick?" Squalo grumbled under his breath.

Fran actually blushed. Mammon smirked.

One of the kittens mewed and looked up at them all sleepily.

Giggling, Xiale poked it. It licked his finger. "Ricardo," Xiale cooed, petting the kitten. "Ricardo." The kitten mewed and nuzzled against his hand.

"Then this one is Giotto!" Xiana exclaimed, pointing at the kitten next to the newly dubbed Ricardo.

"Jesus f*ing Christ! They could be girls! Don't name them yet!"

"Daniela!"

"Fabio!"

"Simora!"

"Most of them are going to turn out to be girls and then we've got a bunch of pissed off spirits on our hands," grumbled Squalo, ever the spiritualist.

Laughter sounded from the doorway and Tsuna walked in. "I don't think so. Giotto has a great sense of humor. Though Ricardo might not find it so funny."

Squalo opened his mouth, intent on asking Tsuna how he knew. His eyes caught the Vongola ring, and he closed his mouth, shaking his head. Best not to ask.

* * *

Yami: On a side note, I started writing a fun little story where the Vongola Sky ring is haunted by all the previous bosses and only Tsuna can see and hear them, and they can physically affect him EX: Reborn walks in to Tsuna's room to tell him to get up, and spots him sitting up floating about half an inch off the surface of his bed as though he is sitting in someone's lap, leaning against them, fast asleep. On another side note, he was leaning against Giotto, who he gets along very well with (wonder why)

Kenshin: Your mind is odd.

Yami: Yes it is! On a third side note pixie-bobs are big cats. Not the biggest, but in the top five I think. Their size is the running gag that you'll understand when the next pets pop up. On a fourth side note, Xanxus is going to kill me.

Kenshin: But enough of that, R&R.

Yami: On a fifth side note, all the kittens named after the guys were girls, and the one girl was a guy. Giotto wouldn't stop laughing, and Ricardo -the second- was PO-ed.


	78. Flashback

Yami:...I had a planned to put this chapter up sooner...but forgot...so I changed it a little, and here it is.

Kenshin: You never plan ahead.

Yami: Yes I do! I just make mistakes, shut up!

Kenshin: -sigh- don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Vooi…Why did you get me pregnant again?" Squalo lifted his head from the toilet to glare at Xanxus. "I said no more!"

"It's not my fault you asked me to f* you when you could reproduce," Xanxus grumbled. He pulled Squalo's hair back as his wife threw up again. Squalo's morning sickness lasted well into the day, sometimes late into the night. It didn't make sense since the baby was taking everything Squalo ate for itself. What did Squalo have left to vomit?

Squalo let out a weak moan. "F* me..."

"No thanks."

A venomous glare was shot Xanxus's way. "You're never f*ing me again! Not if I have to go through this ever again." He pushed himself to his feet, washed out his mouth, and stormed away.

"You're joking right!?" Xanxus called after him.

"NO!"

Xanxus's eyes widened in horror.

Xiana peeked through a crack in the door. Mamma was lying on the bed, looking ill as usual. The baby had been making him sick a lot lately. Papà was nowhere to be seen for once. Usually, when mamma felt really sick, papà would lie with mamma, rubbing his back and letting him rest against him.

Pushing open the door, Xiana rushed silently into the room, and scrambled up onto the bed. "Mamma." Squalo jumped ever so slightly. Xiana was getting really good at being sneaky. "Mamma, do you want anything?"

Squalo opened one eye and smiled at Xiana. "No, I'm fine." He shifted, adjusting the pillow between his legs. Xiana scuttled forward, and curled up against her mamma. "Excited?"

"Maybe."

"Come on kid, admit it."

"Nope."

"Yes you are."

"Na'a."

"Yea'a."

"Na'aaaaa."

"Yea'aaaa."

"Na'aaaa-EEE!" Xiana let out a shriek as Squalo reached over and started tickling her. "MAMMA STOP HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Say uncle!"

"NO EHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!"

Squalo smirked as his fingers danced along his daughter's very ticklish tummy. She wiggled and giggled, trying in vain to escape. When she cried out she was going to wet her pants Squalo finally stop. Snickering, she buried her face in Squalo's shirt.

The baby kicked, hitting Xiana's nose. She yelped and sat up, shocked. "It kicked me mamma!" The scandalized look made Squalo laugh. "Mamma!"

"Yes, they're saying hi." He put his hand on his growing stomach. The baby kicked again. "See?"

"Ciao," she said to Squalo's stomach. "I'm Xiana, your big sista."

"Sist_er._"

"Mamma, when is it going to be born?"

"Don't call your sibling an it."

"Fine then, when is Xi going to be born?"

"In a few months if 'Xi' doesn't decide to come early like you did." Xiana giggled. "It wasn't funny; you scared the shit out of me!" She laughed harder.

Sighing, Squalo put his head down, and closed his eyes as a wave of nausea washed over him again.

"Mamma?"

"Just don't feel good."

"M'kay." She fell silent, though within a few minutes, Squalo heard her breathing even out. Smiling, he wrapped an arm around her.

The door opened an hour later. Xanxus walked in. The sight made the edges of his mouth twitch. After pulling off his shoes, jacket, and shirt, he laid down, throwing an arm across his wife and daughter. Squalo smiled.

The family lay in quiet contentment for almost another hour. Squalo was falling asleep again when Xanxus asked softly, "You were kidding, right?" Growling, the shark gave him a sharp elbow jab.

.

.

.

"And that is why we will never have siblings," Xiana finished her tale to the very attentive audience of two drooling babies and five kittens.

Squalo looked over at Xanxus, "I blame you for this."

"Shut up…you were joking right?"

"Yes Xanxus, I was joking. However," reaching over he grabbed Xanxus by his tie and dragged the man closer, "If you ever get me pregnant again, you will regret it. Am I clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good."

* * *

Yami: :D

Kenshin: -.-

Squalo: -.-

Xanxus: -_-

Yami: DX okay! Jesus. Tough crowd.

Squalo: I better never get pregnant again, or Xanxus won't be the only one in trouble.

Yami: I am GOD here! Don't tempt me bitch.

Kenshin: R&R!


	79. The Truth

Yami: Here it is. The chapter everyone has waited for!...at least everyone who has read my other story. Anyways, it's two in the f*ing morning. I just poured boiling tea on my foot with an ingrown toe nail (AGAIN! I might add) so while my foot and head and eyes throb in pain, I love you all enough to update the first time in the morning. Be. F*ing. Grateful.

Kenshin: You sure are rude tonight Yami-dono.

Yami: The only part of my that doesn't hurt is my lungs, but I'm sure that'll change soon since Hikari just started coughing in her sleep. Give her...ten minutes and she'll wake up, hacking up mucus.

Kenshin: Ew...

Yami: -shrugs- she drank milk before bed. She knows not to do that.

Kenshin: Anyways, don't own, don't sue.

* * *

**Truth**

He had read it to both of them when they were in the womb, and took them to each and every movie, playing the DVDs over and over again for them to watch. It wasn't a big shock that Xiana and Xiale turned into such big Harry Potter fans. So today was a very special day. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows had come out on DVD (coughbookshitcough). Of course, they had immediately gone out and bought it, and then Xiana had demanded that they all watch all seven movies together.

"Well looks like I can't do any work today," Tsuna announced when Xiana had run to him –interrupting an important meeting. "Sorry Dino, Luche, Uni. I hope you'll forgive me." He bent down and scooped up Xiana, who squealed. "Would you like to join us?"

"Sure," Luche said and smiled down at her daughter, who nodded excitedly.

Dino grinned.

There was the click of a safety being removed. "I think not. This meeting is important…"

"Oh Jesus Reborn, leave him alone for a day," Luche scolded. "As the leader of the Arcobaleno, I order you to let Tsunayoshi take a day off."

Reborn opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally rolled his eyes and holstered his gun. "Fine. Just this once."

"Wanna watch too Uncle Reborn?" Xiana asked, giggling as Tsuna held her upside down.

"…Sure."

So everyone gathered in the living room. They were about to start when Gokudera and Yamamoto walked in.

"Uncle Gokudera!" Xiana cried. She leapt from her place, and hurried over to him, throwing her arms around his middle. Looking up at him with a kicked puppy look, she said, "I missed you! Why didn't you come out and play with me?"

"I wasn't feeling food," he explained. Xiana nodded, and returned to her seat while the bomber and swordsman stood up in front of everyone. Blocking the TV.

Gokudera cleared his throat, waited for silence, then said, "We have an announcement to make."

Mukuro couldn't help but make a comment about that. "Are you two finally admitting that you are having wild sex in odd places around the house?"

"What's sex?" Xiana asked.

"Later Xiana," said Squalo.

Blushing, Gokudera flipped Mukuro the bird before taking a deep breath and saying quickly. "I'mpregnant."

A long pause. Everyone was staring them, their mouths, as is so often written, but not often true, were wide and gaping. Gokudera wanted to die. This was almost exactly like that nightmare he had had months ago.

"P-please repeat that," Basil requested weakly.

Okay, screw that, it _was _his nightmare!

Yamamoto wrapped an arm around Gokudera's waist and grinned at everyone. "Gokudera is pregnant," he repeated for the benefit of the one who were shell shocked. "And I'm the father." He was almost glowing with happiness and pride. Gokudera blushed deeply when Bel snickered.

"When is it due?" Tsuna asked, grinning.

"Not it," Yamamoto corrected. He grinned, if possible, wider. "They. Three!"

"TRIPLETS!?"

"You owe me two hundred, and a day of servitude," Squalo told Xanxus, who growled.

Gokudera stared at the pair, "What the f* did you bet on?"

Squalo smirked, "I told him you were a bigender. He didn't believe me."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

The look Squalo gave Gokudera was one of barely contained pity. "Kid, you turned into a f*ing bitch once a month, just like me, just like any other woman out there. The only difference is you have more testosterone, and therefore, only had to deal with the mood swings and cramps for one damn day. It was kind of obvious, especially when you kept stealing my chocolate every time that time of the month came around. Pretty pathetic."

Gokudera glared. "It isn't pathetic! I would be ashamed! You're less masculine than I am!" He puffed out his chest as though having more testosterone was something to be proud of.

Squalo leaned forward and jabbed Gokudera in the stomach. "Kid, there is nothing to be proud of. I may have less testosterone, but I've also got the bigger penis." He smirked while Gokudera's face exploded in red while everyone laughed.

"Leave it koi," Yamamoto whispered when Gokudera opened his mouth to retort. "You're the perfect size in my opinion."

"Because he'll never f* you," called Xanxus, a very smug look on his face. "But if you two ever want to have a little more excitement than hiding out in a closet, come out and ask me. We've got plenty of things to make it interesting." Both Squalo and Gokudera blushed. The silver haired swordsman jabbed his spouse in the side while the bomber glared at his own swordsman, who looked interested in the idea.

"Don't you dare," he hissed.

Tsuna, who had had quite enough of all the sex talk, waved a dismissing hand at the two. "Unless you're also going to announce your engagement, please sit down so we can watch the movies."

Yamamoto clapped his hands. "That's what I forgot!" Turning to Gokudera, he clasped the smaller man's hands between his own. "Hayato Gokudera, will you make miso for me everyday?"

The room fell horribly silent. Gokudera stared in shock at Yamamoto, unable to believe what he had just asked. After a minute, he found his voice again. "W-what?"

"Will you make miso for me everyday?" the rain guardian repeated.

For a long moment, Gokudera didn't say anything. Then his entire face, from his ears to his neck turned a wonderful shade of red. "W-w-what kind of stupid proposal is that!? You dumbass! Stupid bastard! Did you even get me a ring!?"

Grinning, he pulled out a ring. A small silver band with a ruby embedded in it. Jaws dropped. Bianchi stood up and put a gentle hand on her younger brother's shoulder. "I think you mean to say yes?"

Wordlessly, Gokudera nodded.

"Then say it."

"Y-yes," the oriental half breed stuttered. "Yes, I'll make miso for you everyday."

Yamamoto slipped the ring on Gokudera's right ring finger and kissed him. The room erupted with cheers, hoots, and catcalls. From his place over on a love seat, Fran sighed. "Why is everyone gay?"

Bel put an arm around his shoulder, his other arm around Mammon's waist. "You're gay too, little froggy."

"I'm bisexual," Fran replied simply. "Big difference." But he let himself rest his head against Bel's shoulder.

Xanxus smirked at Squalo. "You owe me a day of servitude and a stripe tease."

Several people choked.

Squalo rolled his eyes, "I do that all the time, I don't see why this time will be any different."

More people choked, and a few spluttered.

"Because after you stripe down, you'll be walking around the entire day in nothing but an apron."

Squalo blanched, Tsuna gagged, everyone else roared with laughter.

And so began a new part of Gokudera and Yamamoto's lives.

* * *

Yami: If you read the other story's chapter that comes out at the same time, you'll see pretty much everything is exactly the same...I got lazy while writing them...

Kenshin: -.-'

Yami: Oh shut up Ken-kun! Deal with the readers, Hikari is crying now. -grumbles to self-where's the humidifier?

Kenshin: R&R everyone, and hope you enjoyed the chapter ^-^ And yes! The fabled apron scene will be coming up shortly.

Yami: -from over in the closet still looking for the blasted machine- WHEN I WRITE IT!!!


	80. Parta

Yami: ^-^ Xanxus being a good father, coming right up.

Kenshin: Creepy thought there.

Yami: Indeed. On a side note. I received a note from a fellow author, criticizing me on some things. Don't go and kill her! What I mean to say to her is thanks. I love all your reviews that say how much you love my story and you'll die without it and so on and so forth. But I would love if you all also criticized me. Tell me how I can improve. If I have a bad habit that should be corrected tell me. I want to make it as a professional writer some day, so I need to improve here and now. And you all can help.

Kenshin: So don't own, don't sue. ^-^

* * *

**Parta**

People were talking so loudly it hurt his ears. They'd been sensitive since the kidnapping incident. Loud noises, especially bangs and shots, like a gunshot, scared him to death. And now, the loud noises just wouldn't go away. He let out a soft wail. "Mamma!" He looked at the mass of people in the living room. Why was he here? Where was sissy? Or mamma? Papà? "Mamma!"

Two large, callused hands scooped him from the playpen. He grabbed onto the person, hiding his face in their shoulder while they patted his back.

"Heeeeey, Xanxus! You gots the kid I sees."

"I told you to stop f*ing drinking when one of the kids is around f*tard," Xanxus growled, pushing the drunk man away.

The ninth was celebrating his birthday today, so there were _a lot_ of people here. Xiana was having a ball telling everyone about her ice skating lessons, and how she had a show with Isabella coming up. Ariel had to remind her about their ballet recital the next month as well. Squalo was talking to the other mothers, several of whom had babies at their hips and a few older ones running through the forest of legs.

"It'sss a paaaarty," the man drawled. "Howss the laaaad?"

Xiale let out a semi-loud cry. Xanxus pushed the drunk further away. "Would be better if you'd go away."

"Thaaat'ssssss not niice."

"I'll break your f*ing legs if you don't go away," Xanxus snarled. The man ran. Xanxus turned his attention to his sobbing son. "Where did your mother leave the earplugs?" He didn't except an answer, and sure enough, all he got was a sob. Bouncing the baby, he went over to Squalo.

Squalo, true to his nature, was looking a little nervous around the mass of women, but he easily fit into the conversation, and they let him, listening to his advice or answering questions. Most were housewives, who stayed home with the kids, kept the household in order, and looked pretty. Squalo and two other women were the other ones who actually worked. When Xanxus walked over with the crying baby, he broke off what he was saying. "What's wrong?"

"Too loud," Xanxus said, handing the crying child over. He sobbed louder till he was settled in his mother's arms. "Where's the earplugs?"

"On the dresser in his room. I'll hold him, hurry back. And get a bottle while you're at it, he needs something to eat."

"Apple, milk, or grape?"

"Get him apple, he still doesn't have a taste for milk."

"'kay." He left without another word.

One of the women sighed, "You're so lucky." Squalo looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You've got the most handsome, strong, connected husband out there, and not only that, he helps with the children! My own hardly knows what to do with our son."

Speaking of her son.

"Say uncle!" Xiana demanded, holding the boy in a headlock while Ariel freaked, and Isaac sighed. "Say uncle!"

"Uncle! Uncle!"

"F* YEAH! WHO ELSE!?"

"My husband just teaches our son to fight, but when it comes time to give him a bath…"

That son dived at Xiana. She grabbed him and flipped him over her shoulder before firmly planting an elbow in his gut.

"It took a lot of training," Squalo admitted, privately laughing. The phrase training included a lot of threats usually involving no sex for two months or longer, no cooking biscotti –Xanxus loved biscotti, little known fact –or any number of things.

Soon enough, Xanxus appeared again, put the earplugs in, and took Xiale back.

People are weird, Xiale decided as the women all burst in excited whispers. Looking around from his higher vantage point he spotted his family. Sissy was beating up a ten-year-old. Bel was arguing with Gokudera who was starting to look quite plump. Three babies could do that to you. Kyoko and Tsuna were talking to Dino. Kyoko was glowing. Levi was talking to Lancia, the two talking with minimal words. Mammon, Fran, Mukuro, and Chrome were having a deep conversation. Skull was hanging at Lal's shoulder, looking as nervous as Colonnello did with the woman being two months along with a second child. Everyone else was talking and chatting to various people.

"Having fun?" papà asked him, as they settled into a chair.

Xiale babbled a few words, most still baby talk, and grabbed his bottle.

"Me neither. F*ing hate parties…"

"Party bleh!" He popped the bottle into his mouth.

Xanxus chuckled. Xiale giggled.

"PAPÀ! XIALE!" The two looked over at Xiana, who was waving at them from beside a pile of bodies. "LOOK AT ALL THE F*TARDS I BEAT! TOLD YOU I COULD PAPÀ!"

Oh f*…

"XANXUUUUUUUS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ahhh, the sounds of an angry wife.

* * *

Yami: Yeah! Xanxus isn't getting any tonight!

Xanxus: T^T

Yami: -evil cackle-

Kenshin: How cruel.

Yami: Indeed, but as soon as I write it, I'll have the apron up. On a side note, the one who criticized me...also gave me advise on how to write the apron chapter. -grins- I've been trying to write it for awhile now and kept failing. Thank the mysterious person whose name shall remain unknown for safety reasons.

Kenshin: R&R


	81. Apron

Hikari: HIIII! For all who don't know, I'm Hikari and that's Toitsu!

Toitsu: Greetings...

Hikari: We're Yami's triplets! And she's otherwise busy.

Yami: -working on her Viper cosplay while cussing out the needle-

Hikari: I'm Lal! And Toitsu's Luche! The ladies of the Arcobaleno!

Toitsu: Now we need the guys.

Hikari: Anyways! Don't own, don't sue! And review too!

Toitsu: You say that at the end Hikari.

Hikari: XD oops!

Yami: -over in corner cussing cause she stabbed herself-

* * *

**Apron**

Making a bet with Mammon was a very stupid thing to do. Squalo had learned that. He still made bets with the twisted teen. Why? Even I, the all powerful author, don't know. Perhaps it was lack of survival instincts. Assassins lack those, since they are crazy enough to rush in and kill everything and everyone. Except the dog. But not the fish. Bel once went in, killed an entire household, and slaughtered their pet angel fish. He left the dog with her puppies alive. Kindness? Mercy? Who knows. But I digress.

Making a bet with Mammon was one of the most foolish things to do. Second only to playing strip poker with Tsuna. Vongola intuition was cheating! Sadly, these two things people kept doing. _Reborn_ had been stripped to a loincloth because of making both mistakes. Why did everyone still do them? Because they have no common sense probably. But once again, I digress.

So we've established that making bets with Mammon and playing poker with Tsuna were both very foolish things to do. There is one more though. Making a bet with Xanxus when he already knows the outcome is also very foolish. And sadly, that's what Squalo did.

Which is why, now stripped of everything but an apron and a pair of boxers, Squalo was determinedly ignoring his boss. As he attempted to clean the top of the shelves in Xanxus's office. This was normally servants work. But today Squalo was Xanxus's personal servant, which when you think about it, would have meant sex galore. Xiana was at her horse riding lesson. Most people were out on missions except Fran who was sick and Anita, who never left! But that aside. There was one person keeping Squalo's ass safe.

"Nose!" Xiale poked Xanxus's nose and pulled back with a giggle. (^///^ that commercial is so cute) The edges of Xanxus's mouth twisted. Reaching up, he grabbed at his father's hair, so much like his own. "Hair!"

Ignoring Xiale was incredibly hard. Especially since he was being so damn adorable today. If Rosalina was Xiana's nanny, than Anita was Xiale's, and she had been teaching him the simple body parts the other day. Since then, he hadn't stopped naming them.

"Ear!"

Squalo smiled as he reached the retarded feather duster as high as he could. Which, in reality, wasn't much. He just barely didn't make the six foot mark, where everyone but Bel and Mammon reached. So trying to reach the top of the ten foot shelf (why the f* is the shelf ten feet Squalo often wonders) doesn't exactly work. Stretching as hard as he could, he groaned when the stupid feather dusted just barely touched the edge. "Vooi! Why the f* am I doing this!?" He said it to the room at large because he was ignoring Xanxus.

"Because I won the bet," Xanxus replied, suddenly watching Squalo with great interest. Xiale blinked and looked from his mother to father and back, confused. Pouting, he reached up and tugged at his father's locks.

"Play!"

"Later, nap time." Reaching for the phone, he typed in a few numbers, and waited with the receiver to his ear. "Anita, come get Xiale. It's his nap time." A pause. "Whatever…" He hung up, and sat back, watching with a slight smirk as Squalo continued to strive and fail to reach the top.

Anita finally appeared and took the now yawning toddler off Xanxus's hands. She left with a long suffering sigh. Finally alone, Xanxus sat back in his large comfy leather armchair (ever notice the Varia seem to have a deranged love of leather) and watched Squalo. He was still stretching, moaning and groaning, either at the amount of stretching he was forcing on his muscles or just because of his current situation. He hated cleaning…at least when he had to do it against his will.

Squalo suddenly paused in his work and looked around. When he noticed Xanxus watching him, he blushed. "VOOI! S-STOP STARING!" He glanced around for a stepping stool, found none, and finally gave up on dusting. Dropping the thrice damned feathery abomination onto a table he started gathering up the toys in the office. Xiana and Xiale often ended up in the office after a long day just to annoy their father. So it was no surprise that their toys were scattered on the floor.

The smirk grew slightly as Xanxus watched Squalo bending over as he came across another toy. It gave him a lovely view of his ass.

"I SAID STOP STARING F*ER!" The blush on his face was more evident now. He bent down to pick up another toy –a doll Lussuria had given Xiana. As he straightened up a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. Quick as a shark in water, he slipped out of the hold and stalked away, head held high, purposefully ignoring his boss. The bastard had told him to clean his office, their room, and the kitchen. He'd even dismissed the usual people who would do that. Very well, Squalo would clean. But Xanxus wouldn't be getting any.

He left the office rather quickly and dropped the toys off in the children's rooms. Xiale was fast asleep in his crib. Squalo left as silently as he had entered and made for the kitchen. He would clean their room later, hopefully when Xanxus had work to do and wouldn't bother him.

The kitchen was, in short, a mess. There were dirty dishes in the large sinks, there was food out, spices not put away, and what looked like a combination of sugar and flour all over the floor. Oh, and something that looked like a milk shake on the ceiling. Ew. At least the Storm and Rain brat weren't still here, or he'd probably have to deal with strange food concoctions out as well.

Putting his hair into a tight braid and then putting the braid into a bun, Squalo got to work. The dishes first. Stupid. Dirty. Filthy. Smelly. Oily dishes. He preferred blood. Blood was slick, warm, with a nice coppery taste, and an even nicer metallic scent. One part of the scent that was Xanx… No! he berated himself. Do the f*ing dishes and forget about that f*er for a moment…f*… A dish slipped from his fake hand and shattered upon the floor. He carefully stepped away from it and continued to do the dishes.

The door opened and the scent of blood, leather, gunpowder, and alcohol wafted over to him. He dropped another dish, this time on his foot. With a screech of pain, he jumped away from the new broken dish, his hand grabbing at the countertop. Instead of the hard, cold granite, his fingers closed over something cold and sticky just as his foot slipped in the same stuff. The crash was enough to knock over whatever was dripping the sticky shit. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't landed on him.

"F*!" Squalo exclaimed. He sat up, hissing as his back protested. Stupid f*ing cold hard floor. Who the hell puts f*ing wood in a kitchen!? "…WHO THE F* LEFT THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE OUT!?" The person by the door chuckled darkly. It was official, the world was out to get him Squalo decided. His left foot was bleeding, he was wet, hot, and covered in chocolate sauce. Oh, and it was all Xanxus's f*ing fault! He groaned.

"Nice display there, trash," Xanxus commented as he stalked –he never just walked –over to his rain guardian and squatted down in front of him. He took in Squalo's disheveled and chocolaty appearance. He looked delicious.

"Oh, f* no," Squalo snarled when he saw the look in Xanxus's eye. "You're making me clean in an apron and my f*ing boxers! You're not getting anything!" He started to get up, and slipped again in the stupid chocolate sauce. Xanxus caught him. And just like that, Squalo knew he was trapped. The wolfish smirk on his husband's face, and the lustful gaze was enough to tell him that much. "Xanxus n…" His protests were cut off when Xanxus roughly pulled him against him and pressed his lips to his. Squalo fought, struggling to get free. Xanxus, stronger and taller, held fast until the bucking and writhing stopped.

Squalo had discovered long ago that Xanxus would get him into bed whether he wanted it or not. If Xanxus wanted sex bad enough, even if he just wanted to f* for f*'s sake, all he had to do was get Squalo into a submissive position and press just the right buttons. Spots actually but when it came to sex, there isn't a difference. Squalo will whine and fight throughout the entire thing, but when Xanxus gets him hard –really not that hard to do –then he'd stay till the end. Because Xanxus was really, _really_ good at sex, foreplay or not.

They broke apart. Xanxus pushed Squalo flush against the chocolate covered cabinets. The swordsman glared at him, trying desperately to ignore the obvious tent his boss was now pitching, and his own growing erection. "Get off."

"No."

"F* Xanxus! Get off! I'm not in the m-fg…" Once again, silenced by those bruising lips. Squalo tried to punch him, only to have his wrists caught and held above his head. He kept his lips shut tight. A sharp bite on the bottom one made him gasp and Xanxus took that as an invitation to invade his right-hand man's mouth. Once Xanxus got started, there wasn't really much Squalo could do. He could fight and turn their sex into rough sex that borderline rape, or he could submit and get the easy way out.

Squalo didn't submit easily.

Still…Xanxus had a talented tongue and talented fingers. His free hand slipped under the stupid apron Squalo was wearing, touching the sensitive spots, and teasing suddenly erect nipples. Squalo moaned against the kiss, his back arching painfully as Xanxus caught one nipple between forefinger and thumb. He played with it till it was red and full of blood before moving on to the other one, getting a louder wanton moan from the man under him.

The kiss broke with a pop and Xanxus smirked down at Squalo, silver eyes glazed over, cheeks flushed red, and kiss bruised lips lightly parted, panting for breath. "What was that trash?" He didn't wait for a reply. Leaning in against, he ran his tongue along the pulse in Squalo's neck.

"S-stop," Squalo practically begged, struggling against the solid body pinning him to the cabinets. "Xa-AHHH!" His cry turned into an erotic mewl as Xanxus bite down on Squalo's neck. Hands made quick work of the tie holding the apron up. As it fell away, Xanxus let his head sink lower and lower, leaving a trail of love marks, until he came across one of the perk red nipples. One lick sent the silver haired warrior shivering and mewling like a sex addicted whore. His cries of pleasure when Xanxus captured that same nipple between his teeth was music to his ears. "X-XANXUS!"

Squalo fought. Or at least tried. He writhed and twisted, but his body responded more to the things Xanxus did to him rather than his own thoughts and wishes. Just like every time before. And he couldn't deny it. The kisses, feeling Xanxus's tongue going back and forth over his sensitive nipple while his hands made quick work of the other tie of the apron was more than enough to make him lose all sense of reality. He hadn't even noticed that Xanxus had released his wrists.

"S-s-st…" His half muttered pleads fell on deaf ears, his own included. Rough fingers pulled away the apron and slipped into the boxers. Squalo didn't even realize this until a callused hand grabbed hold of his throbbing erection, already leaking precum and giving it a hard pump. "AH! XAN…Ngh…!" He threw his head back, unable to even feel the pain as the back of his skull collided with the cabinets. "F-f-faste…SHIT!" Xanxus had given him a hard squeeze, hard enough to make it painful.

"Shut up trash," Xanxus muttered from somewhere around his navel. "I thought you didn't want this? Hmmm…just proves you're a slut."

SNAP!

That bastard went there.

"GET THE F* OFF ME XANXUS!" Squalo kicked out, catching Xanxus in the sternum. A crash resounded around the still filthy kitchen as the Varia boss knocked over a chair, landing with a grunt on his back. Standing up shakily, the shark glared down at his raven haired lover. "Stupid f*ing dick!"

Xanxus scrambled to his feet, not even wincing when his back cracked loudly. Squalo ran. Slipping and sliding over the slippery chocolate mess. He didn't even make it three steps before he found himself slammed up against the counter with Xanxus pushing him down on it.

"XANXUS F*ING STOP! I'M TIRED OF YOUR F*ING SH…NGH!" All crude cuss words and orders were cut short when his boxers were pulled down, freeing his hard cock, and a finger was shoved up his unready entrance. He cried out as Xanxus pushed in deep, finger curling to try and touch that bundle of nerves he knew would have Squalo screaming his name.

"What was that? You're tired? Don't look it. You sure fight pretty hard for being tired," Xanxus jeered, ramming another finger in. Squalo, beyond being able to reply with words, meanly whined, pushing his hips back against the fingers. He'd just kill Xanxus later. With that stupid feather duster. A third finger was scissored in before Xanxus finally managed to hit that sweet spot. He smirked as Squalo cried out his name in a hoarse voice. "We should do this more often when the kids are gone," he suggested innocently as he not so innocently reached for a second bottle of chocolate syrup. He pumped his fingers in and out a few more times, hitting that spot each time then pulling out before he made Squalo come too soon.

Standing up strait, he undid his belt, letting his pants fall, boxers following seconds later. When the cold air of the kitchen hit his rock hard dick he hissed. Squalo, who had regained a bit of sense, lazily looked back at him over his shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw the chocolate syrup. "VOOOI! THE F* YOU DOING WITH THAT!?"

The smirk on Xanxus's face was not reassuring. "Lube," he replied simply, pouring some of the stuff out onto his hand. "Otherwise I have to listen to you bitch because I f*ed you dry." He slapped the stuff onto his cock.

"No. No! NO! F* NO!" Squalo tried to run only to have Xanxus catch him effortlessly around the waist and push him back against the counter, ass in the ready position. "XANXUS NO! I DON'T F*ING WANT IT!"

"Your dick says otherwise." Squalo glared, ignoring his own throbbing member. Before he could protest further –Xanxus love to interrupt things –Squalo found himself flat against the granite counter tops with Xanxus thrusting into his complacent ass. The chocolate syrup felt weird! Weirder than getting f*ed by water and Xanxus at the same time when they did it in the pool that one time. Even weirder than the time Xanxus had decided to torture him and shoved a vibrator up there. It was sticky like cum, yet slick like lube, but a lot thicker, and it filled every little space that Xanxus's large cock didn't.

Another thrust and Xanxus grinned victoriously as he hit Squalo's prostate, making the man scream his name. It always ended this way when Squalo denied wanting it. Sooner or later, he was putty in the boss's hands. Though doing it in the kitchen was certainly a change of scenery.

A rhythm soon started. In, out, in, out. Squalo mewled, whined, moaned, and cried out as electric pleasure raced through his pounding veins. His breath was coming in short quick pants as Xanxus picked up speed, and he cried out when his scarred lover grabbed hold of his leaking member and pumped it in time to the same rhythm as he thrust in.

"Oi…S-squalo…" Squalo looked around when Xanxus gasped out his name. His lips were caught in a fierce kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance, Squalo just trying to gain some ground while Xanxus continued to conquer. The tight coil of heat in his stomach tightened.

"Xa-Xanxus," he murmured against the kiss. The coil tightened. He flinched as a particularly hard thrust left him seeing stars. "SHIT! XANXUS! Ng…I'm…g-g…"

"P-pussy, c-coming so s-soon?" Xanxus thrust in hard again. The Squalo tightened around him as, with one loud cry, he came. Another few thrusts and Xanxus came too, whispering his lover's name. They stayed in that position, Squalo bent over the counter, Xanxus leaning over him, for a minute while they both tried to catch their breaths and calm their frantically beating hearts. Xanxus finally pulled out, dripping chocolate and cum on the floor. He fell into a chair, pulling a weak kneed Squalo into his lap. They shared a much gentler kiss, arms wrapped around each other for warmth.

"F*ing hate you," Squalo mumbled when the kiss broke. "Can't keep your f*ing dick to yourself."

Xanxus chuckled as he rested his forehead in the hallow of Squalo's neck. "You liked to, stop bitching." A comfortable silence fell. The steady drip of chocolate sauce falling off the counter was the only sound to penetrate the otherwise quiet kitchen.

"Do I have to clean this up?" Squalo suddenly asked, looking around.

"You can't even f*ing walk you dumb bitch. You'd just break more dishes." Speaking of which, Squalo's foot was bleeding rather badly now.

"F*!"

Xanxus deposited Squalo on the little table and pulled up his boxers and pants again. Once his clothes were back in place he picked up his wife and off they went to the bathroom for a nice cleaning and first aid session.

.

.

.

"Story," Xiale demanded, shoving the rather large book in Xiana's face.

Xiana sighed and took it. "Where are papà and mamma? I have to finish my homework." Her homework consisted of coloring pictures to match numbers.

"Bathroom."

"Bathroom?" She paused and glanced at the clock. "Isn't only five! Why the f* are they in the bathroom?"

"Cleaning."

"Cleaning it?"

"Nope."

"They're taking a bath together?"

"Together."

Xiana paused again, and wondered briefly if this had anything to do with the mess in the kitchen. She shook off that thought. No way, what would the chocolate syrup she left out last night have to do with anything? Settling into a chair with Xiale, she opened the book to the marked page and began to read. "Daja, Briar, and Tris thought this over. Sandry continued to wind thread onto her shuttle.

Lark fiddled with a piece of scarlet thread, then continued."

* * *

Toitsu: hmmmm, she could have done better. Her last one was better than this...

Hikari: Huh? Chapters? They're all good.

Toitsu: -_-

Yami: -over is corner- YES! All my chapters are good! No need for you to read this one!

Hikari: ^-^ k! R&R everyone!!!

Yami/Toitsu: -sighs- saved.


	82. Dogs

Yami: kekekekeke, and this is where the running gag ends.

Kenshin: I hardly see the humor in this.

Yami: Well you might not. But I love it! And so will one reader ^-^

Kenshin: -sigh- don't own, and please don't sue.

* * *

**Dogs**

He stood there, staring at the scene before him. He must be dreaming. That was the only explanation for this. Or maybe he was drunk and imagining everything. Yes. That one sounded more likely. He had had some very nice vodka earlier that day. Maybe he drank the whole thing without realizing it.

The…_things_…barked. He backed away. Bester's box vibrated a little.

"W…what is f* are those?"

Squalo looked a little shocked at the stutter in Xanxus's speech, but he answered nonetheless. "Dogs, puppies actually."

"I KNOW THAT! WHY THE F* ARE THEY HERE!?"

"Xiana's friend, Isabella, has an aunt who has a lot of dogs. She died. The adults went to various family members, but they had a lot of puppies that needed a home. Xiale wanted them."

"I HATE DOGS!"

"The fact that you are hiding behind the door does signify that," Squalo commented dryly, watching his husband try to keep as much space between him and the multitude of puppies in the room.

"He has cats! Why does he need dogs!?"

"I like dogs too."

"GET RID OF THEM!"

"No."

Xanxus left as quickly as he could without actually running. Dogs were…evil little things…or big, depending on what type of dog you had. Anita had had a Newfoundlander when he was young and that dog never left him alone! And every time he tried to sneak out of the house or do something bad it would attack him! Goddamn, no good, dirty, stupid dogs!

"Mamma?" Xiale inquired, looking up at his mother.

Squalo smiled and patted his head. "Don't worry, you're father is being a fag."

"'kay…"

The saint Bernard puppy, named Saint, nudged the Bernese mountain dog, named Coli. She pushed back and barked. The Siberian husky pup, Coco, yipped and pounced on the Gordon Setter –named Gordon. The golden retriever, Mustang, yawned and licked Xiale's cheek, Adina giggled. The blood hound, Itsy Bitsy, was snoozing over with the kittens, who were using her as a shield from the other large puppies. The greater swiss mountain dog , Cheese, was sniffing around the large glass windows of the sunroom, as though wondering where to pee. The great Pyrenees, Blanco, was investigating the couch, along with the Neapolitan mastiff, Bernardo. Curled up between the two was Dante, the mastiff. Lying on a chair was the Kuvasz, Elda. Shamrock, the Irish wolfhound, was trying to get Xiana's attention, yipping and jumping around her. Fina the Tibetan mastiff was pawing at Isabella's hand, wanting to be petted. Ariel and Isaac were entertaining themselves with the Labrador retriever Gino, who was rolling around on the floor. And the last of the new puppies, a great Dan named Scooby, was searching for food. (15)

The littlest dog was currently cowering behind Squalo, whimpering whenever one of the large puppies came near her. Upon spotting the open door, the little Cavalier King Charles spaniel shot out and raced down the hall away from the room filled with giant puppies!

.

.

.

"Dogs," Xanxus snarled as he stormed into his office. "I hate f*ing dogs!" Bester's box shook violently. "Exactly, cats are better. Quiet. The only things they need are a few toys, food, and a litter box!" Shake. "Except those little things, but they'll stop bottle feeding soon enough." Sighing, he fell into his seat and closed his eyes.

Lussuria stuck his head into the office not a minute later. "Bossu~ did you see all those adorable mastiff puppies?! Aren't they adorable!"

He froze. "M-m-m-mastiff? As in…massive?"

"Exactly! They'll all grow to be such beautiful large dogs!" He left, giggling.

Xanxus accepted the fact that his wife was out to kill him and he wanted to die.

Whimper.

Both Xanxus and Bester jumped about a foot in the air. Swearing, Xanxus drew his feet up off the floor as a tiny little puppy wandered into the room. "Shoo," he ordered, waving his hand at the tiny thing. "Shoo. Shoo."

She whimpered and slowly approached him.

"Go away."

She let out a pitiful whimper and looked up at him with large wallowing eyes. Approaching, she stared at him, still whimpering.

"What do you want…you're not as big as those hellions…are you a runt?"

She let out a little yip and stood on her hind legs, pawing at his chair. He flinched back. She whimpered and fell back onto her four feet. Bester moved a little. Xanxus glared down at the little puppy. With another whimper, she laid down and put her paws over her nose.

"Why the f* are you in my office?"

Whimper.

"Go back to the room. Now."

A louder whimper.

Slowly, he put his feet back down on the floor. She scooted up and rested her head on his foot.

Bester didn't make any comment, and she wasn't drooling on his shoes so it was okay…a little…

"WOOF!"

Bester, Xanxus, and the little runt at his feet jumped about two feet in the air. Whining, she hopped into Xanxus's lap as the man pulled his feet off the floor. A stamped of puppies ran by, Xiana in the front. "FREEDOM!" The other humans brought up the rear.

"Let them out in the grass courtyard!" Squalo called out. He stopped when he spotted Xanxus looking horrified with a shaking box and a shivering puppy in his arms. "Oh, you found Pina. Want me to take her?"

"And put her with those murderous things!?" Pina whimpered and shook violently at just the thought.

"Fine, keep her, I need to make sure those dogs don't kill someone." He was about to leave when Xanxus stopped him.

"You hate me don't you?"

Squalo smirked. "Of course not, but I won't say no to a bunch of adorable animals asking for a home." He flicked him off and hurried after the children.

Xanxus looked down at Pina, who looked up at him and yipped. "I think they are trying to kill me." She licked his hand, curled up, and decided now was a good time for a nap.

List of pups:

Saint Bernard: Saint (m)

Bernese Mountain Dog: Coli (f)

Siberian husky: Coco (f)

Gordon Setter: Gordon (f)

Golden Retriever: Mustang (m)

Blood Hound: Itsy Bitsy (f)

Greater Swiss Mountain Dog: Cheese (m)

Great Pyrenees: Blanca (f)

Neapolitan Mastiff: Bernardo (m)

Mastiff: Dante (m)

Kuvasz: Elda (f)

Irish Wolf Hound: Shamrock (m)

Tibetan Mastiff: Fina (f)

Labrador Retriever: Gino (m)

Great Dan: Scooby (m)

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: Pina (f)

* * *

Yami: ^o^

Kenshin: O.O

Dark: OoO

Yami: O.o wtf are you doing here Dark!? Go back to the other story!

Dark: But this has dogs! I happen to like dogs.

Yami: When they aren't chasing you -smirks-

Dark: That never happened!

Yami: Whatever, R&R everyone! And before you ask, yes, I love giant and large dogs. Espcially lazy ones, so my future dog is a newfoundlander named Nana so she can take care of my older sister's kids when they come over -evil laugh-

Dark/Kenshin: -_-


	83. Good Bye

Yami: -hiding behind Xiana- Oh fuck....you guys are going to kill me.

Kenshin: O.o you didn't sensor your words...AHHH! THE PLAGUE IS COMING!

Yami: Shut up Ken! Froggy-chan (I think you all can figure out which author that is) suggested I stop. It makes it seem immature ^-^ she's the one who helped me. So thank her!!! Errr. -returns to hiding-

Xiana: -chewing gum- why the fuck are they going to kill you trash?

Yami:...because this is the second to last chapter -cowers-

Kenshin: -hides- don't own don't sue!

Xiana:...VAAAAAI!

* * *

**Good Bye**

Xanxus had long ago established the fact that he hates everything. It was _how_ much he hated something that determined his attitude towards it. For example, Xiana, Squalo, Xiale, and Bester were lowest on his hate list. They were all annoying at times –except Bester because he was _never_ annoying –Xiana always wanted him to come to her ice skating practices even though she knew he hated ice as much as he hated large dogs. Xiale kept bringing in animals including fish –they had a tank of tropical fish –dogs –actually that was Xiana's fault but whatever –cats, and a snake. Squalo let them, with the expectation that they would take care of the pets.

Xiale needed help feeding the fish since the tank was too high for him to put the food in, same with the snake, and the dogs took care of Xiale instead of the other way around. At least he helped Squalo feed the kittens, who had finally gotten out of the bottle stage and were now eating soft dry food.

Then the Varia came into the scale. He hated Mammon the least out of all of them because he helped with paperwork and finances. He was followed by Bel and Fran, who came with Mammon whether he wanted them to or not. Fran kept quiet if you glared at him just right, and Bel was fine as long as he had either Mammon or Fran to hug. Levi was next. Because he was quite. Lussuria was last. Because he was a f*ing homo fag with a love of corpses and was loud and girlish. More so than Xiana, who _was_ a girl.

The brats followed then his father, then the rest of the world.

That is…until little Pina appeared at the house. At first he jumped every time she appeared. The little dog would pop up everywhere, with a yip and a happy expression on her fluffy face. She would hurry to him, put her front paws on his leg and give a little bark. If he didn't yell in shock, she would get up on his lap and nap. She avoided the rest of the dogs and cats like her life depended on it –which it probably did, she was tiny! She didn't even weight five pounds right now.

Still, having the little pup as a shadow was a little weird…

Squalo pulled away from the kiss, flushed and panting. For a moment, Xanxus was confused why he had stopped, then he heard it too. A soft whining at the door. With a groan, Squalo rolled off him, and hide his head under the pillow. "God! The other pups never come in here."

"For good reason," growled Xanxus as he got up and pulled on his boxers. Upon opening the door he was assaulted with a whimpering puppy. Picking her up, he went back to bed and let her down on the mattress. Yipping, Pina licked Squalo's hand, beamed up at Xanxus, and curled up at the foot of their bed.

"I want sex tomorrow night," Squalo informed him.

"Agreed." They both settled in for a good night's sleep. Like every other time Pina managed to get into their room, once she thought they were asleep, she snuck over and lay down between them.

Xanxus wasn't the only one to bond with one of the dogs. Xiale and Xiana adored their new fluffy siblings. Xiale would take his afternoon nap in the "Puppy room" which had a dog flap that lead out to the grass courtyard that connected to the backyard. The tenth had kindly installed a fenced around the expansive backyard so the pups could run out there.

Everyday upon arriving home –with friends or not –Xiana would run to the puppy room and say hello to them, then take them out to the backyard to play. During this time, Xiale would go and play with his beloved kittens, who thought him a fun sibling and jungle gym. More than once, Xanxus had gone to check on the children late at night only to find both missing. Upon searching for them, he found them with the kittens in the puppy room.

The dogs were…a nice addition to the family. Annoying, as once when Xanxus left his office door open, the entire lot raced into the room chasing Pina. Poor Xanxus nearly had a heart attack. He certainly wouldn't get off his desk till all the puppies were back in their room. Squalo thought it was hilarious, Xanxus didn't and for once it was reverse of roles because Xanxus wouldn't give when Squalo wanted…badly…

Any way…

Xiana grinned as she waved to her parents as they dropped her off. Xiale cooed and waved back. Squalo smiled and Xanxus nodded. Turning away, she raced into the school. Pina barked and whimpered.

"I wonder how much longer till she's going out to kill enemies of the Family," mused Squalo, watching his first born child disappear from view.

"Soon, because tomorrow I'm starting her on anti-tank rifles."

Squalo threw back his head and laughed.

Xiale giggled.

Xanxus smirked and threw an arm around his wife.

Xanxus Vongola: age (Xanxus: Leave my age out of this!). Life threatening incidents: too many to count, with many more to come.

Squalo Superbia Vongola: age (Squalo: -glares-). Life threatening incidents: too many to count, and more to come.

Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola: age 6, kindergarten. Life threatening incidents: 3 and many more to come.

Xiale Timoteo Superbia Vongola: age 1 and a half. Life threatening incidents: 2 and more to come.

But all that is…another story.

* * *

Yami: And now we end the first story. Yes, end! Because I cannot write two stories at once. The Yama/Goku story will be much shorter than this one because I won't go into the after birth much. I've over done this story too much anyways, and don't lie and say I haven't. Next time I write a story, it'll be shorter.

So, see you all later…don't kill me O.O

Xiana: WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT HERE!? WHAT ABOUT MY FUTURE BOYFRIENDS!?

Yami: -cowers- I'll give them a quick recap in the last chapter...put I've over kill this one sooooooooo much, it's not worth it anymore. I can't save it...but I can focus all my attention on the Yama/Goku story.

Xiana: NOT GOOD ENOUGH! -pulls out weapons-

Yami: XIALE!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEE! -hides behind Xiale-

Xiale: No kill Ana!

Xiana:...fuck..... -leaves-

Yami: -hugs him- thanks sweetie...now protect me from......them!!! -points at readers-

Kenshin: R&R please


	84. The End edit

Yami: THE END! IT'S DONE! WITH THIS CHAPTER I DUEDY WED!

Kenshin: O.o

Squalo: O.O

Xanxus: OxO

Everyone else: o_o

Yami:....errrr yeah...so -coughs-give it up for klok755, who managed to guess what I was going to do XD this is the last chapter/epilogue/whatever else you want to call it. But it is The. End! -sighs- feels kind of good to be free from this story. I loved it a lot. But now it's time to move on.

Kenshin: It was fun.

Everyone else: -a few unhappy mutters-

Yami: You're just pissed at who I put you all with. Stop whining! Other people have done worse, trust me.

Fran: Like who?

Yami: Someone put you with Spanner. That is the weirdest pairing I have ever seen and that story still made me smile so much my mouth hurt.

Fran: O.o

Bel/Mammon/Spanner/Shouichi: O.O

Yami: So, are you all done complaining? -no response- good! GOOD BYE EVERYONE! I LOVE ALL YOU FREAKS!

Everyone: DON'T OWN, DON'T SUE!!!

**A/N:** OH HOLY FUCK! I screwed up! There is a character that appear in this chapter that belong to Evanescences Angel, she let me use her for the story. DX I'm soooooo sorry Angel-chan! I forgot to mention it!!!! Kotetsu belongs to Evanescences Angel!!! Not me! DX I'm soooooorrrrry! I'll apologize to the world for my mistake! I'M SORRY WORLD! -watched Fruits Basket earlier XD-

**The End**

The church was alive with activity. People from all over the world were gathering in the pews, dressed in their finest wear. The Old Italian cathedral would hold them all, but just barely. In the back rooms, women and men were running in and out of two rooms, yelling at each other as they passed, or grabbing something that someone handed them.

Inside two separate rooms, the men and women gathered, getting ready the two occupants. One was occupied by the women, getting a girl ready for her big day. A wedding dress fit for a princess on her coronation day hung on a clothes hanger in the corner, waiting to be put on while brushes and puffs and pencils and curlers attacked the girl who was destined to wear it. Her curses, enough to make a sailor blush, just made her tormentors laugh.

Two hallways away, the room filled with men was the exact opposite of their counterparts. While the women's room had been filled with noise and laughter, everyone in this room was quiet, twitchy, and nervous…well almost everyone…

"Xike! Xick! I told you two to be careful!" Squalo exclaimed as his youngest children knocked over one of the groom's men. The two silver haired, silver eyed children were always causing trouble. Their shrieks of laughter didn't diminish till their father had caught them and hung them upside-down by their ankles. "Xanxus!" the anger in the shark's voice was as obvious as his agitation at the situation. "Put them down! If they tux gets ruffled you are dead!"

The retired boss quickly put his youngest sons back on the ground and sat down.

Groaning, Squalo looked over at who would soon be his son-in-law. The blind man was calmly reading a book, his fingers running along the raised bumps on the pages. He and the twins were the only ones who weren't nervous. It pissed him off. Apparently it also pissed off Xiale; because he kept throwing his future brother-in-law murderous looks.

"You nervous?" Tsuna asked as the clock struck eleven thirty.

Dante Giovanni Vizzini turned his lifeless blue eyes towards the Vongola Decimo and smiled. "Not really, milord. I am nervous about being shot at, most certainly. But finally being married to milady? No, I am just happy."

Tsuna chuckled. Before one of the Varia Family members could make a crude comment, the door burst open, and a child raced in. Her black ponytails bounced as she threw herself at her tutor, Spanner. He caught her easily and placed her back on her feet. Their hands moved in a silent conversation. Finally, Spanner nodded. Crimson eyes closed as Xixi smiled widely, turned, and darted out of the room again.

Spanner straitened and told the room at large, "The girls are ready." With that one statement, everyone in the room went into a panic. The twins started running around, screaming, and grabbing onto people's arms and legs. The triplets were scrambling to calm the youngest children down –being the oldest of the future guardians –and the adults were all panicking…except Dante and Spanner. Smiling excitedly, the groom stood up, and accepted the leading hand the older man offered. They left the room while everyone else was still in chaos. Squalo and Xanxus would leave a moment later, hurrying towards the room their daughter was in.

Xiana scowled as she looked at herself in the mirror. " Vaaai! I look like a stupid fairytale princess!" She looked around at her aunts with a look of despair. "Everyone is going to laugh!"

"No they won't," Kyoko assured the girl, adjusting the tiara attached to the veil. "You look beautiful." She paused as she brushed a few strands of hair out of the way. "I wish you had agreed to a high neck wedding dress," she admitted with a sigh.

Xiana opened her mouth to give a snappy reply. The door opened and her father and mother rushed in. They both stopped and stared. Their daughter stood before them, almost unrecognizable. The sleeveless wedding dress was wrapped tightly around her small bosom, the corset beaded with pearls and diamonds giving her more of a figure than she actually had –courtesy of her mother. The multitude of skirts flared out from the bottom of the corset, hiding her long legs and thin feet, clad in small delicate ballet slippers. With no sleeves, no neck, and a low back, almost all of the scars that were reminders of the faithful battles against the Avila Family were very visible with her ebony hair pulled up into an elegant bun, and only about a foot of hair falling from that. The women had lined her eyes with gentle silver eyeliner and eye shadow to bring out the brilliant silver in the irises. Atop her head was a tiara of silver, embedded with a single smooth blue sapphire, and a few diamonds scattered around. Another, small blue sapphire tear drop, hung with a silver chain, hung between her brows, falling from the center of the tiara.

"Hi papà, mamma," she called, smiling a little nervously. Xanxus continued to stand there, dumbstruck, while Squalo hurried forward and fussed over her veil and the placement of the tiara, a family heirloom.

Ariel smiled, practically jumping in her maid of honor's dress. "We're ready!" Come on! Come on!" Isabella sighed and reached out, stopping their friend from tiring herself out too soon.

.

.

.

Whispers ran through the pews as people fidgeted and waited excitedly for the bride to finally appear. When the announcement that Xiana Arianna Superbia Vongola, leader of the Varia, was to be wed to the second son of the Vizzini Family, there were many skeptical people. The girl's noteworthy negative behavior towards romance, and her own violent personality turned off many potential suitors. Imagine everyone's shock when the blind second son managed to win her over.

Standing at the front with the priest, Dante stood tall in his tux, dirty blonde hair pulled back in a low ponytail, a smile on his face. His father, elder brother, and Xiale stood by him, all looking much more nervous than the groom did.

The music started, the doors opened. Sawada Kotetsu, first daughter and second child of Tsunayoshi and Kyoto, appeared first, followed by Isabella, Xixi –walking with one hand holding onto her nanny, the Newfoundlander Mima –, and Ariel. The twins, Xike and Xick, walked in, each proudly holding up a pillow with a ring on it. Everyone had been a little hesitant at letting them handling the wedding rings, being the psychotic children that they were. But Xiana had said she'd keep them out of the insane asylum for a few more weeks if they didn't screw up her wedding, and they gave their word they wouldn't.

Everyone gasped as the bride and her two escorts finally appeared. Xiale started up a whispered explanation of what his sister looked like in her wedding dress for Dante as his mother, father, and sister made their way up the aisle.

When the group finally reached the front, Squalo stepped aside, and Xanxus -reluctantly- placed his eldest daughter's hand in that of Dante. The young man smiled widely as he pulled Xiana to his side. Another gasp rippled through the crowd as a blindingly bright smile appeared on the girl's face as well. And when the priest finally announced them husband and wife, and they shared their first kiss, the entire church exploded with cheers. Xiana smiled happily, her cheeks red, and eyes shining brightly as she and Dante exited the church towards the carriage that awaited them.

"You owe us five bucks each," Xike and Xick told the Yamamoto triplets when they reached the reception held at the Vongola mansion. "Told you she'd smile."

The three reluctantly handed over the money and turned to watch as their 'charge' the future eleventh Vongola, danced with Xixi. A few feet from them, Xiale was dancing with Adina, blushing bright red.

"Stil creepy as hell," they told the twins, who cackled and nodded.

.

.

.

The night was silent. The household had long ago gone to sleep. With no one up, it was no surprise that when a door opened, several people woke with a start. Xanxus was one. He greeted his bloodied daughter at the door to what was now her office. "You're a mess. What did you do? Slip in blood?"

"No," snarled Xiana stretching and winching as her bones popped unpleasantly. "I fell into a vat of blood. I really should consider sending Fran out next time the mission is in an old hospital turned torture unit."

"He'd love that," two voices cackled.

Xike, Xick, and Xixi grinned at their elder sister while she glared down at them.

"So would…"

"…big brother, he'd…"

"…enjoy so much…"

"…blood to examine for…"

"Problems!" they both finished.

It would make a good doctorate thesis for him, Xixi signed with her hands. A screw driver fell out of her sleeve. She quickly snatched it up, blushing.

"Because every doctor loves blood and guts," a voice growled from behind the group. All but Xixi –who didn't hear –turned to see Xiale walking towards them with Squalo. With such a cold night out, Squalo's old wounds were hurting him, reducing his usual walk to a limp. "I am doing my doctorate thesis on the effects of different stimuli upon the mental process, thank you very much."

"In short, torture," the twins cackled gleefully. Squalo smacked both of them over the head.

"Get to bed! Both of you!" He glanced at Xixi, who was looking up at everyone with confusion on her face. Bending down in front of his youngest daughter, he asked where Mima was.

"Sleeping," Xixi replied, her word voice thick and uncertain. She didn't like talking, but mamma's eyes were growing weak, and he couldn't see very well at night anymore. Not since the accident.

Go to sleep then, he sighed back and shuttled the younger kids back to bed leaving Xiale, Xiana, and Xanxus in the hallway.

Something moved from within the office. Xanxus and Xiale glanced at the door curiously before rolling their eyes. Xiana smirked wolfishly. "If you two don't mind, someone wants to greet me."

Xanxus muttered a few swear words under his breath and left. Xiale looked over his sister, checking for wounds first. When he found none, he kissed a blood free part of her cheek and wished her a good night. Once he was gone, Xiana opened up the door to her office and grinned at Dante, who was sitting at her desk. "I'm home jackass."

He smiled. "Love you too, milady."

A crash interrupted the happy atmosphere. A few seconds late, a loud metallic clang echoed through the halls. "For fuck's sake Xixi, go to sleep!" Xiana shrieked, annoyed at her nerdy little sister's insistence of staying up late every night, working on some stupid invention she, Spanner, and Irie were making. The yelling proved pointless since the girl was deaf, and she continued on working.

"You have a very silly family," Dante commented airily.

Xiana smirked, reached across the desk, and dragged her new husband closer. "Yeah, and now you're part of it." She kissed him.

And so ends one story and begins another…that I'm probably not going to write any time soon.

Yami: Okay, so here are the details for some things.

Xixi: Also known as Xima Daniela. She was born when Xiale was three and Xiana nine. She was born deaf. Instead of a human nanny, Anita trained a Newfoundlander to take care of her. Anita died shortly after finishing the training. Xixi is the nickname Spanner –who she formed a deep bond with –gave her when she was unable to say her own name right. She is training to be a mechanic like Spanner and Irie. She will never become an assassin. Squalo was sick when he was pregnant with her. She looks exactly like her father. Marries Tsuna's son

Xike Squalo and Xick Squalo: Born when Xiana was 13, Xiale was nine, and Xixi was six. Because of how late in Squalo's life they were born and because each pregnancy got harder, Squalo was very sick while pregnant with the twins. The three of them were lucky to survive, but Squalo spent a few weeks in intensive care after the birth. Xike and Xick were born with no obvious birth defects, but everyone thinks their psychotic and rather insane nature -they've been in and out of the asylum several times -is due to Squalo being sick while pregnant with them. They show no interest in anything but being assassins –and staying out of the insane asylum. Their talents don't lie in guns, or swords, or any regular weapons, but for some reason, illusions are their talent. As such, they have bonded with Fran, Mammon, and Chrome and Hibari's daughter, who is a mist type as well. They love playing pranks. They look exactly like their mother. On a side note: Twincest abound with these two :D

The Accident: an incident when the twins were still very young. While on a mission with the other Varia, Squalo and Xanxus got caught in a trap. The resulting damage to both their bodies and brains left them in comas for over a month. Xanxus came out of it relatively unshaved, though he wears reading glasses now and he developed a mild form of asthma, and gets bad headaches. Squalo received a bad leg injury that never completely healed, and his eyesight gets worse with every year. He wears glasses most of the time now. After the Accident, both of them retired from active service, and now serve behind the scenes helping Xiana rule the Varia.

Dante Giovanni Vizzini: Second son of the Vizzini Family, the fifth strongest Family in the world. They deal heavily in the medical and information fields. Dante lost his eyesight at the age of five, after falling ill. While blind, he is very adept at using a staff, which he usually carries everywhere with him, and doesn't appear at first glance blind at all. He and Xiana met during their final years at high school. It took quite awhile for him to worm his way into her heart, but when he finally did, they became inseparable. Her nickname for his is jackass, sweet isn't it? His nickname for her is milady. Exact opposite in every way except in fighting ability. Their battle record is 622 draws, no wins on either side. He has tanned skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. He is the rain guardian in the new Varia.

The Avila Family battles: -SPOILER FOR FAMILY EXPLOSION! DO NOT READ IF YOU READ THAT ONE!!!!- The Avila Family is a constant pain all through Xiana's life until high school. They kidnap her and many other mafia children at one point. Childred are what they need to power their secret weapon. In almost every battle, she walks away with more scars on her back. One time they kidnap her and her brother, Isaac, Ariel, Adina, other children, and a pregnant Gokudera. While escaping, she gets pushed into a sharp grating, turning the back of the top half of her body into a bloody mess. Needless to say, when ice skating she wears long sleeves.

Yami: And that's about it. Good bye everyone, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews that kept this story going ^-^. Love yeah freaks! R&R one final time!!!!


End file.
